


The Vanishing Proposal

by thelionmutters



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Alive Talia Hale, Alternate Universe - Human, Amnesiac Derek, Angst, Complete, Emotional, Emotional Roller Coaster, Established Relationship, Feels, Flashbacks, Hurt Stiles, Indie Music, John Stilinski is amazing, M/M, Music, Music Titles, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Scott and Stiles are Brothers, Scott is an amazing brother, Super Angst, Unbeta'd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-02-04 03:34:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 130,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1764239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelionmutters/pseuds/thelionmutters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Talia Hale wait for Derek to return from work. Except Derek doesn't make it back to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Somebody I Used to Know

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Vanishing Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115431) by [thelionmutters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelionmutters/pseuds/thelionmutters). 



> An Alternate to The Vanishing Love.

“Stiles,” Derek said to his partner over the phone, “I’m running late, just leaving my office now.”

“Okay,” Stiles replied, “don’t take too long. We are having dinner at your mom’s.”

“Will try my best,” Derek responded. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Stiles said ending the conversation.

Stiles thought that he had ended what was just another conversation with his partner over the phone, but what he had yet to discover was that nothing would be same again.

Derek had gotten into a car crash on the way home and had to be rushed to the hospital. Stiles had already been at Derek’s mother home by the time they got the call. Derek’s mother, Talia, and Stiles rushed to the hospital as quickly as they could; calling family and friends to let them know what was happening. Everyone was rushing to the hospital in hope that whatever news awaiting them was nothing horrific.

When Stiles and Talia arrived at the hospital they had no idea where to go and were trying their best to remain calm- not letting their minds wander to negative thoughts. No one was telling them anything, and when your mind gets left to its own devices in such situations it never ends well. The 40 minutes it took for a doctor to find them in the waiting room, had felt like hours.

Talia’s younger brother Peter along with his wife, Derek’s sister Cora, Stiles’ brother Scott and his wife Allison were all waiting alongside one another when Dr Deaton informed them that Derek had sustained a head injury. He said that they would be unable to know how extensive the damage was until he woke up.

They eventually got the opportunity to see Derek and to their surprise they found out him slowly awaking from his coma. Dr Deaton had been under the impression that Derek had been asleep when he informed Derek’s family about his condition, but he was just as surprised as everyone to see that Derek was awake.

He was ready to send them back to the waiting room, so that he could properly make his prognosis but Derek insisted for just a few minutes with them. They reached a compromise when Dr Deaton made everyone wait in the passage to conduct some preliminary tests.

“Derek had sustained a head injury,” Dr Deaton explained once everyone was around, “and usually within these cases things tend to not have a pleasant outcome but the fact that he is up and talking seems to be a good thing. From what I have seen he remembers all the relevant things like what day it is, where we are and who’s president. I’ll perform a quick memory test, and in conjunction with the results from the CT scan, once those are completed we will know where we stand.”

Dr Deaton went around pointing to each person and asking Derek who they were and any additional information about them. It looked liked everything had turned out alright until the Dr. had asked him if he knew who the man next to his bed was.

“Do you know who he is?” he asked indicating to Stiles.

“He’s Stilinski,” Derek replied. Stiles couldn’t help but smile broadly at hearing his partner utter his full name.

“We met in 2006,” Derek continued. “We’ve been friends for about 4 years...”

It was ultimately that sentence that had caused everyone in the room to notice something was wrong.

“Derek we’ve known each other 8 years,” Stiles corrected.

“No,” he persisted, “definitely 4 years.”

Dr Deaton realising the ramifications of the discovery that Stiles had uncovered, tried to make sure that he knew exactly the extent of his memory loss.

“Derek,” he started, “what year is it?”

“2010,” he said.

Stiles’ heart broke instantly. That was the year that everything had changed; Derek had broken off his engagement with Kate and had come to accept his bisexuality only to brazenly kiss Stiles on New Year’s Eve. It was the very kiss that launched the New Year and the start of their relationship in 2011.

“Where’s Kate?” he said, “I hope this doesn’t put a delay on the wedding.”

As if every word was a nail in the coffin of their relationship, Derek continued speaking without realising that he was deeply hurting someone he had no idea was in love with him.

“But Derek honey,” his mother Talia started, “you have been with Stiles here for the past 3 years? Surely you must remember that?”

“What do mean been me and him?” Derek asked perplexed.

“Together,” Cora explained, “you two are like the most in love couple I know.”

“Stiles and I aren’t in love,” Derek said laughing. “That’s as crazy as me saying Uncle Peter was married. That’s never going to happen...”

“But I am married,” Peter replied showing him the wedding band around his finger.

All Stiles could do was sit and watch as his relationship had vanished into thin air. The Derek he had fallen in love with had yet to materialise. Making peace with that was hard especially considering the main reason for the dinner tonight was so that Stiles could propose.

They usually had a weekly dinner date with his mother and as to not raise any suspicion Stiles had asked Talia if he instead could set up the surprise dinner date. Derek didn’t know that Stiles had spent the day with his mother making sure that everything would go perfectly for when Stiles proposed. He was so scared when he asked Talia for her permission so he could marry her son, but his worry was washed away when he heard her saying, “It is long overdue if you ask me.”

But now? None of that mattered.

“I am going to get some air,” Stiles mumbled holding back the tears threatening to fall, “Give you some time to have to yourself.”

Stiles felt like he could not breathe. The walls were closing in and it all was becoming too much for him. It almost felt like he was back in the hospital about to have a panic attack when he saw his mother’s vitals started crashing. Standing there unable to do anything.

He never thought that it would happen to him, things like this only happened in the movies. However, now that it happened to him- it changed his world. In the course of day, the life he envisioned, the love he had shared was all gone. He did not fully understand what would happen now but with all of his thoughts banging around his head, he needed to get outside.

Stiles loved Derek with all his heart and Derek loved Stiles too... or at least had loved him. Their relationship had its challenges but they always got past them. This time Stiles wasn’t so sure if they would make it at all.

Talia came after Stiles to check up on him; she wasn’t surprised to see the young man leaning against the wall, his face tear stricken as he held a small box in his hands.

Stiles never knew that such a small box could weigh so much. He just kept staring at the box; the love it was meant to represent now null and void.

He suddenly felt arms around him, hugging him. He recognised who it was by the smell of roses.

He couldn’t help but further break underneath her grasp, sobs of pain involuntarily being released as he now had to figure out how he would puzzle together a life without the man he loved.

“Oh my boy,” she whispered. “My dear, dear boy...”

Talia couldn’t help but tear up too. The love that the two of them had shared, a love that she knew only came around once in a lifetime, had vanished right before their eyes.

It had vanished and it seemed like there was no way of ever getting it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote The Vanishing Love as a one shot and I had planned to end the story just like that but somehow I got inspiration to continue. Instead of just continuing the story from the original story itself I chose to reinvent it for a longer fic, in that way not disrupting the readers. I hope you enjoy this journey with me.  
> Any mistakes are my own.  
> Please don’t be scared to comment- if you want to connect with me you can find me at www.thelionmutter.tumblr.com  
> Title: Somebody I Used to Know - Gotye ft. Kimbra


	2. It Will Rain...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

“Where’s everyone?” Stiles asked Talia as he came into Derek’s room.

“Dr Deaton took them out,” Talia replied. “He said that Derek needed to rest. I promised the nurse I would only be here for a few more minutes before I left. He’s been asleep since I came into the room.”

“I’ll leave you two alone then,” Stiles said.

“Don’t be silly Stiles,” she replied. “Come here. Are you feeling better?”

“I am thank you,” Stiles answered as she took hold of his hand. “I’m sorry for breaking down on you earlier.”

“Stiles, honey, don’t apologise,” she answered. “I just want you to be okay, this is _not_ going to be easy on anyone- you and Derek more so, but I know you boys will survive.”

Stiles hoped so. He admired her hopeful nature, it was one of the reasons he always loved talking to Derek’s mother. Not only was she wise, but in all her life she had managed not to have been turned cynical by the world around her. Whenever he spoke to her over the years, she always gave him helpful advice, and was always so hopeful.

He slowly lingered nearby the edge of Derek’s bed, his face hiding the pain he had been in moments before, the tears dried off. Talia had helped him pull it together and he was grateful that she had been there for him.

She slowly rose from the chair beside Derek’s bed.

“I would stay with him all night,” she smiled, “but Cora still has her exam tomorrow and Laura is flying to Beacon Hills. She gets in at 5am this morning so I want to make sure someone’s at the house for her arrival.”

“I think I’ll stay here and keep him company,” Stiles said. “If I go home I doubt that I’ll get any rest.”

“I’ll come around tomorrow as early as I can,” she stated, ”would you like me to bring anything?”

“No thank you,” he smiled.

“Okay then,” Talia gently touched his face. “Make sure you at least try and get some rest.”

“I promise.”

Stiles sat down, taking the seat Talia had previously occupied, gazing at the man before him. He looked so peaceful and without a worry in the world. Stiles would occasionally watch Derek as he slept because he seemed so serene.

Stiles just watched on as the love of his life lay asleep in the hospital bed, his face covered with a few scrapes and stiches from the crash. Nothing else but the sound of his breathing and the heart monitor being heard. The repetition of it all eventually pulled Stiles into his own abyss.

He was unsure of how much time had passed when he had been startled awake as someone move nearby him. Stiles was surprised to find that it was his stepmother who had startled him.

“Sorry kiddo,” she said. “You looked like you were getting cold. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” Stiles replied his voice somewhat groggy. “How’s he doing?”

“He seems to be fine,” she answered.

She slowly picked up Derek’s chart located at the foot of the bed and paged through it.

“Scott told me everything that had happened as soon as I got out of surgery,” Melissa Stilinski continued, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Stiles said. “I thought you would have gone home after your surgery...”

“I was going to but I wanted to check in on Derek before I left,” Melissa explained. “I convinced the nurse to let me conduct his check-up.”

“Thank you for doing that,” Stiles replied as she looked at the chart.

“It seems,” she stated, “that while Derek’s brain scans indicate that the swelling has subsided, he did sustain a head trauma. The fact that he was alert is a very good sign but it stills remains important that we have to wake him up every few hours.”

Stiles watched as she slowly awoke Derek from his sleep. Derek's bed had been raised to help him see her clearly, getting him to sit up on his own would have put him in more pain.

Stiles kept a silentlyintent watch as his stepmother conducted her job- asking Derek a few questions, checking his pulse and his pupil response; quietly filling in the necessary information onto his chart for when the Doctor does his rounds.

“Is there anything else you want to tell me? Feeling queasy?”

“Other than a headache and tenderness around across my ribcage there is nothing else really,” Derek answered.

“There was bruising but you luckily didn’t break anything,” Melissa answered. “Otherwise, I’m glad you’re alive Derek.”

Derek just nodded before she turned her attention to Stiles.

“You going to be okay kiddo?”

“I’ll be fine,” he smiled, “just tell dad not to worry-”

“Fat chance of that,” she laughed.

“I’ll call him tomorrow and check up on him,” Stiles added. “Tell Scott that he should go home, although I wouldn’t mind if he brought me a change of clothes when he comes around tomorrow.”

“I will do,” Melissa said leaning over to kiss his head. “Derek, you rest easy. Another nurse will check on you in a couple of hours’ time okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded.

“Goodbye young men,” she replied as she departed.

It didn’t take long for Stiles to realise that he had been left alone with Derek. He didn’t know what to say or do, so he just sat there, leaving an awkward silence that lingered in the air between them.

“Uh...I can go if you want?” Stiles enquired.

“No. Don’t go,” Derek said. “Well you can if you want, but I don’t think I can fall asleep again so soon...”

Stiles nodded. He didn’t have anything else to say so the silence that was between them had quickly returned. It reminded Stiles of the first few times they were left alone with no one knowing what exactly to say.

Well technically, that wasn’t true- Stiles did have something to say (when did he not) but getting a response from Derek that was more than a one word answer was impossible. Eventually they got to know each other and he slowly opened up. The Stiles back then would’ve come up with something to say, but Stiles had matured and as a result he sat there in silence.

Their relationship was like everyone else’s- they would have periods of silences that no one felt obligated to fill. Unfortunately this wasn’t one of them, and if he was being honest it was foreign feeling for him. However, Stiles remained in his chair. Even though they weren’t saying anything, he wanted to show Derek that he was there to support him, no matter what.

“How you feeling?” Stiles asked when he felt brave enough to speak up.

Stiles didn’t intend to ask him the question that he had been asked repeatedly, it was just the first thing that came out of his mouth. If he had been in Derek’s place, he would’ve been pretty annoyed but to his surprise he got very truthful answer.

“Not sure,” Derek said. “I just lost the last few years of life where I had apparently broken off my engagement with Kate and became romantically involved with another guy, who I’m supposedly so in love with...”

Stiles felt like he had a frog in his throat. It was hard to hear the love of his life speak so clinically about their relationship – especially since there was nothing clinical about their love. Things had changed instantly for them when Derek kissed him all those years ago. He had been surprised when it happened, but it was something that made him realise how much he actually desired the man.

He did his best to cover up the anguish Derek’s words caused him because making the guy feel guilty for something he didn’t intend to come across as hurtful, was not right. It wasn’t fair on Stiles, sure, but neither is life.

“-but other than that I feel like I have a constant headache so all-in-all I’m shit,” Derek finished.

“You want me to talk to the Doctors?” Stiles spoke quickly, “I can tell them to give you stronger pain medication if it’s not working. I had the same problem with find the proper meds for my ADHD when I was on them.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Derek said. “I’m sure that I’ll be okay...thanks.”

“Okay.”

The silence returned, though it was underscored by the pitter-pattering of rain on Derek's room window.

Stiles started fidgeting with a thread that had come loose on the chair. It gave him something to do. He felt anxious, and usually when that happens he gets fidgety- playing with the loose thread distracted him from the silence.

Derek just sat there, aching and feeling exhausted but with his mind far too active for him to consider falling asleep. He had been avoiding direct eye-contact with Stiles the whole time he had been there, managing to look him but not specifically.

He quickly stole a glance at the young man when he noticed had gone quiet, watching him fiddling with a loose stitch on his chair. His face covered with a slight scowl showing his anxiety about something. Derek could see that he had a lot on his mind.

“You?” Derek voiced.

“Huh?” Stiles replied, refocusing his attention on Derek.

“How are _you_ feeling?”

“Uh...” Stiles uttered momentary caught off-guard before coming up with an answer. “Not as shitty as you must be, but it’s not the best day of my life either.”

Stiles had given Derek a meek smile when he answered his question. He was feeling heartbroken and like someone had ripped his heart out of his chest before crushing all the love out of it, but he couldn’t say that. He could feel his eyes start to well up with tears but had to keep regain control of himself. He quickly did one of those sniffs where you try to hide the fact that you’re on the verge of crying, before Derek noticed.

Derek saw the honesty in the answer that Stiles had given him. It boggled to his mind as he tried to imagine how the guy must have felt. Stiles had essentially lost the man he loved. Well technically he didn’t, but the man that Stiles knew and the man who sat before him were two different people. Derek didn’t know how he would be feeling, so the fact that Stiles managed to have a smile on his face- even if was a mild one – was something Derek admired in the guy.

Through all of his own emotions, he seemed genuinely concerned for Derek’s well-being.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Derek said before clarifying, “for keeping me company. I’d really be going out of my mind now if I was alone.”

“Glad I could be of help,” Stiles smiled. “You should try and get some rest though; soon you’ll have another nurse wake you up, and sleep is vital commodity not to be wasted.”

Derek smirked at that. He relaxed into his bed, listening to the sound of the rain, as he tried to quiet his mind. Unfortunately that was easier said than done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the chapter and the surprise with the Stilinski family addition.  
> Title: It Will Rain - Bruno Mars  
> You can find me on www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com


	3. Lay Me Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out to be a bit longer because the story dictated so. I am but a writer at the mercy of my characters. Any mistakes are my own.

Stiles could feel the heat of a body behind his back; he wasn’t surprised when he turned over to find that he was sharing his bed with Derek Hale. They were lying in bed together as Derek put his arm around Stiles to cuddle him.

“Someone is happy to see me,” Stiles said suggestively.

“I’m always happy to see you,” Derek replied.

“I bet you say that to all the guys,” Stiles smirked.

“Only the one’s I love,” Derek said before he kissed Stiles. “Right here, beside you in this bed is one of my favourite places in the world.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Derek replied grasping Stiles’ face with his hands, “because it’s where I get to hold you, love you, share my soul with you and lay by your side.”

“I love you so much I can’t wait to marry you,” Stiles said.

“Nothing in this world would give me greater pleasure,” Derek attacked Stiles’ mouth like there was no tomorrow.

Kissing Derek caused Stiles’ stomach to do a flip. His heart rate would pick up, his skin would tingle and his underwear would become annoyingly restrictive- all while he was left feeling breathless too.

Stiles deepened the kiss, rolling on top of Derek.

Derek’s hands moved towards Stiles’ ass, gripping them firmly. Stiles always enjoyed when he did that. Derek would usually grope him lightly but Stiles absolutely loved it when Derek was a bit rough.

Stiles in turn started kissing Derek’s ear, and along his neck slowly progressing all the way to his chest. He could feel the hard muscles underneath his hands encouraging him to further explore Derek’s hot skin.

It didn’t take long before they were groping and grinding against each other.

Stiles couldn’t help but moan at the sensations he was feeling. Derek knew exactly what to do to drive him crazy, and he returned in kind. Stiles lightly traced his tongue around the edges of Derek’s lips, teasing him. He lift his head just enough so that Derek had to raise himself before he claimed Stiles’ mouth.

Derek groaned loudly as he kissed him.

He quickly rolled them over until he was on top of Stiles this time. Stiles wrapped his legs around Derek, bringing him closer so that they could continue grinding into each other.

“Derek,” he murmured involuntarily.

“Stiles,” Derek whispered.

Stiles felt himself shake.

“Stiles...”

Stiles felt himself shake again.

“Stiles!”

Stiles was being shaken aggressively.

“STILES!!”

Stiles shot up, nearly falling out of the chair he had been occupying since the night before. He was momentarily surprised by his surroundings before it all came back to him. They were in the hospital- the one that Derek had been brought to after his car crash. A car crash that resulted in him losing part of his memory, and subsequently throwing their relationship into disarray.

“Morning sleepy head,” Scott greeted. “What you were mumbling in your sleep?”

“Nothing,” he said sitting up.

He had woken up to reality, which for Stiles felt like a nightmare. The morning should’ve been all about him lying beside the man who was meant to be his fiancé, but now he woke up to no fiancé and his brother in Derek’s empty hospital room.

“How did you sleep?” Scott continued. “The chair doesn’t exactly look comfortable.”

“It isn’t,” Stiles groaned stretching out. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to check up on my brother and simultaneously fulfil my brotherly obligations by bringing things from your apartment like you asked. I also went the extra mile and got you the favourite coffee.”

“Oh, thanks for that,” Stiles replied. “You’re a godsend.”

Stiles held onto the cup of coffee for quite some time, letting the aroma and heat warm up his body. When the cobwebs had been cleared, he was able to properly survey his surroundings.

“Where is Derek? Is everything alright?” Stiles questioned.

“He said that they wanted to have another look at what was going on with his brain- see if the swelling had gone down.” Scott answered. “I came in just as they were wheeling him away.”

“Did they say how long it would take?”

“Not sure,” Scott said, “but from what I gathered they aren’t going to be back any time soon. Are you going to wait here? If so I will have no choice but to veto you. I think you should get out and stretch your legs for a bit. Some fresh air would do you good.”

Stiles wanted to stay but he knew that Scott had a point. Also Scott was wearing his brotherly face that said he had no choice but to do what his brother said.

“Okay then,” Stiles said.

“Breakfast?”

“Absolutely,” Stiles answered.

Stiles changed into the clothes that Scott had brought before they went to eat at the hospital cafeteria. Scott suggested they go to the nearest McDonalds instead, and after witnessing the lacklustre options the hospital had to offer,McDonalds won out.

“Where’s Allison?” Stiles asked as they got into the car.

“At work,” Scott said, “which is where I should be but I managed to get away from the clinic for the day. I’m sure the little animals will be okay, Isaac is there.”

For Scott to be away from the veterinary was a big deal because he loved working and being with the animals so much. He always made sure that he was on call no matter what in case any emergency occurred and an injured animal would need his help. He ran the veterinary with Isaac whom he had met while studying. The two of them just clicked and they’ve been close friends ever since.

“Okay.” Stiles nodded. “And how’s my dad?”

“He is fine, he wanted to come over immediately after his shift but I convinced him otherwise. He said sorry he couldn't make it, he would’ve been here this morning but they needed him at the station.

“I told your mom that I would call him,” Stiles replied.

"Well knowing your dad," Scott explained, "if you don't do it now you'll have hell to pay."

“You're telling me," Stiles agreed, "I’ll do that now.”

Stiles quickly dialled his father’s number as they drove to the nearest McDonalds. His phone rang twice before he was speaking to his dad.

“Hey Dad,” Stiles spoke up.

“Stiles, I am glad you called,” his father said. “I was going to call when things quieted down at the station. How you doing kiddo?”

“I am okay thanks, you?”

“I’m good,” Sheriff answered. “Just worried about you."

"You don't have to worry about me Dad."

"Just because I don't have to," the sheriff stated, "doesn't mean I won't. It's my job as a parent to worry about my child- even when you're a grown adult."

"I know dad," he replied. "I promise that I'm okay though."

"Stiles, I am your father, I know you are not fine."

Stiles sighed. His father was right. He wasn't fine but the more often he said it the more often he was inclined to believe it, even if it wasn't true.

"I just want to be there for you kiddo," his dad continued."I am truly sorry that you have to go through this. Melissa and Scott explained to me what had happened, and it just breaks my heart. Has any other developments?”

Speaking to his dad was a rough because, as concerned as he was for Derek’s wellbeing, he was equally as concerned for Stiles’. They spoke for the next few minutes about Derek, work and how Stiles was feeling. Stiles could hear the concern and care as he spoke to his dad. Stiles had tried his best to be strong when he heard the sound of his father’s voice as he said “I love you”; but the way his father delivered it got to him. The quiet pause at the end of the sentence, the emphasis he placed on “you” and the tremor of anguish that his voice carried indicating his feeling of helplessness- it ultimately was all that which got Stiles crying.

“You okay?” Scott asked as Stiles got off the phone.

As Stiles was clearing his throat from the lump within it and wiping his face from the streaming tears, all he could get out was -“Yeah”.

* * *

“Knock Knock!” a female voice said.

“Laura?” Derek replied.

“Hello little brother?” she replied. “Sheesh, don’t you look worse for wear? I nearly didn’t recognise you.”

Derek was caught off guard by the women who had walked into his room. He didn’t immediately recognise them, but it just took him a few seconds before he realised that it was his mother and his sister, Laura.

Derek had noticed that both his mother and sister looked older, but no less beautiful. In fact he had noticed that the night before too when everyone else had been in the room. They all looked the same except older and with a different aura around them. His mother though still maintained the gracefulness she had always had. Laura on the other hand seemed calmer than before.

“I nearly didn’t recognise you two,” Derek replied. “You look different...everyone does.”

“Good different?” his mother questioned.

“Great different,” he answered. “It’s nice to see you Mom, butwhat are you doing here Laura?”

“You don’t think I wouldn’t visit my brother after a life threatening accident?” she enquired. “I am hurt.”

“You know that is not what I meant.”

“I do,” she smiled, “but once I found out what happened I had to come. Thankfully my husband was able to get me a ticket.”

“You’re married too!?”

“Yes little brother," she smiled. "This bad girl got herself a good man."

"Wow," he sighed.

"I am going to love this,” she smirked. “All the news that you forgot that I now get to retell you.”

“I’m glad you’re seeing the good in this because I sure can’t.”

“Derek,” his mother started, “unfortunately something very tragic happened causing you to miss out on so much but sometimes life throws us unexpected curve balls and it is then when we really get to see what we’re made of. We are never given more than what we can handle.”

Derek loved his mother and positivity, she was eternally hopeful in the face of danger but right now he wasn’t so sure how to be positive about this. He had missed out on the last four years of his life. Years that had brought such drastic changes so many of them seemingly impossible and improbable; not only was Peter and Laura married, but he was no longer engaged to Kate and now was in a long term relationship with Stilinski who according everyone else was the love of his life.

If he was being honest with himself, it felt like he was stepping into someone else life and being told that it was his. He didn’t know how this would turn out but he knew that this was a lot to handle and he didn’t see the good in this.

Just then he heard a knock on the door. “Hope I’m not bothering?”

“Stiles!” Laura exclaimed giving the man a tight hug. “It's been too long! How are you?”

“Better now that I’ve seen your face!” Stiles smiled.

“Aww,” she cooed, “you always know the right things to say to make a girl feel special.”

“What can I say, you’re one special girl.”

“Careful Stiles,” she teased, “you wouldn’t want me to tell my husband that you’re flirting with me now would you.”

Stiles couldn't help but crack up at that. Derek had been thrown by seeing such a side to the guy because he seemed happy. The man had been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders but now that he was laughing and smiling he looked so different.

“It’s really nice to see you Laura,” Stiles smiled.

“Likewise Stiles,” his sister said.

Derek noticed how Stiles came around his bed to give his mother a hug. His mother hugged him in return and as Stiles released his mother from the hug, Derek was sure he could see a hint of sadness to his eyes before they were wiped away.

“Hey,” Stiles said.

“Hey,” Derek returned awkwardly.

“Everything okay?”

“I guess,” he replied. “You?”

“Coping,” Stiles smiled weakly. “By the way I wanted to say sorry for this morning,when Scott woke me up you were gone?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “The nurses came in and told me they were gonna run some tests. They asked if they should wake you up but I didn’t want them to disturb you. I saw Scott and told him to relay the message to you.”

“Yeah he did,” Stiles fidgeted, “thanks for that.”

A moment of silence had rained on them after that. Everybody was quiet.

Only a few heartbeats passed before Talia spoke up.

“You had more tests? I thought they had done that.”

“Dr Deaton wanted to run them again in case anything had changed,” Derek answered.

“Well did it?” Laura asked.

“I don’t know, he hasn’t been around with the results yet.”

As if he heard his name being spoken of, Dr Deaton entered the room.

He exchanged greetings with everyone before asking them to leave the room. When he had finished he asked for a moment to speak to them before they went back into the room.

“I decided to run another set of tests so that I could get a clearer indication of Derek’s brain activity since he's been awake. It is never certain knowinghow the brain might react in such situations as there is no standard way in which the brain reacts. In Derek’s case, it's been quite positive how quickly some of the swelling has gone down, but the issue of his memory loss is worrysome.

“Will he ever regain his memory?” Talia enquired.

“The test results indicate that that is uncertain. It may take weeks, months or years or it may never come back. Derek unfortunately has to figure out how to reconcile the fragments of his life that he has now with the present and move forward.”

Stiles felt something within him snap.

He heard what the doctor said but he wasn’t listening- he needed time to process everything. Every time he saw Derek he would get these butterflies in his stomach, and all he wanted to do was kiss the man but now he had to stop doing what had become second nature to him. The more his brain began to register the ramifications of what Dr Deaton said, the more it hit him.

Stiles has been so stunned by the news of the crash that he just took each moment as it came, trying not to think about the bigger picture. He didn’t have to think about whether not Derek would get his memories back because if he did it would lead to him entertaining the possibility that he may never get it back and the thought of that left a hollow pit in Stiles’ stomach.

Now, he had no option but to accept that that was exactly what was happening. He couldn’t help but feel his legs become lame as it all sunk in.

Derek might never be able to remember what they had, the love they had shared, the live they had started building together. They were going to join their lives together, into one; Stiles knew this because they had spoken about marriage before but always as a “later down the line" thing.Stiles knew that he would marry one day Derek. Within the first few days he started picturing them getting married, and at the time it scared him. After everything that has happened in the last 24 hours though, he knew that world was gone.

He could feel his world crumbling further with each passing moment and he wasn’t sure he would be able to hold it together for much longer.

"I'm sorry," he interrupted. "I gotta go,"

Stiles left without waiting for a reply. He could feel everything and he knew that it was all about to hit him at once. The first wave hit him the night before but he thought that he was fine. Now he could tell he wasn’t going to be fine. The dam was ready to break.

“Take me home,” he choked out Scott.

Scott could see that Stiles wasn’t okay. In all the years he had known Stiles, he had never seen him this low except for when his mother died.

Scott didn’t say a word as he drove them to Stiles’ apartment. He kept glancing at his brother making sure that he was still present. Stiles was taking deep breaths, repeatedly- not saying a word. When they got into Stiles’ apartment it became even more apparent that he wasn’t okay. Stiles was always the emotionally strong one, he was stronger than Scott, so seeing Stiles wrecked was frustrating for Scott because there was no way that he could make feel better.

“Stiles,” Scott called out.

Stiles was at his bedroom door, not turning around.

“I’ll be here for you,” Scott continued, “in the lounge, no matter what time, whenever you need.”

Stiles turned to his brother; the tears welled up in his eyes and nodded before closing the room door. Stiles almost didn’t make it to the bed.

Aware of how the bed, which use to house two, would from now on always house one.

He did the only thing he could which was climb into bed and let it out. He didn’t intend to scream into the pillow but it happened.

Then the sobbing came and it felt like he would _never_ stop crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Let me know of mistakes/thoughts/comments down below.  
> If you want to get in touch: www.thelionmuuters.tumblr.com  
> Lay Me Down – Sam Smith   
> I love Sam Smith, his voice is amazing on the dance tracks but more so his own music. He just rocks.


	4. Yellow Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the chapter. It got to me more than I expected.

Stiles was lying in bed when he felt someone prod him gently.

“Stiles,” the voice said. “Come on, you need to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry,” he said.

“Either you eat something,” the voice persisted, “or I spoon feed you.”

Stiles turned over to face the voice and to his surprise he discovered his dad standing with a tray full of food in his hands hand.

“Dad?”

“Hello kiddo,” his father replied.

“What are you doing here?”

“Scott had an emergency at the clinic and he didn’t want to leave you alone so he called me.”

“What about the station?”

“I’m the sheriff,” he replied, “I can take a sick day every now and then you know.”

“I do,” he replied, “but I’ve never seen you willing take one.”

“Well my son needed me and what better reason than to spend some time with him?”

Stiles appreciated the sentiment. His father, who had been on the force for 30 years, had never willingly taken a day of work. There were days he were forced to take off, the day he got married, the day after his wife died, the day Stiles graduated and other such special occasions but it was always done with reluctance. Even when he was sick his father would still go in, only to be sent home. It was truly a special feeling to know that his dad had willing taken the day off for him.

Stiles slowly sat up. He tried clearing the sleep from his eyes but winced as he did so.

Stiles didn’t realise how raw his eyes felt until that moment.

“You okay?” his father asked after noticing his son wince.

“Yeah,” he replied clearing his throat, “My eyes just feel dry.”

Stiles climbed out of bed and went into his on-suite bathroom, so he could splash water on his face. He didn’t recognise the person he saw in the mirror as he entered the bathroom. He had cried so much last night that it made his eyes swollen and aged him in such a way that he nearly looked unrecognisable.

Stiles took a deep breath. Last night had truly been one of the most challenging nights he has experienced. He had never felt so broken before. When his mother died he had felt a part of him die, but he learned to heal. He learned to accept Scott’s mom as his second mother and love her while still remembering his own mother. Her memory was something that he cherished deeply and would always remember which is why her initials were tattooed on his wrist.

But what happened last night, left him feeling broken in a way he never knew he could. He didn’t even know if he was okay, he just knew that he would have to take it slow which is what he was doing.

He quickly washed his face and returned to his room. He thought his father would be there, but he wasn’t. His father had placed the tray with his breakfast on his bedside and left the room. Stiles picked up the tray and went inside.

“I was wondering where you went,” he asked as he saw his father in the kitchen.

“I came to make you a cup of rooibos tea,” he explained.

“I would love a cup of coffee,” he suggested.

“Ha,” John laughed, “not while I’m here.”

“Tea it is then,” Stiles replied.

“Thought so.”

His father had been in such a habit of making his son tea while he was growing up, because of his ADHD he would have never risked giving Stiles coffee because that would be asking for trouble. For the most part Stiles had “grown out” of it. Well not really, he just knew had to handle it better without requiring medication.

“What are going to do?” Stiles asked from the sofa as he ate his breakfast.

“We are going to stay in, relax on the couch and watch action movies so you can keep your mind busy.”

“That sounds...perfect.”

“Sometimes the best thing to do,” John explained, “is to take it easy and relax.”

Stiles was truly glad to have his dad there, and that he didn’t expect him to do anything except take it easy because that was all he could manage today.

* * *

Derek had no clue how he was supposed to react in this situation, but what he did know was that he was feeling frustrated. As calm as he seemed, he felt isolated and disconnected from everyone around him.

Sitting alone in his hospital room, the solitude felt oddly relaxing especially after the day he had yesterday.

When he had been sitting with his mother and Laura yesterday afternoon, he could manage the conversations and he could handle missing out on minor news. When the rest of his family was present and everyone was talking about a recent event or had an inside joke; it was very apparent how out of sync Derek was:

“... remember that time that Uncle Peter had to come into the hospital because he broke his hand when he knocked it into the wall while trying to catch a Frisbee?” Cora laughed.

“He was so melodramatic announcing that it was broken,” Laura teased, “and that he would never be able to used his hand again.”

“You try slamming your hand into the wall with such speed and then hearing “crack” before and before you realise it you’re suddenly in immeasurable pain,” he deadpanned.

“It was the manner you announced that it was broken that truly made it memorable,” Talia added. “One minute he was standing up straight the next he was hunched over clutching his hand announcing ‘The pain! The pain! Make it stop’.”

“We even caught it on camera,” Cora smirked.

“Don’t worry love,” Peter’s wife Jennifer said, “You’re still my strong man.”

“Thank You,” Peter replied kissing Jennifer.

“Derek does a perfect imitation of it,” Laura said, “Come on Derek, show us how he did it?”

“I would love to,” he smiled weakly, “But I don’t remember it.”

Everyone gave him apologetic looks.

“It is okay my dear boy,” his mother consoled.

The vibrant energy that had been present in the room had been immediately sapped and Derek felt bad because he had been the cause for that. He really hated that it had happened, but what had made matters worse was that it wasn’t the first time or last time it happened that night.

His family had tried their best to talk about the times he remembered but it would often lead to them telling a new story where Derek had been present but unfortunately didn’t remember.

Derek listened intently as they told stories, not being able to contribute anything but just listen. He laughed at appropriate moments and agreed when he needed to but otherwise he was the odd man out.

He didn’t feel like a stranger because he knew the people around him, even Uncle Peter’s wife, who had been his friend but had lived across the country at the time. Apparently a lot changed in the last four years for them to have ended up married. He had never considered his uncle the type to marry but people change.

Everyone in the room had changed, including him. He was no longer the person he was meant to be. He was just a man who lost out on the last four years of his life, leaving him to pick up the pieces and fit them together like a puzzle.

Only he had no idea what the puzzle was supposed to look like.

It was frustrating but Derek tried to be patient. He knew it wouldn’t be easy but he didn’t anticipate that it would feel so isolating.

* * *

When Scott came over from the clinic at lunch he was surprised to find his brother and stepfather sitting on the sofa watching the X-Men movies.

“Don’t tell me you been sitting there the whole day?” Scott asked.

“That’s exactly what we’ve been doing,” his stepdad replied. “Come join us, we’ve just started X:Men 2.”

“I thought you went to the clinic,” Stiles questioned.

“It wasn’t my clinic, I had to amputate a wolf leg today,” Scott apologised, “the poor animal got caught in one of the bear traps that some stupid hunters left out and they only found the poor animal wailing for help this morning. Isaac had another operation that he was busy with so they needed me.”

“Oh man,” Stiles said, “was the operation a success?”

“Yeah,” Scott smiled, “he is going to make a full recovery.”

“That’s great news,” John said, “Well done Scott. I’m so proud of you.”

“I was just doing my job,” he replied sheepishly.

“Kiddo, you don’t only have your own veterinary clinic,” John boasted, “but you are also a qualified wildlife veterinarian. That is truly amazing. Just because it’s your job it doesn’t make it any less amazing.”

Scott became very self-conscious under the praise of his stepdad.

“Thanks,” he blushed.

“So you just gonna stand there going red in the face,” Stiles teased, “or you gonna join us in our movie marathon?”

“Shut up,” Scott retorted launching a pillow at Stiles.

Stiles couldn’t help but smile. It was nice to see the evolution that his relationship with Scott had taken. They had started out as friends and soon became so attached to one another that their lives entwined making them an integral part of one another’s lives. Stiles would do anything for his brother and he knew that Scott would do the same.

Scott sat down between the two Stilinskis and it was the most comfortable thing in the world. As settled in, he immediately started hogging the popcorn bowl.

“Scott,” his stepdad started, “you better not keep that popcorn bowl to yourself because if you are then we’re going to have a major issue.”

“I just sat down,” Scott defended.

“Scott,” John continued, “you’re an unconscious eater. You eat without consciously realising that you’re doing so. I’m just making you aware of the fact you may end up eating all the popcorn that I would like to get a portion of.”

“You’re just as bad I am,” Scott laughed, “or need I remind you that whenever we get any nachos a certain sheriff is the main perpetrator of eating them all?”

The two men started arguing about who was the most responsible for being an “unconscious eater,” and it was in that moment that Stiles truly saw how much love the two men had for one another. Even while Scott kept his McCall surname, he was as much as Stilinski man as Stiles.

Stiles didn’t know he would cope with losing with brother.

It was that very reason, his lack of comprehension at how to cope with the loss, that made his situation with Derek so unbearable.

Stiles had tried his best not think about Derek but it was impossible.

He loved Derek more than anything else in the world and yet, he lost him. The memories they had made together, now amounted to nothing. His love for the Derek Hale was something that Stiles had never ever experienced before in his life, guy or girl. He knew that what the two of them had was a once-in-lifetime kind of love, but it had vanished and now it seemed like there was no way of ever getting it back.

Stiles tried his best to keep it together, but he couldn’t stop the single tear that fell from his eye.

“Stiles?” Scott asked.

Stiles looked up at his father and brother, apparently having missed something that they had asked because they were both looking at him.

“Is everything okay?” his father questioned.

Stiles was quiet for a moment before he spoke up.

“What am I going to do?”

“What do mean?”

“About Derek,” he explained, “he honestly doesn’t even remember that he likes guys as well as girls, never mind that he was on the verge of marrying one? So tell me what am I to do? Do I let him go and hope that if it’s meant to be he’ll return? What am I supposed to do?”

“I think that it wouldn’t hurt to talk to Derek about it,” he father replied, “find out how he feels? Sure he may not want to be in a relationship but before that you two were friends so that at least has to count for something?”

Stiles realised that his father was right, before they were lovers, before they even considered dating they were first friends. He would firstly need to be a friend for Derek. It wasn’t easy but then again this wasn’t easy on Derek either. Stiles hoped that everything would become clearer as time went on but he wasn’t sure.

“Scott?” he asked, “What do you think?”

“Your dad is right Stiles,” he said. “You need to figure out how to go about this. But you must remember while we all have advice we aren’t in your position. No one else knows how you feel so you need to make decisions that are in your best interest. Derek is struggling as much as you are so I think that talking to him is the best thing to do.”

Stiles wanted to talk to Derek but he didn’t know how.

“I love him," Stiles admitted, “even though our relationship is ove-”

“Why are you so eager to pronounce your relationship dead Stiles?” his father interrupted.

Stiles had been caught off-guard by his dad.

“Because the man I love doesn’t remember me?”

“So?” John pressed, “Does that mean you give up? Does that mean you stopping fighting for him?”

“Dad, I _love_ him but I can’t admit that to him,” Stiles whispered, “as he has his plate full and every time we’re together there is an awkward silence. I love him with my whole heart, but Derek is in no place to love me or sustain a relationship.”

“That doesn’t mean you stop fighting,” his father replied. “You were willing to propose to Derek and love him in sickness and health till death do you part. Those vows are important Stiles. Derek is not sick, but he injured and if you aren’t there to lend him a hand then who will? It might not be romantic love he needs but he does need someone who loves him. ”

Stiles started crying.

“I don’t know if he I can dad, _it hurts_.”

“Son,” he said kneeling beside Stiles, “if it didn’t hurt, you wouldn’t be human. You are going to have to love him even though he is in no place to love you romantically. It might just be friendly love but until such a time that he tells you to stop, you keep fighting for him.”

Hearing everything that his dad was saying was hard because Stiles had been so ready to accept that the worst had happened. Stiles wondered if he had even really been optimistic about Derek’s outcome. Was it because deep down he felt like he could never be happy? That something bad would always happen? He didn’t know.

Stiles had to fight for their love. Derek might not be able to love him in the same way that he loves the man but that doesn’t mean that he should stop fighting. Until Derek tells him to stop, he will continue loving him.

“Stiles,” his father elaborated, “all you can do is be honest. You knew- no scratch that- you know him and while he’s going through a very difficult time he needs people to be honest and open with him. Did you stop to think that the reason why things were awkward between you two was because he doesn’t know what exactly is going on between you and him? All he has is what others have told him and not what you have told him. I suggest you sit down and have an honest discussion with him.”

As much as it scared him, he would have to be honest with Derek.

Honesty, he thought. Honesty is easy in theory, but in practice it was a totally different beast.

It isn’t always easy bearing your thoughts and truths to someone, especially when there is a strong level of uncertainty regarding how they may take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t be scared to comment/review/or let me know your thoughts :)  
> Find me at www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com  
> Title: I was struggling to find a song for this chapter but as I was listening to Of Monsters and Men’s “My Head is An Animal” album I was going to settle on Love Love Love. As the album progressed Yellow Light stood out for me because of the lyrics “I’m looking for a place to start, but everything feels different now. Just grab a hold of my hand, I will lead you through this wonderland,” and it just got me because of how Derek needs someone like Stiles to lead him.


	5. A Sky Full of Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I realised that some might see this as somewhat dubious consent but for being buzzed is that state where you’re happy, a bit more truthful but still in control of what do. I apologise if anyone is offended.

31 December 2010 - New Years Eve

 

“Scott, where are you dragging me?” Stiles grumbled.

“You cannot stay in like an old grandfather waiting for the year to run out!” Scott chastised.

“Yeah because watching you and Allison make out is so much better...” Stiles retorted.

“Well one of us is at least getting some action...”

“Low blow McCall,” Stiles sighed. “You know what I think I’ll just go home. Much better cable reception...”

“Come on Stiles you know that this is going to be fun. As your best friend, scrap that, as your brother I cannot allow it. Good thing I got back from Mexico in time.”

“Mmm yeah, good thing,” he deadpanned. “At least tell me where we’re going?”

“You haven’t figured it out yet?” Scott asked. “You should recognise the house?”

“Oh my God,” Stiles jaw dropped. “Don’t tell me it’s Lydia Martin’s house?”

“Do you want me to lie?” Scott smiled.

“I can’t be here,” Stiles griped. “I last saw her in high school when I was still this lovesick puppy with a huge crush on her.”

“So...”

“People change,” Stiles said. “Look at me for example? I’ve accepted the fact that I like guys slightly more than girls and that I don’t always have to say every single thought I have aloud - I’m not the same person I was.”

“And you think she hasn’t changed either?” Scott countered. “Stiles we are all different people now, just relax. It’s a Lydia Martins party, so at least you know it’s bound to be great!”

Stiles sighed as Scott pulled him towards the house. Back in high school getting an invite to one of Lydia’s parties was the only that mattered. These days it wasn’t a thing but everyone in town still showed up because a Lydia Martins party means you’re bound to have a good time.

Stiles walked beside Scott as they went into the house, not bothering to knock because the door was already open and there was a throng of people scattered all around. The music was so loud inside that when Scott spoke Stiles had missed every single word.

“Where are we going?” Stiles yelled into his brother’s ear.

“Out back by the pool,” Scott replied. “Everyone is there.”

“By everyone you mean?”

A new song started playing that had everyone cheering which meant that Stiles never got a reply from Scott. As he made his way out back, he saw tons of familiar faces, none of them particularly noteworthy just people he knew from school.

He had been trying to keep up with Scott but they got separated when someone knocked into him.

“Look where you’re going bud,” Stiles said.

“Sorr- Stiles?” the guy replied.

Stiles didn’t initially recognise the guy because it had been so long since they had seen each other. He looked very different- more muscular and with glasses.

“Danny?” he replied. “What are you doing here?”

“I could say the same to you,” Danny smiled giving Stiles a one armed hug. “I’m visiting my parents from Miami, I wasn’t going to come over but Jackson convinced me.”

“Jackson’s here?”

“Yes,” Danny replied. “Currently taking part in a game of truth or dare by the pool...”

“I see some things never change,” Stiles laughed.

“You know Jackson,” Danny smiled, “he has to march to the sound of his own drum.”

Stiles was about to agree with Danny when Scott returned to pull him away. Scott had apparently found the ‘everyone’ that he was looking for and came back when he realised he had lost Stiles.

“Scott,” Stiles said, “its Danny!”

No ways, Māhealani is that you? You have changed,” Scott greeted.

“I know right,” Stiles added.

“I gotta get Stiles to greet everyone,” Scott said, “we’ll get around to chatting later right?”

“Sure thing,” Danny smiled.

The men went their separate ways, exchanging numbers before they went off. Stiles couldn’t help but comment on Danny’s new look once he was far enough from them.

“Holy Shit,” Stiles smiled, “Did you see how hot Danny got? He looks like an underwear model...and that’s with his clothes on.”

“Stiles,” Scott said rolling his eyes, “can you try and focus, we’re here to have fun with friends. Not hook up with people.”

“Says the guy playing bedroom twister with Allison,” Stiles retorted, “I am very single and If something happened that suggested me and Danny could have a thing who am I to stop it?”

“Just keep walking we’re nearly there,” Scott replied.

They eventually got to where Scott was leading him and he recognised what Scott meant by everyone. Lydia sat beside Allison around the outside fireplace and Isaac had come along too. Stiles was bit surprised by one particular guest, Derek Hale sitting along with the group.

He noticed that the man had on one of his many plain t-shirts paired with his black leather jacket and a comfortable pair of jeans. He looked quite handsome, which all things considered wasn’t anything new for the Hale man.

“What are you doing here?” Stiles blurted out.

“Nice to see you too Stiles,” Derek laughed. “How are you?”

“Sorry,” Stiles smiled, “I am good thank you and yourself?”

“Good,” he replied, “I came back from Italy early because I missed you...”

Stiles punched him in the arm, “Try again Hale.”

“I missed my family,” he finally replied, “Italy was amazing but since I moved back to Beacon Hills just before my trip this holiday season I felt like I needed to spend some time with them. Since the trip I booked for Kate and myself was non-refundable I made a go of it with Laura.”

“Well either way I’m glad you’re back,” Stiles said hugging him.

Underneath his grasp Stiles felt the movement of hard muscles. Derek’s grip on him was tighter than he expected but it was not uncomfortable just felt intimate.

“This is for you,” Derek said when they broke apart.

He pulled out a key chain with a wolf attached.

“Oh wow,” Stiles said.

“It’s a two part gift,” Derek said. “The other one is at my apartment.”

“Is that some type of come on,” Stiles teased, “because if it is, I would at least like to be taken on a date first.”

“What if it is?” Derek smirked with a raised eyebrow.

“Derek Hale, clearly those Italians have rubbed off on you.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he winked.

“Okay who are you? And what have you done with Derek?”

Derek laughed, “You bring it out in me.”

“Whatever,” Stiles snorted. “Seriously though, thank you for this but _why_?”

“To say thank you for helping me with my move back to Beacon Hills,” Derek replied.

“All I did was help you find an apartment,” Stiles replied.

“And view the apartments,” he replied. “I was going to ask my mother to help but I didn’t need to because you found me one I liked ridiculously quickly.”

“Thanks for the trust in my talents,” he deadpanned.

“It’s not that I didn’t trust, it’s that I didn’t realise how resourceful you were...”

“Are you complementing me or insulting me?”

“I’m sorry,” he smiled, “I am complementing you... though to be fair you pretty much surprised everyone by actually finding me something decent to live in? Who knew you had it in you?”

“If this is your attempt at being funny then I’m going to need a heavy drink if this goes on for any longer.”

“Well at least I’m funnier than you,” Derek smirked.

“Keeping dreaming,” Stiles chuckled as he playfully shoved Derek.

“But honestly,” Derek said, “thank you Stiles. I appreciate the amount of time you gave up and everything you did for me.”

“It’s nothing,” Stiles grinned, “What are friends for?”

Stiles wasn’t sure but he thought he saw the glimmer in Derek’s eyes dim somewhat as he said that. He might have been imagining it. Scott had interrupted them before Stiles could have been certain of what he thought he saw.

“Hey are you two gonna keep standing here all night or are you actually going to start having fun at the party?”

“Yeah yeah McCall,” Derek replied, “we’re coming.”

For the rest of the night the music, the drinking, singing, dancing, chatting and games continued. Scott even had landed himself in the unexpected position of having to kiss Isaac much while playing truth or dare; it was quite funny. Interestingly enough, Allison also ended up kissing the hostess her Lydia while playing the same game. As an impartial observer, Stiles had to admit that both kisses were extremely hot.

But as hot as those kisses were, Stiles remained very much unkissed and he was not happy about that.

He had tried to track down Danny but was sorely disappointed when he found Danny making out with his some guy, who Stiles later discovered was his boyfriend Ethan. Even Isaac managed to find someone to exchange saliva with throughout the night.

Stiles ended up chatting to a few familiar faces for the rest of the night, having the same conversations over and over just with different people each time. He enjoyed catching up with the people but otherwise there wasn’t anything particularly significant to differentiate between an end of the year party and another one.

Stiles subsequently found himself besides Derek a little while before midnight.

“You look like you’re over it?” Derek laughed.

“Am I that obvious?”

“No,” Derek replied, “I just know you well enough to be able tell.”

Stiles caught this look in Derek’s eyes. He had seen it throughout the night when he would catch the man staring at him or at least that is what he thought. Stiles was slightly buzzed, he had a nice warm feeling while not being gone from his mind or stone-cold sober. He drunk enough water throughout the night to ensure he would not be hung-over in the morning. He had learned his lesson two years prior when he had been so drunk the night before that the following morning, he could barely eat anything without feeling like he would puke.

He promised himself ever since then he would never get _that_ drunk again and he has managed to keep his promise... for the most part. He was still young after all.

Stiles continued talking; not noticing that there was a greater implication lurking behind Derek’s words.

“Well yeah,” Stiles replied, “it’s not the party exactly. I guess I’m just over the couples really; everyone is busy smooching their significant others, or exchanging saliva with strangers but yet here am I- Unkissed, untouched and unwanted. You know one would assume that within my first two years of college I would lose my virginity but nope. While I have had a few dates with the ladies and gentleman it’s never lead anywhere. Either they were batshit crazy, wanted to get too serious too quickly, or just wanted sex. I mean yes I also wanted to get off but I wanted it to mean something, I mean I _want_ it to mean something. Like what happened to dating and taking your time with someone.”

Derek watched intently as Stiles kept talking, and without seeming to stop, Derek just kept listening because he enjoyed it. In the past few weeks he had spent with Stiles, he had really grown to be fond of the young man and if he was being honest he was starting to develop feelings for the guy.

His time away with Laura in Italy had made that clear. He had seen so many attractive men and women who would catch his eye, but he eventually realised that he had started comparing them to Stiles- this guy smiles like Stiles, this girl wrinkles her nose like Stiles, that guy laughs like Stiles, or that girl was as funny as Stiles.

What had surprised Derek was that it had been 6 months since he broke up the engagement with Kate. Months before he felt guilty like he hadn’t been truthful with her but when he was she seemed to be okay with it. It wasn’t until she started making snide commentary and started using it to create unnecessary arguments did he realise she was not the girl he thought she was.

He hadn’t told anyone besides Kate that he was bisexual because he was getting married to her and it felt like a dead point but after the engagement ended and he had started getting over her was he able to open about it. He was surprised by his developing feelings for Stiles because he didn’t think that it would happen so quickly. He had always knew that the guy was attractive but it was as they slowly started reconnecting did he get to know how much the man had changed and grown.

If he had ever been told that he would eventually develop feelings for Stiles then, then he would have balked at the idea. It would have been crazy to think that he would grow to see the Stilinski man in a romantic light, but yet it happened. No longer was he the wiry kid, that Derek knew growing up; Stiles was a funny and strong minded young man.

He had truly come into his own and it was his strong sense of self that truly made Derek take notice.

“I agree,” Derek finally responded, “but sometime you just gotta take a risk.”

“True,” Stiles said, “but I mean you still got to be smart about these things.”

“Fair enough.”

Derek realised that what he wanted to do at midnight to Stiles wasn’t necessarily smart, but it was a risk that he wanted to take. He had tried talking himself out of it but he realised that he wanted to really kiss Stiles and with Stiles talking about being unkissed and wanting to be kissed, he was really fulfilling the guy’s wishes.

“By the way,” Stiles stated, “I wanted to ask how you knew that I’d be here.”

“Well because I asked Scott to get you here.”

“Why would you do that?”

“So that I could do this,” Derek answered with a kiss.

Derek had gingerly taken hold of Stiles’ face as he kissed the young man.

He had butterflies in his stomach the whole time leading up to the kiss, and his nerves were also amplified when Stiles’ lips stood still for what like the longest time.

Derek pulled an away scared that he had done something that he shouldn’t. The look on Stiles’ face didn’t really ease his concern of that fact either.

“I apologise,” he shifted, “I shouldn’t ha-”

Stiles had been in shock when Derek was suddenly kissing him, he didn’t know what to make of it but when he had stopped and wasn’t being kissed anymore, it took Stiles a couple of seconds before he realised he wanted the kiss to continue.

“Why did you stop?” Stiles replied as he reclaimed the man’s lips.

He could feel as they both relaxed into the kiss and let their instincts take over.

With each passing moment, the candle that represented Stiles’ pleasant regard for Derek Hale grew into a bonfire of desire for the man. Derek was gently holding onto his face having been patient with Stiles and now his patience was paying off. Stiles passionately returned the kiss, moving his body closer to Derek’s so he could fully enjoy it. His senses were tingling and he was enjoying every single second of it.

Eventually when the broke apart for some much needed air, both men’s lips were swollen. There was this temporary look of stupor on Stiles’ faces and Derek could tell that he was poised to say something but he was overpowered by some stranger’s voice.

“Everyone it’s the New Year! Happy New Year!”

Cheers and screams erupted around them as everyone continued dancing, drinking and partying their way into the New Year. Fireworks could be seen overhead mixing their multicoloured mini explosions with the stars.

“Happy New Year,” Derek smiled gently stroking Stiles’ cheek with his thumb.

“Happy New Year indeed,” Stiles whispered in return.

He didn’t think much before quickly closing the gap between him and Derek continuing their kiss. Derek was glad that Stiles had kissed him because it meant that there was something between them, something that hopefully both men wanted to further explore.

Stiles relished in the kiss. He found it so intoxicating that he was running his hands through Derek’s hair and gripping onto the man. Everyone else existed around them as both men couldn’t resist kissing on another.

They were so entranced by what had transpired that they were confused when a sudden flash of blinding light had occurred. They reluctantly broke their kiss and were surprised to find Lydia Martin standing with her Polaroid camera in hand.

“I would apologise for interrupting your make out session,” she started, “but we both know you are going to thank me for this picture. Happy New Year Boys!”

When Stiles’ eyes readjusted he realised that he had truly just made out with Derek Hale and not only was he surprised so were all their friends. Scott and Allison’s look of shock was nothing compared to Isaac’s. Lydia and Jackson both had a smirk on their faces while Danny and his boyfriend Ethan wolf whistled.

Stiles was surprised when he saw that somewhere in their kissing session, he had ended up in Derek’s lap. He could feel himself get red underneath everyone’s stares and instead of curling into a ball and hiding from everyone he was glad when Derek took the lead.

Sensing that he wanted to move, Stiles stood up he wasn’t sure what Derek was planning until the man offered his hand to Stiles. Stiles searched his eyes for any hint that he could glean from them but there was none to be found.

He took hold of the Hale man’s hand and watched as Derek stood up straight with Stiles at his side and he started speaking with such confidence that Stiles had to admit was entirely sexy.

“Firstly I do apologise that you witnessed that as we apparently got carried away,” Derek smiled, “hopefully next time we’ll be more observant...”

Stiles couldn’t help but think ‘Next time?’

“Secondly, thank you for the photo Lydia,” he continued, “I will be sure to get it from you later. I hope it will be one of many to come...”

Stiles heard the slight tremble in Derek’s voice towards the end of that sentence.

“Thirdly and lastly, Happy New Year Everyone!”

Stiles had no clue what had just happened but if this was any indication of the year ahead then 2011 was bound to bring in some truly unforgettable experiences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you were expecting “the talk” but I promise it is coming. I felt like a retrospective was in order, as there are some developments in here that will be used in later chapters. I had hoped to post this sooner but it didn’t fit into the story until now. I hoped you enjoyed it.  
> You can find me at: www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com  
> Title: A Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay


	6. The Scientist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The Talk”- Any errors are my own.

Stiles took a deep breath. He was standing outside Derek’s door calming his nerves and gathering his thoughts before he went inside.

It had been two days since he had last seen Derek. It’s not like he didn’t know how the man was doing. He had been updated on Derek’s health when he received a surprise visit from Talia Hale the night before. The Hale matriarch came to check up on Stiles following his sudden departure from the hospital.

He had apologised for the abrupt departure but Talia was very understanding. She explained that the reason she waited before contacting Stiles was so that he could have his space.

Stiles had to admit that he always underestimated Talia’s power of perception. She often picked up on matters before the she was told of them- for instance she knew that Derek and Stiles were dating a week before they finally told her. It was impressive and sometimes Stiles even felt a little jealous at how she did it.

“He didn’t explicitly ask because Derek isn’t necessarily one to open up,” she explained over a bowl of ice-cream, “but he was wondering where you were today.”

If Talia was being really truthful with the boy she would have told him about Derek checking the door whenever someone walked in. But she didn’t do that. This was very confusing time for them both and telling Stiles would only cause him more anguish than do any good. The young man already looked exhausted and like he had been crying.

“Really?” Stiles asked sounding surprised.

“Well you’ve been at the hospital more than anyone so naturally he’d notice if you didn’t show up. I told him that it was probably a stomach bug because you mentioned that you felt like you were getting it.”

“Thank you for doing that even though you didn’t have to.”

“It’s okay Stiles,” she replied grabbing his hand, “you’re handling this better than anyone could imagine.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you saw me earlier today,” he stated.

“Stiles honey,” she soothed, “it’s okay to fall apart every now and then. You think I kept it together when my husband died? I was a mess and I barely got out of bed. It wasn’t until I heard that Cora had landed in the Emergency Room with a broken arm that I realised my children needed me. They were my anchor...You have been by Derek’s side even when it hurt you, and when things became overwhelming you took time to process. I assume you’re going to see him tomorrow?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“You see Stiles only a strong person would do that,” she said. “Others would let their pain consume them and wallow in it but yet you dust yourself off and you keep moving forward.”

Talia admired Stiles’ resilience; most people would have crumbled into a ball and made everything about them but Stiles showed considerable amount of concern for Derek even when it wasn’t always easy on him.

“Just promise me you’ll keep on trying,” she continued, “Stiles you should tell me if I’m asking for too much but I hope that you keep trying with him. I understand this isn’t easy on but don’t give up on my boy.”

Stiles had told her he wouldn’t and that was what he would do. It was what he was doing now as he stood in the passage of the hospital. He was going to be there for Derek- that was guaranteed. They just needed to clear the air between them first.

Stiles took in every word his father told him the day before and he knew that as risky as it was, he and Derek needed to find out where they stand with one another. They were tiptoeing around the elephant in the room which only made things more uncomfortable between them. If they were to salvage anything from this accident, then they would need to try their best.

It would hurt losing _his_ Derek, but rather that than cutting the man out of his life entirely.

“You going in or are you gonna stare at the door all day,” a voice said.

Stiles was amazed to discover his stepmother walking towards him.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” he explained giving her a hug.

“Well Stiles,” she smirked, “I do work at a hospital.”

“I know,” he laughed, “I meant that I thought you would be with Dad today.”

“I am on my way to meet your father yes but I had to check on a patient.”

“Okay,” Stiles nodded.

“Everything okay?” Melissa asked. “You seem fidgety?”

“I am not sure,” he grinned, “I’m about to do something that may hurt and I know that I will do it but yet...”

“...here you stand lurking in the hall.”

“Yes that,” he laughed.

“Stiles,” she said as she touched his face, “I love you, your father loves you, Scott loves you and you always have our support no matter what. We want nothing but the best for you kiddo.”

“I know,” he replied, looking at the photo in his hand before looking at his stepmom, “but thank you for telling me because it was precisely what I needed to hear.”

“It’s a pleasure,” she said. “What do you have in your hand?”

“Uhm,” Stiles stammered, “a picture. I am hoping to use it as a visual aid when I explain to Derek the extent of our relationship.”

“I hope you brought along my favourite picture?”

“Well seeing as it’s my favourite picture too,” he nodded.

“Great,” she smiled.

Stiles knew she was trying to hide how sad the whole situation made her. When she smiled at him it wasn’t a one that reached her eyes; it was one of those sad smiles. She quickly brightened her expression before changing the topic:

“If I don’t get going, you father is going to kill me. You promise to call later? You can come over for some dessert later if you want.”

“Thanks for the offer, “Stiles said. “I might take you up on it.”

“It will all be okay Stiles,” Melissa replied as she hugged her stepson tightly.

“Thank You.”

After his stepmother left, he didn’t waste any more time and swiftly knocked on Derek’s door waiting for a reply. He would’ve been lying if he said that he wasn’t nervous because his palms were sweaty and his heart felt like it was beating a million times a minute.

“Come in,” the voice replied.

Stiles gently squeezed the handle as he opened the door and went into Derek Hale’s room. As soon as he saw the man, his mouth felt dry and he couldn’t help but smile at the guy before him.

Derek was visibly caught off guard by his visitor.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Stiles whispered.

“No, not at all,” he responded.

“How are you doing?”

“Better,” he said. “You?”

“Good thanks.”

“That’s good.”

“Cool.”

Stiles shifted as he stood there. Both men waiting for one another to say something but no one brave enough to speak up. The silence in the room hung over them for a few seconds longer before Stiles opened his mouth.

“I uh,” he stuttered, “I came here because I wanted to talk with you.”

“Oh okay,” Derek said not expecting Stiles’ comment, “About what if you don’t mind me asking?”

“About... _us_.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “Do you want to sit down and talk? Or do you want to find some other place?”

“How do you feel?” Stiles questioned. “I imagine you’re sick of being cooped up in your room the whole time? Can you handle it?”

“Yeah,” Derek smiled, “I feel like I might go crazy in this room. I feel strong enough to do it.”

Stiles gave Derek a robe to put on before they went for a walk. Stiles suggested they go to the cafeteria and Derek agreed; it wasn’t too far from his room and in case anything went wrong, there would be doctors on hand.

The walk to the cafeteria had been an arduous one because there was so much that Stiles had wanted to say but he couldn’t. He would have to take his time and be honest, open and sincere about what he felt while also not making it seem like he was ambushing the man.

They manage to find an empty seat at the table in the corner of the room. The cafeteria was busy enough that there were enough people milling around but empty enough that it allowed them privacy. Derek had barely sat when Stiles spoke.

“I love you,” he blurted out.

Well there went that plan of not ambushing him.

Derek was stunned by the declaration. He understood that their relationship was romantic but to hear someone declare their love for you was quite a jolt to the system.

He didn’t know what else to say except the first thing that came to mind:

“Okay,” Derek replied.

It wasn’t the most eloquent response but Derek thought at least it fared better “what” or “uhm”, he knew “okay” didn’t rate better but it was all he could think of in the moment. Thankfully Stiles didn’t seem to mind too much.

“I’m sorry,” Stiles sighed. “I didn’t mean to spring that on you but we needed to talk because there is a constant awkward silence lingering between us and neither of us are sure what to make of it.”

“I thought I was imagining it,” he replied.

“Believe me you weren’t,” Stiles sighed, “but we still need to talk about it. All I ask is that you hear me out and respond afterwards. Okay?”

Derek nodded seriously.

“Derek Hale,” he nervously started, “I am in love with you. I do not just love you like a best friend or like my most beloved pet. I am happily and painfully in love with you- happily because you are often the reason why I smile or laugh aloud every day causing me great joy, painfully because even right now while it pains to be in love with you I cannot stop myself. You make my heart race when you look at me; causing me to become shy and flustered when I receive a particular look from you. Sometimes I ramble on about nonsensical things that aren’t really important and shouldn’t make sense, but yet you understand that that is how I process things. You get my sarcasm whenever l flex my sarcastic muscle and never get annoyed at me for it. It is all of these reasons and more that make me love you. “I Love You”, is not a phrase I use lightly, I thought I understood the meaning of the word, but never have I come to appreciate its meaning until you...”

Stiles tried looking at Derek while he was speaking but he just ended up glancing at the man occasionally. He felt so scared because he jumped off a cliff without a parachute and with no certainty that there was padding for his landing or if he would land safely on the ground at all. He reminded himself to breathe and calm down because his nerves he was starting to make him speak too fast.

Stiles pulled out a photo along with a wolf key chain, and placed them on the table.

“These two items are my most beloved in the world- the key chain because you got it for me on your trip to Italy even though you didn’t have to get me anything and the Polaroid picture of our first kiss that New Years Eve in December. I brought these along because I wanted to show you how much I love you,” said Stiles before looking directly as Derek. “For me it’s all of the moments that we have been fortunate to share together with no one required to fill the silence. It’s the honesty in our relationship, the open communication which so many couples struggle with.”

“I know,” he continued, “that even whenever I might feel jealous about someone else wanting your attention; it’s not something that will be an issue because you’re just being friendly. Even when I tell you about my feelings you won’t mock me or tell me that they’re unwarranted, you just come over make sure that I am looking into your eyes when you tell me that you love me because you want me to hear the meaning of the words and not just the words themselves.”

“It is all of this and many of the others things you do that make me love you as deeply as I do...”

As Stiles spoke he found the courage to gaze directly at the man. He tried searching his face for some hint of what he was thinking but Derek was perfectly pokerfaced. Stiles could tell that he was listening intently because Derek would look away for a second before returning his gaze. Stiles found out during a semester of psychology that it was one of the tics humans have. Other than that Stiles had no clue what the man was thinking.

“ _BUT_ ,” Stiles emphasised, “it is also since I love you so deeply that I understand the innumerable difficulties our current situation presents us with. Things are so complicated because not only have you been in an accident, but you have also lost your memories of the last four years. You must adjust to radical changes and make sense of things that are already so difficult for you to handle. A romance is another complication- by adding the fact that it’s a homosexual romance with someone you only saw as a friend and then things really get _fucked up_.”

Stiles hadn’t intended to swear but it just felt so wonderful to let it out. He took a breath and steadied himself before he spoke again.

“I know that this isn’t easy for you Derek,” he explained, “and that is why I want you to know that aside from my feelings for you, I will be here for you no matter what. I can accept the fact that you may never be able to see me in a romantic light but I am here to help. It won’t be easy and there will be some awkwardness and rough patches but I was reminded by my dad that before we were in a relationship, we were friends. Your friendship means so much to me because it was the stepping stone to further things. I will be here to champion you while you recover and pick up the pieces, and I will support you because that is what friends do. We fight for each other and we anchor one another whenever the other gets lost. I will be your anchor...but only if you want me to.”

Stiles had finished speaking, he sighed heavily afterwards since getting through all of that must have been extremely difficult for the man. Derek took a moment to collect himself and give Stiles a moment to catch his breath.

It was an odd experience hearing some declare their love for you, especially when it’s someone you feel platonically about. Derek didn’t have the same feelings that Stiles had for him, and after hearing how the man spoke, he felt somewhat jealous of the Derek Hale that Stiles had spoken of. He had truly loved someone who loved him as equally in return. It was something of a rarity to hear someone speak like that.

Derek knew it that took guts to do what Stiles did. He put everything out there and bared his heart and soul to the guy. Most people go about life never taking risks or doing something as brave as what Stiles has.

It was all that, which had made their predicament truly challenging. Much like Stiles had said, he already experienced so much difficulty at reconciling all the changes that had occurred and it was exhausting. Losing the last four years of his life felt like he had been picked up, dropped on a random island and been told to find his way back to Beacon Hills. He had no one to ask for directions or anyone to tell him which direction to go in.

It was a truly aggravating experience but Derek knew getting angry or upset helped no one. Everyone was just trying to help. Stiles had once again been right when he said that he would need the help of others if he was going to build a bridge between the gap of things that were and how to move forward.

It wouldn’t be easy but he would try. But if he did so, he would have to do it on his own steam with the help of others, not with others telling him were to go and him helping them. It was his life after all.

“You realise,” Derek started eventually, “that you had a whole two person conversation by yourself.”

Out of everything the Stiles expected the man to say, that was not it.

“What?” Stiles questioned.

“Basically,” he replied, “everything that I was going to say you anticipated and came up with a response for. I am not sure whether I’m impressed that you know me so well, or upset that I’m unable have my say.”

“Oh shit,” Stiles gulped, “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. It’s that otherwise I might not have had the courage to get out everything I needed to say.”

“Stiles it’s okay,” Derek said. “I can see where you’re coming from because you’ve been hurt and you’re trying to control the degree of pain you’re in. Pre-empting me was your way of stopping me from hurting you further. It is self preservation Stiles, I get it because it’s what we all do. However, can I have my turn now?”

Stiles nodded.

“Stiles,” he said, “I appreciate everything you said because I can tell that that was not easy for you. You have guts that I’m not even sure I have to do something so risky.”

“You do,” Stiles replied sincerely.

“I doubt it,” he continued, “but I’m truly sorry that I’m currently unable to reciprocate your feelings for me. I wish I had button I could press to help me remember everything I feel for you and all the memories that we have but unfortunately I can’t. The love you described sounded truly magnificent and like it was one that could power a thousand suns. I am sorry that the love you shared with me is now gone because no one should experience what you are going through. No should ever have to experience any of this but unfortunately here we sit.”

Derek could see the tears start to well up in the man’s eyes and it hurt him that he was doing this to his friend.

“I want to say thank you,” Derek responded, “because you have been honest with me and also instead of making it all about you, you have showed your concern for me by being there and helping me get through this. You were right that we are friends and if our friendship has managed to have such longevity then it is undoubtedly something special. I feel like I need all the help I can get and if I’m not asking for too much I would really appreciate it if you could explain stuff to me. You are the one person who knows most and you won’t let me get stuck on past memories but rather try to accept the past and move on with my life as much as I can. You have been by my bedside even though it must have hurt for you to be there and not force the issue of our relationship. You could’ve easily made it about you and you haven’t.”

“And these mementoes,” he finished, “the photo and key ring, are important to me too. While they may not have the same meaning to me as they do to you, it doesn’t make your memory of those moments any less important. I cannot offer you love right now, the best I can do is friendship. I feel like in the last eight years, four of which I can account for, that you’ve been a good friend to me. I understand if that will be too hard for you but I would hate to lose you from my life. I am sincerely glad to have you in my life Stiles.”

Stiles had let everything that Derek said sink in.

He had prepared himself for this; it was like Derek said: self-preservation. He wanted to control the amount of pain he endured, and in retrospect it did make what happened hurt less. Sure it still hurt but not enough to crush him.

The saying often goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger; but a variation of that also says, what doesn’t kill you sure hurts a lot, and right now he simultaneously felt like both expressions applied to him.

He wiped away the single tear drop he felt run down his cheek.

“Friends?” Derek asked after Stiles had been quiet for a while.

“Friends,” he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not misty-eyed as I wrote this *blinks away tears*   
> I hope you love the chapter because so far this is a favourite of mine.   
> Me: www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com  
> Title: The Scientist – Coldplay  
> I didn’t intend for these past two chapters to have Coldplay songs as titles but they managed to be this wonderful bookend to each other. The chapters get to work together in ways I didn’t anticipate but such are the wonders of writing.  
>  “Nobody said it was easy, but no one ever said it would be this hard. Oh, take me back to the start.”


	7. Things We Lost in the Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this chapter. All errors are my own.

The first few days of their newly established “friends” dynamic had been a bit difficult for Stiles but for the most part he handled it well. Sure his feelings for Derek were still there but that was to be expected; he just found a way to cope.

“What’s that?” Derek asked as Stiles came into his room, carrying photos in hand.

“So as your _friend_ ,” Stiles began, “I am here to help you with stuff that you wanted to ask but haven’t had anyone to ask, like the awkward stuff and the stuff you missed that everyone’s been embarrassed to tell you. Okay?”

“What if I want to know stuff about you that’s embarrassing?” Derek challenged.

“Like I _ever_ do anything embarrassing,” Stiles guffawed.

Derek just gave Stiles a blank stare.

“Well then,” Stiles smirked, “your loss. No one told you to get your memory zapped.”

“Wow,” Derek replied. “Your sympathy warms my heart.”

“Cry me a river,” Stiles retorted.

If Stiles was being honest, it felt a bit weird to be joking with Derek about all of this but the alternative was way more morbid and a lot more difficult to manage. This was part of their getting-past-the-awkwardness phase; they manage to playfully crack jokes about everything that happened while being careful not to overlook the seriousness of their situation.

Stiles had designed a plan to tackle certain topics on certain days to make sure that Derek got the best overall education on the last four years. The first two days was mostly current affairs and other threads of random information like music and movies. Stiles had felt that it would have been remiss of him not to include the evolution of music and movies over the last few years.

In the start he gingerly touched the rise of marriage equality, in hopes of avoiding awkwardness, but spoke in details about the rise in school shootings and gun control debates. He brought newspapers along and let Derek page through them.

He also brought up how indie-pop music taken hold in the cultural zeitgeist bringing forth awesome bands like Bastille, Imagine Dragons, Lorde and The Neighbourhood into the musical mainstream but also discussing electronic dance music’s evolution into the gargantuan force it is today.

He educated Derek about the rise of Marvel as the premium comic book movies company while DC had the upper hand in television. He explained the decline in romantic comedies and the rise of young adult adaptations, even going into a rant about how some book series unnecessarily split the last book into two so the studios could get more money.

The first two days had been part of a stalling tactic on Stiles’ part because he knew that talking about the sentimental personal stuff would be hard on them both and he needed to be mentally prepared before he had to speak about intimate moments without getting choked up. It was for the very reason why he had picked out photos to bring along for their third day. He had meticulously planned it with the help of his brother and Allison so that if something had gotten too close to comfort he knew how to handle it.

“So,” Stiles started, “you want to chill here or our usual place of the cafeteria?”

“You know that I’m practically held hostage in this room, our time in the cafeteria is one of the few bright spots of my day.”

Stiles reacted to that, but he quickly cleared his expression before Derek saw.

Sometimes the man would say stuff like that and be unaware of the effect he had on Stiles. It wasn’t on purpose but it still didn’t stop Stiles from occasionally lingering on the unleashed words.

A few minutes later, after grabbing coffee, they were settled into their spot at the cafeteria as everyone else milled around. After they had “the talk”, Stiles made sure that they found another seat in the cafeteria.

“I’ll start with the basic,” Stiles said as he placed a photo down in front of Derek.

Derek spat out his coffee, “Why am I in a fire-fighter uniform?”

“Technically it’s Sexy Fire-fighter uniform,” Stiles corrected, “or if you ask Laura she called it a slutty fire-fighter uniform because of how all the men and women at the party were fawning over you abs and propositioning you with offers to ‘slide down your pole’.

The colour had drained from Derek’s face.

“Was I blackmailed into this?” he deadpanned.

“Unfortunately not,” Stiles laughed, “you did that of your own free will. Lydia and Jackson were having a Halloween party and we were too busy to get our own costumes so we sent Laura and Cora to get it.”

“That explains everything,” Derek smirked. “What did you go as?”

“As variation of Steve Urkel,” Stiles pursed. “They thought the contradiction of us showing up together was hysterical.”

“Please tell me you have a photo of that,” Derek laughed.

Stiles slowly pulled the photograph out and slid it across it Derek, who then turned the photo over and couldn’t believe his eyes. He burst out laughing so loud he got a few stares from the other people in the cafeteria.

“Oh wow,” Derek said.

“I should have burned the photo while I had the chance,” Stiles groaned.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Derek chuckled, “this is great.”

“Says the guy in a sexy fire-fighter uniform.”

“I would have gladly gone as Steve Urkel any day,” Derek retorted.

“Yeah right,” Stiles sighed.

“To be fair though,” Derek continued, “you are rocking the bowtie and cardigan.”

“Try managing thee most uncomfortable wedgie in living history,” Stiles argued, “my suspenders made my already high pants, ride up even higher. My underwear knew me _too_ intimately that.”

“Still better than drunken people drooling over, as they supposedly did.”

“Fair enough,” Stiles conceded.

“If this is what you’re starting with then I am worried about what’s to follow,” Derek sighed.

“So I guess now would be great time for me to bring up that Matrix outfit for Halloween outfit...”

“Tell me you’re lying,” Derek smiled.

“If only I was Neo, if only I was.”

They continued sitting in the cafeteria for the rest of the morning going over stories and events and significant things that Derek missed out on. They laughed and joked but they also gotten onto some serious stories. It was an odd experience because sometimes the smallest detail would have such an impact on Derek. He often hid his feelings behind his facial expressions, occasionally letting something slip and Stiles couldn’t help but feel sad. As they had been reflecting on the last few years, Derek brought up how his family would speak about things but forget that he didn’t remember them at all.

“Do you know what the last thing you remember is?” Stiles found himself ask.

He had been so interested in what Derek had said, that he found himself asking the question before he had even realised.

“If you’re asking about the crash then I remember nothing,” Derek started, taking a sip of his coffee, “the first thing I remember was the sound of someone moving around my hospital bed and then shining a light in my eyes.”

Stiles felt a chill run down his back at that.

“That must have been very disorientating.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “It was.”

“What about your very last memory before it goes blank?”

“Oh,” Derek paused, “I haven’t even thought of that...”

Stiles noticed that he was taking a moment to go through his thoughts and figure out what the last thing he could recall was.

“I think it was Kate and I going cake tasting,” he finally admitted. “Kate had been saying that she didn’t want us being one of those couples who left the cake tasting for too late so we have gone far in advance trying out different places.”

Stiles couldn’t help but have imagine what it would have been like if the two of them had gone on their cake tasting. He could feel a lump form in the back of his throat but quickly cleared his throat.

“Sounds like fun,” Stiles smiled.

“The first two times sure,” he laughed, “the fourth and fifth times not so much.”

“Well at least you won’t have to go through that again,” Stiles hedged.

“You can say that again.”

* * *

“Oh wow,” Stiles gaped. “You did all this for me?”

“Well seeing as how it’s been a rough week,” Melissa said, “we all felt like it was time to forget about the bad and have a little fun.”

Everyone was well aware of what had been going on with Stiles and wanted to surprise him with a little get-together. Talia had taken to contacting his brother and Melissa Stilinki to help organise Stiles’ surprise party. Talia was happy after seeing the smile on the young man’s face Stiles.

“Wow,” Stiles smiled. “Thank you everyone, this rocks.”

“We are really glad that you are surprised,” Talia smiled.

“I am... uhm... flabbergasted.”

“That’s a first,” his dad commented.

“Funny one dad,” he deadpanned, as Melissa also playfully nudged her husband in the ribs.

Everyone laughed at the exchange between the Stilinkis.

“But seriously though, you have no idea how much this means to me.”

“You have no idea how much you mean to us,” Lydia piped up.

“Lydia!!” he squealed, giving his friend a hug. “When did you get back?”

“Early this morning,” she smiled. “I was going to call but Scott got me first.”

“I am so glad to see you,” he smiled tears welling up.

“Me too,” she smiled, hugging him.

“How about we get this party started?” Isaac suggested.

“Absolutely!” Cora added.

Everyone laughed before the music returned and they all broke into their own groups. The music worked wonderfully to underscore the conversations and set the ambience for the night. Stiles returned his attention to Lydia as they made their way to the kitchen.

“Where’s Jackson?”

“He got a last minute Paris contract so he jetted off,” she replied

“Oh, the life of a model,” Stiles laughed. “I have no clue how you two make it work in between your busy schedules.”

“We make time,” she smiled, “it’s not always easy but we never let the work become more important.”

“I’ll be sure to add that to the Lydia Martin handbook on being successful and maintaining a long lasting relationship.”

“I better get my royalties,” she sassed.

Stiles couldn’t believe how she and Jackson manage to make it work. She was one of the top lawyers in the country often being required to fly all over the place because people were willing to fly her out for her services. Jackson was a top earning model so the two of them were well-off and as in love as the day they got together. Sure there were a few bumps along the way as they nearly broke up when Lydia stopped pretending to be play dumb for Jackson sake but he got past it and realised how fortunate he was to have her in his life.

10 years later they were still going strong. Stiles was glad to have his friend with him as she was usually the one he spoke to whenever he had a issue. She had been stuck in New York and then Miami while Stiles was dealing with the fallout of Derek’s crash. He had been keeping her updated and speaking to her via email, Danny too actually.

“Danny still in Europe?”

“Well seeing as Ethan surprised him for their one year anniversary,” she smiled, “who can blame him for wanting to take full advantage of the trip.”

Stiles couldn’t help that in the last four years so many of their friends had gotten married; Laura, Peter, Lydia, Danny and Scott too. When he had been going over it with Derek earlier it had truly hit him that he was the last of their friends to be getting married, aside from Isaac. Cora and Isaac had been going steady so Stiles wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up getting hitched one day too.

Stiles wondered if he hadn’t waited so long to propose then maybe this wouldn’t have happened but if it did he was sure that it might have hurt more than what it was, and his current situation was extremely painful.

The rest of the night passed by swiftly with everyone making sure they talked to him. Jokes were made, drinks were drunk and food was consumed. Stiles enjoyed it because it managed to get his mind off Derek, have him relax and have fun with friends and family. He had been sitting quietly watching everyone enjoy themselves when Talia Hale sat down beside him.

“I know that this is supposed to be about you not thinking about the heartbreaking situation you find yourself in with my son but I want to know, how has it going?”

Stiles saw the motherly concern in her eyes. He couldn’t blame her for wanting to find out how Derek was doing because whenever she asked him he probably gave her an edited and glossed up version in order to protect his mother’s feelings.

Stiles knew this because they had done that on occasion in their relationship, particularly when Cora had a serious fender bender but they hadn’t told Talia about its seriousness. She had found out eventually but that was because Cora eventually confessed.

“It’s going okay,” Stiles replied, “sometimes there’s a sadness in his eyes when he realised that he missed the birthing of his nieces and nephews and that he doesn’t remember them but he seems to be okay for the most part.”

“When I ask him how it’s been going, he just smiles and says that he is learning a lot.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t want you to see how frustrated or annoyed he sometimes feels about learning things he used to know but doesn’t. I try not to overwhelm him but he asks questions then I’ll say something that might least to another question and so it goes.”

“I am truly glad he has someone like you to help him Stiles,” she smiled, gingerly touching his face.

“The things we do for loved ones,” he answered with a weak smiled.

Stiles excused himself from her company not long after because he needed some air. He was glad that everyone wanted to know how he was and talk to him but he was beginning to feel overwhelmed. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Scott found him sitting outside on the fire escape.

“What you doing out here?” Scott asked when he found his brother.

“I just needed to clear my head,” Stiles smiled. “It’s been a crazy couple of days…feels like I’m on a rollercoaster except I can’t tell if it’s a sudden turn or drop that awaits me.”

“I can imagine,” Scott replied.

Scott could help but gentle squeeze his brother’s shoulder.

“What do you have in your hands there?”

Stiles held up the black box high in the palm of his hand so his brother could see.

“Is that-”

“Yip.”

“And you’ve had it all thi-”

“Yip.”

“Wow,” Scott sighed.

“Are you going to tell him about it?”

“What’s the point?” Stiles shrugged. “We just recently managed to find our footing in re-establishing our friendship and besides it will make him just feel guilty.”

“I understand,” Scott said. “Do you at least have any clue what you’re going to do with it?”

“Nope,” stiles replied popping the P at the end.

Both men let the calm of the night sky settle around them and gain their attention.

“Where was it?”

“It was in my jacket pocket,” he said, “After you brought me a change of clothes I just kept my jacket. I found it this morning before I went to see Derek. I brought it with me. I wasn’t sure why, maybe as good luck charm or something? Silly, I know...”

Scott watched as his brother turned the black box over in his hand repeatedly.

“Do you want to return to the party?” Scott asked after a minute. “If not I can always say you’re feeling sick and everyone can go.”

“Thanks but its okay,” Stiles replied. “I needed some air but I think I need a little distraction from my own thoughts right now, and laughing and smiling with friends is exactly what I need.”

“Then, lead the way my liege,” Scott smiled.

As they returned to the party, Stiles couldn’t help but notice the song that was playing background music to the relaxed party. It was Bastille’s Things We Lost in the Fire and after his day with Derek it had been so relevant.

They had gone over memories of the last four years and things from their relationship but all of that had been lost to the metaphorical fire that was his accident. He had been feeling a bit better than the previous days but his mind lingered on the black box burning a hole in his pocket. It was meant to represent the future but it was just another one of the things they lost in the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in this chapter. I have been working on my manuscript, and moving and wanting to let the events of the last chapter simmer for a bit.   
> If you don’t know Steve Urkel, I am sorry your childhood was less awesome than it should have been. 90's kids had it good.  
> Me: www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com  
> Title: Things We Lost in the Fire - Bastille.  
> Dan Smith from Bastille is such a cutie, and he has an awesome voice. Interesting info: his parents are also from South Africa like me.


	8. Touch My Body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback time. I felt like a flashback to a happier time was needed. Things ended up very explicit so if you want to skip that part stop reading at 2 July 2012.

25 April 2012

 

“Are you sure about this?”

“Derek,” Stiles sighed. “I am super duper quadruple-y sure about this. It’s you that has to be sure, if we’re moving too quickly then you don’t have to do it.”

“Stiles,” he said, grasping his boyfriend’s neck,” I am super duper infinitely sure about this.”

“Cause if you’re not,” Stiles said, being purposefully obtuse, “I can always find myself a strapping hot young man to share the rent with me.”

“Do that and I will remove his head,” Derek growled.

They were relaxing together in Stiles and Scott’s apartment; except now Scott was moving out. He had announced that he and Allison were going to move in together which left Stiles with a decision that he had to make. He and Derek had been dating for two years, and so it seemed like this would be the perfect chance to take a risk and elevate their relationship to the next level. Stiles had been scared to bring it up, but because he loved Derek, he knew it was something that he wanted to do.

Stiles had felt immeasurable relief when Derek had accepted the offer.

“Now you’re making the offer sound even more tantalising,” Stiles teased.

“Stiles,” Derek said, looking the young man dead in the eyes, “I love you, and I want to move in with you. Do you hear me?”

“I hear you,” Stiles nodded.

Derek fiercely kissed his boyfriend, hoping that he made his point explicitly clear. Stiles could feel his skin tingle wherever Derek touched him. There was warmth and strength in his touch that made Stiles feel at ease and relaxed.

Stiles deepened the kiss, placing his hands around Derek’s neck. He always got lost in Derek whenever he kissed him; his heart would race, his palms would get sweaty and his underwear always started feeling like a death-trap.

Derek lifted Stiles up and walked them over to the couch.

Stiles reluctantly broke the kiss, inhaling deeply because he had forgotten to breathe.

“I don’t get how you keep doing that?” he rasped.

“Doing what,” Derek whispered, resting his head against Stiles’.

“Make me break our kiss first,” Stiles smiled. “Whenever I kiss you, I forget to breathe and you never stop our kisses. It’s always me. Do you take a deep breath before you’re going to kiss me? Is It all a part of your plan?”

“You are all I need,” Derek replied, holding Stiles’ face, “Breathing becomes the second most important thing to me when I’m with you. You mean everything to me- I’m with you and you become my oxygen. You fill my lungs with love and every time I kiss you I become intoxicated.”

“Wow,” Stiles sighed, “you make me want to give up breathing.”

“Well don’t,” Derek laughed. “I want you to be alive and healthy. You elevate my life to higher plane and it’s all because you are who you are.”

“I feel the same,” Stiles replied. “It’s one of the many reasons why I love you.”

“Well, I love you too.”

Stiles reclaimed Derek’s lips and continued kissing. Derek started kissing his way down the man’s neck, pulling his shirt off in the process. Stiles felt his way underneath Derek’s shirt, feeling the muscles underneath his grasp. It didn’t take long before the Hale man lost his shirt too.

Their skin to skin contact only heightened their sensations. Derek gingerly kissed Stiles’ skin, snaking his way down to the young man’s treasure trail when they the swift unlocking and opening of the apartment door. They didn’t have enough time to register what was happening until Scott came into the room with Isaac.

“Why are neither of you answering your-” he started before freezing.

“Oh that explains-” Isaac started.

Both men sagged as they realised that the entry of their friends had killed their sexy time; Derek’s face was resting against Stiles abdomen, while Stiles his head hanging on the couch arm in defeat.

“Hi Scott,” Stiles grumbled.

“If we knew that you were about to get-”

“It’s okay,” Derek sighed.

“Seriously?” Isaac started, “Because if I was about to get busy with it and I was really in the mood then to have that moment suddenly vanish on the cusp on when it was about to get extremely steamy I would be-”

“Frustrated,” Stiles snapped.

“Uh...yeah,” Isaac awkwardly smiled.

“We’re okay,” Derek replied.

Derek moved from Stiles’ abdomen and kissed his boyfriend on his lips once last time before they settled themselves on the sofa reluctantly picking up their t-shirts. Soon they were both facing the new arrivals.

“What can we do you for?” Derek continued.

“The reason why we’ve been trying to get through to you was for Allison’s surprise party?”

“Yeah,” Isaac started, “Lydia sent both of us over to make sure that you remembered to bring the cake and gift bags.”

“She sent both of you over her?” Stiles quizzed.

“Yeah” Scott replied sounding unsure.

“You realise this is Lydia we’re talking about,” Stiles replied, “She did this to get you out of her way because you were probably annoying her didn’t she?”

“You try being a slave to Miss Perfectionist,” Isaac relented, “We moved the banner four times before she was happy, and the table that was in the centre of the room had to be moved three times as well...”

“And don’t even get us started on the helium balloons,” Scott sighed, “she wanted it to be proportional number of blue, pink and purple balloons to each of the guests that she had assigned a colour to.”

“Why didn’t she just hire an event planner?” Derek asked.

“She would’ve had Scott told her about the surprise party sooner,” Stiles replied.

Stiles had to listen to an ear full of it as Lydia ranted about the impromptu planning of Allison’s surprise birthday party. She was not impressed with how sloppily Scott was organising it so she overtook the planning of the party arrangements. Stiles barely batted an eye when Lydia showed up the night before dropping of the gift bags she organised; leave it to Lydia to organise gift bags in the span of a day while still working. She had left the bags in Scott’s room since he barely slept in it.

“I don’t know how Jackson stands it,” Scott replied.

“It helps that he is a perfectionist too,” Isaac added, “and that he loves Lydia with his whole heart.”

“Crazy little thing called love,” Derek smiled, catching Stiles’ attention.

Stiles felt his pulse pick up when Derek smiled that him, playfully biting his lip. It took every fibre of his being not to rip off the man’s clothes. Not only was Stiles sexually frustrated, he had so close to having amazing sex with Derek before it was interrupted. His only consolidation was the fact that since Derek was moving in; he would get sex with increasing frequency.

“So you had no truly legitimate reason for being here?”

“Well,” Isaac pursed, “I wouldn’t put it in that exact way...”

“We can go if you want?”

“It’s all good,” Derek replied.

They two men closed the front door and headed straight for the refrigerator where Scott pulled out leftover pizza from the night before. They soon overtook the place, putting on music and sitting down in front of the TV about to play on the PlayStation.

“Times like these,” Stiles whispered, “are when I want to kill my brother.”

“While I’m not his biggest fan at the moment,” Derek smiled, “he is still better than Laura.”

“Touché.”

“Besides,” Derek teased, “I’ll gladly make up for our interruption when you’ll be screaming my name in euphoria later.”

Stiles couldn’t help but smirk at that before replying, “Not if I make you scream first.”

“I can’t wait to see you try.”

* * *

2rd July 2012

 

Stiles stood innocently beside the sofa waiting for Derek to return from work. He had called Stiles when he was 5 minutes away from their new home asking him if there was anything Stiles’ needed from the shop. It was the Monday after Derek had moved in and Stiles wanted to surprise his boyfriend.

“Welcome home,” Stiles said after Derek closed the door behind him. “You like?”

Derek was flabbergasted.

“Derek, use your words.”

“I love you,” Derek replied.

Stiles couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“I love you too,” he replied, “but I would love it more if you came over here and _showed_ me how much you loved me.”

Stiles was standing with bare ass naked in front of Derek. He got the idea earlier and when Derek called him, it gave him enough time to undress and present himself.

The look on Derek’s face made everything worthwhile for Stiles; he was totally surprised. Derek put down his bag and slowly walked over to where Stiles stood. He came to a standstill before Stiles, admiring the naked man before him.

He slowly took hold of Stiles’ hands and stepped closer until they were chest to chest. Derek rested his head against Stiles, gently nuzzling against Stiles’ nose.

“After the crap day I’ve had,” Derek replied, “you made my day become amazing. Thank You.”

“I am sorry you had a crappy day.”

Stiles started kissing his boyfriend, Derek moved his hands to behind Stiles’ back.

“Chocolate?” Stiles asked, when he broke their kiss.

“I just finished mine,” he smiled, “I bought you one though, it’s in my bag.”

Stiles laughed, “We’ll get around to the chocolate later.”

Derek removed his shoes and started unbuttoning his shirt and pants as Stiles directed them to the bedroom. Derek soon stood naked in front of his partner.

“I should have said this when I first saw you,” Derek replied, “but you are absolutely beautiful.”

“Right back at you,” Stiles finished as he hungrily attacked Derek’s lips.

The Hale man gripped his boyfriend firmly, letting his hands drift down to grope Stiles’ irresistible ass. Stiles broke their kiss, and pushed Derek onto the bed. He lowered himself slowly on top of Derek, kissing his chest before kissing his lips again. It didn’t take long until both of their bodies were grinding up against each other.

Stiles’ mouth was soon covering Derek’s nipple as playfully nipped and licked the sensitive area; all of which caused Derek to moan. He winked Derek before he moved the other nipple. Derek loved every second of attention his body was receiving from Stiles’ mouth.

Stiles felt something nudge his leg and when he looked down, he saw it was Derek’s member notifying him of its existence. He diverted his attention away from Derek’s nipple and situated himself between the man’s legs.

He first licked the head, watching how the single act made Derek tremble before he placed it into his mouth. Stiles gave the shaft his full attention, moving up and down with a steady pace before he deep-throated Derek’s member.

He loved how whenever he would do this, Derek always moan and groaned freely. Pleasing the man he loved caused him pleasure. Derek couldn’t believe how amazing Stiles’ mouth felt on his member. He reluctantly pulled his boyfriend off; to prohibit their bedroom fun from ending abruptly.

He quickly kissed the man, before he flipped them around, causing Stiles to lie down on the bed. He took one of his fingers and put it into Stiles’ mouth, then did the same with another before he gingerly inserted both into the man’s ass.

He worked Stiles’ hole over until he was writhing on the bed.

“That is great and all but please...”

“I understand,” Derek smiled.

Derek quickly pulled out the lube from the bedside drawer and poured some onto his fingers before reinserting them into Stiles. He heard Stiles moan at the entry pushing back onto his fingers. He generously applied some lube onto his own member before he nestled closer to Stiles. He slowly entered man, not meeting much resistance until they were perfectly fit together.

“That feels so good,” Stiles moaned.

“I haven’t even started yet,” Derek quipped.

“Don’t be cocky,” Stiles smiled.

“I’ll be as cocky as I want to be,” Derek winked with a firm thrust.

Soon Stiles enjoyed every single sensation he felt, the heat radiating off Derek and the power he used with each thrust, and the kisses Derek would play on his body. It was exhilarating. Derek changed up the tempo from fast to slow, and vice versa, which drove Stiles crazy.

Stiles couldn’t help but moan, “I...don’t... want...”

Derek immediately stopped, “What?”

Stiles sobered somewhat from the sudden stop, “I meant... I don’t want you to stop...”

“Next time,” Derek sighed, “please finish that sentence.”

“I can’t promise anything,” Stiles replied kissing his boyfriend, “because you make me feel so good that, I lose the ability to speak.”

“You do?” Derek smirked, with a tentative thrust.

Stiles felt the movement hit his prostate and he groaned.

“If you...do that one more time,” Stiles rasped, “and stop after one thrust, I’ll make you regret it.”

“You will?” Derek cocked an eyebrow.

Stiles knew that Derek had a weak spot, he tickled the spot causing Derek’s one arm to collapse and in one swift move repositioned themselves so that he could straddle the man. He barely wasted a second before he continued their motions and they were back in the heat of things. Stiles rode Derek with such vigour that soon Derek was moaning loudly.

His moans climbed louder with each enthusiastic thrust. Stiles loved seeing Derek like that, it proved to him that he could be the cause of such pleasure. Derek began sitting up, ready to wrap his hands around Stiles, but the younger man pushed his lover back into the bed and slowed down the pace.

Soon each thrust became deliberately slow and this drove Derek crazy. Stiles himself felt like dick was the hardest it had ever been, but he had a point to prove and even if he died from unfulfilled orgasmic release then he would die with the satisfaction of having proven his point.

“Now,” he started, his voice thick, “you see how annoying this is.”

All Derek could do was whimper. Stiles increased the pace before suddenly stopping.

“I said do you-”

“Yes,” Derek growled. “I promise to never do it again just keep going.”

Stiles picked up where he left off, somehow driving both men to the edge a lot quicker than they anticipated.

“I’m gonna come,” Stiles.

“Me too!!”

“Argh,” both men yelled, managing the nearly impossible and climaxing simultaneously. Stiles shot his load with such force that he felt dizzy. Derek had also experienced a similarly intense orgasm that he could barely move.

Stiles could feel the aftershocks of his orgasm as he let his body lay on top of Derek.

“Uh...”

“Wow.”

“That was...”

“We’ve always had great sex but that was...”

“Earth shattering,” Derek smiled.

“Yip,” Stiles laughed.

“If I knew that living with you would feel so good, I would have done it sooner.”

“Ditto,” Stiles laughed.

Stiles stayed in place for a minute longer before he got up, and went into the bathroom to clean himself off; when he returned he brought with wipes for Derek.

“Sorry I messed on you,” Stiles blushed.

“I think you should do it more often,” Derek replied, wiping off his stomach.

After disposing of the wipes, Stiles returned to his boyfriend side where they curled up together. Stiles loved the feeling of Derek’s chest behind his back. He loved how secure he felt in Derek’s arms. It was the first place he woke up, and the last place he went to bed.

“I should mind being the small spoon but I don’t,” Stiles mumbled.

“Well I love being the big spoon,” Derek replied, drowsily kissing Stiles’ neck, “there is no greater feeling that having you in my arms, knowing that you are safely beside me and always near my heart. I love you Stiles.”

“I love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying the retrospectives that are sprinkled in throughout the fic.   
> I will use them selectively. I don’t ever think sex is a bad thing and I was worried that this was just a throwaway sex chapter but there is an intimacy in that I wanted to explore. I think it’s so interesting seeing the level of intimacy Stiles and Derek had, compared to how frigid they are now. I will chronicle more intimate couple moments, not just sex, in subsequent flashbacks.   
> Gripe: Penis is such an unsexy word. I had to find alternative for it because every time I did it made everything sound so clinical -sigh- And this is coming from a guy.  
> Me: www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com  
> Title: Touch My Body – Mariah Carey  
> The song is quite generic and cheesy but such fun. Also Mariah, while a diva, is one crazy good singer.


	9. Tightrope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Errors are my Own. Enjoy.

“Now I wanted to have you here,” Deaton began, “because Derek’s ready to be dismissed from the hospital but before I do that I’m concerned about where he is going to stay?”

Stiles received a call from Talia saying that the doctor wanted to talk about Derek’s recovery. He was thankful that she wanted him with because legally speaking he didn’t have a right to be there. He was just the boyfriend, not the spouse. Stiles didn’t linger on the thought for too long because it stung when he dwelled on it.

“Well,” Stiles started, “Derek’s been living with me for the past two years, but since he is recovering from an accident I am not sure whether you want him to be with you Talia?”

“I certainly wouldn’t mind having him home,” Talia replied, “but I want what’s best for his recovery, not me. What do you recommend Dr Deaton?”

“While it would make it easier for him to be in familiar settings,” Dr Deaton answered, “in my professional opinion it would be better if Derek gets back into his regular routine as quickly as possible. Fromm past experience, it has been shown that other patients in similar situations to Derek, sometimes regain their memory because of their return to their routine-”

“Is that a possibility?” Stiles asked before he could stop himself.

“Yes,” Dr Deaton continued, “but be advised that those are individual cases. No one patient will react in the exact same way. Derek may gain his memory back, he might remember bits and pieces or he may never gain it back. It’s unsure how it all may turn out but it’s still in his best interest if he goes back to his routine.”

Stiles and Talia sat in silence, letting everything that Dr Deaton said sink in. Stiles breathed deeply. Talia turned towards Stiles, taking his hands into hers.

“I am not sure what to do Stiles,” she started, “the mother in me wants him home but I understand everything Dr Deaton has said and I agree, he needs to get back to his routine and that is with you.”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I would not mind Derek living with me but I think it would be better to find out how he feels about it. It might be okay to say yes and agree but if he isn’t on board with it I fear it may do more harm than good.”

“I understand,” Talia replied, “Is it okay is we do that Doctor? Find out what Derek wants?”

“Well sure,” Dr Deaton replied. “We can certainly do that, I was about to start my rounds so you can come with me and we can have this all resolved.”

They quickly rose and exited Dr Deaton’s office, following behind the doctor. Stiles felt so nervous that he fidgeted the entire time that they walked to Derek’s room.

“You know,” Talia replied, “you are quite thoughtful and considerate. I applaud you for putting Derek’s well-being first.”

“It’s what everyone else would do,” he shrugged.

“You underestimate how noble you are Stiles,” she said. “I just want to say thank you.”

Talia leaned over and quickly gave him a kiss on the forehead as they reach Derek’s room. Doctor Deaton stepped aside as he let Talia and Stiles enter the room first. Derek was sitting on his bed busy scrolling on his iPad Mini.

“I see you are still taken with your iPad?” Stiles smiled.

“This was still the rage when it came out in 2010,” Derek answered, “I can’t believe it has gotten smaller and how much things have changed. “

“It’s crazy how technology has changed things,” Deaton laughed, “it’s a change I have to deal with on a daily basis.”

“I can imagine,” Derek replied. “Stiles has educated me on some of the changes and he brought the iPad so that I could find out stuff on my own. It’s like a never ending rabbit hole.”

“So long as you’re not overworking yourself,” Dr Deaton warned.

“I am being careful,” he replied. “You don’t need to worry Dr Deaton I am getting enough sleep, exercising and not doing anything drastic.”

“That is actually part of the reason why we’re here,” Deaton said, “we wanted to ask how you would feel about going home?”

“Seriously,” Derek uttered, “I get to go home?”

“Yes,” he smiled, “but before that happens we wanted to discuss your living arrangements before you get discharged.”

“Why? Am I not going to be living on my own?”

“Living on your own is not a viable option at this time,” Dr Deaton replied.

“So I am going to be living with my mother then?” Derek questioned.

“That is a possibility,” the Dr replied, “but in my medical opinion it is best to return to your regular routine, to your life before your accident.”

“Oh okay,” Derek nodded, “Which means?”

“You sold your apartment and moved in with Stiles,” Talia offered. “You have been living with Stiles for the past two years Derek.”

“Oh.”

Stiles had been standing to one side of the room, listening to the conversation and waiting nervously for what Derek would say. Stiles was watching Derek, seeing him process this bit of news. He felt bad because he should’ve mentioned that they moved in and been living together for two years but Stiles tried hard to steer clear of any coupley stuff.

And if he was being honest, it was easier avoiding talking about them than addressing the specifics of their relationship. He and Derek had reached an understanding; he said that he would be a friend and that he would tell him everything he missed out but Stiles wasn’t sure if he intentionally omitted that bit of information or if he subconsciously didn’t want to jeopardise the fragile dynamic they had established.

From the looks of it, this recent development definitely rocked the boat.

“How do you feel about this?” Derek asked looking at Stiles.

“Uh,” he stammered, “I’m honestly okay with it, I just wanted you to figure out how you feel about it. You are the one who has to be comfortable.”

“We really just want what’s in your best interest Derek,” his mother said.

“Well,” he Derek started, “while moving back home would give me the benefit of tasting your amazing cooking mom. I think that moving in with Stiles would be best... I mean besides it will be like we’re roommates more than anything else right?”

“Uhm, yeah,” he faintly smiled. “Just like college roommates.”

“Yeah,” Derek replied. “I’m sure it might be difficult but otherwise I’m sure we’re going to be fine right?”

“Yeah.”

Stiles couldn’t believe that this was happening. He was going live with his would-be husband who doesn’t remember their relationship, as roommates. He took a deep breath. He knew that he had to prepare himself because whatever was ahead for them was not going to be easy.

“So it’s settled then?” Dr Deaton asked.

“Looks that way,” Talia said.

“Good.”

“How soon before he gets discharged Dr Deaton?” Talia enquired.

“Well tomorrow night at the earliest.”

“That’s great,” Derek smiled. “I was getting sick of these walls.”

“I knew you’d be glad to hear that.”

“Derek, I do want you to remember though that you will have to take it easy. And I expect you to come back your regular check-ups okay?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “Will do.”

“If you’ll excuse me,” Dr Deaton replied, “If I don’t start get around to my other patients, I’ll be playing catch up for the rest of the day.”

Stiles was surprised by how suddenly things had happened. He knew that Derek would come out of the hospital, he just didn’t realise that it would occur like this.

Stiles was happy that Derek was getting out the hospital, but it caused him anxiety when though about how they would be with one another when they lived together. Stiles had been surprised by how well he and Derek had gotten along these last few days; they smiled, they joked and laughed and it felt natural.

What Stiles didn’t let Derek see was that it was a lot harder for him than he made it look. The man that he was in love with was sitting in front of him and they were both happy about that. Stiles had to constantly stop himself whenever he felt that he was enjoying their time together too much. He couldn’t indulge in that because then it would cause him to have hope, and after everything Derek had said, he knew it was a waste of time to hope for something more.

If only he could tell his heart to stop loving Derek and move on. Stiles desperately wished that love worked that way but it didn’t- you can’t help who you love.

He had been so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear Talia Hales speaking to him.

“You okay Stiles?”

“Uh...yeah,” he replied.

“You sure?” she questioned.

“Just thinking about work is all,” he lied. “I got an email from the head of my department yesterday. Administrative stuff I have to complete for the university.”

“What?” Derek said. “You work at the university?”

“What you thought that I was unemployed?” Stiles smiled refocusing on the present. “I put in all my saved leave when you landed in this fine establishment. It was just an email reminding me that my curriculum for the upcoming academic year has to be submitted by Friday.”

“I didn’t know that you were a lecturer,” Derek answered, tilting his head.

“Stiles lectures a fun course in Modern Literature,” Talia added.

“Modern Literature?”

“Many of the kids started lobbying for the English Department to introduce a modern literature course. They appreciated the Classical Literature and Language course but they wanted something that discussed modern books. No one else in the department was willing to give it go but I managed to convince them. So you have your Harry Potter, your Steven King novels and since there are so many adaptations of modern books I get a bit of leeway by adding in a film or two every so often.”

“Sounds different,” Derek replied.

“Yeah,” Stiles laughed, “I didn’t have many fans in the department who said I was committing sacrilege but once the course started making the department a tone of money, I was allowed to continue.”

“I’ve sat in a few lectures myself,” Talia smiled, “and it’s quite something to witness. You should see how the girls watch Stiles with lustful eyes. Especially when he brings in Shakespeare and then shows them how it’s rippled throughout their modern culture.”

“Your mother is exaggerating,” Stiles blushed.

“If only I was,” Talia laughed.

“I would love to stay,” Stiles laughed, “but I have to meet Scott, my Dad and Melissa for some family time.”

“Well enjoy,” Talia replied. “I’ll call you later to check-in okay?”

“Thanks,” Stiles replied, placing a gentle peck on her cheek. “I might come around later Derek, if not then I will definitely see you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Derek replied. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Stiles replied closing the door behind him.

Derek was left feeling odd at the recent revelation about Stiles. He had been speaking to the man daily for the last couple of days, and while he sure knew a lot about popular culture and general information, he suddenly saw the man that Stiles had become and not just the person he knew him to be.

Stiles was a well-liked lecturer at a university; he had a job and was apparently very good at what he did. Derek had suddenly seen what losing the last four years of his life had done. He had experienced moment like that before, but it was never as intense as it was now. Stiles had changed over the last four years and when he started speaking about his work, he nearly seemed unrecognisable to Derek.

He couldn’t help but feel a twinge in his stomach.

“And that look?” his mother said pulling him from his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“You got very quiet and you’re eyebrows are furrowed which means you are having one of your thoughts,” Talia responded. “From what I can see, it clearly has to be about Stiles so let me see behind the fortress of your mind.”

“You just didn’t even try being subtle about that?” Derek laughed.

“I’m your mother,” Talia smiled, “I don’t need to be subtle.”

Derek smiled at that.

“I was just thinking that Stiles had changed,” Derek started. “When he started speaking about his work, I saw someone I hadn’t seen these last few days. His demeanour changed...”

“And it made you realise that you had missed seeing him change into the person he is now?”

Derek nodded. Glad that his mother was so perceptive.

“He is still the same Stiles you know,” she replied, “he just became more responsible and is passionate about his work. He is still that intellectual, funny and charming boy he used to be; only he less sarcastic now but that is expected. We all grow up and change.”

Derek smiled at his mother, sighing lightly before he nodded.

“I am going to go see if I can’t find us some pizza,” she smiled leaving Derek alone to own thoughts.

Derek had been managing the results of his accident well, but in that moment he felt particularly shitty about everything okay that had happened.

* * *

Stiles had been fretting a lot that day. He and Scott had an argument about everything that day.

In Scott’s defence it wasn’t his fault: Stiles had been stressed about Derek’s return that he rearranged the whole apartment twice. He moved the sofas around, he moved paintings on the wall and whatever he seemed to do it still didn’t look right to him.

He had roped in his brother to help him overhaul the spare bedroom. Stiles was grateful when Melissa showed up with groceries and new bed sheets earlier that day.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Scott called saying how you were freaking out about Derek coming over,” his stepmother replied.

“You called our mother?”

“Well you’ve been freaking out the entire morning,” Scott replied

“I’m not freaking out,” Stiles said, “just having a mini panic attack.”

“Stiles, you’re definitely freaking yourself out,” Melissa placated, “The apartment looks perfectly fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s going to be okay...”

Stiles couldn’t help but feel nervous. It was big deal for him.

He was grateful to have his stepmother and brother with him. They managed to distract him for most of the day. They had even convinced him to go to the nearby go-carting track and race each other. They made a point that if he stayed at home, all he would do is stress himself out.

Stiles was glad they convinced him because he ended up enjoying himself immensely. He beat them both a few times but it was really Melissa who surprised them. She was good at it, even betting both of her sons on a couple of occasions.

They day thereafter passed so quickly that before Stiles realised, they were back home and waiting for Talia and Derek.

“Thanks for the distraction,” Stiles said.

“It’s only a pleasure,” Melissa replied sitting at the kitchen table.

“Thanks mom,” Scott said, “it was such fun.”

“I love sending time with my boys,” Melissa replied. “We don’t spend enough time together. I am glad that you are alive and healthy but more so I am truly proud of the fine men you’ve grown into.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re about to start crying,” Scott sighed.

“Hey!” Melissa chastised, “You’re my boys, and I’m allowed to get emotional every now and then.”

“As long as this doesn’t become a regular thing,” Stiles teased.

“You boys know exactly how to warm a mother’s heart,” Melissa deadpanned.

“Mom,” Scott started, giving his mother a hug, “you know we love you.”

“Melissa,” Stiles said, joining the hug, “you are my second mom and I love you as equally as my birth mom.”

Melissa couldn’t stop the tears that started falling out of her eyes, after hearing what they were saying. Scott and Stiles continued to hug her extremely tightly until they started laughing watching as Melissa was being smothered by them.

“Don’t mess up my hair,” she moaned.

“I think it’s too late for that,” Scott laughed, lightly ruffling his mother’s hair.

“Scott McCall,” she quipped, “you will pay for this.”

“I love you mom,” he laughed.

“Love can’t save you now.”

Stiles was canning himself when he heard a knock on the door.

He opened the door and found Derek and Talia Hale standing on the opposite side.

“Hello, hope we’re not interrupting?” Talia smiled.

“Not at all,” Stiles replied. “Come inside.”

Stiles stood aside as he let in Talia with Derek closely behind her.

“Hello,” Stiles greeted.

“Hey,” Derek replied.

“How are you?”

“Good,” he said, “and you?”

“Good.”

The two men stood their awkwardly unsure of what to make of the situation. Stiles couldn’t help but feel like the progress they had made over the past few days took a major step back. Maybe he was overanalysing the moment but they were definitely awkward and not only they knew it, but so did everyone else in the room.

“Would anyone like a cup of coffee or tea? OJ?” Stiles asked once he closed the door.

“I wouldn’t mind a cup of tea please,” Talia replied.

“Some juice please,” Derek replied.

“I cannot,” Melissa replied, “I unfortunately have to get going as I have a shift at the hospital tonight.”

“I have to go too,” Scott added, “promised Allison that I would take her to the ballet and if I don’t leave now I will be late.”

“If you don’t leave now,” Stiles laughed, “you won’t just be late, you’ll be dead. Allison takes her ballet super seriously.”

“You’re telling me,” Scott mumbled.

“It was really nice seeing you,” Melissa said exiting the apartment. “We’ll see you soon.”

“See you,” Scott said closing the door behind him.

“Was it something we said?” Talia asked.

“No,” Stiles smiled. “They really do have to go, they were on their way out before you got here but we got caught up.”

“Okay,” Talia smiled.

“Make yourself at home,” Stiles smiled “I’ll get started on your drinks.”

After getting them their drinks, Stiles went onto autopilot for the rest of their time together. Stiles remembered that they spoke and laughed but he had no clue what exactly they spoke about. Stiles never had a superficial conversation with Talia because of how engaging she was, but he assumed that it was his nervousness and constant worry about Derek (who for the most part just sat there not offering anything up until directly asked) only added to their wafting conversation.

Soon before he knew it, it was time for Talia to leave.

“I’m sorry for not contributing more to our conversation,” Stiles apologised, in the apartment hallway.

“It’s okay,” Talia smiled. “It’s perfectly understandable given the situation.”

“Thank you,” Stiles replied, hugging the woman before she left. “Make sure you call me when you’ve arrived home safely.”

“Will do,” Stiles answered.

“Stiles,” she said. “Everything will be okay in the end. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Stiles admired he optimism. He wasn’t so sure but it didn’t hurt to believe it. He nodded politely before returning to the man waiting inside the apartment.

“So,” Stiles started.

Derek looked up from his iPad and turned his attention towards Stiles.

“You want to have a have a tour?”

Stiles didn’t what else to say but apparently it managed to work.

“Sure.”

Stiles gave Derek a thorough tour of the apartment, which wasn’t needed because the apartment was not that huge. It felt very weird because Stiles was showing the man around their shared living space. Derek was the only other person, other than Scott, who knew the apartment like the back of their hand.

But that was the pre-accident Derek.

“So there you have it,” Stiles concluded.

“Seems easy enough to figure out.”

“Cool.”

Derek was looking around the large lounge area when he spotted something that caught his attention. Stiles realised too late that he forgot to put away the photos of him and Derek. They had always been there and he never questioned whether or not they should’ve been there but this was a Derek who had no recollection of their time together.

Derek walked over to table against the wall, where the framed photographs were situated. He picked up the photograph, and as he did so, Stiles noticed that it was from Peter’s wedding. Where they were both in tuxedos and Derek was kissing Stiles on the cheek.

“I’m sorry about that,” Stiles apologised. “I should’ve put them away.”

“It’s okay Stiles,” Derek replied.

“Are you sure?” Stiles said.

“Stiles,” Derek started, “I told you that while these may not have the same meaning for me as they do you, they are still a very important part of the last four years. I can’t ignore the fact that we were in a relationship.”

“So you don’t mind them staying out?”

“Nope,” Derek smiled. “We actually look like quite the couple here.”

“According to everyone at the wedding, we were the best looking couple that night; aside from the bride and groom that is.”

“Us?” Derek laughed. “I find that harder to believe than the fact that we dated.”

Stiles chuckled at that, “I’m glad we’re in agreement about that. We were just in tuxedoes that we had in our cupboards. Everyone could not stop taking photos.”

“I’m glad I don’t remember that then,” Derek replied. “That would have gotten annoying fast.”

“Believe me it did.”

The two of them stood there looking at the photograph in Derek’s hand. Stiles would never have thought that things would turn out the way they did. The thought was quite depressing, and before Stiles knew it he was getting choked up.

Derek quickly caught a glimpse of the man beside him, and noticed the tears that welled up in his eyes. It must be hard to have such reminders of the love they have and here was Derek talking so indifferently about them as if they were nothing more than staged photographs.

Derek could see the fondness for which Stiles gazed at the photos. He kept forgetting how in love they had been. He struggled understanding the true depths of the love that he and Stiles supposedly shared, but if one thing was certain it was that he would learn just how intense their love was if moments like this kept happening.

Derek slowly put the photograph back into the spot where he found it. There were others situated around the framed photograph, but for some reason that one in particular had caught his attention. It was saddening that things turned out the way they did but it was a balancing act- like a tightrope. They would have to juggle the past with the future; they had to look ahead and not behind them.  

“Anyway,” Derek said suddenly, “I am going to go sleep.”

“Before you do,” Stiles started, “I wanted to apologise for not telling you about us living together. It just seemed easier.”

“I was surprised by it since we’ve spent so much time together, but I understand.”

“Thanks.”

“Though I want you to promise me that you’ll try and tackle the difficult stuff,” Derek said. “Every day is difficult for me because I have no recollection of what got me to my current stage in my life. I might have been told about it, but I haven’t experienced it. You have experienced it, but you are getting too scared to speak to speak about it. Stiles I get that it’s hard to open up about us, it’s not the easiest of things for me to hear but I promise you, I won’t run away. So don’t back down okay?”

Stiles was surprised by what Derek had said but he understood every word of it. He would have to talk about them, and while the thought terrified him, he would have to overcome it.

“Okay,” he nodded.

“If you’ll excuse me I am quite exhausted and thankfully I won’t be lying in a hospital bed.”

“You might be begging for the hospital bed after you’ve slept in on that mattress,” Stiles joked, lightening the mood.

“I doubt it,” he smiled. “Night Stiles.”

“Night Derek.”

Derek felt asleep as soon as he climbed into bed, but unfortunately found himself wide awake 3 hours later; he had gotten some sleep but not enough. He was wide awake with nothing that he could do about it. He occasionally had insomnia but this was frustrating.

He decided that he would watch some videos or play some games on his iPad. He got up from the bed and switched on his bedside light hoping that he’d see the tablet nearby but to no avail. He remembered seeing it inside, so he left his room and went into the lounge. He was surprised to find that he wasn’t the only one up.

“Stiles?”

“Shit,” Stiles cursed, “you gave me a fright.”

“Sorry I didn’t mean to-” Derek started before he realised Stiles’ state of undress. “You’re naked.”

“Yes,” Stiles replied matter-of-factly.

“Why are you naked?” Derek asked, averting his gaze.

“Oh,” Stiles replied, “uhm... it was too hot and I switched on the fan but it was just uncomfortable so I got naked. I usually sleep naked most of the time though.”

“Would you mind covering up though?”

“Uhm, well it’s not like you haven’t seen it before?”

“Actually I haven’t.”

“Believe me,” Stiles smirked, “you have.”

Derek couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at that.

“...but I get your point,” Stiles conceded. “Naked Stiles is Naughty Stiles. Got it. No nakedness.”

“Thanks.”

Stiles stood awkwardly, cupping his groin in his hands.

”What are you doing up?”Sties asked awkwardly.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Derek replied.

“Is it the bed?” Stiles questioned, “Because I made sure that everything was okay?”

“The bed is fine,” Derek stated. “I’m just acclimatising I guess.”

“Okay,” Stiles replied. “Is there anything I can do?”

“It’s okay,” Derek pursed.

Stiles nodded.

“Actually,” Derek continued, “do you know where my iPad is?”

“Sorry,” Stiles said, walking over to the book rack. “I was reading an article on my phone and the page wasn’t loading properly so I just read it on yours.”

Stiles had to use both hands to retrieve the iPad so when he turned to Derek, the man caught another eyeful of Stiles. As Stiles handed over the tablet Derek purposefully looked away as he extended his hand for the gadget.

“Oh right,” Stiles swallowed, cupping his groin again.

“It fine Stiles,” he said, “I was just going to play Crosswords and Plague Inc. on it any way.”

“Plague what?”

“It’s this strategy game where you create your own virus and you try to kill the earth’s population before they have time to create an anti-virus.” Derek responded, “It sounds morbid but it’s quite addictive. You have to use strategy...”

“Well that explains it,” Stiles laughed.

“Explains what?”

“You have a weakness for strategy games,” Stiles smiled, “it’s always been your thing.”

“If memory serves, you’re quite the strategy man yourself. Isn’t Chess your game?”

“I enjoy it but more than anything give me a mystery to solve or more likely a mystery book to read and then I’m good.”

“Cool.”

As they stood there in the kitchen, an awkward silence lingered around them. Neither man had anything to say as they were looking at each other.

Stiles noticed that Derek seemed pretty restless; his fingers were fidgeting and he seemed to sway from side to side as he stood there in the kitchen.

Stiles was the naked one, but Derek felt pretty exposed underneath his gaze.

“You sure you don’t need anything?”

“No... thanks.”

“Uhm, okay then,” Stiles muttered, “in that case...uh... I’m going to go to bed.”

“Okay, Night.”

Derek stepped aside as he let Stiles past by him. He saw Stiles’ backside move side to side as he left the room. Derek had to admit, while he didn’t see Stiles in _that_ way the guy had a pretty great body. Ass included.

Derek quickly shook the thought from his head before he let it go any further. If this was how things were going to be for them then the future was going to bring it quite an adjustment for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> Chapter 8 and 9 were posted quickly to apologise for the delay from Chapter 7.  
> Plague Inc. is a game that you should play.  
> Title: Tightrope- Alex Clare  
> I named the chapter after this song because both men are on a tightrope... they have try their best to cheer and focus on the better days to come. Please give the song a listen. It’s truly amazing.
> 
> "...The only that's certain is sometimes you're bound to fall, just go, keep on holding on."


	10. Gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy. All errors are my own.

 

Derek rolled over, taking in the surroundings of his room.

He didn’t mind the room that Stiles had put him in; his bedroom wasn’t as big as Stiles’ but that was because he had the main bedroom and it wouldn’t have made sense for him to give it up. Even if he did, Derek would have declined.

He knew that Stiles wasn’t going to be a messy or difficult person to live with, but it was bound to be interesting. In the start everyone is always happy and friendly with one another, but pretty soon after being with one another for long enough, people get real; either they were going to get along or kill one another or someone would move out.

Hopefully the latter two did not occur.

He quickly went for a shower, and when he returned to his room, he couldn’t find something to wear. He mostly had his clothes from the hospital and the clothes his mother brought for him when he was discharged, but not much else.

He walked to Stiles’ room, knocked lightly and waited for a reply; when none came he gingerly opened the door before entering the room. Stiles showed him the room last night, and Derek liked it. It wasn’t anything to flashy or dull.

Derek was dumbfounded when he saw all the clothes in the closet.

He wasn’t entirely sure which of the clothes belonged to him, or if they were Stiles’. He knew that he wore t-shirts, particularly those with dark colours, but nothing with too many patterns or stripes- those he guessed was more in line with Stiles’ dress style. He never remembered having so many suits, shirts and ties before; his dress style had evidently evolved over the years.

Derek noticed that Stiles was grinning excessively, when he came strolling into the kitchen.

“What?” he finally asked.

“It’s nothing,” Stiles grinned.

“Spit it out Stiles,” Derek said.

“You’re wearing my shirt,” he smirked.

“Oh,” Derek replied, tugging at the shirt. “It was the only thing that seemed appealing to me.”

“It’s all good,” Stiles smiled. “It looks good on you, you should keep it.”

“It’s fine, I’ll go change.”

“Derek,” Stiles sighed, “It’s just t-shirt, you can have it. It was always a little big on me anyway. I sometimes buy clothes thinking that the same size for one brand will be the same for another but it was a little bigger than I thought. I’ve worn it twice at most, you’ll be doing me favour by keeping it.”

“Okay,” Derek nodded. “Thanks.”

“Pleasure,” Stiles earnestly smiled.

“You might need to help me figure out which clothes are mine and which are not because I had no clue what was mine,” Derek continued. “My dress style has certainly changed if the clothes in the closet are anything to go by.”

“Well it was more a matter of work than anything else really but I will organise it,” Stiles answered, “but if you want we can go shopping for new clothes? Stuff that you feel comfortable in?”

“You sure?” Derek questioned.

“Yes,” Stiles smiled, “Except that it will have to be tomorrow as I have to submit my finalised curriculum today.”

“That’s fine,” Derek replied.

“Cool,” Stiles answered. “What are you doing up so early though?”

“What time is it?”

“It’s 7:30,” Stiles replied. “You should’ve slept in.”

 “I think,” Derek started, “I’m still extra attentive because of being in a hospital where everyone moves around super early so its fine. This is me getting to sleep in.”

“Okay,” Stiles nodded, “Is there anything I can get you? You want some eggs and bacon? Toast? Or Cereal?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having?”

“Eggs and Bacon it is then.”

Derek spotted the coffee pot and wandered over it, looking around, not sure what to do until Stiles spoke up.

“The cups are in the cupboard above you, and the spoons in the drawer to your left.”

“Thanks,” Derek answered, glancing at Stiles before returning to his cup of coffee.

Stiles looked at Derek and realised that it must feel strange being in place you’re supposed to be familiar with but feeling like a total foreigner within the place. It took Derek two tries until he found the right drawer where the spoons were. Stiles wanted nothing more than to make things easier for Derek but he knew it would only agitate the man more if he kept telling him where everything was.

Stiles tried to not watch Derek too much, as hard as it was, and focus on making their breakfast. 

“So,” Stiles began, “how did you sleep?”

“It was a rough start, not gonna lie,” Derek replied. “You?”

“Okay thanks,” Stiles answered.

“Cool.”

“I am sorry by the way,” Stiles started.

“I’m not following?”

 “Last night’s naked collision in the kitchen? I’m sorry. I promise that I will stick to jocks and t-shirts.”

“Oh,” Derek nodded. “It’s all good.”

Stiles looked at Derek expecting him to say more but he didn’t.

Both men returned their attention to their own tasks after that. Stiles quickly finished up and put their food down on the table in front of them.  Derek was scrolling on his iPad and with his coffee in hand as Stiles gave him their breakfast.

“Thanks,” Derek said.

“All good,” Stiles replied.

They settled into a silence as they eat; no one saying anything and the sounds of knives and forks scrapping plates. When they broke the silence it was usually with a complimentary sentence when Derek commented on the deliciousness of their breakfast and Stiles replying with the obligatory humble thanks.

It was the tensest breakfast that either man had ever had in their lives.

When Stiles finished collecting their plates and put them into the dishwasher, he heard the doorbell ring. Derek looked up at him before turning his gaze towards the door.

Stiles walked over, opening the door and was surprised to find the person he least expected standing at the door.

“You going to invite me in or am I going to stand outside the whole time?”

“Sorry,” Stiles swallowed, opening the door for their guest.

“Derek,” Peter Hale smiled, “so nice to see you, glad you’re finally out of the hospital.  I would’ve liked to visit you sooner but things have been going crazy by the advertising firm. We had to step up our game when clients heard about your accident, because some were scared that meant we’d be unable to deliver but thankfully I was able to put out almost all our fires.”

“Hello to you too Peter,” Stiles sighed, with a small smile on his lips.

He would have been offended by the greeting had he not known that sometimes Peter did not bother to do cordial greetings. The same couldn’t be said when his wife Jennifer was with, because she knew exactly how to handle her husband.

“Yeah yeah,” Peter replied nodding his head. “Nice seeing you too.”

“What do you mean?” Derek replied.

“You haven’t told him have you?”

“I was leaving that to you,” Stiles replied. “I wouldn’t be able to answer any of his questions if he had any.”

“This will be fun.”

Peter walked over to the kitchen table and sat down at the table.

“Would you like a cup of coffee Peter?” Stiles smiled.

“Of course,” Peter replied, before turning his attention to Derek, “How are you doing?”

“Good,” he answered, “just surprised by the visit.”

“I am sorry to show up unannounced,” Peter started, “but it was important because I’ll need your sign off on a few things.”

“Is it anything I can help with?” Stiles asked handing Peter his coffee.

“Unfortunately not,” Peter replied. “It’s all work related. I wouldn’t have bothered Derek with it if I didn’t have to... You can tell me however tell me whether if your dad is still in for poker on Saturday night?”

“My dad plays poker with you?” Stiles asked.

“I thought you knew.”

“He is so busted,” Stiles laughed.

“If you tell him I told you,” Peter warned, “I’ll deny everything.”

“It’s fine,” Stiles smiled, “just gives me blackmail material.”

“I have a feeling I’m going to pay for this later.”

“So how’s Jennifer and the kids?” Stiles asked, changing the topic.

“They are good thanks,” he said. “Jennifer is still enjoying teaching at Beacon Hills, Michael is still so obsessed with The Avengers while Ella just started crawling everywhere causing her mother and I endless stress, but everyone happy.”

“Tell Jennifer and the kids that I miss them,” Stiles smiled, “It’s been too long since I’ve seen those gorgeous kids.”

“I don’t know about Ella but Michael misses you too,” Peter stated. “He keeps asking about when you’re coming over to play _New York New York_.”

“New York New York?” Stiles asked.

“It’s his nickname for the battle in New York in The Avengers with the Chitauri,” Peter answered, “and the only reason I know that is because Michael kept correcting me every time we played it.”

“He is way too smart for his age,” Stiles laughed.

“You’re telling me,” Peter laughed.

Derek felt a twinge in his stomach.

He watched the exchange between his uncle and Stiles with such interest; from what he could recall he never knew the two of them to be so familiar with one another. They were at most acquaintances, but from their current conversation he could tell that they had become quite friendly with one another.  He would never have imagined Peter being friendly with people.

Derek was family and he knew his Uncle to be a very particular man but he was glad that he had even managed to have a group with who he played poker. He even noticed that Peter seemed more amenable than he remembered him being; which Derek assumed it had to do with his wife Jennifer.

“Derek!”

“What?” he jerked, returning to the present.

“You okay?” Peter asked sounding alarmed.

“Should I call Dr Deaton,” Stiles asked his voice thick with concern.

“No no,” Derek replied realising that they mistook his silence. “Sorry, I was just lost in thought. It’s all good.”

“You sure?” Stiles asked.

“It’s okay everyone I promise,” he replied sincerely.

Both men nodded.

“You would tell us if something was wrong?” Peter questioned.

“I’m going to make you both buy me a drink if you keep asking okay?”

“Understood,” Peter laughed.

“Good.”

“Do either of you have any plans for the morning?”

“I have to go into the university,” Stiles answered, “and just check over my curriculum.”

“I have my morning free,” Derek replied, “well, had it free until you strolled in.”

“Well go finish up,” Peter interrupted. “We can bond for a bit or visit our family but either way we’re getting you out and about. Eventually get down to business because I’m not leaving without your signature but let’s go have fun.”

“It looks like the dictator has spoken,” Stiles mused.

“At least I’m a kind dictator but even if I wasn’t, it still be wise to listen to me,” Peter sassed.

 

* * *

 

“Is there anything I could for you Cutie?”

“Chicken and Mayo sandwich please,” Peter answered, “and a coke please.”

“No offense,” the waitress replied, “but I actually meant your friend.”

Derek couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“Thanks and I’ll have the same he’s having,” Derek smiled.

“Coming right up,” the waitress winked as she departed.

“Wow,” Peter uttered.

“You have clearly lost your touch,” Derek replied.

“And clearly you have not lost yours...”

Derek was surprised by the forwardness of the waitress, but he’d be lying if it didn’t give him a bit of an ego boost that some stranger found him attractive.

“Before we get our food and start eating, I wanted to ask,” Peter started. “How much do you remember? I know you remember a bit about 2010 but there is also some you don’t?”

“Basically I thought I remembered everything up until the cake tasting with Kate, but I've been remembering bits and pieces of her birthday,”

Derek wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw Peter react to the mention of Kate’s name.

“Which is when?”

“Uhm,” Derek mumbled, “May.”

“So everything after that goes fuzzy?” Peter asked.

“Yes.”

Peter’s entire demeanour changed.

“What?”

“It’s nothing.”

“No tell me what.”

“Do you know why you and Kate broke off your engagement?”

“No,” Derek answered.

“Stiles hasn’t told you?” Peter questioned.

“It wasn’t something that I felt comfortable asking him about.”

“Understandable,” Peter conceded. “Talking about an ex with one’s significant other is never encouraged.”

“Stiles is just friend,” Derek answered.

“Sorry,” Peter replied, “Force of habit.”

“It’s okay,” Derek said, “but is there something I should know?”

“All I know is what you told me,” Peter started, “You said that you two were arguing more and more and that you realised how incompatible you were. I could sense that there was more to the story at the time but you didn’t tell me.”

Derek heard what his uncle was saying and he knew that he was being truthful but he wondered what he kept from them. If hypothetically there was another reason why he and Kate broke off the engagement, the reason why he probably kept it to himself was because he saw no purpose telling everyone else.

“Well thank you for telling me,” Derek replied.

“Anything to help,” Peter nodded.

“That aside,” Derek responded, “You wanted to talk business?”

“I’ll need you to sign these documents,” Peter said, “for our Advertising Agency.”

“Did you say _our_?” Derek exclaimed loudly.

Just then the waitress interrupted.

“Here you go gentleman,” she smiled. “If there is anything that I can do for you please don’t be shy to let a girl know, especially you Mr Dark and Mysterious.”

“Got to admit,” Peter commented once she was gone, “I admire her tenacity.”

“What do mean Advertising Agency?” Derek continued, ignoring his comment.

“We run an advertising agency together.”

“Since when?”

“We started up the company in 2011,” Peter explained, “You found that you weren’t enjoying being a accountant anymore so with your business knowledge, you convinced me to leave my company so we could start our own agency. Thankfully three years later we’re still going strong.”

“So I’m no longer an accountant?”

“Nope,” Peter answered, enjoying his meal, “You do look at the books from time to time but you and I run the day to day of the business and we pitch client’s ideas for print campaigns and commercials. The only reason I need your signature is because before we can go ahead with new clients, we pitch them our ideas and if all goes well, we land the contracts.”

“You’ll just have to sign these off giving us the official go ahead,” Peter continued taking out the documents. “I’ve already signed them; it’s just yours that’s still required.”

“Wow.”

“I know that it’s a lot to take in,” Peter replied.

“Yes,” Derek replied. “Certainly not what I expected.”

“Well that is life,” Peter said. “It leads us on unexpected and winding roads. I never thought I would be running a company with my nephew but I’m glad that I am.”

Derek was surprised by the news that Peter told him. He had never had a passion for accounting but he enjoyed what he did. It was nice and it paid the bills but it’s wasn’t anything he loved. He went to work, did his job and went home. He was grateful for the financial security that it afforded him but if he was being honest, he understood why he left. He didn’t finding it as fulfilling as what someone else might have.

He recognised the strength in doing what he did. It was risky because things could have tanked for him and his uncle and that would have left them in quite the predicament, but thankfully he didn’t have to know what that would be like.

“Do you know what prompted me to change?” Derek questioned.

“You moved back to Beacon Hills and while you were being headhunted by the top accounting firms in the state, you weren’t in any rush to settle down with anything.  Ultimately you said that it was after a chat with Stiles on one of your dates where after you had an epiphany to start your own business.”

“This is all so hard to believe,” Derek started, “Amazing but so hard to believe. I guess there could be worse things than controlling half of a successful company that you know nothing about.”

“Like losing your memory of the last four years,” Peter hedged.

“That would indeed suck,” Derek smirked.

They quickly finished their meal and spending the rest of their time speaking about their family. Derek was glad that he got to spend time one on one time with Peter. They never really had much time together.  He never thought that their relationship would be in the good place it was in, but life was definitely full of surprises.

“Is there anything I can get for you gentleman,” the waitress interrupted.

“No thank you, just the bill,” Peter replied failing to realise her attention was solely on Derek.

“Coming right up but in case you are in need of anything else, here are my contact details,” she answered, giving him a card. “Don’t be scared to call me.”

The two men were left flabbergasted, since they certainly did not expect things to turn out the way they did.

“The name is Paige by the way,” she answered, strolling off leaving them to smile at the interaction.

 

* * *

 

“Sorry about leaving you to the company of Scott and Allison,” Stiles explained sitting across Derek the following morning, “I see you at least got the food I’ve told them to get.”

“I understand,” Derek replied. “It was cool to hang out with Scott and Allison.”

“I hope it wasn’t anything too overwhelming for you?”

“I’m a big boy Stiles,” Derek smirked, “I can handle Scott and Allison.”

“Well excuse me then.”

Stiles couldn’t help but smile at that.

He watched as the man moved around the kitchen and couldn’t help but feel déjà vu. It was like nothing had changed. They were back in the kitchen, carrying on like it was every other morning. Stiles would always be the first up and take a shower where Derek would occasionally join him for some morning fun, but when he was done he’d go into the kitchen and get things started.

Derek would always stroll in sometimes on autopilot unit he had his first cup of coffee, much like he was doing now. There was however something different about him now though. Derek was being extra cheery and whistling, which Stiles knew was only when he was feeling really confident, got laid or got good news.

He wasn’t sure which of the three it could be, but he knew which one he hoped it wasn’t.

“You seem happy this morning?”

“What you mean?”  Derek asked.

“You’re humming,” Stiles answered. “You only hum when you’re in a particular happy mood.”

“Just something interesting happened yesterday is all.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Uh,” Derek waivered, “I scored the number of my waitress that Peter and I visited yesterday.”

“What?” Stiles said before he could stop himself.

“When Peter and I went out for lunch yesterday we met this waitress named Paige; she gave me her number. She was persistent and certainly charming, I’ll give her that.”

Stiles felt like he was somewhere else.

He was present but also felt like he was unaware. He likened the sensation to when someone tells you news that you’re not expecting and except instead of being happy about it, you felt shattered.

That was how Stiles felt. He kept on a brave face and tried his best to present the appearance of happiness but he certainly felt like was thrown off guard.

“That’s cool,” he lied.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Stiles shrugged.

Derek nodded, “Okay.”

A silence settled between them.

Derek continued making his cereal while Stiles returned to his laptop searching the web for anything particularly interesting that he could use in his classes for the new schooling year.

Stiles had reread the same line five times not taking anything in because his mind was still focused on what Derek had said. He wished that he didn’t care what Derek had said. All of this would have been so much easier, but he couldn’t.

He wish that he could let go by it was like this gravitational pull. He wanted to go away but he couldn’t because he kept allowing himself to orbit around Derek.

Stiles quickly pushed the thought to the back of his mind, deciding to speak up, not sure what he was going to say.

“You going to take her up on it? Like go out with her?”

Stiles hated the fact that he had just asked Derek that.

It felt like he was purposefully but himself through more torture, but Stiles had his own mind remind him that it was something a friend would do.

He and Derek used to be good friends and that would have been something that he would’ve asked back then.

Stiles believed in a saying, “If you love someone set them free, and if they come back it’s meant to be.”

Stiles had set Derek free, and letting him do what he wanted. As much as he believed in his heart that they were meant to be together, time would tell whether he would be right.

He knew that Derek wasn’t hurting him intentionally, so he couldn’t blame the man because he was doing nothing wrong. It hurt him to hear what Derek said, but he kept it together because he promised himself that he was not going to fall apart every time something happened with Derek. 

Stiles had every reason to let his situation get the better of him, but he was raised to be strong. Even though he didn’t feel it, he had to be strong, which in this instance meant being the supportive friend.

He would _try_ and support whatever Derek decided.

 “You don’t think it’s too soon?” Derek quizzed.

“Well it’s entirely up to you,” Stiles answered quietly.

Derek had been paying attention to Stiles.

He brought up the fact that the girl had flirted with him because Stiles was his friend and he didn’t want hide anything from him. If he started doing that then all he would be doing would be keeping stuff from Stiles and having secrets.

While his relationship with Stiles was delicate at the moment, he would still have to treat them like they were friends. Derek wasn’t oblivious to the fact that it was easier for him than what it was Stiles, so he knew he’d have to deliver the news with sensitivity. He didn’t want to come off as crass or inconsiderate. He cared about Stiles, if he didn’t than they wouldn’t be friends, but this was new territory to him.

 “Well I don’t feel entirely ready,” Derek answered truthfully. “I guess I was just enjoying the attention from a stranger.”

“Okay,” Stiles said.

Derek realised in that moment, that he had told his former paramour about someone who flirted with him. He felt unsure of himself especially given the current topic of conversation.

Hypothetically speaking, if someone came along that he managed to fall for them then he would have to have the conversation with Stiles eventually. He was clueless about his readiness for a romantic entanglement and the certainty that it would ever happen.

He knew he would find someone eventually, he just didn’t know who they would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. Been plotting out the rest of the story, and been writing other chapters. I apparently have an allergic reaction to writing a story chronologically.
> 
> I wanted to explore the moments where they are roommates. Let you see what that means. It wasn’t particular easy to write, but I do hope you are enjoying it.
> 
> I will try to be my best in consistently updating, I just started my last semester of university so it may be hectic but know, I won’t leave this fic unfinished.
> 
> Any questions or Queries can be left in the comments section or at www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com
> 
> Title: Gravity – Sara Bareilles
> 
> I chose this song because there is such a resonance. Stiles is struggling to let go. He keeps telling himself all of this about letting Derek go, and he believes it, but then when Derek brings up the notion starting something with someone, Stiles realises hasn’t really let go.


	11. Sweet Disposition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy. All errors are my own.

Derek was relatively calm; it was Stiles who was freaking out on Derek’s behalf.

“Are you sure that you want to this?” he questioned. “I mean, you don’t have too.”

“Stiles,” he sighed.

“Okay,” Stiles nodded, “But one last time before I let this go, name your nephew and nieces.”

“Michael, James, Tammy and Ella.”

“It’s Tamblyn,” Stiles corrected.

“But everyone calls her Tammy.”

“Good job,” he smiled. “How old are they?”

“Michael, James and Tammy are 3 and Ella is 6 months,” Derek replied.

“Okay,” Stiles nodded. “It’s pretty great that you wanted to know everything you could about your nephew and nieces.”

“Well this is the first time I’m meeting them so it’s bound to be interesting, but it would suck if their own uncle didn’t know the names of his own nephew and nieces.”

“That’s very admirable of you Derek,” Stiles replied.

“It’s what anyone else would do,” Derek countered.

“Well not everyone would have the foresight required,” Stiles retorted.

Stiles respected what Derek had done; it was not an easy thing for him to go through- making sure he memorised everything about his nieces and nephews. He had been committed and determined in knowing what everyone’s individual interests were along with their likes, dislikes and allergies. He wanted to know everything about them.

Stiles felt that helping Derek learn everything about them was part of his responsibility. He had told the man that he would help him with remembering and telling him important information, so it was only to be expected that he play his part.

When Derek had initially told Stiles that Peter had invited them both to the Hale house for a small party, he was worried. Stiles’ concern stemmed from whether it might be something too fast too soon.

He wasn’t worried about Derek’s immediate family being there, but rather the kids and also the family friends. Stiles and Derek had met a lot of acquaintances and friends over the years –some he even didn’t remember. Gathering from the number of cars outside the Hale property it definitely looked like there would be nothing small about the party.

Stiles spoke to Talia and she had promised that if things got too much she would personally bring the party to an abrupt end; Derek insisted that he was fine with everything so Stiles let it go.

“One last time to back out,” Stiles said as they came to the front door.

Derek just gave him a blank stare.

Both men coincidently took simultaneous deep breaths before Derek rang the doorbell.

“This is a private party,” Laura Hale greeted with a drink in hand, “no amnesiacs or their supervisors allowed.”

“Who you calling supervisor?” Stiles accused.

“Was that supposed to be your attempt at a joke?” Derek replied.

“You both know you want to laugh,” she smiled.

“I’m howling with laughter,” Derek deadpanned.

“Hello Laura,” Stiles guffawed, bringing an end to their banter.

“Hello Stiles,” she said. “Come on in guys...”

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Derek voiced.

“Well Jordan was able to get off from work and we decided to take a trip up,” she answered. “We would’ve popped in yesterday but the kids wanted to go see Disney on Ice so we took them to the show.”

“How was it?”

“The kids adored it so that was really all that mattered,” she told them. “How have you been?”

Stiles and Derek looked at each other before answering.

“We’ve been good,” Derek said.

“Yeah,” Stiles agreed. “All good.”

Laura noticed a moment of awkwardness occur between the two men before they both had put on smiles.

“Well that’s...good.”

“So you gonna lead us to the real party or we going to stand in the hall the whole time.”

“Sheesh,” Laura sniped. “Blame a girl for trying to catch up with her brother why don’t you?”

“Don’t take it personally,” Stiles said. “I’ve been bugging him about the party for the past few days so he is just antsy and nervous.”

“You realise I’m standing right here?”

“I know.”

Derek just rolled his eyes.

“Well come on through.”

When they made their way towards the house, Derek had noted the outside of his childhood home still looked exactly how he remembered it. It was only as they were being led through the house that he noticed how much the house had changed.

The walls filled with pictures some of which he remembered and others that he had never seen before. The house felt different from how he remembered it too, but he put it down to the fact that his mom liked keeping things fresh in the house.  

Derek couldn’t help but smile he passed the table when he broke his arm as a kid. Laura and he had gotten very involved in a game of tag and ended up breaking his arm in the process. He could still hear how his mother scolded them both on the way to the hospital.

He couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

“And that expression?” his mother asked as they met her in the kitchen.

“I was just reliving the memory of breaking my arm on the dining hall table,” he answered.

“What brought that up?”

“The house is different from how I remember it,” he explained. “I guess seeing some of the stuff in the house just brought back some memories I had forgotten about.”

“This house is full of a lot of memories,” Talia answered, “some good and some bad but all important. I was so scared when you broke your arm, but also so angry at you and Laura because I warned you so many times not to run in the house but something was bound to happen.”

“Kids will be kids,” Stiles added.

“Indeed,” she smiled, before going on to greet them correctly. “Hello young men, I am glad you made it.”

“Hi Mom,” Derek greeted, placing a kiss on her cheek.

“It’s lovely to see you Talia,” Stiles replied. “You look gorgeous.”

“Oh stop it,” she blushed.

“Watch it Stiles,” Laura teased, “that’s my mother.”

“You know you’re the only woman for me Laura,” Stiles winked, “don’t be jealous.”

Everyone burst out laughing at that. It had always been their dynamic to goof around and joke with one another about such things. Over the years they had come to know, understand and love the company of one another where making such jokes were natural to them.

Stiles would never have anticipated that he would get so close to someone’s family, never mind the fact that it was Derek’s family. He had grown to know them in such a way that he would gladly offer them help if they asked him. The time that he and Derek dated gave them the time to take it slow and really settle in knowing not just each other but also one another’s family. They got to the stage where they never had to worry about leaving each other alone with the other’s family because they were so comfortable. He would have never left Derek alone with his family if the man couldn’t handle it.

Stiles stole a glance at the man beside him and caught him smiling on at the exchange that had just occurred. Derek nodded his head in a way that asked if anything was wrong, to which the man just shook his head.

“Well come on Casanova,” Talia stated with a smile. “Everyone is out back and probably worried where you are taking so long.”

They were taken to the backyard where everyone was widely dispersed. Some were standing nearby Stiles’ father and Peter at the barbeque and others were underneath the canopy situated on the opposite side of the yard, but all that either man noticed was that in total there were a lot of people present.

As soon as they stepped out, they suddenly saw mini-humans hurdling towards them shouting their heads off.

“Uncle Derek!! Uncle Stiles!!!” the toddlers happily screamed as they ran towards them.

Stiles face broke out into a hug smile when he saw the children. He had always loved children and when Derek’s relatives had children of their own, he loved them as if they were his own nephews and nieces.

Michael and James wrapped their arms around Stiles and hugged him as tightly as they could. Stiles grinned as he saw the toddlers wrapped around his waist. He playfully rubbed their heads before kneeling down to give them both hugs.

“You have grown so much since I last saw you boys,” he laughed. “What have your parent’s been feeding you?”

“They make us eat our vegetables,” Michael said pulling a face. “It tastes yuck.”

“I can’t have ice-cream if I don’t eat my vegetables,” James said as if he was facing the world’s biggest problem.

“Oh no,” Stiles gasped. “Do you want me to talk to them? I don’t think I can get them to stop but I can try?”

“Please please please Uncle Stiles,” they begged.

“Okay then.”

“Yay!”

They both wrapped their hands around his neck. Stiles couldn’t help but laugh as he held the children in his arms.

“Careful boys,” Laura laughed, “you might hurt Uncle Stiles.”

“It’s okay,” Stiles laughed. “It’s been too long since I’ve seen these lovable boys.”

“They really are attached to you Stiles,” Talia commented, “but it’s easy to see why.”

“Thanks,” Stiles smiled before returning his attention the boys. “By the way boys did you see who I brought with me?”

“Uncle Derek,” they answered cheerily.

Derek had been watching the exchange with interest and zoned out. When he heard his name, he quickly returned to the present and knelt down beside Stiles so that he could communicate with the toddlers on equal ground.

“So a little birdie whispered to me,” Derek started, pulling out a gift in his left hand that he had kept hidden behind his back, “someone likes The Avengers. Don’t you Michael?”

“I love Hawkeye best,” he answered.

“Is that so?”

“Yes,” he smiled, excitedly getting ready to explain why, “he is cool with his bow and arrow. He is also a human yet he still part of The Avengers. He special and not like the others that fly, make things go kaboom or have powers. He just uses his bow and he can fight.”

“So like a total tough guy right?”

“Yes!” Michael nodded.

Stiles had never seen such a big smile on Michael’s face than in the moment that Derek pulled out an Avengers themed toy bow and arrows. The toy and the arrows were plastic but Michael clearly loved them as if he had been given the exact same bow and arrows that Hawkeye uses.

Derek had been so caught off guard when Michael gave him a huge hug; he nearly toppled to the side. Derek looked around that his family and Stiles, unsure what to do with the child holding onto him but with some encouragement from them he returned the hug of the toddler.

“Do you mind if I go show my mommy and daddy?” Michael asked excitedly.

“Go right ahead,” Derek laughed.

Michael had rushed off without a second glance.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him run off as fast in my life,” Derek’s mother smiled.

“I have to agree,” Laura laughed.

“Now,” Derek continued, “James you didn’t think that I forgot about you did you?”

James was still standing by Stiles, looking all shy and just shrugged his shoulders.

“I thought about getting a Transformers car because I thought you would like that but then I thought harder and I realised that you don’t like cars right?”

James just nodded not saying anything.

“So then it hit me and I knew what I was going to get you,” Derek answered. “Do you want to come with me to get it? I left it inside on the table.”

Derek extended his hand, offering it up to James to see if he had earned the trust of the three year old. James tentatively took a step forward and he slowly took hold of Derek’s hand and they went inside.

It was only a matter of seconds before James came running outside, shouting excitedly as he swung his new toy around. He immediately ran towards his mother.

“Mommy, Uncle Derek got me a Tinkerbell doll.”

“What?” Laura smiled, feigning surprise. “No way. Can I see it?”

“Yes,” James smiled. “But don’t break it.”

“I promise I won’t,” Laura answered.

She took a look at the Tinkerbell figurine and pretended to inspect it judiciously.

“This is so cool.”

“I know,” he said. “I love Tinkerbell.”

“I know,” Laura smiled. “She’s your favourite!”

“Yes!”

“You’ll take good care of her right?”

“I will.”

She quickly returned the figurine to James, who could barely take his eyes off of it.

“Did you say thank you to Uncle Derek?”

“Oops,” he smiled, realise that he forgot to say thanks in his haste.

Derek had returned from inside as soon as James had run outside to show his mother his toy, and was glad when James, who had been so shy, came out of his shell when he saw that his gift was Tinkerbell.

“Thank you Uncle Derek,” James said giving his uncle a tight hug.

“Michael has also come to say thank you,” Jennifer Hale laughed holding onto the hand of her son as she strolled towards them. “He was a bit eager to show off his toy.”

“It’s perfectly understandable,” Derek answered.

“Thank you so much for my toy uncle Derek,” Michael said. “I love it very much.”

“I am so glad to hear that you and James both love your presents,” he grinned.

“I can see that Laura and I are going to have quite the challenge getting them to let go of those toys in the coming weeks,” Jennifer said. “So thanks for that.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Derek smiled.

“Where’s Ella?” Stiles spoke up. “I was hoping to get my arms around that precious daughter of yours.”

“Since Cora and Isaac took hold of her, I have not held my daughter,” Jennifer laughed. “I barely do whenever we come over.”

“She is truly precious though,” Talia stated. “You just want to cradle her in your arms and eat her up.”

“That usually happens when they are still in the cute phase,” Laura added, “wait until you experience the terrible two’s. I had a rough time with Tammy but thankfully she has calmed down.”

“Where is she?” Talia questioned.

“Tammy is taking a nap on daddy’s lap,” Laura replied.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Stiles laughed.

The ever expanding group was joined by Cora and Isaac when they came along. Isaac was holding onto Ella while Cora was Tamblyn’s hand.

“What do we have here?” Talia proclaimed like a proud grandmother.

“Cora and I thought we would like to take the kids to the park,” Isaac answered. “Before we did, we wanted to ask your permission and Jennifer I think Ella made a big accident that requires immediate attention so I thought I would bring her back to her loving mother.”

“Well that’s my queue,” Jennifer smiled taking hold of her daughter. “I will chat to your later. Cora, if Laura says that it is fine for Michael then James can go to the park too.”

“Well it’s alright with me,” she replied.

“How does that sound kids?” Cora asked, “You want to go the park with Uncle Isaac and I for a bit?

Before she had even finished speaking the kids had been excitedly jumping up and down, eager to go to the park.

“Great,” she smiled. “Let’s go put on some shoes and then we can go.”

They quickly departed, leaving Derek with Stiles, his mother and sister.

“That went well,” Derek sighed.

“You seemed surprised?” Laura questioned.

“It’s not that,” he said, “I just thought it was going to go a lot worse.”

“Thankfully it didn’t,” Stiles answered.

“I forgot to give Tammy and Ella their gifts though.”

“We’ll make sure that they get it,” Talia replied.

“It all worked out well in the end,” Stiles smiled.

“Apparently so.”

The two men saw couldn’t help but smile at each other.

Stiles couldn’t help but feel like he had temporary glimpsed the man that he had fallen in love with when he looked Derek. They way he handled the kids was so tender and playful but entirely loving.

Everything he did showed the kids that he cared about them and made sure that he knew them. He may not have remembered every minute detail but he sure worked hard to let them know that they were important to him. Stiles couldn’t help but have a particular image pop into his mind.

It had been one where Michael had just been born and Derek held onto the baby for the first time. He had been so taken aback by the look of love and adoration in Derek’s eyes in that moment. He was so scared of hurting the baby, but he didn’t have to be because he was so gentle.

The reason why he had had the image stuck with him, was because it showed him what his family with Derek would look like. He would be tender and compassionate and a total loving father with their children that in that moment Stiles loved the man more than he knew he could.

It was that very glimpse of the man he had loved which only caused further heartbreak when post-accident Derek had returned a second later. Derek quickly broke eye contact, cleared his throat and adjusted his stance returning his focus to his surroundings.

It wasn’t long after that that Derek and Stiles were being swarmed by everyone else towards. Stiles didn’t recognise half of the people who were suddenly around them but he just kept smiling and greeting them. Somewhere in the arrival of the eager faces he and Derek had separated from one another and were left to fend off the people separately.

Stiles tried looking for the man but he didn’t see him anywhere. Before he could even see if Derek was alright, he felt someone take hold of his hand lead him off somewhere. Initially Stiles was going to pull his hand away but when he realised that it was Allison he willingly let her lead the way.

“You looked like you were drowning,” she answered.

“Thank you for that,” Stiles smiled. “Everyone just started talking and it felt like they would never stop.”

“I told Scott to get you out of the crowd but he was too in scared to wade into the mass around you.”

“I was not scared,” Scott defended. “I just said that Stiles is a big boy and can manage a few people on his own.”

“You were _so_ scared,” Stiles retorted. “But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by that.”

“I was not,” Scott persisted, sounding like a kid.

“What are you guys doing here though?”

“Well,” Allison started, “We knew that things would end up being rough on the both of you and so Scott suggested that we come along for moral support.”

“Aww,” Stiles smiled, “You really care for me Scott.”

“Don’t be crazy,” Scott answered, “I just heard that there would be free food and drink.”

“It’s okay Scott,” Stiles teased, “I won’t tell anyone that you like me.”

“Just shut up and take your drink,” Scott laughed handing Stiles a cider.

“Yes brother,” Stiles smirked.

He took a swig of his cider and focused on the bottle in his hand, trying to not let his mind take over.

Stiles felt someone tap his shoulder, when he looked up Allison whispered in his ear.

“You okay?”

“I think that being here with him just got to me more than what I thought,” Stiles answered, taking another swig of his drink to clear the lump in his throat.

Allison didn’t say anything. She just wrapped her one arm around Stiles and rested her head against his neck, giving him a much needed hug.

He looked over at Derek who was in the centre of the people and talking to them like he was extremely comfortable. He seemed at ease and like he was in no way overwhelmed. Stiles couldn’t help but feel useless in that moment.

If he was being honest with himself, he was really glad to have his family there with him because from the looks of it, it seemed like he would need their support.

* * *

“Here you are,” Laura said coming out onto the roof. “When last have you been up here?”

“I think it was the night before I moved out of town.”

“Remember when we came up here and used to smoke weed?”

“Don’t remind me,” Derek laughed. “It was the worst place because we could have slipped and fallen off the roof.”

“True,” Laura smiled, “but staring out at the stars just made us enjoy our high more though.”

“Fair point,” Derek conceded. “How’s it going inside?”

“They are having coffee, sitting by the fireplace or playing poker,” she said. “A very calm end to a busy day.”

“Today was...something.”

“You regretting your decision?”

“No,” Derek answered. “I think that it had to happen sooner or later so I’m glad I got it out of the way but my was it exhausting. I will admit that sometimes I did feel overwhelmed but usually either you or Mom came to the rescue if you noticed that I was drowning.”

Derek was so tired after the busy day he had; having multiple conversations that all started blending into each other, all making him feel like he would never get a break. Thankfully there was always a family member who came to the rescue. It wasn’t just Laura and his mother but they were the ones who rescued him most from some conversations.

Derek knew that the fact that there had been so many people present was because he clearly had enough of an impact on people’s lives that they cared for his welfare, and that was special but he was so tired.

“Well we care about you,” she said, “and we knew that today would be rough. We anticipated that there might be occasions here you could feel overwhelmed so if you looked uncomfortable then we’d try our best to get you out there.”

“Ah,” Derek nodded. “I should feel offended but honestly I’m grateful. I underestimated how intense today would be.”

“Well we just want you to be okay Derek,” Laura griped his shoulder.

“Thanks,” he nodded. “I think that meeting the kids stood out for me today. The other stuff was repetitive and while fun, I loved meeting the children.”

“I loved the photo of you asleep on the chair with Ella in your arms,” Laura laughed.

“What?”

“You dozed off for a five minutes,” she explained, “thinking that no one had noticed but Stiles noticed and then we quickly took a photo. It’s one other those special moments.”

“I can’t wait to see that,” Derek laughed. “They are all really great. You and Peter have lovely kids. I was nervous meeting them but they were splitting images of their parents. I regret that I don’t remember watching them grow up.”

“I am sorry that that happened to you,” she answered, resting her head on his shoulder.

“It’s okay.”

They both took a deep breath. Inhaling the cold air and letting the serenity of the night sky wash over them. Minutes passed without anyone feeling compelled to say anything except staring out at the view of houses before them.

Eventually he could sense that there actually was something that Laura wanted to ask about and it wasn’t long until she spoke up.

“How have you been?” Laura enquired.

“Okay,” Derek replied. “Why?”

“Nothing,” she said. “I was just surprised when mom told me that you went to live with Stiles. I thought that you would come home.”

“Oh you mean that,” Derek sighed. “Why were you surprised?”

“Because you are living with someone who you have no recollection of being in love with,” she replied as if stating the obvious. “Surely there is some awkwardness and difficulty?”

“Well it was in the start but we seem to be okay with each other,” Derek said. “We’re getting back to a good place.”

“How so?”

“Well we joke with other, we talk and he helps me with stuff that I might struggle with,” he replied. “The roommate thing is turning out to be okay.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, earlier in the week when Peter and I went for lunch a waitress flirted with me,” Derek explained, “and then later that day I told Stiles about it.”

“No,” Laura gasped.

“Stiles seemed to take the news okay,” Derek shrugged.

“Tell me I am not hearing this.”

“What?”

“That was such a douchebag move!” Laura chastised. “What the fuck were you thinking of telling Stiles about some chick hitting on you?”

“He's my friend,” Derek defended. “I told him anything that I'd tell a friend, even though we had history-“

“What may be history for you, is Stiles' present,” she interrupted. “Stiles is so in love with you. He doesn't let you see that, or let's you know that he is suffering by being so close to you because he has always done the noble thing.”

“He understood that things between us were done and that we were friends, if he wasn't okay with that I would have kept my distance.”

“Are all you men really so short-sighted?” She sighed. “He lied to you because he wanted to be there for you, regardless of his feelings, to make sure that you were okay and that you were recovering. The guy frikken loves you so much, he'd put your welfare about his own emotional state.”

“I didn't ask him to do that though,” Derek answered, “It's not my fault I can't remember our relationship.”

“You were always this insensitive?” Laura accused.

“What do you mean?”

“You seem so cold and maybe it's because your relationship with Stiles actually made you a better person but you sound colder than I remember,” Laura said. “You actually sound like such an asshole.”

That caught Derek off guard. He didn't mean to come across like a dick; he had always just been straightforward.

It was interesting to him that Laura pointed out that his relationship with Stiles had affected him in some way.

Derek took a moment before he answered, letting the silence sit between them.

“I don’t mean to be one,” Derek finally offered. “It’s just that this whole thing has been so hard and it’s not easy. Everyone has moved on to the next stage of their lives and here am I having had four years of my life wiped away.”

“I thought I was going to marry Kate and that we’d be fine,” Derek added, “but now to wake up and find out that things are different from how I expected and that I’m supposed to not freak out over it. I am struggling especially with the whole Stiles thing because for me that was a total surprise.”

“Here is my friend whom I _was_ in love with and started making a life with. You all have emotional connection and involvement to things that have happened over the last four years and to me it’s just been these stories as if I’m in a fantasy. I think the only way for me to have reconcile everything was to separate myself from it. I accept that it happened, but I don’t have a connection to it.”

“When it comes to Stiles, I admit that I made a bad call but I honestly believed that I could just tell him something like that without it being a issue,” Derek concluded, “but I guess I was being naive.”

“Firstly I am glad you’re speaking to me,” Laura eventually offered, “and that you’re getting it all out. Secondly, I think it would be best to steer clear of any romantic talk around Stiles. He is one of the kindest and best people I know; he feels compelled to do the right thing and sometimes the right thing is not what’s best for him. I understand that you’re eager to get back to the way things used to be between you, but I think sooner or later you’re going to realise that it is not an option for either of you. You are just going to have to accept how things are, then go from there. It won’t be easy but nothing in life is.”

“As for Kate, just be glad you didn’t marry that...” Laura said stopping herself.

“What?” Derek questioned. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” she sighed. “Let’s not waste time thinking over her...”

Derek wanted to know what it was but decided against it.

“...but that aside do you hear what I’m saying about Stiles?”

“Loud and I clear,” he noted. “I think the thing is that I keep trying to not make mistakes with him but all I seem to be doing is then making other mistakes that I haven’t even realised I was making.”

“Well I think you both knew that it would be difficult,” Laura stated, “you just didn’t realise how difficult.”

“You can say that again,” he sighed.

“I think you’ve been alone enough,” Laura started, making her way inside in the process. “You ready to go inside?”

Derek inhaled deeply.

“Lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, sorry for the delay. I was revising my other Sterek fic “The Orphaned Clones” and so that took a bit longer than I anticipated and also university life has been...something. Let’s keep fingers crossed that I graduate come December.  
> 1\. I felt like dealing with Derek in his familial environment after his loss of the last four years was imperative. The Laura and Derek interaction came from comments in the previous chapter so thank you for the comments because you opened my eyes to something I could use.  
> 2\. “What may be history for you, is Stiles' present” I’ve used some version of this before but it is such an important line for Derek to hear.  
> 3\. Laura Hale, the teller of truth bombs.  
> 4\. Don’t worry you will get a answer on the Kate drama.  
> 5\. Edit- I also can't do Math. The kids are three not four since they were born in 2011. I miscalculated.  
> I value your thoughts and opinions so review and comment below.  
> You can find me at: www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com or even on twitter if easier @thelionmutters if you want but yeah.  
> Title: Sweet Disposition – The Temper Trap  
> “A moment of love  
> A dream  
> A laugh  
> A kiss  
> A cry  
> Our rights  
> Our wrongs”


	12. Love is Blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback time.  
> Warning: There is a mention of Aids and someone having passed away from it. It may be a trigger for some so I thought I would inform you. If you want to skip that bit then stop reading at “He had always believed that if he dated fell for a guy then he would just update his family then” and you can start at the next paragraph.

** 6 March 2010 **

 

“Derek!”

“What?” he grumbled still in bed.

“You better get up or we’re gonna be late for the cake tasting.”

“Why did it have to be so early?”

“Do you know how _hard_ it was to get a reservation?” she snapped. “I had to call the day I found out you were going to propose.”

“You called them last year already?”

“Yes,” Kate said, “they have a five month waiting list. There is no way that I would have missed on the opportunity to have Madam Martin’s Cake Delights.”

“You could have just had me speak to Lydia’s Mother.”

“Had I known Miss Bitch’s mom was running the place, I would have spoken to her myself.”

“Could you not call her that?” Derek sighed.

“Why not?” Kate retorted, “I understand she is your friend Derek and I respect that but it doesn’t mean I have to like her or get along. She is a bitch and I know she doesn’t like me either so it’s fine. We get along because we have to. I don’t get how Jackson puts up with her.”

Derek sighed.

He knew better than to reply to that because then it would lead to an argument and that was _not_ how he wanted to start his day; especially on the day that they were meant to be cake tasting.

“Anyway,” she continued, “I don’t want to waste time thinking about Lydia. If you don’t get up now we’re going to be late.”

Derek got up as quickly as he could and in a matter of minutes he was dressed, showered and they were on their way to Madam Martin’s.

“Aren’t you excited?”

“I’m hungrier than anything else really,” he mumbled.

“Well no one told you to oversleep,” Kate chastised, “you should gotten up sooner and juiced. The only downside to all the cake tasting we’ll be doing is that I’m going to have to work extra hard in the gym.”

“Oh the horror,” Derek sniped.

“You should make it to the gym more often,” she smiled. “I don’t want you looking like a slouch on our wedding day.”

“I go to the gym enough,” Derek said, “and besides I work so much, it’s a feat in itself that I manage to get the gym.”

“Lazy Fat Ass,” Kate replied.

Derek learned a long time ago to let Kate’s remarks pass over him like water on a duck’s back. He loved Kate, but even he knew that she could be a bit of a bitch when she wanted.

They soon arrived at Madam Martin’s and were surprised to discover that they were not one of the first people in the bakery. It was only 8:15am and the store was as busy as if it was midday. People were standing in queues within the store ordering confectionery’s while others sat in booths eating their cupcakes, muffins or croissants with coffee nearby; either reading on their iPads, phones or with newspapers in hand.

“And you still wanted to stop somewhere to grab something to eat,” Kate sassed.

Derek knew that Lydia’s mother ran a successful bakery, he had been there a few times before, but he didn’t realise how much she had expanded her business. He always liked the 1920’s diner feel that the bakery had, but there was something different this time- a more contemporary feeling.

If Derek was a betting man, he would have been sure that Lydia had a part to play in that.

“Hello Derek,” Mrs Martin greeted, “It’s been too long since I’ve seen you. How are you doing?”

“I am good thank you Mrs Martin,” Derek smiled, surprised from her remembrance of him.

“Call me Natalie please,” she corrected.

“Okay Natalie,” he tried tentatively.

“How is your lovely mother doing?”

“She is doing very well.”

“I am glad to hear that,” she smiled, before turning her attention to the lady beside him, “and you must be Kate?”

“Nice to meet you Natalie,” Kate smiled, “I can now see where Lydia inherited her stunning looks.”

Derek couldn’t help but laugh internally. It was so typical of Kate to play nice so she could get her way. Especially if it meant complimenting someone who she didn’t really like.

“So shall we get started?”

“Lead the way,” Kate smiled.

They followed her to an empty booth and as they sat down a waiter brought out a tray with two plates, each with a slice of cake on it.

“So when I spoke to you on the phone,” Mrs Martin began, “you said you wanted something traditional with a twist; well the first that I have for you to try is Classic Vanilla Bean. What that is, is Vanilla sponge layered with a Madagascar vanilla bean infused buttercream.”

As the plate was placed before them, they could smell how wonderfully aromatic the cake was. If it tasted as good as it smelled and looked then they were going to be in for quite the treat.

As they each took a cake fork and had their first bite, Derek knew that his self control would be tested because it was hard to stop after the first bite; the cake was truly divine. Next that followed was an assorted of lovely options ranging from Chocolate Truffle to a vanilla sponge layered cake with a rich chocolate ganache and espresso infused buttercream called Opera.

Derek looked over at Kate and the expressions on her face, told him everything. It didn’t matter whatever other place they would go to, Madam Martin’s bakery was going to be the one to make their wedding cake, regardless of whatever flavour they went with.

After they finished up with tasting the cakes, they were treated to a Nutellachino and croissants. If Derek was being honest with himself, he hoped that he could start off every morning this way and not just with some bland health juice mixture that had protein supplements in it.

The Nutellachino was an experience like no other; he was in heaven with all the confectionary delights and enjoying every single minute of it.

“I think,” Kate started, “that we have just found the baker of our wedding cake.”

“I am so glad to hear that,” Natalie smiled. “Have you settled on a date yet for the wedding?”

“Sometime in July,” Kate stated. “We haven’t decided on an official date yet but the month is a definite.”

“I’ll eagerly await news of the date,” Natalie answered.

“Aren’t you going to find out which cake we’re choosing?” Derek asked.

“Honey,” Natalie laughed, “selecting a wedding cake is not a spur of the moment thing, you need to savour the cake and think about it. The cake you start craving and day-dreaming about will reveal itself in time and when it does, you will know what you’re wedding cake flavour will be.”

“Men,” Kate sighed, “so uncouth in the fine art of cake tasting.”

“Lydia’s father was exactly the same,” Natalie smiled.

“Well please pardon my ignorance ladies,” Derek laughed.

“I often do,” Kate said, kissing her fiancée.

“You two look _nice_ together,” Natalie said. “How did you meet?”

Derek just sat back as Kate took over the conversation detailing how they met at her niece Allison’s high school’s graduation party and they hit it off, becoming quite familiar and it was only a year ago when Derek had moved to Seattle for a job opportunity when he serendipitously bumped into Kate at the local food market.

Hearing Kate tell the story, Derek couldn’t help but feel like he was listening to the start of someone outlining the plot of a romantic comedy- couple meet at party, never see each other again, reconnect later on, hit off and end up getting engaged. When he put it like that, it was really cliché how he came to end up with Kate beside him. Sometimes things end in ways you don’t anticipate.

As they were talking, Derek’s minded wandered and he ended up glancing around. He noticed that there was an attractive man sitting at one of the booths nearby them. He had on a Beacon Hills Police Department Uniform and it looked good on him. He had a really nice smile and amazing eyes. Whoever that guy was with, they were indeed very lucky.

Derek quickly cleared his mind; he was with Kate and he loved her but sometimes he would unintentionally take to window shopping- guy or girl. He had gone through the identity crisis thing and made his peace with his bisexuality but he kept it a secret because no one needed to know.

He had always believed that if he fell for a guy then he would just update his family then. He doubted they would make a fuss of it because his mother’s older brother who had unfortunately passed away during the early days of the AIDS crisis was gay. Every year on the anniversary of his death the family would visit his burial site- Derek didn’t know his uncle but that didn’t diminish the importance of his memory.

Regardless, he felt that until he fell for a guy it would not be worthwhile to bring up his bisexuality. He had told Kate recently and she had taken it extremely well, even saying she had dated bisexual guys before. Derek was relieved at the news.

Spending time in the bakery had felt like only minutes had passed but in actually hours had passed by. When Derek and Kate were ready to leave the bakery, they were surprised when someone called after them.

“Kate?” the man in the police uniform called.

“Hunter Parrish?” Kate replied, thrown by the appearance of the man.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” the man smiled widely, “When was the last time I saw you?”

“Please don’t say because then you’ll make this girl feel very old,” Kate smiled.

“In that case then, I promise that I won’t say,” Parrish laughed.

The two them kept looking at each other, momentarily stumped by the unexpected meeting. Instantly the guy, who Derek thought was attractive didn’t seem as attractive as he did a moment ago.

“Hi I’m Derek,” he interrupted.

“Sorry,” Kate jerked, recollecting herself, “Derek this is Hunter Parrish, Parrish I would like for you to meet Derek Hale.”

“How do you know each other?” Derek asked.

“We know each other through mutual friends,” Kate replied.

“Until Kate became here became a professional model,” Parrish smirked, “And then she was just too popular for us.”

“Oh boo-hoo,” Kate giggled. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“Well I just transferred back to Beacon Hills,” he replied. “You know what they say: home is where the heart is.”

“Absolutely,” she smiled, “Thankfully such a dull town was _never_ my home. I would jump off a cliff if I had to live here.”

“Well that’s you’re loss,” Parrish laughed.

“You waiting on someone?” Kate questioned.

“Actually yes,” Parrish replied looking at the door, “they should be here by now. We usually meet here every Saturday morning and ride into the station together.”

“Well maybe it’s just the traffic.”

“Yeah,” Parrish replied. “Oh wait I think I see-”

Parrish drifted off as he strained his neck to see if his friend was coming.

Derek noticed two people walk into the bakery and walking towards them. He could see the women, but not the man’s face; they didn’t look familiar to him at all. It was only when the lady walked past them to the counter did he realise that the two people were not together.

“Stiles?” Derek uttered.

“Derek?” Stiles smiled.

“You two know each other?” Parrish piped up.

“Baby Stilinski is the friend that you’re waiting for?” Kate laughed. “You really need to find better friends Hunter.”

“He’s not such a bad kid,” Parrish laughed.

“Nice to see you too Kate,” Stiles smiled humourlessly. “I didn’t realise the Snow Queen ever left her side of the world to visit us mortals in Beacon.”

“Well the Snow Queen has something of purpose to do with her time with a wedding to prepare for and all, unlike you who seems to be wasting people’s time.”

“Play nice,” Derek interrupted.

“Derek you know us,” Kate placated. “We’re just playing with each other. Stiles and I get along perfectly fine.”

“Sheesh Derek,” Stiles said forcing a smile into place, “you know that Kate and I are just teasing.”

Derek knew that there was nothing fun or playful about the exchange, and he was about to say something but he decided against it.

It was a constant thorn in his side that Kate didn’t exactly get along with some of his friends but sometimes unfortunately your friends don’t always get along with the one you love and you just have to make the best of it. He knew that Kate was feisty and could be bitchy when she wanted to be but he couldn’t help _who_ he loved.

He always saw her “bitchiness” as a manifestation of how passionate and determined she was. Being the head of a modelling agency, and having been a model herself, she knew what it took to make it. She had grit and a ferocity that had enchanted Derek and made him interested in her in the first place.

The issue was that Kate didn’t always know how to treat people who didn’t come from her world.

Parrish quickly excused himself to pay for the bill, allowing them to catch up.

“What are you doing here? How long are you here for?” Stiles grinned.

“Kate and I flew in yesterday,” Derek replied. “We came for cake tasting.”

“You came all the way to Beacon Hills for a cake tasting?”

“What Kate wants she gets,” Derek shrugged laughingly.

“Well if you are free later maybe we could get together tonight? I can call the gang.”

“We would love to,” Kate interjected, “but we unfortunately have another engagement tonight.”

“Okay then,” Stiles nodded, “Hope about we go out for lunch? I’m supposed to meet my dad and Scott and the station but I can always reschedule.”

“I would like-”

“I am sorry baby Stilinki,” Kate said cutting off Derek, “but that we need to get a few other stuff before we’re on our way. We can’t spend our time babysitting kiddies today.”

“Maybe next time you’re in Beacon Hills,” Stiles said, visibly restraining himself from saying something he would regret.

“Will do,” Derek smiled.

The two friends hugged one another, unsure of when they might see each other next. He always made a point to see them whenever he was in town but ever since he had moved out Seattle, he didn’t know when that might be. Sometimes, life gets in the way of things.

“Well it was nice seeing you Kate,” Parrish returned, gaining their attention. “Maybe we’ll catch up sometime.”

“I’ll hold you too it,” Kate winked.

If Derek didn’t know better, he would have assumed that two of them were flirting with one another; but Derek realised that that was silly. He knew Kate, she was just being friendly to someone she knew. He shook the thought from his mind, feeling like maybe he was just overanalysing. Derek couldn’t help but think, maybe he was just jealous. He knew himself to never be the jealous type, but there can be a first time for everything.

They quickly departed leaving Stiles and Parrish alone to remark after the coincidental run-in.

“That was great surprise,” Parrish grinned.

“Yeah,” Stiles nodded.

“Can’t believe I bumped into Kate Argent after all these years,” he sighed. “She’s quite something hey?”

“If you say so,” Stiles answered.

“Oh come on, you gotta admit that she is a stunner.”

“Just know,” Stiles answered, “that I am judging your taste in women right now.”

“You realise you’re judging your friend’s by extension?”

“Derek can make his own decisions, as a friend while I may not like his choice in women, I can still be supportive of him,” Stiles replied, “but enough talking about them let’s get going.”

“Lead the way Baby Stilinski.”

“Say that one more time and you’ll regret it,” Stiles said giving Parrish a steely gaze that made the man know he was not joking.

“Threatening a police officer and is a criminal offence,” Parrish retorted.

“Good thing that my father’s the sheriff then,” he winked.

“Touché,” Parrish laughed.

“Let’s stop messing around otherwise my dad is not going to be happy with either of us,” Stiles answered, “and then we’ll both suffer the consequences.”

“Race you to the car.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. Hope You enjoyed the retrospective. This is fairly important flashback because I’m currently plotting and writing the next three chapters and there are things in here that will play out.  
> 1\. I know nothing about cakes or bakeries so apologies to any bakers. Most of my information, I got with the trusty side-kick called Google. Here is the link to the site I used in case anyone is interested: http://idoweddingcakes.ca/flavours/  
> 2\. Nutellachino is amazeballs, there’s a coffee shop in South Africa that makes it and yum.  
> 3\. I chose Seattle because Beacon Hills is (if going geographically) meant to be in Sacramento California so I tried to get it that it had to be far away but not too far. I have no clue how long it would take to get to from the one to the other but yeah...  
> 4\. I recently watched The Normal Heart and Dallas Buyers Club which so poignantly dealt with the scariness of the AIDS crisis when it started. AIDS was initially called Grid which stood for Gay Related Immune Deficiency. I suggest you make an effort to watch both movies as the acting is superb- Matt Bomer astounded me in The Normal Heart and Jared Leto was everything.  
> 5\. I also felt that bringing in a brother that Talia had would service the story well. I hope you didn’t find it preachy because I wasn’t going for preachy. I do hope that I dealt with it in a respectful manner.  
> Please don’t be scared to comment. I like hearing thoughts and theories on what should/will happen. If you have any thoughts or concerns please let me know.  
> Title: Love is Blind – Alicia Keys.  
> I came across this when searching for music for this chapter and I am glad I found it. Cool jam. Love me some RnB. If anyone is interested, I can post my extensive list of music that I have heard and enjoyed for this fic on my tumblr page when the last chapter is posted (which I have no clue when that will be).


	13. Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the chapter. All mistakes are my own. I apologise about the errors because I know how they take you out of the story.

“Any plans for today?”

“Nothing really,” Stiles replied. “Might go into the university, not entirely sure.”

“Okay,” Derek said.

“You?”

“Other than scrolling through my iPad and clicking through the television channels...nothing,”

“Maybe you should give Cora or Peter a call? You could hang out with.”

“I’ve already seen too much of them than what I’m accustomed to,” Derek answered. “I love my family but that’s kinda going overboard...”

“Okay then,” Stiles smiled drinking his tea.

By now he should have been okay with the awkward silences between him and Derek but ever since the party last week they have become more pronounced. Stiles couldn’t help but feel somewhat uncomfortable with it.

Things have been different between him and Derek but he couldn’t exactly put his finger on it. All he knew was that there was something _off_.

Conversations between them would be over in 5 or 10 minutes at most, and then they’d go about their time just existing around each other; making commentary or telling the other something interesting but then as soon as that was done the silence would return, and when it did that would be the end of discussion.

Stiles had been recently working on his lecturing roster and schedule for the upcoming semester, which meant that he wasn’t always available to be there for Derek in which case he’d organise something for the man to do during the time that he was absent. Thankfully Cora, Peter, Scott and Talia had been there but clearly Derek was beginning to feel like they were too much of a regular fixture.

The past week since the party had been different than what Stiles was expecting. Derek had been more open with him prior to the party than after; it wasn’t exactly easy before but now the man was just... indifferent.

Derek had tried his best to take Laura’s advice and steer clear from anything that could cause Stiles to hurt. He hadn’t initially given more thought to when she said that Stiles was still in love with him but later that night on the ride home it kept flashing in his head like a neon sign.

He didn’t want to let it affect their relationship but the more you try to not think about something, the more you’re likely to think about it. He tried making everything seem normal and like nothing was wrong but since he was aware of not only that, but also how anything out his mouth may potential unintentionally hurt Stiles’ feelings it eventually made talking as little as possible seem like the best thing to do.

Instead of saying something hurtful, he’d just avoid saying anything at all.

Derek knew that Stiles sensed that something was up but he wasn’t going to be the one to make a point of it. If you ignore the awkward silences then they will go away…at least that is what he hoped.

He’s been spending a lot time with him family and while he loves them, they can be overbearing and _too_ inquisitive at times. They constantly kept asking if he was okay or if he was relaxing and not doing anything stressful.

He could only say that he was resting and taking it easy for so long before he started repeating himself. If he was being truthful, he was actually going out of his mind with boredom. For the past week he’s been spending time on the sofa, going from screen to screen.

If he wasn’t watching something on the TV, then he was on the iPad.

He brought up going back to work and he immediately regretted it as everyone started mouthing off at him about it being too soon. It was a constant losing his battle; so he let it go and just vegetated in front of the TV.

“Derek?”

“Huh?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah why?”

“You seem spaced out,” Stiles replied.

“Just lost in thought,” Derek informed.

“Okay.”

As Stiles stopped speaking, there was immediately a knock on the door.

“You expecting anyone?” Stiles asked.

“No,” Derek answered. “You?”

He shook his head.

Stiles walked to the door and looked into the peephole. He was pleasantly surprised when he found a certain redhead standing on the other side of it.

“Lydia,” Stiles grinned, welcoming his friend in. “What are you doing here?”

“I have come to take you away!” Lydia announced gliding into the apartment in her black Louis Vuitton shoes.

“Away where?”

“That my dear friend is a surprise,” Lydia teased. “Hello Derek.”

“Hello Lydia,” Derek smiled. “How are you doing?”

“I am good thank you,” she smiled. “Yourself? I am glad to see you out of hospital and recovering.”

“More like dying of boredom,” he replied, “but doing well nonetheless.”

“I am happy to hear that,” she smiled. “I would’ve come to see you sooner but everything with work has been demanding. I hope you don’t mistake my lack of appearance as a lack of concern for your wellbeing.”

“Who are you?” Derek laughed.

“What do you mean?” Lydia replied with a quiet laughter.

“You’re so much... nicer,” Derek answered, “not that you weren’t nice in the first place but you seem settled; you’ve really grown into your own. You were always a fierce and opinionated lady before but now you’re a regal strong woman.”

“So you’re saying that I’ve become old and stale?” Lydia accused.

“No no no I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” Derek quickly backtracked.

“It’s okay Derek,” Lydia smiled. “I’m just teasing. That was me using my lawyer humour.”

Stiles watched the exchange and couldn’t help but smirk when Derek visibly exhaled upon realising that Lydia was being facetious.

“Glad to see some things haven’t changed,” Derek laughed. “It’s really nice seeing you.”

Stiles noticed that suddenly the entire room had a vastly different energy than what it did the past week, and all that was because of Lydia. She had caused Derek to smile and crack up in such a way that his smile reached all the way to his eyes.

Stiles tried being funny and cracking jokes but those only received a half-hearted laugh and his smile would be gone seconds after.

Lydia’s arrival had been a welcomed gust of energy and Stiles was very grateful for that.

“It’s really nice seeing you too,” she earnestly replied, before changed her attention to Stiles, “But you clearly need to talk to your friend about his service. Am I going to get a cup of coffee or am I going to have to make it myself?”

“Coming right up Ms Prima Donna,” Stiles laughed. “Where have you been? I was expecting a reply to my email but when I checked my inbox this morning nothing, now I know why.”

“Jackson and I got in last night,” she answered sitting down at the kitchen top. “Washington was fun but it wasn’t home.”

“Will you ever tire of travelling all over the country so much?”

“Maybe one day,” she pursed, “but for the time being Jackson and I are enjoying it.”

“I’m glad you and Jackson are still together,” Derek added.

“Me too,” she smiled, “but enough about me how have you two kids been doing?”

“Good,” they both replied, looking at each other for confirmation.

“All good my side,” Stiles faintly smiled.

“Likewise here,” Derek nodded.

Lydia immediately noticed that something was up with both of them; they were both being awkward.

“What have you been doing?” she continued, hoping that one of them would open up.

“Just seeing family and sitting at home,” Derek answered.

“I’ve been sorting out my curriculum for the upcoming academic year,” Stiles replied. “I was going to go in today before you came along.”

“Well boo-hoo,” she said. “We’re going to have some much needed fun today.”

“What do you have planned today?” Stiles questioned.

“I told you that it is for me to know and for you to find out,” she winked.

“Fine,” Stiles sighed.

“Well hurry and get done,” Lydia sassed.

“Aye Aye Madam Martin,” Stiles retorted.

“Careful or I might convince my mom to implement a life time ban against you,” Lydia warned.

“I’ll be back now,” Stiles laughed, leaving Lydia and Derek alone as he went to change.

“You’re more than welcome to come along Derek?”

“Thank you for the offer,” Derek answered, “but I’ll decline.”

“You’re sure?” Lydia asked.

“I am sure,” he smiled. “Stiles needs to get out; he is either at the varsity or here at the apartment with me these days. There’s no middle ground. I think time out with a friend might do him good.”

“You know that I am your friend too right,” she said.

“I do,” he nodded.

Derek believed her. He felt a very immediate bond with Lydia, but he thought it was just the fact that their initial bond had remained intact over the years. In some ways she reminded him of Cora because they felt like they had that brother-sister bond. It had always been that way ever since they got to know each other and even though he missed out on the last four years he was glad to know that it hadn’t changed.

“It just dawned on me that you don’t remember what happened last year at our Halloween party.”

“What do you mean?” Derek asked. “I know that you have an annual Halloween party and that at one of them Stiles went as Steve Urkel and I went as a fireman. Why?”

“I think it’s better if I show you.”

Stiles had quickly gotten changed, and when he re-entered the room he was surprised when he saw Derek and Lydia laughing at something on the iPad.

“What’s so funny?” Stiles enquired.

“Nothing,” Lydia laughed. “Just showing him what happened at our Halloween party last year.”

“Oh god,” Stiles groaned. “I thought I told you to delete the video.”

“I did,” Lydia defended. “I just forgot that Jackson had a copy of it.”

“Stiles,” Derek seriously said, “I had no idea you were such an expert on the pole? Where did you learn all those moves?”

“It was not my fault,” Stiles retorted. “I didn’t realise the orange juice had vodka in it.”

“Seriously?” Lydia questioned, giving him a disbelieving look.

“Don’t give me that look,” Stiles said. “I had just been to the dentist that morning. I was sticking to liquids. I couldn’t exactly taste everything I was drinking and eating.”

“Convenient excuse,” Derek said.

Stiles gave up; it was no use arguing with them because they were enjoying the heck out of it.

“You seriously need to teach me some of your moves,” Lydia commented.

“Are we going or you going to continue my embarrassment?”

“I don’t know,” Lydia hedged. “This is pretty awesome.”

“I agree with Lydia.”

Stiles just gave them both a blank stare.

“I think that is my cue,” Lydia smiled.

“I think so too,” Derek agreed.

“Well I’ll see you later Derek,” Lydia said, grabbing her bag.

“You’re not coming along?” Stiles asked.

“Stiles,” Derek started, “just as I told Lydia, you need to have some fun so getting out will do you some good.”

“You sure?”

“Stiles, I’ll be fine,” Derek continued. “I’ll keep myself busy, might even go for a walk around the block or something.”

“I’ll be a phone call away,” Stiles said. “Don’t hesitate to call me or anyone if you need to okay?”

“Lydia,” Derek sighed, “please get him out before he drives me and himself to an early grave.”

“Derek is right,” Lydia said. “Come on let’s get going to our first destination.”

They could see the indecisiveness in Stiles’ eyes. He was feeling conflicted about the whole thing but eventually relented and sighed.

“Lead the way.”

“You first,” Lydia said.

“Good bye Derek.”

“Bye Stiles,” he nodded. “Have fun.”

Stiles smiled faintly before he left.

“Bye Lydia.”

“Bye Derek,” she smiled. “Promise me you won’t get yourself into any trouble okay?”

“I’ll do my best,” he smiled.

Just like that, he was alone in the apartment with his own thoughts for what seemed like the first time in a really long while, and he was content with that.

* * *

“Sorry we’re late guys,” Lydia announced to their expecting guests. “Stiles was being slow.”

“Who are you talking to?”

Stiles had no clue who Lydia was talking to because she had placed a blindfold over his eyes in the car. He thought that they would be driving for a while when they left the apartment but instead it was only for two minutes before they had unexpectedly pulled over and she helped him out the car with his blindfold still firmly in place.

Stiles could hear like they were in some kind of coffee shop and the bustle of people around, but he mostly just heard noise. Suddenly with his blindfold was gone, he took a second to adjust to the light and when he did so he was able to see who Lydia was talking to.

“Surprise!” Lydia exclaimed.

Stiles couldn’t stop grinning when he saw Danny and Allison sitting in _their_ booth at Madam Martin’s Bakery. It was the spot where every Friday they would meet up for coffee and baked treats where they’d get to talk to each other. Sometimes their lives would get so hectic that they would have to miss out on occasion but they always ensured that they never went a full two weeks without seeing each other. When you love your friends, then nothing would stop them from hanging out.

“This,” Stiles finally voiced, “is the best surprise ever. I love you all so much.”

“We know,” Lydia smiled.

“We love you too,” Allison replied.

“I love Ethan sorry,” Danny teased.

“Mahaleani makes a joke,” Stiles retorted.

“Never thought I would see the day,” Lydia joked.

“Wow guys,” Danny replied, “thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Stiles felt his mood pick up and couldn’t help but smile, and it was all because of his friends. They were exactly the people that he needed to see.

“We took the liberty of ordering you hot chocolate,” Danny replied, as Stiles settled in.

“Since we knew that it would be one of those days when you’d need a major pick me up,” Allison continued.

“And also because we love you,” Lydia concluded.

“Thank you,” Stiles smiled, “but first tell me how has everyone else been doing? How was the second honeymoon Danny?”

“It was perfection,” Danny smiled. “Everything from the cruise, to the visiting Paris and the honeymoon suite itself...it was just what we needed.”

“Sounds romantic,” Allison smiled.

“It was,” he grinned.

“We want all the scandalous details,” Lydia pressed.

“I have a few embarrassing stories to tell you.”

“I hope so of those are sex stories,” Lydia hedged.

“This is Danny and Ethan we’re talking about,” Stiles added, “How can there not be any?”

“I shouldn’t be telling you guys,” Danny laughed. “Ethan keeps mentioning how you break into laughter like giggling school girls when he mentions New York...”

“You gotta admit,” Stiles smirked. “The story about you two getting caught skinny dipping is quite funny.”

“True,” Danny laughed “but still....”

“Pretty please Danny,” Allison smiled batting her lashes at him.

Stiles listened intently as he let his friends take over the conversation. He was able to forget of the baggage that he was carrying on his shoulders for the past few weeks and allow himself to feel unencumbered.

It felt nice to talk and be temporarily distracted from what he had gone through the past few weeks. He listened as Danny told them about his trip, he listened as Allison spoke about how he she enjoyed her archery classes and he listened as Lydia explained about some idiot model flirting with Jackson right in front of her. She was delighted when telling the story because Jackson snapped and told the bitch, “ _Can’t you see I’m with my wife.”_

“Needless to say he got laid that night,” Lydia winked.

They all broke out into laughter as she concluded her story. Stiles had been smiling and laughing ever since he sat down, and he was truly glad that Lydia had kidnapped him because listening to them made him happy.

But then soon enough their attention turned onto him.

“So,” Danny asked, putting down his coffee, “How are _you_ doing Mr Stilinksi? How has everything been?”

“It’s been an interesting couple of days to say the least,” Stiles pursed.

Stiles had been emailing them and keeping them updated on how everything stands, but email cam only go so far.

“We started out fine,” Stiles began. “It wasn’t easy but we made it work **but** ever since his family get-together last week he’s been somewhat reserved. I am not sure if I said anything or what but yeah...”

“I was going to ask what was up with the awkward silence,” Lydia stated.

“Don’t tell me we’re back to that?” Allison sighed.

“I asked them how they were and they stared at one another as if asking the other how they have been doing.”

“Pretty much,” Stiles confirmed.

“You guys were getting along so well though,” Allison said. “Well, as well as could be considered given the situation.”

“I knew it was going to be hard though, I...maybe I was naive in thinking it would be fine.”

“You’re an optimist,” Lydia said. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t think everything would turn out well.”

“I’m exactly the same,” Danny replied. “Love is a crazy thing...”

“Stiles,” Allison began, “how do you actually feel about Derek? You were so in love with each other weeks ago and given everything that has happened since, you have barely had time to figure out how you feel while still dealing with other things...”

Stiles quickly drained his hot chocolate using the small bit of time it gave him to organise his thoughts.

“I love him,” Stiles sighed, “but not even I’m sure that it means anything.”

“What do you mean? Of course it means something,” Danny said.

“I don’t know,” Stiles replied. “I feel like I’ve built myself a house of cards that could collapse at any moment. That is the only way to explain my emotional state. Like I’ve been coping and I’ve been trying to move on because clearly he doesn’t remember anything but it’s not easy. I can’t help but have that small flicker of hope that one morning he’ll wake up and remember everything then we’ll go back to how we used to be.”

“All that makes me feel,” Stiles continued, “is like I’ve created false hope and like I am waiting for something that could _never_ happen. Every day that passes feels like I’m getting further and further away from the life I imagined with the man that I love... so honestly... _I don’t know_.”

Stiles tried but he couldn’t stop his voice from cracking towards the end of his sentence.

He hadn’t noticed that he had become somewhat resigned as he spoke, staring at the table non-specifically. He quickly refocused his gaze on his friends and noticed the hint of sadness in their eyes.

“Damn,” Danny choked.

“And,” Stiles tentatively added, “I was just offered the Head of the English Department position at Columbia University...”

“What?” they gasped.

“As in Columbia University in New York?” Danny questioned.

“Stiles that’s on the other side of country,” Allison stated.

“When were you going to tell us about this?” Lydia asked.

“It happened so sudden that I barely had time to comprehend this myself.”

“Well that is huge news,” Danny said.

“I know,” Stiles sighed.

“Do you know when they’ll want you to start?” Allison enquired.

“They said the current Head of the Department leaves at the end of next month so they would like an answer as soon as possible.”

“And aren’t you supposed to starting teaching your classes next month as well.”

“Yes,” he sighed. “I thankfully have someone in the department who’ll be able to take over the course for me if need be but it’s a pretty daunting situation. I haven’t even given it much thought.”

“It’s a huge opportunity,” Lydia said.

He nodded.

“Now you understand why I am confused about this Derek situation because this offer further complicates things for me. I have no clue what I am going to do. I promised Derek that I would help him but he seems self-sufficient enough that given a week or two he won’t need me at all. He is going on with his life and I’m here naively holding out hope for him to remember everything and us to go back to how we used to be so...yeah,” he conclusively sighed.

“Wow,” Lydia sighed.

“Yip,” Stiles replied.

Not only were his friends outright wiping the tears from their faces, but he too had to wipe away the tears he hadn’t even realised were running down his face.

“Sorry guys,” Stiles swallowed, trying to clear the lump in his throat. “I didn’t mean to kill the mood.”

“Stiles, you didn’t kill the mood,” Allison said grasping his hand.

“We’re your friends,” Danny said. “We stick with you in the good, bad and the gigantic mammoth decisions.”

“It will all be okay in the end,” Allison assured.

“I hope so,” Stiles sighed.

“I am just glad,” Lydia said, “that I wore my waterproof mascara today. I had a feeling I was going to cry.”

Lydia had found the best way to make them laugh, and break the sudden morose mood their time together had taken.

“Thank you for that,” Stiles smiled.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lydia said, feigning ignorance.

“Count on Lydia to change the mood,” Danny laughed.

“Are we really surprised?” Allison smirked.

“No,” they all said simultaneously.

“I have an idea,” Lydia suddenly exclaimed. “We’re going to help you let loose and the only we’re gonna do that is with…KARAOKE!!!”

“No!” Stiles objected.

“You don’t have a choice!” Lydia stated.

“You cannot say no,” Danny confirmed, “what Lydia wants, Lydia gets.”

“Resistance is futile,” Allison added.

Stiles had no choice but to follow his friends onto the stage area in the bakery.

It was typically tradition that every Friday night there would be a karaoke night at the bakery and it was Lydia who ultimately proved to her mother that a seemingly catastrophic idea would actually be a profitable one.

Her mother had initially been reluctant but when it took off with amazing results, the risk had been worth the reward.

“So what song are we singing?”

“Wait and be surprised,” Lydia said.

“Either way we’re gonna have fun? Okay?”

“Sticking to our usual singing order?”

“It’s worked for us this far so yeah...”

Stiles waited patiently for the song to kick in that Lydia would start off singing before Allison would take over.

“ _Yo, I‘ll tell you what I want, what I really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want..._ ”

As they sang, Stiles knew that they were doing that so he could let loose and have fun. If singing Wannabe by the Spice Girls with his friends was not the very definition of letting loose and having fun, then he had no clue what was. As he prepared to sing the first verse, he was never more grateful to be surrounded by people who willingly loved him than in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. As I typed this and with the mention of all the hot beverages, it dawned on me that I will never have the fortune of experiencing Starbucks in my life. I really need to visit America.  
> 2\. Stiles needed his peeps.  
> 3\. Spice Girls are amazing. “Spice up your life...”  
> Thank you for sticking with me. Feel free to review/comment.  
> Find me: www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com  
> Title: Wings – Birdy  
> “Oh lights go down  
> In the moment we’re lost and found  
>  I just wanna be by your side  
>  If wings could fly”


	14. Snap Out of It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Errors are my own. I do apologise about the errors because I know how they take you out of the story. I just lack enough time to inspect every word I write in between my real life.

Derek was lying on the sofa clicking through the channels on the television, unable to find anything he liked.

He moved from the TV onto his iPad and still couldn’t find anything that captured his interest.

He realised that he was truly bored and had nothing to do, added with the fact that he had seen the inside walls of the apartment for too long just made him realise that if he didn’t get out then he would go clinically insane.

Five minutes later he was prepared to leave the apartment but he quickly wrote on a post it and stuck it to refrigerator in case Stiles returned and he wasn’t back yet. He took his newly repaired iPhone with him before he left the apartment.

Derek strolled around aimlessly before ending up at the local park.

When he sat down, he couldn’t help but feel very serene. For the first time in a really long time he could breathe.

With everyone being around him and being delicate with him, it felt like he could barely breathe. They were all hovering around him with bated breath, waiting to see if he might fall apart at any moment. If you’re around those people for long enough, soon you start holding your own breath.

Feeling the sun on his skin, and being out in the open by himself had immediately made him feel better.

He sat at the park until he started getting restless and then continued his aimless exploration of his surroundings. Derek came across a road that he remembered and decided that he would go down the path. He wasn’t exactly sure where the road would lead him but he kept walking.

To his surprise, he found himself standing in front of Madam Martin’s Bakery a few minutes later.

One of the last times he was at the bakery was because he and Kate had come for cake tasting.

He stood out the bakery, contemplating whether or not go in. He ultimately decided to go in because he was starving and because it wasn’t like he had anywhere else to be at that exact moment.

When Derek walked into the bakery, it felt so different to him, it still had the 1920’s diner feel but it had changed since the last time he had been there. There was a stage in the corner of the bakery and not only that but the bakery had also felt bigger than he remembered it being.

He realised that as he was taking in the changes, he was standing awkwardly in the middle of nowhere. He quickly walked up to the counter and ordered something to eat before telling the teller that he’d be sitting down in one of the booths.

Derek didn’t have to wait long before he received his meal, but he was more so surprised by the person who delivered it.

“I thought I saw your face,” Lydia’s mom said placing down Derek’s coffee and chocolate chip pancakes.

“Mrs Marti- I mean Natalie,” Derek said. “This is a pleasant surprise.”

“Really?” she asked. “You realise you are sitting in _my_ bakery.”

“I just meant that I didn’t expect to see you,” Derek laughed.

“I could say the same about you.” she smiled. “Lydia told me about your unfortunate accident. I hope you don’t find me rude in asking how you’re doing?”

“It’s okay,” he answered. “I am coping. It’s been hard but I’m just focusing on taking it a day at a time.”

“I am glad to hear that,” Natalie stated.

There was such sincerity in her voice that Derek knew, she was legitimately glad to hear that he was managing.

“Thank You,” he replied.

“Otherwise,” she added. “You’re doing well though? In non-accident related terms?”

“Yes,” he said. “I needed to get out on my own though because I felt like I was going out of mind in the apartment and with everyone constantly worrying over me. I was wandering around until I found myself end up here. It was lovely to get some time to myself.”

“Well clearly you and Lydia think alike...”

“How so?”

“They were here earlier.”

“They were?” Derek asked in surprise.

“Lydia, Danny, Allison and Stiles spent quite some time here,” she explained. “They usually come here every Friday or so but today was the first time in a while that they continued with their tradition.”

“I didn’t even know that,” Derek replied. “The offer to tag along was extended but I declined. I am glad that they got to have some time out and about.

“They did more than that,” Natalie laughed, “they even sang some karaoke.”

“Stiles was singing?”

“He actually has quite the voice on him,” she laughed. “He doesn’t sing often but that young man has a set of lung on him. The one time Lydia thought she would give him something impossible to sing well but he did an amazing job with _Rolling in the Deep_. I’ve seen a lot of people attempt Adele and he is still to this day one of the people who has sung the song best in my opinion, but I may be somewhat biased.”

Throughout their entire friendship, Derek had never known Stiles to be much of a singer, so hearing that the young man had a voice on him was quite the surprise.

“Well you learn something new every day,” Derek said.

“He actually serenaded you once evening,” Natalie said, as if she just recalled a particular memory.

“He did?” Derek laughed.

“You all came here for the first karaoke night and he started singing _L-O-V-E_ by Nat King Cole.”

“My mom loves that song,” he said. “It was my parent’s wedding song.”

“The song is a classic...”

There was moment of silence that just settled on them as she finished.

“Well I have to get back to work,” she laughed. “The boss can’t be seen resting on her ass for too long.”

“Thank you for the company,” Derek replied. “It was enjoyable.”

“Likewise,” she replied. “Though I’m sure your coffee is cold now. I’ll tell them to bring you a new cup of coffee for free.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Derek,” she smiled. “I insist.”

Natalie Martin left and made good on her promise of giving him warm coffee.

He was glad that she came over and spoken to him; she didn’t give him any pitying looks or give him looks of something being wrong with him. She just saw a man who had an experienced an accident but never making the accident be the only thing she saw of him.

Derek felt that that was what everyone else had been doing. They had started treated him like he was the accident and when everyone does that it makes him not want to be in their company.

After he finished his meal, he quickly collected his things and ordered a few donuts before he left the bakery. As he exited, he collided into someone he least expected.

“Look where the fuck you’re going assho-”

She stopped immediately upon realising who she had just walked into. Derek couldn’t help but inhale sharply when he realised who he had just knocked into.

“I’m sorry,” she apologised. “I didn’t realise-”

“No sorry,” Derek interrupted. “I should have seen where I was going.”

“How you been?”

“Uh,” Derek stammered. “Okay you?”

“Good good,” she replied, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, “Work’s been keeping me busy so yeah...”

“That’s good,” he smiled. “I’m glad for you.”

“Thanks,” she pursed.

Derek couldn’t help but feel like he was transported back to a different time. He just stood there and immediately he was reminded of why he fell for the woman before him. Her eyes drew him in and held his attention, leaving him mesmerised. There was just something about her that captured his attention; added with the fact that his old feelings decided right then to come back, suddenly sinking into his stomach like a brick.

“Where’s Baby Stil- uh Stiles?” Kate Argent quickly corrected. “I thought you two were joined by the hip these days.”

“He is out for the day,” Derek replied. “Getting some needed time away from the apartment.”

“Why’s that?”

“He has relieved of his babysitting duty,” Derek said.

“You two have a child?”

“No no no,” Derek quickly stated. “I meant babysitting me.”

“You’re a grown ass man,” Kate said. “You don’t need a babysitter. If anything he’s the one that needs a babysitter.”

Derek couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Well in his defence,” Derek replied. “He isn’t the one who just lost the last four years of his life.”

“I’m lost?”

He contemplated whether to tell her or not. It wasn’t exactly a secret that he was keeping, so it wasn’t like she was prohibited from knowing. Also it wouldn’t hurt to get additional information regarding what exactly went down between them before the split.

“I lost my memory of the past four years,” Derek finally answered.

“Bullshit,” she replied.

“I wish,” he laughed.

“Seriously?”

“It’s a long story,” Derek sighed.

“Well I’d like to hear it,” Kate replied.

“Don’t you have somewhere more important to be?”

“I can wait,” she shrugged. “Besides, it will give us time to catch up properly.”

“Well seeing as we’re still standing outside Madam Martin’s want to go grab a coffee?”

“How about we go to somewhere else instead?”

“Okay then.”

“Let’s go,” she smiled.

* * *

Stiles was getting worried.

He had found Derek’s note when he returned home but he wasn’t sure for how long the note had been there and the clock on his phone told him that it was approaching 8pm.

He had hoped that Derek would take his advice, but he had not expected that he would be out this late.

Stiles switched on the TV, letting one of the music channels play while he preoccupied himself. He tidied up around the apartment, not that it needed it, but more for his own benefit. When he was finished with that he decided that he would take a shower.

He went into his room, pulled opened his drawer and found an appropriate shirt to change into. As he closed the drawer, he couldn’t help but notice the photo of him and Derek.

It was the photo of their very first kiss that New Years Eve where Derek and Stiles were oblivious of the world and unaware of the fact that _that_ kiss would be the start of something more. It had such a special meaning for Stiles. He loved the photograph.

Stiles slowly wandered over to his closet, opened it and reach behind the first aid kit on the top shelf. He grasped a hold of what he was searching for and pulled it towards him.

He felt himself become aware of his breathing, and had to take a steadying breath as he opened the small black box. He did nothing except stare at the white gold wedding band in it, scared that it might crumple.

He felt silly for even thinking it but with everything else regarding their relationship seemingly falling to pieces, it made sense to him.

He realised that he needed to snap out if it but that was easier said than done.

“Stiles!”

Stiles was startled by the sound of a voice booming through the apartment.

Stiles quickly closed the black box and placed it back behind the first aid kit. He closed his closet and quickly went to greet Derek.

“Hi,” Stiles replied coming into the lounge. “Here you are.”

“Yeah,” Derek replied. “Sorry about that, I ended up being out longer than I anticipated.”

“It’s good,” Stiles replied. “How was your day?”

“It turned out to be better than I could’ve expected,” Derek replied.

“I am really glad to hear that,” Stiles smiled.

“Yours?”

“It was a lot of fun,” he said. “Lydia and I went to the planetarium, watched a movie...”

“Busy day.”

“... and I got to spend some time with Danny and Allison too.”

“I heard about that,” Derek replied.

“You did?” Stiles questioned. “How?”

“I went to Lydia’s mom’s bakery and she told me about your karaoke fun,” he smiled.

“What?”

“Yes,” Derek laughed.

“What a coincedence...” Stiles laughed. “What did you do today? Where were you off too?”

“Went to the park and Madam Martin’s,” he started, “and I...”

“And you what?”

Derek was about to tell Stiles the truth about bumping into Kate and then spending time with her but then Laura’s voice popped into his head:

“... _I think it would be best to steer clear of any romantic talk around Stiles. He is one of the kindest and best people I know; he feels compelled to do the right thing and sometimes the right thing is not what’s best for him. I understand that you’re eager to get back to the way things used to be between you, but I think sooner or later you’re going to realise that it is not an option for either of you...”_

If Derek knew anything it was that talking about an ex was romantic talk and if he was to follow Kate’s advice then it would best to not tell Stiles about him and Kate spending time together. If he did so then he could unintentionally hurt Stiles.

“And I just...walked around aimlessly,” Derek finally responded. “Got to get out and clear my head.”

“Okay,” Stiles nodded. “Cool.”

“Yeah,” Derek nodded.

Both men just stared at each other for a moment, before realising that they had covered everything that they wanted to say to each other.

“Uh,” Stiles started. “I was going to go shower so I’ll get back to that.”

“Okay.”

Derek was left alone in the lounge while Stiles went to shower.

He quickly found himself situated back in the same spot he was earlier today, clicking through channels but unlike this morning he was in a happier mood.

He was pleasantly surprised when he came across a movie he hadn’t watched in a long time. It was one of Kate’s favourite movies which meant that he had to watch it too many times. He initially thought that the whole thing of premise of Teen Wolf with Michael J. Fox was so laughably bad but he to admit that it had a certain charm to it.

He had been so engrossed in the movie that he didn’t even notice that Stiles had come back from his shower and was steadily working at the kitchen island for a couple of minutes already.

“I thought you hated the movie?” Stiles questioned.

“I did?” he said absently. “I don’t remember that.”

“Yeah,” Stiles said. “You said that it had something to do with a bad feeling or something.”

“I guess I got over the bad feeling then,” Derek replied.

Stiles just watched on as Derek continued watching the movie not saying a thing.

The rest of the night passed by without much else being said between them.

With every stolen glance, watching Derek as he watched his movie, Stiles started noticing that they were slowly reverting back to how they had been with each other for the past week- the silence taking a more prominent role than actual conversation.

Stiles thought that it could’ve been just the fact that they both had an exhausting day, because it was clear in the way they spoke with each other and the manner in which they spoke; but he knew that the was something more, he just didn’t know what.

The silence that hung between them in the air was filled with so many unspoken truths; some of which they both knew, some of which they didn’t. The silence that hung between them was what was slowly pulling them further and further apart from one another and neither man realised this.

The movie ended, Stiles finished with his work and soon enough the time came for both of them to turn in.

“Well,” Derek said. “I’m gonna go turn in.”

“Okay,” Stiles nodded. “I think I’m gonna go sleep too.”

They both walked to their rooms, opening the door and entering inside.

“Sleep tight,” Stiles pursed.

“Likewise,” Derek said.

As they closed their room doors and went to sleep, the only sound that could be heard throughout the apartment was one of complete and utter silence. The silence was deafening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it. You all deserve an award for sticking through all of this with me.   
> Thank you.  
> 1\. I usually write an essay here but my brain is mush since I wrote two chapters this week y’all.  
> 2\. I will explore the Derek and Kate chat or significant aspects of it in coming chapters.  
> 3\. I do promise it will be worthwhile in the end .  
> Feel free to comment/review/state likes and dislikes.   
> Find me on the tumblr: www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com  
> Title: Snap Out of It – Arctic Monkeys   
> I didn’t realise I liked the Arctic Monkeys as much as I do, or rather that I knew of their music as much as I did. Very cool atmospheric music.


	15. Bleeding Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Hope you enjoy.

Derek went to answer the door.

“Did you forget your key-” he asked before realising who was at the door.

“If I had a key then I wouldn’t need to knock then would I Der-bear,” Kate Argent replied.

“Kate what are you doing here?”

“Don’t tell me you forget about our plan?” she hedged.

It took Derek a second to recall his conversation with Kate and another second to realise what they had decided on.

“The work thing?”

“Phew,” she sighed, “you nearly had me worried that your memory was truly pathetic. Now I know you’re just slow...”

“Funny,” he replied.

“So you’re going to invite a girl in or am I just gonna wait outside?”

“Sorry,” he apologised. “Come inside...”

Derek moved aside, slowly allowing her into the apartment.

“Well,” she pursed, “isn’t this...quaint.”

“Kate I know you well enough to know that that is code for small,” Derek retorted.

“Well you said it, not me,” she answered, raising her hands as if to show her innocence.

Derek just laughed at that.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?” he hedged. “We have some filter or instant coffee?”

“Are you trying to kill me?” Kate deadpanned. “Get dressed. You are not going out with me dressed like some hobo, and then we’ll go somewhere with _proper_ caffeine.”

Derek had been in sweats and a comfortable t-shirt when Kate arrived. He had been very comfortable with what he had been wearing but since Kate was a successful model, and now had her own modelling agency, he understood that she had a certain level of appearance to maintain.

He quickly changed into a semi-casual look wearing a pair of tight fitting jeans and collared shirt.  When he returned a few minutes later, he was surprised to find Kate staring at the photos of him and Stiles.

“Well isn’t this picture of the happy couple cute,” she smirked.

“They’re nice,” Derek answered nonchalantly.

“Nice?” she smiled. “Oh come on Derek, even I realise that this is a stunning picture of a couple in love. I’ve never seen you like this before...”

“That may be true,” he considered, “but it’s just a picture. Stiles forgot to put it away and I am not ashamed of it so hiding it would accomplish nothing. Stiles and I had a relationship and now we don’t. It’s just a nice picture of Stiles and I.”

“But you’re smiling,” she persisted.

“So?”

“You never smile.”

“I do,” he defended.

“But not like this,” she replied. “I’ve never seen you look this...happy.”

“Kate it’s just a picture,” he sighed. “You’re putting too much thought into it. Let it go.”

“Okay then,” she surrendered, placing down the picture. “I’ll let it go.”

“Thank you.”

“I still can’t believe you and Stilinksi are no longer an item,” she said. “Is it wrong that I take some pleasure in it?”

“Are you going to continue badgering me about or are we going to go?”

“Fine then,” she smiled. “Let’s get going.”

“Lead the way,” he replied.

“My pleasure,” she winked.

Derek quickly locked up the apartment and once they were on their way, it didn’t take him long to realise that they were going to Madam Martin’s.

“Madam Martin’s?”

“Is that a problem?” she enquired.

“No,” he replied. “I just thought we were going somewhere more highbrow.”

“Give me some credit at least,” she laughed.”Even I know that they have the best caffeine in Beacon Hills.”

“Fine,” Derek smiled, “I promise to not underestimate Kate Argent again.”

“You better not,” she winked.

Derek couldn’t help but laugh.

He was reminded of what initially attracted him to her- her feistiness. The rambunctious side of her personality was something he found so captivating. Kate did whatever she wanted and if someone ever tried limiting her, she would show them that their limits don’t apply to her.

He knew that with someone like that, there could be occasions where such behaviour could be to her detriment but he trusted Kate’s judgement.

“So,” she continued, “go inside and get my usual, your usual and then whatever Peter has?”

“Aren’t we going in?”

“It’s best that you get to Peter bright and early,” Kate replied. “That way you get to explain why it would be a great idea for you to start working again while it’s still fresh.”

“Okay then.”

Derek quickly ordered and retrieved their usual coffee orders, purchasing Kate’s favourite croissant treat in the process and then returned to the car.

“I really don’t get why they don’t have a drive thru,” Kate grumbled.

“Because that removes the intimacy from it,” Derek smiled. “Madam Martin’s is all about the making time for one another and personal touch.”

“I never got that about this town,” Kate replied as Derek handed her the caramel latte, “everyone is all about the personal. Seattle is never like this...”

“Why are you even in Beacon Hills?” Derek asked. “I know you told me that you’re vacationing here but of all the places to vacation you chose Beacon Hills? I know you wouldn’t voluntarily come here.”

“Today is not about me Sherlock,” Kate deflected. “Today is about helping you get back into the regular routine.”

“Fine,” Derek relented, presenting her the croissant he bought. “As a thank you for helping me, I got you your favourite croissant.”

“Are you trying to make me fat Derek Hale?” she mischievously accused.

“I know better than that,” he smiled.

“Good boy,” she winked. “Now, let’s go get you your job back okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded.

As they drove to where their destination, Derek felt nerves increase.

It didn’t take long for Kate to notice that Derek became less talkative. She knew the man well enough to know that when he went quiet, it was because he was particularly nervous. This wasn’t the best thing for him because sometimes he would get into his own head too much.

She knew that she had to distract him.

“You still in for tonight right?”

“I am not sure...”

“Oh come on,” she said. “You’ve been complaining about being bored at the apartment so you really have no other option but to hang out with us.”

“It’s Stiles I’m mostly concer-”

“Screw Stiles,” Kate retorted. “You need to have some fun on your own. Stiles is a grown man he can take care of himself.”

“I know but-”

“No buts,” Kate cut-off. “You and going out tonight and you’re going to have fun okay?”

“I am not so sure about it,” Derek replied.

“Listen here after how you ended things with us you owe me Hale,” she stated. “I could have held a grudge and been a total bitch but I had moved past it and I am helping you out with something when in actuality I could be spending time at the gym or doing something of greater importance.”

Derek didn’t know how things between them ended, but gather from how Kate was speaking, he gathered that it wasn’t such a good thing. He instantly felt guilty, and considering that he was rejecting her offer to go out when he didn’t deserve her considerate behaviour only made him feel guiltier.

With Kate having said that, it made him worried that he must have royally screwed up with her. If he was going to make up for it he would have to start by accepting her offer to going out.

“Okay,” he said. “I’m in.”

“Really?” she smirked.

“Yes,” he replied.

“Good boy.”

In their conversation, he had been so busy thinking about their chat that he forgot that they were going to the company that he co-owned until Kate stopped the car in front of a very tall building.

“Here we are,” she said.

“Here?” he gasped.

“Yes,” Kate replied. “So be a man and get out of my car. I want to know how it goes, so tonight I expect to hear that you were badass and not a pussy okay?”

  “Okay,” he laughed.

Soon it was just him, the Peter’s coffee in hand and the large building that loomed before him. Derek took a deep breath before he took started towards whatever awaited for him inside.

 

* * *

 

Derek knocked on the office door, “You busy?”

“Derek what are you doing here?” Peter replied, surprised by his nephew’s appearance.

“I thought I’d come say hello and see what _our_ company is like," Derek answered, not entirely confident in what he was doing.

“Well,” Peter stated, “I am very surprised to see you, but it's a pleasant surprise.”

 “If I am inconveniencing you then-”

“Don’t be silly,” Peter replied, rolling his eyes. “I really am glad to see you Derek.”

“Thanks,” he smiled, remembering the coffee in his hand. “I brought your favourite coffee.”

“You did?” Peter asked. “Thank you for that.”

“Pleasure.”

“How did you get here?”

“Uh...took a cab,” he lied.

“I thought Stiles would’ve dropped you off,” Peter stated, taking a sip of his drink.

“No,” Derek answered, “got here by myself.”

Derek felt bad for lying but he wasn’t exactly going to tell his uncle that Kate Argent had dropped him off right outside and then drove off. Considering how the last time he brought up Kate’s name and noticed how antsy his uncle got, it was clear that it would lead to opening a can of worms that he was in no mood to deal with. So against his better judgement, he chose to lie to his uncle as well.

“How did you know where to go if Stiles didn’t drop you off?”

“The internet,” Derek laughed. “It wasn’t particularly difficult to find.”

“Okay,” Peter nodded. “Well it’s nice that you wanted to see how things are. You could’ve called me and I would have picked you up.”

“It was a spur of the moment decision,” he lied.

“Well is there anything in particular I could do for you since you’re here?”

“Uh actually,” Derek started, “I was hoping that I could start working again?”

“You sure,” his uncle tentatively started.

“I have been sitting around the apartment going out my mind for the past two weeks,” Derek replied, “I need something to occupy my mind. I feel like now is the right time for me to get back into work. The doctor did mention that getting back into my usual routine as quickly as possible was what’s best. I’ve been taking it easy and not doing anything that would jeopardise my recovery. I know my limits and if it reached a level of where I wouldn’t be able to cope, I’d speak up. Besides, it’s not like I’d be starting with anything too strenuous.”

“I am all for having you back,” Peter answered. “I just don’t want to do anything to hurt your recovery. Have you spoken to Stiles about this?”

“I don’t understand what it is with everyone needing Stiles’ approval on what _I_ do?” Derek snapped.

“Listen Derek,” his uncle started, “it’s not that we don’t trust your judgement, it’s just that we don’t want to put you in harm’s way.”

“I understand that,” Derek answered, regaining his composure. “But I feel like everything I do or want to do with my life needs Stiles’ approval. I have been sitting around and doing nothing. I am ready for this Peter.”

Peter pursed his lips, contemplating everything that his Derek had said.

“Well if you feel ready for this,” he eventually voiced,” then who am I argue otherwise? But promise me you’re going to take it easy.”

“I will,” he promised, sealing their agreement with a firm handshake.

Derek didn’t think that his uncle would be as receptive as he was, but he was delighted at how it all turned out. He thought that there would be a bigger resistance from his uncle but apparently he had pleaded his case well enough. He wasn’t just glad, he was feeling pretty elated about it; finally he’d get to return to work and do something with his time other than vegetating in front of the television.

“Good luck telling your mother that you are going back to work,” Peter smiled.

“I forgot about that part,” Derek sighed.

“She is not going to be happy with you,” Peter laughed.

“And what makes you think that she is going to be impressed with you,” Derek countered.

“I can handle Talia,” Peter replied.

“Don’t let her hear you say that,” Derek smiled, “or she would make you regret that.”

Both men started laughing.

 “Peter,” a feminine voice interrupted, “I'll need your approval on these designs for the- Oh My God Derek! What are you doing here?!”

Derek was caught off guard by when the young woman suddenly wrapped him into a tight hug.

“Er...hi,” he stammered.

“How are doing?” she eagerly asked.

“Good thank you,” he replied. “I don't mean to be rude, but who are you.”

“Oh my god,” she stammered. “I am so sorry, I forgot and just got caught up in seeing you-”

“It's okay,” he replied.

“Derek,” Peter said, “this is Kira Yukimura she’s from the Art department. She is a graphic designer and occasional photographer.”

“Nice to meet you Kira,” Derek smiled.

“This is so trippy,” Kira broadly smiled.

Peter loudly cleared his throat, “you wanted my approval on which designs?”

“Oh right,” Kira answered, remembering that she came in with a purpose, “Erica wants final approval before we head into the meeting with Ellen DeGeneres.”

“You’re seeing them when?”

“On Tuesday.”

Peter nodded as he and Kira quickly looked over the designs, writing the occasional note on a post it and attaching it to the designs.

Derek noticed that he had never seen his uncle looked quite comfortable in his surroundings; almost like he was thriving in it. Derek wondered how he fitted into the business because it seemed like his uncle had managed to keep things together while he was M.I.A, but he assumed that the four years he had no recollection off had taught him the rules of the trade.

A few minutes later they were done and the designs were approved.

“Tell Erica I might make an appearance if the schedule permits,” he said.

“You know she won’t like that,” she laughed.

“Well,” he grinned, “she’ll just have to deal with me dropping in.”

“I’ll say it in passing so she won’t bite my head off,” Kira debated.

Kira quickly left and Peter returned his attention to Derek, “Sorry about that...”

“Don’t apologise,” Derek answered. “You look like you are perfectly in your element.”

“Well I am,” he smiled. “And I really have you to thank for it...”

“Keep that in mind when I start screwing up in the coming days,” Derek laughed.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine Derek,” Peter grinned. “Remember, our deal is that you take it easy! Nothing strenuous or hectic?”

Derek nodded.

“Any plans for the rest of the day?” Peter asked, after a moment.

“Maybe,” Derek hedged. “Just taking it as it comes.”

“Good-”

“You?”

“Jennifer has a school concert so I’ll be attending that,” Peter sighed.

“Sounds fun,” Derek smiled.

Peter gave his nephew a blank stare, “I love my wife, but those concerts become tedious very quickly.”

“I can imagine,” Derek laughed. “How are things with her and the kids doing?”

“They are good,” Peter smiled. “Jennifer’s birthday is soon so I’m trying to figure out what the kids and I could get her.”

“That’s always fun,” Derek laughed.

“Tell me about it,” Peter replied, indicating how stressful it actually was.

Derek was about to reply when they were again interrupted by Kira return, “I am so sorry to bother but I think I left my lucky pen here.”

“You have a lucky pen?” Peter asked, seemingly perplexed.

“You don’t?” she replied searching the desk, then the floor.

“Well I mostly type stuff on my iPad,” Peter replied.

“Found it!” she exclaimed from under the desk.

“Would hate to think you lost your lucky pen,” Peter deadpanned.

“Are you being sarcastic?” Kira questioned.

“Whatever gave you that idea,” he retorted. “Why do you have a lucky pen? I just use any pen cause that’s what most of us do.”

“Oh,” she blushed. “I thought everyone had one...”

Both men stared disbelievingly at the young woman.

“Uh,” she stammered. “I’ll go.”

“Kira,” Peter stated, as if he just got an idea, “from your pen emergency I gather you aren’t particularly busy at the moment?”

“Uh,” she blushed, “I’m just throwing around some ideas for the Cadbury print campaign.”

“So you’re free?”

“Yes,” she admitted.

“Would you mind showing Derek around? Give him a tour of the place?”

“I’d love to,” Kira beamed. “It would be my honour.”

“Great.”Peter replied. “I’ll leave Derek to your capable hands.”

“Awesome,” she cheered.

The look on Kira’s face was like she had just escaped being punished from the principle, and not the sexy kind of punishment.

Derek greeted his uncle and followed Kira out of his office. She showed him the main offices then to the different departments. It was easy to see that the company had a very creative floor play, forgoing the typical cubical setup for something that made the space seem less formal. 

“You know,” Kira suddenly squealed, “this is so weird but amazing and cool. I’m showing the boss around his own company! Me! Kira Yukimura!! How often does _that_ happen?”

“I’d say this is a once in a lifetime experience,” Derek answered blankly.

“Oh my god,” she gasped. “You’re right! We should take a selfie!”

“A  selfie?” Derek quizzed.

“You know,” she stated, “like when you take a picture of yourself.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you do that?!” Kira enthusiastically replied, as if the answer was obvious.

Derek didn’t want to pose for the photo, but he didn’t want to be rude towards the woman. He pulled his lips into a straight line as she grinned widely beside him.

“I like this one,” she replied showing him the picture.

Derek just agreed because he was not going to pose for another picture.

They continued with tour, but he came to sudden halt when he saw his name on the glass door.

“Oh yeah,” Kira replied, “you probably want to check out your office.”

He walked to the glass door and pushed it open.

He could tell that it was his office, given the minimalist approach it had going on.  On the walls had framed certificates while below that were cabinets. He pulled one opened and was not surprised to see work documents within there. He quickly closed the drawer and took a closer inspection of his desk.

Besides the desktop, calendar and stationary it was pretty average desk, barring one photo.

Derek noticed that there was an exact copy of the photo that in the apartment; the same one from Peter’s wedding where he and Stiles were both in tuxedos, and he was kissing Stiles on the cheek.

It didn’t dawn on him until that moment that the fact that a picture of him exists where he was truly happy. In his current mind, that was something that would have never existed; seeing how he had just smiled for a photo with Kira, the picture on his desk and the one in the apartment proved that he could smile.

The picture had him half smiling and half puckering as he was kissing Stiles on the cheek. It could have easily turned out dumb or silly but something had worked out and the picture was utter perfection.

It was not unfathomable to guess that Stiles had truly made him happy that he couldn’t help but contain his joy. It was a puzzling thought but one he imagined made the most sense. Kate had even pointed out earlier that day that he looked happy. Derek was never unhappy; he guessed that he might come across that way to other people but he just saw himself as content.

Clearly the photo had to have a lot of sentimentality for him if had had another copy of it in his office.

“I like that one,” Kira suddenly announced, bringing him back from his thoughts.

Derek quickly refocused and decided it would be best to leave the office.

“Clearly I do too,” he replied, closing the door.

“You should hang out with us tonight?” Kira continued.

“I would love to but I already have plans,” he answered honestly.

“Maybe another time then,” she replied, her enthusiasm slightly doused.

“Yes,” he smiled, “Definitely...”

“Well,” Kira said. “Let me continue with the tour. To the I.T Department we go!”

Derek realised that the young lady was awfully excitable and somewhat awkward, she clearly had to be amazing at her job otherwise Peter wouldn’t have hired her. Peter never like excitable people, he finds them strange; and Kira was the type of person who seemed naturally excitable without any caffeine involved.

Derek remembered that Peter wasn’t too thrilled by Stiles the first time he met him, but Stiles could easily hold him own against Peter so he gave as good as he got. In the past few weeks, he noticed that that respect for one another had clearly grown into the friendly bond they shared today.

“I’m right behind you,” Derek said, following Kira to wherever she was leading him. 

 

* * *

 

Derek was relaxing later that evening when Stiles returned to the apartment.

“Hey,” Stiles greeted, walking in. “Sorry I'm late. I was grabbing pizza.”

“Oh it's fine,” Derek replied. “I actually already ate.”

“You did?”

“Yes,” Derek stated, “I am on going out tonight so I wasn’t sure what time I would be leaving. I decided to eat in case my ride arrived and you haven’t showed up yet.”

“Oh okay,” Stiles replied, sounding more surprised than he intended.

“Yeah,” Derek shifted awkwardly.

“Okay.” Stiles nodded. “I thought that we would all get to hang out and have fun. I invited Scott, Allison, Lydia, Jackson, Danny, Ethan over for a games night...oh and Isaac and Cora.”

“I am sure it would’ve been fun but I unfortunately can’t go back on my word,” Derek replied.

Stiles had come up with the idea of having a games night and having some fun with their friends instead of staying in and letting work get in the way. He and Derek weren’t exactly on the best speaking terms either so he had hoped that a night of total abandonment would be good and get them to a better place with each other but clearly Derek had other things that were more important.

“It’s okay,” Stiles replied, hiding his disappointment. “So who you going out with?

“Uh...” Derek swallowed. “Some people from work.”

Derek felt bad for lying to Stiles but he couldn't exactly tell the man that he was going with Kate for a few of her friends for drinks. Telling him absolutely means breaking his agreement with Laura of not engaging in romance talk, and talking about Kate around Stiles was a no-go.

“Work?” Stiles replied. “I didn't know that you were in contact with them.”

“I went there today and bumped into a few people so they invited me out...” Derek replied.

“I thought you were going to stay home.”

“I got bored and it popped into my mind that maybe it was time for me to get back to work...or at the least see what I do for a living.”

 “Wasn't it agreed upon that you would take things easy?”

“I have been doing nothing but taking it easy,” Derek answered. “I feel like my brain has been turning into mush from sitting on that sofa so regularly Stiles, and while I do love my family, I can't be with them all the time. I need to work; I might just lose my mind if I don't.”

Ever since Kate mentioned that he should be proactive in his recovery and not being so complacent, he realised that she had a point. It was his life and he was supposed to be the one living it and not letting everyone else make decisions about it.

That was what he was doing. He understood that they were naturally apprehensive about the idea of him returning to work but they had to trust his judgement and know that he wouldn’t do anything that put his recovery at risk.

“You and the rest of my family,” Derek concluded, “will have to trust that I know my limits. I wouldn’t jeopardise my own recovery.”

Stiles recognised that Derek had a point. He couldn’t expect to be held up in the apartment for much longer. Dr Deaton did mention that he should get back to his routine, and if he felt like working was what he wanted then he knew that Derek would do it.

As worried as they all were for his recovery, he seriously doubted that Derek would put himself in danger of suffering a relapse. They had to trust that Derek knew what he was doing; it was his life after all.

“I understand that it must get frustrating to have everyone treating you like an invalid,” Stiles replied. “I am sorry if it came across like that but I...we just wanted you to make sure that you were recovering properly.”

“That’s all good and well,” he replied, visibly annoyed, “but the issue is that everyone keeps making me feel like a backseat driver to my own life. I think that going go to work is the right for me to do...”

 Stiles saw that Derek staying home was not doing him any good. They were only going to make harder on everyone if they road-blocked him.

“...and just to clarify I am not asking for permission to do this but I would be glad to have your support.”

Stiles was gobsmacked because he had never known Derek to talk to him in such a manner. When they were just friends and even in their relationship, Derek had never been particularly abrasive or aggressive towards Stiles.

 “Okay then,” he nodded, unable to say anything else.

“Thank you,” Derek replied.

The two men just stared at each other, both men feeling like strangers to the other, as the silence lived between them.

Derek realised that he had unnecessarily taken the defensive with Stiles. He understood where the man was coming from, and he didn’t mean to react how he did, but it was his frustrations and the complications in his relationship with Stiles that was getting the better of him.

 He was about to apologise when they were interrupted by the simultaneous knock on the apartment door and his ringing phone.

Stiles walked to the door, taking a moment to compose himself before he opened the door.

“Hey guys,” he smiled, “Come inside.”

He welcomed his brother, Allison, Lydia and Jackson into the apartment, hugging and kissing his friends when appropriate.

“How you doing Jackson?” Stiles smiled. “It’s been ages since I saw you.”

“I know,” he replied. “I am great thanks, and yourself?”

“Good,” he lied.

“Here’s wine we brought with,” he smiled.

“Awesome,” he said. “You can go into the kitchen and pour us all a glass.”

“Will do.”

Stiles just closed the door when Derek was making his way towards the door, ending his conversation on the phone.”

“Well that is my ride,” Derek announced. “I must be on my way.”

“What?” Allison stated. “You’re not staying?”

“Sorry,” he apologised. “I had already had plans before I found out about the game evening.”

“That’s a pity,” Lydia replied.  “It would have been nice to catch up with you.”

“I know,” he smiled. “I am really sorry for bailing.”

“Don’t worry,” Lydia smiled. “We’ll take care of Stiles.”

Derek just smiled at that.

“Well have fun,” Stiles replied, opening the door for Derek.

“Likewise,” he replied, exiting the apartment door behind him.

Derek felt bad for leaving Stiles they way he did. He didn’t expect to get frustrated with the man when telling him about work.

Things were already awkward with Stiles and he didn’t want to make things tenser but it seems like no matter what things only further declined between them.

“ _The guy frikken loves you so much, he'd put your welfare about his own emotional state,”_ Laura’s voice rang in his head. Everything Stiles had been doing had been for the betterment of his welfare. The games night, the times when he would make an effort to help him with stuff and giving him the option of moving back into the apartment he had lived in for the last four years; all so he could gather some sense of what his live was like before the crash. It was all for him that Stiles was doing it and if he returned that by causing the young man agony that he would not forgive himself.

As much as he really hated lying about Kate, he had to believe that he was doing it to avoid Stiles getting hurt. He didn’t want to lie more than he was and the only way for that was to refrain from speaking. He was trying to salvage their friendship but he was so scared that something might slip that keeping quiet seemed like a better option.

He tried clearing his head as he made his way to the car and was surprised to find Kate standing a little to the side taking a phone call.

Derek noticed that as Kate seemed slightly agitated. He couldn’t hear what was happening but her body language clearly indicated that whatever conversation she was currently engage in on the phone, it was not fun.

“Sorry about that,” she replied after ending the call.

“Is everything alright?” Derek asked.

“Yeah,” she stated, “nothing except some imbecile from work.”

Derek could sense that something was up, but he wasn’t going to be the one to press her about it when he had no right to. He was already making up some indiscretion that he doesn’t remember; prying into something that she wants to keep private would go against that.

“Okay then,” he smiled, as they both climbed into the car.

“You’re ready to have some fun and go party up a storm?”she smiled, changing her entire demeanour.

“Yeah sure,” he smiled.

“Then let’s go paint the town red!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking through all of this with me. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.  
> 1\. Sorry for the delay. Real life took its toll on me- I was mentally exhausted and needed to regenerate.  
> 2\. There is a lot happening in this chapter, I am aware that it may seem sprawling. I did notice as I was writing but to give adequate weight to everything I do have to cover a lot of ground. Within the next four chapters a lot plot threads will be resolved so patience young grasshoppers.
> 
> Feel free to comment/review/state likes and dislikes. Anything you want clarified or etc?
> 
> I just saw that I hit the 100 kudo mark and I am beyond ecstatic. Thank you so so much for making this my most review/commented story. You literally made my week. Awesome pick-me up. 
> 
> Find me on the tumblr: www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com
> 
> Title: Bleeding Out – Imagine Dragons  
> I love this tune by Imagine Dragons. It is just so amazing. The agony in Dan’s voice (oh hey another Dan...only this time it’s Dan Reynolds and not Dan Smith of Bastille) as he starts the first line “I’m bleeding out...” is amazing. Music is just amazing.
> 
> “’Cause I’m bleeding out  
> So if the last thing that I do  
> Is bring you down  
> I’ll bleed out for you.”


	16. I Wish I Could Tell You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Enjoy

“Hi Derek,” Dr Deaton greeted, walking into the examining room. “How are you doing?”

“Good thanks Doc,” Derek smiled. “Yourself?

 “Good,” the doctor replied. “You seem in a good mood?”

“Well I have a lot to be in a good mood about,” he hedged.

“I am very pleased to hear that,” Deaton replied. “What about? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“Work is going great, social life is good and I finally got my car back,” Derek answered. “It took the insurance people a while to figure out everything since I couldn’t remember most of it...”

“I am glad you’re happy about the car,” the doctor laughed.“You’re back at work?”

“Yes,” Derek replied. “Sitting in the apartment was torture so I decided that it was time to go back to work.”

“I hope you’re not overworking yourself?” Deaton pressed.

“I know my limits Dr Deaton,” Derek answered. “Just like I’ve told my family, I wouldn’t put myself at risk of overworking myself.”

“Okay then,” Dr Deaton nodded.

Dr Deaton went about his examination; looking at Derek’s pupil response, examining how his injuries have healed and asking Derek a few routine questions which he answered without any issues.

“I see that your bruising has healed and your scars are nearly non-existent,” the Dr replied. “Your pupil response appears normal and you seem well. Any headaches or anything feel out of the ordinary for you?”

“Not recently,” Derek answered. “Everything feels pretty much as normal as to be expected.”

“Well I am glad to hear that,” Deaton replied. “It’s good sign.”

“It is?” Derek replied.

“Yes,” Dr Deaton answered. “It means that your brain activity has returned to its normal pattern and that you’re processing everything that has happened.”

“What does it mean for my lost memories?” Derek asked, out of curiosity.

“It’s uncertain,” Deaton replied. “Like I said before, one morning you might wake up and your memories might come back, it might come back partially or it may never return at all.”

“Okay,” Derek nodded. 

“Sorry I can’t offer anything more conclusive on the matter Derek,” Dr Deaton replied.

“It’s okay,” he said.“It just feels like you’ve put your car keys down beside you but when you look again it’s gone.”

“I can understand that it must be frustrating,” Deaton sympathised,“but the brain is very complex. It still surprises the most experienced neurosurgeons from time to time, but I digress. You mentioned earlier that you returned to work? How is that going if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I am working in the company that I co-own with my uncle,” Derek answered. “It’s been great, a bit frustrating at times but good.”

“What is it exactly you do?”

“I’ve been learning a lot,” Derek replied. “The first week was just sitting in on meetings and learning about all the different departments within the company.”

“That seems intensive,” the Dr stated.

“Well it is fun,” Derek said. “My uncle keeps checking on me, ensuring that I’m okay and learning everything I can without overloading myself. I didn’t know what to expect but so far work has been good.”

“Just promise me you won’t overwork yourself?” Dr Deaton warned.

“Promise,” he laughed.

“Otherwise,” Deaton concluded, “everything else is in order so unless you feel compelled to see me, we are done.”

“Seriously?” Derek asked.

“Absolutely,” Deaton laughed.

“No offence,” Derek said, “but that’s the best news you ever given me Dr Deaton. Meeting you was great and all but I hope that I don’t have to return.”

“None taken,” he laughed. “I understand.”

Derek followed the doctor out of the examining room and bid the man a farewell. Deaton quickly greeted Derek’s mother, who had been waiting outside for her son, before he left to do his rounds.

“All good?” Talia asked.

“Yes,” he smiled. “I don’t have to come back to the hospital either.”

“That’s great,” his mother smiled.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Thanks for coming with mom.”

“Pleasure,” she smiled, before looking at her watch. “You feeling hungry? It’s still early...we could grab something to eat before you go to work?”

“I really think I should get going,” he replied.

“Derek Hale,” Talia scolded. “I barely see you, are you really going to deprive a mother the opportunity of spending time with her only son?”

“Your level of emotional manipulation knows no bounds,” he grinned.

“I am a mother,” she replied. “I don’t manipulate, I strongly suggest.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“So?” she pressed.

“Sounds great Mom.”

“Perfect.”

Just as they were leaving left, he felt his pocket vibrate, and when he checked it he saw that he received a text.

Kate _:     How’d it go?_

Derek _: Good thanks. Doc says I’m all good._

Kate _:     Cool. We still on for tonight?_

Derek _: But we just went out last night._

Kate _:     Don’t be such a baby_ **(- ___-)**

Derek: _Fine, but I am not taking part in vodka vulture_.. _._

 _The horror I witnessed last night proved that no one won_.

Kate:     _Lol. Sourwolf._

Derek _: No amount of baiting will get me to play that game._

Kate: _You’re such a pussy Derek Hale._

Derek: _Not listening *sings Smurf song*_

Kate _:     Haha. Just you wait- I always get my way Hale._

_One way or another_ **(^_^)**

Derek: _Bring. It. On. Argent_

 

“And that?” his mother asked, noticing the cheerful expression on her son’s face.

“It’s nothing mom,” he replied, placing his phone away. “Just someone from work sending me a funny meme...”

“I’ll pretend to understand this craze your generation has with this meme thing,” she sighed.

Derek chuckled, “I could explain it to over brunch?”

“Please don’t,” she said, “because I fear I may become dumber in the process.”

“You say that now but soon enough you’ll be sending me cat memes,” he warned.

“I will not be won over but a bunch of cats,” she retorted.

“Time will tell,” he smirked.

 

* * *

 

“So,” Talia Hale pressed. “Are you going to tell me what’s up or am I going to need to pull it from you?”

“I am not sure what you’re talking about,” he replied before taking a bite of his pasta.

“I am talking about the fact,” she said, “that you could have asked Stiles to take you for your check-up instead of me. I know he would have easily agreed to come with.”

“Stiles is very busy with work,” he shifted uncomfortably, “and I didn’t want to burden him with it.”

“I know Stiles,” she replied. “It wouldn’t have been a burden for him.”

“In between both of our work schedules,” he sighed, “and going out with people from work, I barely see Stiles these days. In the past week we’ve only had supper together once or twice and the rest of the time we only get to see each other over breakfast for a few minutes before the other has to leave.”

“You sure that’s it?”

“I promise mom,” he replied. “It’s not like I’m purposefully avoiding Stiles.”

“Okay.”

Derek felt bad because while he wasn’t avoiding Stiles, he didn’t go out of his way to see the man either. What he had told his mother had been true for the most part as it was really their social lives and work schedules that prohibited them  from seeing as much of each other as what they used to.

Talia knew that something was up and she had sensed as much when she had spoken to Stiles on the phones days prior. The young man had said the same thing that Derek had and knowing the type of men they both were, it was clear that there was something up with the two of them.

She knew that whenever things got particularly busy with their schedules, then they would make a plan to see each other. Even when they were friends, it was a priority for them that they see their friends so they made time for each other.

Clearly this excuse of them being too busy for each other was more that they didn’t _want_ to make time for each other.

“You know what?” she said. “I think that it is time for another get-together. How about Saturday?”

Derek knew better than to object to that because he knew how vital family time was to his mother, especially after his uncle and father’s death. His father had even made them promise that they would continue to make time for each other before the brain cancer took over.

It had been their thing ever since that they would always make time for each other no matter how busy they got.

“I assume I don’t have to tell you that Stiles is invited as well?”

“I figured as much,” he nodded.

“It would be rude of us if he wasn’t,” she replied. “Tell him that his brother and Allison are more than welcome to come along.”

“Okay.”

Derek knew his mother well enough to know that the gathering would also be used for prying the information that she wanted out of them.

“How is Cora doing?” he asked, hoping to get the attention off of himself.

“She is good,” she replied. “She and Isaac had a great time with everyone else at the games evening last week.”

“I heard so,” he replied.

“ _I_ heard that you had another event that evening?”

“Yes,” he sighed. “It was something that I had already agreed to and it would have been rude of me to agree to show up then just bail.”

Talia nodded. Something was clearly up, because Derek rarely got evasive unless he was keeping something secret that he didn’t want to reveal. She decided to let it go because if she pressed him about it then it would only cause further tensions. She knew that Saturday would be when could find out what was going on with her son.

“I understand,” she replied. “Otherwise Cora is fine, she is still enjoying her studies. The summer program she enrolled in just came to an end but she is still waiting for her results from that.”

“I don’t know where she gets time for all the things that she does,” Derek replied, visibly relaxed.

“The same can be said for you,” she grinned.

“Must have inherited our hard work either from our mother,” he grinned.

“If that is your way of saying that you need to get back to work then I am choosing to ignore it.”

Derek couldn’t stop himself from laughing at that.

“Thank you for brunch mom,” he smiled. “I unfortunately need to back to work. I will see you on Saturday if not before then.”

“It was pleasure,” she grinned. “Just don’t work too hard.”

“I won’t.”

Derek rose, hugged his mother farewell and then quickly paid for their meal on the way out of the restaurant.

Talia had come to appreciate the limited time she had with her children because they were all so busy that she was hardly able to spend as much time with them as she liked.  As she watched Derek leave, she couldn’t help but be reminded of her husband.

 Derek had really grown to be such an independent man, much like his father and she worried that with everything going on that independence might in time lead to loneliness if he isn’t careful with how he handles things with work.

There was so much going on in her son’s life, and while the situation with him and Stiles did worry her, she knew that whatever it was that had those two avoiding each other would work out and they would eventually be in a good place with each other. At least, that was what she _hoped_.

 

* * *

 

 

Stiles inhaled deeply before entering the apartment.

He wasn’t sure when he started doing this, but it had become a ritual of sorts where he would take a second or two for himself before entering into the apartment. It was almost like he was bracing himself for something.

He quickly went inside, not sure what to expect on the other side. Derek had been going out so often these past couple of weeks that he wasn’t sure if the man would be home or not.

“Derek?” he called out. “You home?”

No response.

Stiles was uncertain whether Derek’s absence was a good thing or not these days. Their relationship was currently in limbo and he wasn’t sure if they were coming or going. It was confusing but he guessed it was just how things would be between them.

He quickly placed the bags of groceries onto the kitchen counter and started unpacking it.

As he continued with the menial task, he noticed a stillness inside the apartment. There were regularly silences inside the apartment but now it felt still. It was noticeably different from the silences between him and Derek, oddly enough the stillness felt less heavy to him.

He quickly cleared his head, and decided to pour himself a glass of water.

“Stiles?”

Stiles jumped at the sudden sound of the voice behind him. He almost dropped the glass of water within in his hand.Stiles felt his breath catch in his throat when he turned around and saw Derek standing there.

It was only when he took in the site of the man before him did he actually dropped the glass of water in his hand.

Derek was standing in the kitchen, wearing the reading glasses, pants, but no shirt to be seen.

Stiles felt momentarily disorientated. He felt a rush of emotion suddenly come over him and settle right in the pit of his stomach.

“Stiles are you okay?”

Stiles quickly remembered where he was and refocused on the present.

“Uh... yeah sorry,” Stiles started. “You just surprised me...”

“Sorry,” Derek apologised. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“I thought you were out,” Stiles stammered, trying to calm his thudding heart.

“I was in my room,” Derek answered. “I had my headphones on sorry.”

“Okay,” Stiles nodded.

“You sure your okay?” Derek asked, inching his way closer to the Stiles.

“Yeah sorry,” Stiles tried laughing, moving away from Derek.

“You look a little pale, almost like you’ve seen a ghost or something?”

“You just gave me a fright.”

“Again,” Derek started. “I am sorry.”

Stiles quickly moved to retrieve the broom and scoop, because he needed something to focus on other than the feeling in his stomach.

“Where did you find those?” Stiles said, indicating the glasses.

“They were in my desk draw at work,” Derek said. “I never knew I had reading glasses, I just started wearing them.”

“They suit you,” Stiles answered.

“Thanks,” Derek replied.

Stiles didn’t know had happened, but he felt his body react in a way he hadn’t anticipated- sweaty palms, dry mouth, the tightening of his pants.

There was something about Derek’s appearance that made him feel like he had been seeing the man for the first time. It was as if he had old feelings coming back, except for Stiles the old feelings were rather feelings that he had been trying to ignore and move past.

Seeing the man before him like that had transported him took to the days when he and Derek would be curled up in bed. Derek would be reading the latest book from his favourite crime thriller author, Deon Meyer, while Stiles would either be rereading John Green’s books, the Harry Potter books or have the latest John Scalzi sci-fi book in hand.

It was just him and Derek, simple and completely okay to be beside one another. Stiles always fell asleep first and then somewhere in the middle of the night, instead of finding himself in the same position, Derek would always place his book on the bedside table and they would end cuddling.

It was like Derek used to say that holding him in his arms and knowing that he was safe meant everything to him and Stiles felt exactly the same way.

It used to be so much easier back then and less complicated.

“Do you need help cleaning that up?”

“No thanks,” Stiles replied. “I’ll manage.”

“Well I’ll just grab myself a drink and then I’ll be out of your way,” Derek replied, navigating around Stiles.

Stile had just cleaned up his mess, and when he was almost as the dustbin he bumped into Derek. They did the awkward thing where you both go the same direction until someone stops and let the other person move. Except when they stopped, they finally looked at each other for the first time in weeks.  It wasn’t just looking at each other but seeing.

Stiles thought that he was doing fine in the managing Derek feelings department but the single look unravelled him, and he knew that very second as they stared into each other’s eye’s that he was screwed.

He could feel the words “ _I love you_ ” start to form on his mouth but he knew better. It took everything within him to bite his tongue, he knew better than to tell Derek that because doing so would be selfish.

If he told Derek that he loved him, it would further compromise their already delicate dynamic with one another and since they were _only_ friends, he had no right to drop that bomb on Derek.

Stiles had agreed to try his best to be there for Derek, and it wasn’t always easy, because sometimes he would catch himself starting at the man seeing him smile or laugh and he wanted to be the reason why Derek was so happy but he had lost that privileged. There was nothing he could do about it.

They were just friends...

Derek saw something in Stiles eyes that he hadn’t noticed before- sadness. He remembered how Stiles’ eyes had such a light and a joy in them but yet now all he saw in Stiles’ eyes was sadness.

Derek found himself wondering if he was the cause of that sadness that Stiles had managed so well to have hidden away from him. He didn’t have to wonder long because he knew in the back of the mind that he was.

“Uh....sorry,” he answered quickly clearing his throat, “I...got to get back to my room.”

“Oh sorry,” Stiles replied, moving aside to let Derek pass him by.

“Thanks,” Derek replied.

Stiles nodded.

Stiles immediately went and opened a bottle of wine, pour him a glass and swallowed in in one gulp.

He had no clue what had just happened between them but it was _something_.

He refilled his glass, and just found himself staring at the glass of wine, his mind running off without him. All he could think of was how screwed he was. He had been lying to himself and hoping that if he had believed his feelings for Derek would go away, when in actuality the hadn’t. They had been dormant, and had chosen that specific moment to rear its head.

Stiles realised that he needed something to preoccupy his mind from the aching hole he felt inside him but unfortunately his mind was not playing along. As much as he tried, he could not focus on anything except the void inside him.

He knew then that if he very well couldn’t escape the pain, maybe he would dull the edges of it.

Stiles took his glass of wine, the bottle and made his way to the fire escape.

Sitting on the fire escape and drinking his wine, he allowed the evening chill to numb him. He had been so lost in thought that he was surprised when he felt something hit his hand. He looked around thinking that rain was on the way, but it wasn’t until a strong gust of wind washed over his face that he realised the droplet had been a falling tear.

Stiles wiped away his tears, feeling very confused because there was so much going on with him and Derek but yet he had no clue how it would turn out. Any way he looked at their situation it appeared that however it would end, no one was going to make it out unscathed.

He wished in that moment staring at his surroundings, that he could look into the future because if he knew that things were going to be okay, then he could survive the rest; but life doesn’t work like that. He would just have to prepare himself for was ahead, and _hope_ that no what happened, it would all work itself out in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Life happens.
> 
> 1\. I had to go back to one scene in The Vow as a point of reference. I haven’t actually used the movie in a while but it’s still helpful.In case you’re wondering, the story will not end like the movie. I have outlined the story up to Chapter 23 at the moment (it may go beyond that or diminish, which seems most likely because I’m letting the story dictate) and I hope you’re still interest in finding out how things play out.  
> 2\. If things seem sluggish it’s somewhat intentional. All I can say is that in the next chapter things go “kaboom”. I’ve written pieces of it and I am super excited to write it.  
> 3\. Quick Q: I am just wondering, did the Stiles/Derek scene work or was it a miss? I initially didn’t have it in but I wanted a scene with them. Remember I am somewhat neurotic so I do over-analyse stuff sometimes.
> 
> Find Me: Under Your Bed... kidding...or am I?
> 
> Title: I Wish I Could Tell You – Chloe Howl.
> 
> I didn’t discover this British singer until a few months ago, and she is honestly so talented. She reminded me a bit of Adele mixed with Lilly Allen; that’s the only comparison I could think of, because she has the playful mixed with the emotional. I love the song that I used for this chapter because it’s just...chills. The emotion of it just gets to me. (I even belt it in my bedroom.)
> 
> “I wish I could tell you but I just, run and hide.  
>  I wish I could tell you but it’s a thorn in my side.  
>  If I could find the words say; maybe this pain would go away...”


	17. Undo These Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy

“I hope that you got my order right,” Kate replied.

“No,” Derek deadpanned. “I purposefully screwed it up to annoy you.”

“Glad to see someone still has their sense of humour,” she said, taking her drink from him.

“I never lost my sense of humour,” he countered. “I lost my memory, there is a difference.”

“Looks who’s in fighting form today,” Kate commented.

“Well I’m gonna need to be if I’m gonna make it through that get-together today,” Derek sighed.

“Is that today?” Kate said. “I didn’t realise.”

“It’s not the most exciting thing in the world,” he said.

“It’s not the worst thing either,” she replied.

“Well it’s not them specifically.”

“Then what?”

“Ever since the accident they’ve been overbearing,” Derek said, sipping his coffee. “They are fine for the most part but occasionally I catch them staring at me with this look in their eyes… like they are wondering if they are stuck with this version of me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I see them wondering if the person I used to be will come back,” Derek said. “I know that they are trying, but it gets exasperating...and as tiring as it is, I can’t blame them for the way they look at me. It is what it is, and I’ll just have to make the best of it.”

“I’m sure it will be fine,” Kate replied. “You’re just being a baby.”

“You know what my family is like,” he said giving her a blank stare.

“Fair enough,” she pursed, “you do have a point. They can be annoyingly involved in your life to a degree that most families aren’t. I always disliked that most, the constant badgering.”

Derek was a bit surprised by her callousness, he expected her to be nice about them. It was silly but he felt somewhat offended by her comment. Its one thing to rag on your family but it’s something else when someone else tries to do it...especially if that someone is your ex-fiancée.

He didn’t linger on the thought for too long, because there were other things happening within his mind.

“Well you don’t have to worry about that since they are my family,” he eventually said.

“Thankfully,” she sighed. “While I normally wouldn’t care, I could always come with you for the moral support,” Kate hedged.

“You’re joking?”

“I am being serious,” she said. “I am a friend Derek and I am here to support you in any way I can.”

She gently grasped onto Derek’s hand and let it stay there for a second before she released him.

“Don’t tempt me,” Derek laughed. “I might take you up on it.”

“Do you know who all is going to be there?” she asked.

“Why? Are you thinking of gate crashing?” Derek joked.

“I _do_ have better things to do with my time Hale,” Kate retorted. “I was just being supportive.”

“If you say so,” he smirked. “To answer your question, as far as I know it’s my family and Stiles, Scott and Allison.”

“So my niece and her husband will be in attendance to?”

“Yeah,” Derek replied. “I still can’t believe that you haven’t told them you’re in town and you’ve been here three weeks already.”

“I am going to tell them… eventually,” she said.

“So you mean when you’ve returned back to Seattle and then you’ll finally them that you were in Beacon Hills and just didn’t tell them?”

“Yes,” she said.

“That will go over well.”

“Well my family knows that I do my own thing.”

“That is more than doing your own thing,” Derek said. “That is flat-out avoidance.”

“I avoid my family for good reason,” Kate answered. “They often come along with baggage that I don’t have time for. If you were wise, you would actually realise that you could learn a thing or two from me.”

“If only it was so easy,” he replied, checking the time on his watch.

“What? Don’t tell me you alreadyhave to go?” Kate said.

“The party is only this afternoon,” Derek stated, “but I have a few errands to run and I promised my mom I would come around pop in this morning in case she needed my help with something.”

“Spoil sport.”

“What?” he said.

“You’re spoiling all of our fun,” Kate said.

“We’ll you get to take pleasure in the fact that I will be held captive by family for an afternoon,” Derek replied.

“Touché.”

“I need to get going,” Derek said. “I’ll call you later to let you know it went? Is that cool?”

“Sure thing,” she nodded. “Maybe if you’re up for it we can go to another party tonight after?”

“I doubt I’ll have the energy for it but we’ll see.”

“Grandpa,” she teased.

“See you,” Derek replied, as he left Kate alone in the coffee shop.

* * *

The car ride to the Hale house had been very quiet.

It was mostly the sound of radio filling the air in the car. Stiles was mostly focused on the passing houses and cars along the way, while Derek was focused on the road ahead of him as they drove towards his childhood home.

It didn’t take long before they were pulling up into the drive wayof the house.

“You okay?” Stiles asked.

“Yeah,” Derek said. “Hopefully it will be just another get-together without a hiccup.”

“Yeah,” Stiles said.

Stiles had been unsure how things were going to turn out, he was sure that it would be fine. Ever since his realisation two nights ago, he was trying his best to keep it together. It was so frustrating because he would catch himself staring at the man’s lips or some part of his body that just took him back to their intimate moments.

Stiles didn’t realise how much he craved that intimacy again. He had gone without sex for a while now and while spanking the monkey helped, it just wasn’t sex. Not just sex, but _their_ sex.

He wanted to touch and be touched. He wanted to lick, bite, suck, thrust, stroke kiss and lose himself within the feeling of sharing your body with someone you love. He had missed that. Seeing Derek within his crisp white shirt and tight fitting jeans that he was wearing then made it more apparent than anything how sexually frustrated he was.

He couldn’t help it as his eyes slowly drifted to the man’s ass that was complimented but the jeans he was wearing, and boy was it so appealing. Before he knew it, he could feel his underwear tighten within his pants from because it all it took these days was just to have the smallest thought and he would become aroused.

He quickly cleared his mind, because they were about to spend time with Derek’s family and there was nothing remotely arousing about that. Derek had mentioned that his mother might corner one or both of them at some point throughout the afternoon because he sensed that she was interested in knowing how they were doing.

It was probably a bad sign that Stiles was unsure of what exactly he would say, but he would cross that bridge when he got to it. He was not going to stress himself out about it; he was just going to take it easy.

After they rang the door bell, a minute hadn’t even passed before someone opened the door for them.

“Oh thank God you are here,” Cora sighed, once she noticed the two men. “Please tell me you brought wine?”

“Check,” Stiles smiled. “What is it?”

“My family just decided that it was the right time to ask Isaac about when we’re getting engaged,” Cora sighed. “Kill me now.”

Both men couldn’t help but laugh as Cora rolled her eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Stiles said. “We are here now so they’ll probably focus their attention on us.”

“That is exactly what I’m hoping for,” Cora smirked.

“Wow,” Derek laughed, “Since when did my little sister become so ruthless?”

“Probably during the time you lost your memory,” she teased.

Derek was momentarily thrown by her snarky reply, but he immediately burst out laughing.

“I’m glad someone in this family is not afraid to make a joke about what happened,” Derek said. “If that continues then this get-together may just be bearable.”

“Well don’t get your hopes us yet,” she smiled. “I’m sure there is bound to be a few unbearable moments.”

“Let’s hope not,” Stiles added.

“Allow me to lead the way so we can see what this party on the road,” Cora replied.

Cora took them to the backyard, where everyone was relaxing peacefully.

“Finally,” Talia exclaimed once she spotted the two men, “I thought you boys were never going to arrive.”

“Mom,” Derek sighed, “you saw me earlier today, and besides this is the time you told us to arrive.”

“Derek Hale,” she sighed, “haven’t I taught you that to arrive on time is to be late, and to be early is to arrive on time?”

“Well we’re here aren’t we,” he sighed.

“Yes,” she smiled, kissing him on the cheek, “and I am glad that you _finally_ made it.”

Talia quickly shifted her attention from her son to Stiles who was standing beside him.

“Stiles, my dear boy, how are you doing?”

“All the better now that I have seen you Talia,” he grinned, as they hugged each other.

Stiles immediately noticed that there was something different in how Talia Hale hugged him. It was like she was sharing the love within her with Stiles. Stiles felt that the hug was genuine and was meant to comfort rather than greet.

He would be lying if he said hugging her didn’t make him feel better.

“Hey,” Laura Hale interrupted, “Should I be alarmed by this a situation?”

“Someone’s just jealous she hasn’t received her hug yet,” Talia quipped.

“I totally agree,” Stiles teased.

“Don’t make me hit you Stiles,” Laura teased.

“Laura’s your bark is worse than your bite,” Derek retorted.

“If I was willing to mess this wine,” she started, “I’d come over there and hit you myself.”

“Don’t make me use my mom voice kids,” Talia warned.

Stiles couldn’t help but grin at the exchange; it was nice to see everyone at ease. The two men quickly exchanged hugs and handshakes with Laura’s husband Jordan and Isaac, who had been watching on.

“Where are Peter and Jennifer?” Stiles questioned.

“At Michael’s karate tournament,” Talia replied. “They did say they would be running late.”

“Scott and Allison?”

“They are upstairs entertaining Ella and James,” Laura answered.

“Isaac and I were actually on our way to go to the kids,” Cora voiced. “Weren’t we Isaac?”

“We were?” he asked in surprise, before realising her intention. “Oh yes, we were.”

Sometimes Stiles wondered how Isaac landed someone like Cora because the poor guy, while smart, was prone to moments of delayed reactions and didn’t always immediately catch onto something.

After a joke had been told, everyone else would have stopped laughing but Isaac would only get the joke. It only caused everyone to laugh again. Stiles wasn’t blind, so he understood that Isaac had a particular brand of sex appeal but still he was...Isaac.

Then again, you don’t get to choose who you fall in love with, if you did then maybe he wouldn’t be in the situation he was.

Cora and Isaac quickly excused themselves, leaving Talia, Laura, Derek and Jordan in the backyard.

“Stiles would you mind helping me in the kitchen?” Talia suddenly announced.

“Oh-okay sure,” he nodded.

Stiles assumed that was her subtle way of wanting to be alone so that she could question him about what was happening, and while he was somewhat nervous, he decided to not over think it.

They quickly left the other’s outside and went directly into the kitchen.

“He seems to be doing well,” Talia commented, after washing their hands.

“Well he is very resilient but I am sure that I don’t have to tell you that,” Stiles laughed. “You are his mother.”

“He can be pretty stubborn too though,” Talia laughed.

“You said it, not me,” Stiles smirked.

“How has it been going?” Talia enquired. “I called you earlier in the week and I could sense that something was off. I could see it just now as well.”

“Well,” Stiles paused,“it has been difficult.”

Stiles remained quite after that, not offering much else.

“Stiles,” Talia added, “You know I am here for you too right? While Derek may be my biological son, I love you too.”

Stiles knew that he could open up to her; the only issue was that it was a lot harder than what he anticipated it being. Talia didn’t press him into opening up. They continued to work in silence until he finally was able to speak up.

“Ever since the last get-together,” he started, “something’s changed and it’s only declined since then.”

“The way you move around each other is different,” she commented, “like you’re out of sync. You two used to work in tandem with each other, but not so much now.”

“Our disconnection has only grown since,” he added. “It’s become more apparent after he started working because we barely see each other. He goes out with work friends and when he is home, he is usually in his room preoccupied with others things…so things are not looking particularly optimistic for us.”

“I am sorry to hear that,” Talia responded. “It breaks my heart to hear about how things are turning out between you two.”

“It is what it is,” Stiles smiled weakly.

“Stiles,” Talia said, grasping his hands. “I know that while things do appear bleak, you’ll both work things out with one another. I know you will.”

Stiles appreciated her optimism. He wanted more than anything for her to be right but he didn’t have the faith that Talia had. He wished that he did but there was nothing he saw between them to install that level of faith within him.

“Thanks,” he smiled, unsure of what else to say.

Talia tenderly kissed him on the forehead, before they were interrupted when Cora came into the kitchen.

“Where are the other packets of crisps? Isaac and Scott devoured the other packets with such speed that everyone else hardly got any.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Talia smiled. “Look in the pantry; I’m sure there should be more.”

Cora quickly searched and it wasn’t long before she found what she was looking for.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she replied, “but I took a box of twinkies from the pantry as well.”

“Go ahead,” she smiled, “I’m sure the kids will enjoy it.”

“Just make sure that you don’t allow Scott to get his hands on those first,” Stiles laughed. “We’ve had our fair share of twinkie-fights.”

“I just pictured something else entirely,” Cora cackled.

“Eww Cora,” Stiles replied, struggling to keep his composure.

He had suddenly pictured exactly what Cora was and he immediately cringed at the image.

“I have no clue what you two are talking about,” Talia said, “and judging from the expression on Stiles’ face, I doubt that I want to know.”

“Believe me Mom,” Cora said, “you don’t.”

“If you’ll excuse me,” Stiles replied. “I need to use the bathroom and scrub that imagery from my mind.”

Cora couldn’t help but laugh as Stiles departed for the bathroom.

While Cora was in the kitchen with her mother, they were joined by Jordan and Laura.

“So what did I miss?” Laura asked.

“Believe me,” Cora said. “You don’t want to know.”

“How are the kids doing?” Jordan asked.

“The kids are having fun,” Cora replied. “We’re currently watching How to Train Your Dragon 2 with them. They love it.”

“I am glad to hear that,” he smiled.

They were again interrupted when the house suddenly echoed with the sound of the door bell.

“I got it,” Jordan said.

“I assume that is Peter and Jennifer,” Talia voiced.

“How is Stiles doing?” Laura asked, after her husband left. “I could see he looks different.”

“He is trying to be brave,” Talia replied. “It’s not easy on him but he is hanging in there. How are things with Derek?”

“The same,” Laura replied. “I can sense that he is keeping something from me and the more I try to find out what it is, the more he grows reluctant to say. He eventually got up and went to stand beside Jordan at the grill.”

“It’s so frustrating to see them drift further and further apart from each other,” Talia said.

“You’re telling me,” Laura agreed.

The women continued their conversation, voicing their worries about the young men who they cared for enormously, when Jordan suddenly came back into the kitchen with an unexpected guess.

It was safe to say that the arrival of the new guest, made the afternoon take a turn for the worst.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Talia spewed, as he calm demeanour vanished instantly into a ferocious one.

“You’re not welcome here,” Laura added with the same venom.

“I see everyone is still as uptight as ever,” Kate pursed. “Nice to see you all too.”

“I asked you a question,” Talia growled.

“I thought that I would come here to support Derek.”

“Well you just wasted all of your time coming here,”Cora spat. “We unfortunately reached out bitch limit a while ago so we just don’t have time for you.”

“Cora,” Talia stated.

“What’s going on here?” Derek said coming from outside. “I could hear raised -”

Derek came to an utter standstill when he recognised Kate Argent standing in the kitchen surrounded by his family.

“Your family is having a bit of an issue with me being here,” Kate replied.

“Kate?” Derek said, “What are you doing here?”

“Well you mentioned that you weren’t particularly thrilled for the get-together today so I thought that I would come along for moral support.”

“Derek what is this bitch talking about?” Laura asked.

“Kate and I have been spending time together these last few weeks,” Derek replied. “We’ve been hanging out. What’s the big issue?”

“What’s the big issue?” Laura gasped. “The big issue is her. She is not allowed here?”

“Why?”

“She has no right being within this house,” Talia explained, “because of the engagement fiasco.”

“What are you talking about? The engagement was my fault.”

“Is that the bullshit that this bitch has been spreading?” Cora sniped.

Cora had been very agitated with Kate’s arrival and soon she launched herself at the women. Before she was able to reach Kate though, Derek stepped into her way and stopped her.

“I think it’s best if I go,” Kate said. “Apparently my presence has upset your family more than I anticipated.”

“No,” Derek said, “you don’t have to go.”

“Either you tell her to leave,” Laura growled, “or I’m taking my family and going.”

“It’s okay Derek,” Kate replied grasping his arm, “I’ll call you later okay.”

She quickly pecked the Hale man on his cheek before her departure.

Derek was surprised to see his family react so violently, in all his time growing up he had never know the women in his life to be so aggressive. He knew that they could be tough and fierce when they wanted to be, but he had never seen them react that way to anyone before.

“How psychotic are you to be around that women?” Cora said.

“The more important question is since when did we start treating people like scum?” Derek said. “If we are all going to be so crappy towards my friends then I might not-”

“You’re friends with that psycho,” Cora cut-off.

“Cora,” Talia called.

“Do you know what that bitch has put this family through?” Laura continued.

“Laura!!” Talia yelled.

“I don’t actually,” Derek snapped, “because no one apparently wanted to tell me what happened!”

“That bitch...” Cora started.

“Everyone stop!” Talia roared. “Saying something in anger is not going to solve anything.”

“But Mom-” Cora replied.

“We will sort this out,” Talia responded but first you need to go calm yourself down. “Jordan would you please go with Cora and go check on everyone ups-”

Talia came to a stop when she noticed that Stiles was standing in the kitchen. The look on his face showed that he had heard everything but other than that he just remained very still. She had also then noticed that Scott and Allison were also present, situated on the steps watching them all.

“- upstairs and make sure that Isaac and the kids are doing okay,” Talia continued.

Cora was clearly agitated and full of anger as she departed with her brother-in-law Jordan at her side. Laura was visible fuming too but she was taking deep breathes, trying to calm herself down.

“Everyone else can you please reassemble in the lounge,” Talia finished. “It’s time we tell Derek what happened.”

* * *

Not much was said in the 10 minutes it took for everyone to settle down into the lounge.

In fact, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of the movie playing upstairs. The entire mood in the house had permanently changed and it had gotten very sullen.

Everyone else had been silent in that time, poured booze and tried to keep focused before they made their way to lounge.

“So,” Derek asked after the silence became too uncomfortable, rubbing his hands over his face, “can someone please tell me what exactly happened?”

“We were at the rehearsal dinner...” Talia began.

Slowly they started recounting the story of why Derek and Kate had broken off their engagement. Derek was listening intently as they told him about her affair with Hunter Parrish that had been going on for months behind his back.

They told him about how she had started lying to him and started throwing his bisexuality in his face, going off and causing unnecessary arguments in hopes of pushing Derek to the point where he would break off the engagement, all because she didn’t want to be the one to end it. She even went as far to insult him in front of their friends and family so she could create more drama.

As Derek was listening, he could see them filling in different sections of one giant jigsaw puzzle. He felt somewhat numb, like he was experiencing everything in a movie theatre.

“It got so bad,” Laura said, “that even Mom started telling you to consider calling off the engagement but you kept reasoning that you don’t give up your relationship when things get rough. No matter how crap things get continue to fight.”

“You were always a hopeless romantic at heart,” Talia commented. “You always took marriage seriously.”

“It is something that you said was for life,” Laura said, “and that you don’t just give up when things get rough. The problem was that you didn’t know that Kate was cheating on you and that she was purposefully toying with you. You became a game to her; the more you tried to fight for your relationship, the more she enjoyed the game.”

“Why would she do that?”

“I don’t know,” Laura replied.

“My aunt likes games,” Allison said. “Every relationship that she has been in she had lost interest and instead of breaking up the guy, she would enjoy taunting him and causing fights until eventually he would be the one to end the relationship. It’s something she is still doing to this day.”

“That’s vicious and self-destructive,” he said.

“It is.”

Derek was in disbelief because it sounded too crazy to be true. How warped could someone be to do that to another human? Where did it all go wrong for things to take such a dark turn? It was a lot to take in and he was slowly processing it all.

He was quiet for a moment before he found himself wondering something.

“How did I find out about the cheating?”

“The same way we all did,” Talia said. “At the rehearsal dinner.”

“You and Stiles had been the ones to walk in on them,” Allison said.

Derek was flabbergasted. He felt like the rug had just been shafted from underneath him and like he was drifting aimlessly. He could imagine how much everything must have hurt because of his current feelings.

He wouldn’t have been willing to admit it before then, but he had started rekindling those feelings for Kate. If those current feelings were already hurting then he could imagine how truly painful it must have been for him to have been so in love with Kate only to discover how disgustingly she had been treating him.

To hear everything that had happened and how she had treated him, it was infuriating and he found himself with growing resentment for Kate.

Stiles had been very quiet the entire time, not having said a single word. He had let everyone else do the talking. As Derek caught a glimpse of the man, it was clear that Stiles’ mind was clearly drifting.

“Wow,” he sighed.

“I know it’s a lot to take in,” Talia said.

He nodded.

“Derek,” Laura said, “you have every right to be upset with us not telling you about this but we honestly thought that Kate would never come back. I hope you can see that this was such painful experience and that we had really tried our best to put it behind us. It doesn’t excuse our behaviour for not telling you but like they say hindsight is always 20/20 vision.”

Derek knew that he could be angry at his family for not telling him, but he realised then that would make him a hypocrite because that was exactly what he had done to Stiles. He had kept the Kate thing from Stiles for so long.

He had a lot of thoughts swarming through his head but he knew that he staying around his family then was not going to be good. He needed to get out and he needed to do so now.

“I don’t know how I feel,” Derek replied. “I am upset but not at you specifically...I am just going to need some time. Please don’t take offence but I can’t stay here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All errors are my own. Sorry for them. If I had the time I would try to eliminate all of them but for now F7 and my own eyes are the best I can do.  
> 1\. Laura’s Husband name is Jordan, while the guy Kate is with is named Hunter. In the show the deputy is actually called Jordan Parrish. In like an alternate fic where I would have time to explore the parallels, it would be revealed that Jordan and Hunter are brothers but they don’t know it. Jordan was orphaned and when he married Laura he chose to take on her surname, but in time if an alternate fic it would’ve been discovered that he is also a Parrish. But that is just my imagination being random.  
> 2\. This chapter initially didn’t end like that because I have like 6 more pages after but I decided to end it there as it worked and it gave the opportunity to build up something in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed one of the ‘kabooms’ that had happened. There was another but that is for the next chapter.  
> Find me: In your closet...kidding I came out of that two years ago ;)  
> PS: The fact that there are people invested in this story means so much to me. My 100% original manuscript got rejected from the two local publishing houses that focus on fiction. South Africa still has a high percentage of our youth struggling with literacy and the novel itself is more suited for an American market than a South African where we lack the strong interest in Young Adult drama.  
> The fact that many of you are interested in my writing and the characters (while not 100% original) just helps me trust my ability to create an engaging story so thank you.  
> Title: Undo These Lies – Zebra & Giraffe  
> This is from an Alternative Pop Rock/Punk band from South Africa. I thought that it wouldn’t hurt to share some local music. What’s the point of being from a country with 11 official languages and as many different cultures if I don’t get to wear it like a badge of honour. I really like this song and it’s cool so don’t be scared to give their music a listen. You can find their music on iTunes. Please give it a listen if you love dark pop/alternative rock.


	18. Out of Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise. You didn't think I post this so soon did you. :) Enjoy.

The car ride home had been extremely tense.

There was no music just the sounds of their breathing and the sounds of both their minds running at a mile a minute.

So much had happened and it was all very complicated.

Derek felt confused and conflicted about everything his family had told him. He had no clue how he was feeling; everything about the rehearsal dinner, Kate trying to force him into breaking up with her. Everything he heard made him angry, hurt and frustrated.

Stiles had not said a single word to Derek on the ride back, and when they got into the apartment it felt like the heavy silence suddenly became amplified.

Stiles felt like a falling glass that had finally hit the ground, shattering into tiny little fragments and now it was time to deal with the mess.

“Derek, I can’t do this anymore,” he whispered, breaking through the silence.

“What?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said louder.

“What do you mean Stiles?”

“I have constantly been trying my best to make it easy for you,” he started, “putting my feelings and emotions on a shelf so that this whole process can be easier for you. Your wellbeing became so important that it came to my own detriment. This can’t go on. You are living your life while I’m just being this guy stupidly waiting for something that clearly is not going to happen because I care so much about you, but I can’t anymore.”

“Where is all of this coming from?”

“You lied to me,” Stiles said. “If you had told me about Kate sooner then I could’ve stepped in, but yet you chose lie to me and hide it behind my back. What is the point of us even being friends if you can’t tell me things like this? I thought that I at least warranted enough respect from you that you could tell me about Kate thing? Does our friendship really mean nothing to you?”

“I was trying to protect you,” Derek replied. “I would have told you but I realised that telling you would only cause further complications. I was so scared that something might slip so I just started keeping to myself because the less I had to speak to you, the less I would be forced to lie to you.”

“Derek,” Stiles retorted, “we have been through so much together. I am not going to lie to you and say that it wasn’t going to be difficult but I would have gotten past it. We would always try to be honest with each other; we both agreed that honest was important to our friendship.”

“How is this situation any different from the Kate thing?” Derek bit back. “The exact same thing that I did is what you and family did to me. You kept this important piece of information that I had every right to know away from me!”

Stiles remained silent.

“What? You have nothing to say? And the reason for that is because you know I am right. Not telling me about Kate was something that you and my family should have done but you didn’t. I didn’t want to get upset about this because it’s something that happened a while ago but I don’t understand why you are making an issue out of this?”

“The difference is that I fucking love you dammit!!” he shouted. “I am in love with you Derek!!”

There it was. The _snap_.

The elephant Derek had been tiptoeing around and the reason why he felt compelled to keep the truth hidden had finally been revealed. There was no playing ignorant, no trying to avoid it, because it had been acknowledged and now there was no going back.

 “Do you know how hard it’s been for me?” Stiles continued, trying his best to keep his voice steady.

“It’s been a constant daily reminder,” he explained, “to stop myself from feeling what I feel, to stop my mind from thinking about you in that way, to stop myself from looking at you unless I have to. It’s the small things that have been the hardest for me to cope with but I have tried my best because at the end of the day it’s not been about me, it’s been about you. It really sucks that you could not trust me to tell me something and instead felt the need to hide it.”

“That right there is why I couldn’t tell you because I didn’t know you would react,” Derek replied.

“Derek I am grown man,” Stiles reproached, “I won’t descend into a ball of goo if you had told me about Kate. I would have cried once or twice in the confines of my own room because if I hadn’t then it clearly meant that I didn’t love you but unfortunately I do. I make no secret of the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve and it does come with certain difficulties because I don’t always hide my feelings as easily especially when things get rough; yet I still dust myself off and I continue.”

“You chose to clam up and not engage with me about what was going on,” Stiles continued. “You started walking around egg shells and it only started causing a greater rift between us Derek. I would have been able to handle the Kate thing but the lying, and secrets and the fact that you really thought you couldn’t trust me is what kills me.”

“We were in an okay place, it wasn’t always easy but we managed,” Stiles finished, “until you became this guy that I barely even recognise anymore.”

“So it’s my fault that we’re in this situation we’re in?” Derek accused. “That is not fair.”

“I am not saying it’s your fault,” Stiles rebuked. “We _both_ made mistakes in how we dealt with everything because we were taking this day by day.”

“Good because I always made it clear where I stand,” Derek replied. “I told you how I felt, and yet you were the one who was struggling with my decision.”

“I’ve never let my feelings take precedent over you recovery Derek,” Stiles argued. “I have been here every damn day trying to help you recover.”

“That right there is the problem,” Derek attacked. “It feels like you, and my family, have all been reluctant to accept that I’ve been recovering. You can’t make peace with the fact that I’m recovering in my own way.”

“You have all been waiting with bated breath to see if the person I used to be came back,” he replied, “and do you know how frustrating it is. The pitying looks and the judgments everyone constantly made whenever they looked at me. It’s like I’ve been living my life wrong, which is not how it was supposed to be because it is _my_ life. At least with Kate she didn’t expect me to be anything other than who I was.”

“I am sorry you feel that Kate has been more supportive of you,” Stiles groaned.

“You know that is not what I mean,” Derek said. “She just managed to accept that I didn’t remember everything.”

“Because she had been manipulating you,” Stiles replied exasperated. “Did you even know that her husband has been looking for her because she decided to leave in the middle of night, only leaving him a note saying ‘I need some space’. No normal person does that to _their husband_ without telling them where they are going. The guy had no clue what had happened. I don’t even like the guy because he was the douchebag that Kate cheated on you with but there is something called human decency and that is something that Kate clearly lacks.”

“Kate is married?” Derek said.

“She didn’t tell you that did she?” Stiles replied.

“How do you know this?”

“Allison,” Stiles replied. “She told me that her mom explained what had been happening because Parrish had called her asking if she knew anything about Kate’s whereabouts. No one knew where Kate was until today that is…”

“Kate was just manipulating you into getting her way,” Stiles said, trying to calm himself. “The same thing she did to you, she is still doing Derek. She was plotting for the perfect moment to take advantage of your memory or did you think the fact she showed up at the get-together was just because she wanted to support you?”

 “Yes,” he answered, sounding very unsure.

“Just you wait and then you’ll see that she has never changed,” Stiles replied. “And you know what Derek, I am sorry that you feel like Kate-bloody-Argent has been more supportive for you than I have but you seem to forget that I was happily in love with a man who was the best thing to ever happen to my life. Losing out on that was _so hard_ for me and I could have easily become resentful about it but I didn’t because I tried to put myself in your shoes and to have lost the past four years of my life would have been so terrifying. I made an effort to be there for you even when it hurt me.”

“I am sorry if you felt like I was constantly judging you,” he continued, “or not willing to accept your recovery but I guess it was my eternal optimism that made me believe that things would work out; that at the end of it all it would go back to normal but I realise now that I was being naive.”

There was such finality to Stiles’ word; it had made the room feel incredible dark, cold and gloomy.

It was clear that he had just run the gamut of emotions and he just come to the finishing line.

Derek thought that hearing what his family said had been hard, but instead it was hearing Stiles who had been there from day one finally releasing everything that he had been holding onto was the truly difficult part.

The silence that had lingered was underscored by the sudden hard hitting sound of rain on the apartment windows. Derek was surprised because it was never meant to rain today but yet the proof of rain was right before his eyes.

He couldn’t help but be reminded of that first night in the hospital as he heard the rain pattering on his room window, but this time the rain had a anger and sadness that he had never seen before.

“I’m going to go,” Stiles finally announced. “I need some air.”

“Stiles,” Derek started. “That’s not-”

“It’s okay Derek,” he sighed. “I should’ve known better. I can see that I’ve apparently made a mistake.”

Just like that Stiles was gone and Derek was left standing there unsure of what would happen next.

 

* * *

 

It was getting late and a few hours had passed since Stiles had left.

Derek’s concern was growing because he had not heard from the man since the afternoon. When Derek heard a knock on the door, he breathed a little easier.

Instead of breathing a little easier, he felt his pulse quicken when he was treated to the unpleasant surprise of seeing Kate Argent standing on the other side of the door.

He immediately tried shutting the door but she had put herself in the way of it, stopping him from doing so.

“Just leave,” he said.

“Can you at least let me explain?”

“Explain what?”

“My side of the story,” she said, sadness present in her eyes.

Derek was conflicted about it and it was true that he had only heard one side of the story. It was clear that there were a lot of truths but there was stuff that happened which Kate knew about.  He could find out answers from her that the others might not have had.

“You have five minutes.”

“Listen here,” she started. “I’m sure that your family has made it out like I am some giant villain but there is more to the story.”

“So you didn’t cheat on me?” he interrupted.

“Derek,” she started, “I made a mistake and it’s something I regret to this day.”

“Is that all?”

“I should have never done that to you, I am extremely sorry. I started doubting your love for me and because of you and Stiles having always been so close to each other I felt threatened because I wanted that with you so I instead started spiralling out of control.”

“I was freaking in love with you at the time,” Derek replied. “Of course Stiles was going to be a constant and of course we were going to be close because he was my friend. He was someone I had trusted and valued immensely, but he was just my friend. I was engaged to you Kate.”

“And I know that now,” she replied. “I know that I screwed up royally and I am really really sorry for how things turned out. That was why I felt compelled to be there and support you through your recovery so that I could make up for my mistakes in away.”

“Then why couldn’t you tell me the truth about what happened Kate? Why hide it?”

“Because,” she started, “if I did then I never would have had the opportunity to be there for you as I have the past few weeks, you would have shut me out and I didn’t want to risk that.”

“Instead you lied to me about what happened and manipulated me so I could spend more time with you?”

“I am sorry about that but I had good intentions.”

“You are such a bitch,” Derek spat.

He had never in his life called a woman that and he would have never resorted to that level but it had escaped his mouth before he knew it. He hated that it slipped out, but he didn’t regret that she had heard it.

“I know that I can be a bitch but I am sincerely sorry about everything Derek.”

“What was today even all about Kate” Derek continued, “Why did you show up at the house? Was it your way of getting revenge or hurting my family? What was all that about?”

“I really wanted to be there to support you,” she started, “but you're family has never liked me Derek. No matter what I did they never liked me.”

“My family don’t just dislike someone for no apparent reason Kate, so you are saying that you didn’t give them reason to dislike you?”

“Yes but even before the cheating thing,” she replied, “they never liked us together. They didn’t say anything but they didn’t have to. I could see it in the way they treated me.”

“So today was just your way of sticking it to them?”

“I realise that I could have handled it better,” she explained, “but I was overcome with such anger that I hadn’t realised the impact of my actions until now.”

“That is the problem,” Derek retorted, “you don’t think about the consequences of your actions. You just do things and the collateral damage be damned. You have no consideration for anyone but yourself.”

Derek was surprised when he found Kate suddenly kissing him. He immediately pulled back, shoving her away from him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he swore.

 “You really think I've been spending so much time with you because I only wanted to be your friend?” Kate asked. “I have been spending time with you to make up for my mistakes so that we could start again Derek. You can't deny that there is chemistry between us. We were good together once, and if our time together recently has been indicative of anything it is that we can be good together again.”

Kate had been stalking Derek like a predator, watching and waiting the entire time until she found the perfect opportunity to strike, and that was exactly what she was doing.

She lunged at Derek's lips again and grabbed onto him as she kissed him.

For a moment, Derek was reminded of everything that they had together. How fierce of a couple they were and how intoxicating it was to be around her, but then he suddenly felt sick. In the past few hours he had come to know better. He might have lost the last four years of his life but he was not entirely stupid.

Derek grabbed a hold of Kate and again shoved her back while he took a few steps away from her. He didn’t want to give her any other ideas.

Kate could tell by the look on his face that this was not going to go any further, but she was not going to give up that easy.

“Come on Derek,” she said suddenly seductively, “you can’t tell me that you aren't in the least bit interested in me? I know that for a second there you allowed yourself to let go and enjoy the kiss.”

“Kate,” he said, “You are truly crazy, what makes you think that I want anything to do with someone who married the guy you cheated on me on with, and now wants to cheat on him with me? Does that sound like something a sane person would do?”

“You know about Parrish?”

“So you’re not going to deny it then?” Derek replied. “Tell me you didn’t think that I wouldn’t find out. Of course I would find out Kate, how did you think this was going to play out?”

“I made a mistake when I cheated on you Derek,” she said, grabbing holding onto his hands. “It is something that I regret and I promise that will never happen again. You just gotta let us have a chance together.”

“There is no chance for us Kate” he burst. "I am not stupid enough to do that. I actually have a morals and I know better than to hurt someone in the way that you hurt me. There will never again be a chance for us. We’re done.”

Derek’s heart was racing, but he finally felt like he was in control. He was the one who was finally making a decision in his own life, and it was a decision that he knew he was making for the better.  

He felt like he had just gained immense strength from somewhere and he was on such a high.

“I actually pity you,” he said. “You will always be the own saboteur of your own happiness.”

“Me?” she spewed. “You are the pitiful one Derek. You're the one who lost his memory and been spending time with his ex because you were too afraid to be left alone with Stiles?”

“I wasn’t afraid to spend times with Stiles,” Derek replied. “I couldn’t spend time with Stiles because of the guilt I felt from spending some much time with you behind his back...but you know what I don’t have to explain myself to you. That is one thing I never have to do _ever_ again.”

Derek moved towards the door and opened it so she could get the hint that it was time to leave.

“Have a nice life Kate,” he replied.

“Fuck you,” she said, walking towards the door.

“Hope I never have to see your ugly face again.”

He slammed the door closed behind her and when he did that, he suddenly felt himself overcome with immense relief. He had done something on his own accord and he had not been instructed or nudged or manipulated by anyone to do something that he didn’t want to.

He had done something that he knew was right because he had the information he needed. No one was manipulating him or making him do something that _they_ wanted him to do. He did it for himself and he did not regret it at all.

 

* * *

 

Derek had been up the whole night.

He had received a text from Stiles saying the he was staying at Scott and Allison’s for the night but that didn’t make him feel any less stressed on at peace.

He had been tossing and turning in his bed and when he was able to sleep for an hour before he was up again.

The rain had not stopped ever since it started the day before so when he found himself in the lounge with a glass of whiskey in hand at 4 in the morning, it was the only thing he heard.

Derek had a rough night; it was one of the worst he had ever remembered.

The family get-together, the argument with Stiles and the removal of Kate Argent from his life – his mind had been swarming with everything that had happened.

It was a lot that he had been through.

Even though he had so much to think about, he couldn’t help but find himself thinking about Stiles most. He had done wrong by the man and they had gone through a helluva lot together. He was right that they had always promised to be honest with each other, if they weren’t being honest then was there even a point in being friends?

He had fallen asleep somewhere in the early hours of the morning because he was startled awake by the sound of someone unlocking the apartment door.

As Derek quickly climbed up from the couch, he was surprised to discover that it was Stiles who came into the door.

“Hi,” Derek stated awkwardly.

“Hi,” Stiles smiled weakly.

It was clear that both had had gotten little to no sleep the night before. Both of them looked extremely exhausted and like they had been put through the ringer.

Stiles was still dressed in the clothes from the night before. Derek noticed that there was something different about Stiles, like the natural bon fire spirit within him had been dimmed and was now as bright as a match.

“Uh,” Derek started. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“Uhm… yeah,” Stiles replied. “Thanks.”

Both men were very quiet as Derek made them coffee.

“I see you slept on the couch,” Stiles commented.

“Something like that,” Derek replied. “I barely slept. I had about two hours of sleep at most. Lying on the couch with the TV as background noise was what I did last night.”

“So I am not the only one who had a rough night,” Stiles said.

“Yeah,” Derek replied.

He handed Stiles the cup of coffee, their hands grazing for a split second in the process.

“Sorry about leaving like that last night,” Stiles stated.

“It’s okay,” Derek replied. “I would have left too.”

“You would’ve?”

“Yeah,” Derek nodded. “It was a lot that happened, I understand why you got out.”

“Well last night did give me some time to think things over,” Stiles said.

 “Such as?” Derek questioned.

“Uhm,” Stiles started, “the teaching offer at Columbia University in New York City.”

“What offer?”

“They offered me the position as Head of the English Department,” Stiles said, sounding detached, “and I’ve decided to accept it. Lydia and Jackson have allowed me to live in their New York apartment so I’ve taken up the offer.”

“You’re moving to New York?”

“Yes,” Stiles answered.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit excessive?” Derek gasped. “I know we said some really difficult things to hear-”

“Derek,” Stiles interrupted, “It is not just about the argument. There is nothing here for me anymore... I have no reason to stay in Beacon Hills.”

“The man I love is some version of him that I never remember him being and some of it was because Kate but I assume it’s also because you’re upset and frustrated at the situation you’re in. I don’t blame you because I would be pissed as fuck if what happened to you had to happen to me. I would be so angry. I am sorry about what happened and I don’t hold you responsible for how you’ve changed through it but I need to do what’s best for me and leaving Beacon Hills is what’s best.”

Derek hated this. He hadn’t expected this, out of how everything turned out he had at least hoped that there was some way to repair the damage caused. Stiles had become one his best and closest friends. The man had meant so much to him and he had ended up treating the guy like shit. Stiles was right, he had changed into someone even he didn’t remember himself being and he didn’t know if it was Kate or not but what he did know was that the accident and the consequences thereof have had a negative effect on him. He had been carrying around his frustration and internalising everything in such a way that it had changed him.

Stiles had been trying his best to help Derek and here he was taking for granted how helpful Stiles had been. Derek had realised in the moment he had been a shitty friend, but even more than that, he had been a shitty person.

“I am sorry I lied,” Derek finally said.

“It’s okay Derek,” Stiles replied, “There is equal fault and blame to go around but I’ve made my decision, and I would appreciate the support.”

Derek knew as he watched Stiles take a gulp from his coffee that nothing was going to stop him and Stiles had clearly given it a lot of thought. He must have spent the entire night up thinking about. Everything was already decided, and no amount of talking was going to dissuade him from his choice.

“Okay then,” he nodded.

He realised, as he looked at Stiles that he had caused the man pain and that irrevocable damage had been done to their friendship. He needed to do right by the man and the only way he could see that happening was supporting him in his decision. It would be pointless to argue about why he should stay when he clearly already made up his mind about it.

If Stiles wanted to leave then, Derek knew would have to be there and support the young men in what he clearly believed was best for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was rough. *blinks away tears*   
> 1\. I think this replaced Chapter 6 as my favourite chapter, and you know I love me some Chapter 6. The Derek/Kate chat in the middle felt so amazing to finally have Derek just do something he wanted and the Derek/Stiles arguments were absolutely lovely but sad to type.  
> 2\. I was having an issue about allowing Derek to call Kate a bitch because it might come across as problematic since it is coming from a guy to a female character but I decided to let it stay because of what she did and to show his anger. I just want everyone to know that while I am not a radical feminist, I am a feminist because I do believe that gender equality should be the norm within society and it’s disappointing that we live in a age where there are still young girls being told that they can’t do something or that they aren’t as good enough as boys. It’s appalling how entrenched patriarchy has become.  
> 3\. There are a lot of rhetorical questions in here and I know that that can be annoying but I was going for how in life we often have arguments and we have rhetorical questions which people then latch onto parts and then go from there.
> 
> Find me: Passed out from the feels.
> 
> Title: Out of Mind – Tove Lo  
> I discovered this song when it started playing on someone’s tumblr page. I have been obsessed with it. Also it kills me because when I hear it I imagine Stiles and Derek and I get emotional because it just perfectly fits. If you ever had to listen to one of the songs from this fic, this has to be it.


	19. I Hate This Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.This is one is a little lighter to handle :)

“So then what are saying about mainstream entertainment media?”

“The reason,” Stiles explained, “why there is such a strong reluctance from the media to engage in gay stories on such a wide level is because we live in a heteronormative society in which being heterosexual is assumed to be the norm. The queer experience as a whole diverges from that; it is tailored for a minority group.”

“There are a few stories,” he continued, “in books and movies that could be elevated from generic to outstanding if they weren’t scared of telling the story from a queer perspective. Imagine if This Means War with Chris Pine, Reese Witherspoon and Tom Hardy actually had Tom and Chris’ characters falling for each other in the process? Wouldn’t it have made the movie funnier and something that Tom Hardy wouldn’t have regretted adding to his filmography?”

“But don’t you think that we are making strides?”

“How so?” Stiles asked.

“Look at the success of Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock films, the Hobbit movies and both of the Jump Street films,” a girl replied.  “They realised that accessing the homoerotic aspects would be extremely beneficial for them. The Professor X and Magneto is one that is entirely rooted in homoeroticism.”

“The thing is,” Stiles replied,“there is a difference between homoeroticism and homosexuality. With homoeroticism the audience has a choice in deciding whether they engage the story from that perspective or just look at it as an intense brotherly bond. With homosexuality, there is no negotiating...Imagine if Suits, which functions on the homoerotic relationship of Harvey Spectre and Mike Ross, had been turned into a romance between the two? Would show have been as successful as it has been? If the show had been setup with the intention of both men falling in love with each other, would the show still be as successful as it is today?”

“No,” the class said.

“Exactly,” Stiles said. “While the show is currently enjoyable, and I do love me some Donna and Harvey, you cannot deny that the show would be so much more interesting if it had the romance of Mike and Harvey at the centre of it.”

“But unfortunately we don’t,” a guy said.

“The same goes for Rizzoli and Isles,” Stiles added. “How much more complex and interesting would the relationship between the two women be if it was complicated with the possibility of them going lesbi-honest for each other? I’d tune in regularly for that.”

“What is your thoughts on queer baiting then?” an older woman asked.

“Would you explain? I haven’t actually heard the term.”

“Queer baiting generally refers to when TV shows or movies hint at possible same-sex relationships generally to appease their LGBT fans without ever actually developing that relationship on screen.”

“So it branches off from homoeroticism in a way?” Stiles asked.

“Basically the LGBT audience is voicing their disapproval of how the TV show/movie is luring them into watching something but yet never actually delivering on the relationship,” she replied. “The best example I can think of is Destiel on Supernatural. The show has purposefully been building the sexual innuendos and sexual tensions between Dean and Castiel so it can lure in the LGBT audience.”

“It was recently revealed,” the woman continued, “that a script actually had the phrase “I love you” in it but it was understandably changed by the actor because his character is rarely one for saying something so soppy, but it still does represent a problem of baiting the queer audience. Apparently the same thing happens on Rizzoli and Isles where they film takes with the actors being extra flirty with each other. I just wanted to hear your thoughts?”

“Wow,” Stiles sighed. “That’s quite complicated.”

“Sorry for the question,” the lady blushed. “I just wanted to know your thoughts on it.”

“No, thank you for bringing it up,” Stiles smiled.“I will definitely have to educate myself on that because it is something that I can use for future classes. I don’t necessarily have the information to answer the question fully but I will try my best.”

“I do think that from the sounds of it,” Stiles replied, “it is definitely a problematic situation. I don’t know whether it’s more of a problem we should be glad we have or one that we need to be cautious of. On the one hand, it is great that the writers or the people in charge feel that they can engage with the homoerotic aspect of the story but it is a problem when those in charge start manipulating its audience just so they can profit from it. There has to be a give and take relationship, when one starts abusing the other then it just crosses the level of respect.”

“I guess that is why we have fan fiction instead,” the lady smirked.

“Touché,” Stiles replied.

“Do you think then that we are asking too much of the mainstream media to tell queer stories?” a guy asked.

“No,” Stiles replied. “The life we see on our TV and film screens should reflect that of the reality in which we live. A study from 2011 has placed LGBT people as only about 3.5% of the population in the United States. Given how things have steadily changed since then we can argue that more people are coming out and willing to claim their identity as part of the LGBTIQ population, I will greatly exaggerate that current percentage to double at 7%. Still that is only 7% of the US population. You see the problem?”

“The LGBTIQ population is still the minority,” a boy piped up.

“Precisely,” Stiles said. “The same goes for many of the other groups ranging from race to class. The upper class white heterosexual will generally be seen with greater importance within mainstream media than someone who is black, middle class or gay. We can’t blame the upper class white heterosexual for this, rather society as a whole is to blame because we play into this and we allow the media to get away with this.”

“How do we change this then?” a girl in the back of the class asked.

“I wish I knew the answer,” Stiles answered, “but unfortunately I’m just a lecturer. They don’t pay me enough to figure that out.”

The class burst into laughter at that.

“So we have 10 minutes left of my last lecture,” Stiles announced. “You guys can leave, or we can have a general Q and A where you can ask anything you ever wanted to know about me. I mean absolutely anything and I will answer it as honestly as I can.”

“Anything?” A student confirmed.

“Absolutely anything,” Stiles laughed. “It doesn’t have to be about the course...”

All he got was returned silence.

“Seriously?” He said. “No one has any questions? You guys just wanna go home?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”someone shouted.

“I do not have a girlfriend,” Stiles grinned, causing the room to cheer, “but that is because I’m not interested in the opposite sex.”

His response elicited some gasps of “why!!” and some others to cheer while the rest just made an “aww” sound.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” another person asked.

“I did,” Stiles replied. “Unfortunately some unexpected and unforeseen circumstances have dictated that we separate but it’s all a part of life.”

“Is that why you’re leaving?” another girl questioned.

“It’s a part of it,” he shifted.

“Did he break your heart?” a girl asked.

Stiles took a moment, before he answered the girl.

“He did,” Stiles replied, which made everyone boo. “It wasn’t his fault, well more specifically it wasn’t intentional.  He didn’t mean to break my heart or hurt me. It was really just the unfortunate circumstances that we found ourselves in.”

“Doesn’t it mean that you’re running away?” someone in the back accused.

“You could see it like that,” he pursed. “I won’t deny that does look like that, but honestly after everything that has happened between us, staying doesn’t seem like an option. It sucks, seeing him and not being able to hold his hand or even look into his eyes...not being able do that and still seeing him would hurt more if I stayed. Leaving is the best option for me.”

Stiles noticed that many of the people in his lecture were crying.

“I am sorry,” he smiled. “I didn’t mean to make things depressing.”

“It’s okay,” they shouted.

“Any happier questions?”

“Big spoon or little spoon?” a guy asked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know Jeffery,” Stiles replied. “I’ve seen you staring at me, don’t make me tell your boyfriend that you asked me that.”

The entire lecture theatre burst into laughter.

“I’m just kidding Jeff,” Stiles laughed. “I’d be more worried if you weren’t staring at me because it would mean that you weren’t listening to my lectures.”

“Vanilla or Chocolate?”

“Both,” Stiles replied.

“Hamburger or Pizza.”

“Why are making me choose? Have you people no heart!” he laughed. “Both!”

“You must pick one!”

“Uhm! Ham... no Pizza...no wait... uhm,” he mumbled. “Fine Pizza.”

“Chocolate or Ice-Cream?”

“That’s it,” Stiles concluded. “I am done, time is up! You’re all just being cruel now.”

Everyone just erupted into further laughter.

Stiles took a moment, savouring the experience because it would be a while before he was going to teach again. The job at Columbia was more administrative and while he was sad on losing out on ability to lecture the students, he was told that he will be able to take a version of his current programme over once he settled.

It was a bittersweet moment for Stiles but one that he would remember for the rest of his life.

“Don’t forget to be awesome everyone,” he finally said. “Class dismissed.”

Stiles was surprised when he saw the entire class give him a standing ovation. He was overcome with such joy that he couldn’t help but smile. He found his grin growing when he spotted his brother Scott alongside Allison as they came down the aisle.

He also noticed a few of his friends lingering at the back of the class. He saw some of them waving goodbye as his family made their way towards him.

Unfortunately before he could speak to his family, he was surrounded by tons of his students that came up to him first. They spoke to him about how sad they were that he was leaving, there were students from previous years present, and he even took pictures with a few of them. Stiles couldn’t believe that they were all there to say goodbye to him.

Eventually after the steady stream of students departed and he was finally able to see his family.

“I thought we would never the chance to talk to you,” Melissa said. “The kids really are going to miss you.”

“It appears so,” he smiled, “but this is a surprise. What are you all doing here?”

“You didn’t think we would miss your final lecture did you?” Scott grinned.

“We are here to support on you,” Melissa grinned.

“Come on Stiles,” his father grinned, “you know us better than to think we would not be here.”

“Wow,” he smiled, “I have no words.”

“Well then clearly Columbia University is in huge trouble,” his dad teased.

“Funny dad,” Stiles smiled. “I saw that Lydia, Laura and Talia were all here?”

“Cora and Isaac too,” Allison said, “but they all had to rush off to meetings and back to other engagements. They sent their regards and said that they would see you at the farewell party tonight.”

“You were truly spectacular Stiles,” Melissa gushed. “I knew you were great but that was brilliant to see you interact with the students and learn from them and you teach them and I am super impressed right now.”

“Be careful mom or you are going to inflate his ego,” Scott teased. “He’ll truly be full of himself then.”

“Watch it McCall,” his mother scolded. “Soon your brother will be on the other side of the country and then you won’t be able to taunt him so much.”

“Yes,” Stiles added. “You gotta treat me like your Prince.”

“Prince? Only in your dreams will that happen,” Scott retorted.

“When you two are done being back in high school,” their dad interrupted, “can we please go get something to eat I’m starving. I expected to be out of here 10 minutes ago.”

“The Sheriff has laid down the law,” Stiles laughed. “Let’s go.”

Stiles quickly excused himself as he packed up all of his notes before they left. While his family went off to the car, he couldn’t believe that he had just finished his last day as a lecturer in Beacon Hills.

He never thought that the day would have come so soon.

Stiles took a second to look out at the now empty lecture theatre. It had been the place where he had learned so much about himself and learned so much about people. It held a special place in his heart.

The fact that he was moving across the country was something he never thought he would do. It just showed him how unpredictable life was. Sometimes we just have to make the best out of a bad situation.

 

* * *

 

“How you doing?”

“Okay,” Derek smiled.“You?”

“Good thanks,” Laura replied, giving her brother a hug.  “Did you order already?”

“Yeah,” Derek replied, “just a cider for myself and I ordered you a glass of white wine.”

“Great.”

“Thanks for making it,” he replied.

“Well I missed my brother!”

Derek was glad that he got to see Laura. When things exploded the way they did the past weekend, he found himself talking to his sister that Sunday evening. It was a tense call in the start but they managed to get through it.

Talking to Laura had actually been helpful because she saw things in a way that he sometimes didn’t. Derek had always appreciated hearing what she had to say. He found it easier to be open with her than with any other member of their family.

 When he told her about kicking Kate to the curb, she had actually cheered but when he also told her that Stiles was leaving, she had been disheartened by it.

Derek had noticed that the two of them had formed quite the bond during the years he couldn’t recall; they had grown to be very caring of one another. He couldn’t help but picture their interaction with each other in his hospital room the very first day Laura visited. They had managed to develop a very playful relationship with each other over the years so when he told Laura the news of Stiles leaving, she had understandably been affected by it.

Once the news of Stiles’ pending departure had solidified, Lydia had insisted that they throw a farewell party.  When he had mentioned this to Laura, she made sure that he could get to Beacon Hills for it.

If Derek was being honest, he was actually glad that she made the trip. 

“How did it go?” he asked.

“It was great,” Laura replied, knowing what he meant, “Stiles was funny and everyone loved him. I didn’t realise how fun his classes were. If I had someone like that teaching me in varsity then I might have paid closer attention.”

“I managed to see his lecture yesterday and he does a great job,” Derek replied.

“I was going to ask where you were today?”

“Work prevented that from happening,” he answered, “and my presence would have only made it that much harder for him.”

“That’s true,” she replied. “You should have seen everyone tearing up when he started speaking about you.”

“He did?”

“It was during the Q and A session he had,” Laura stated. “Someone asked if you broke his heart and he said yes but that it wasn’t intentional. Stiles was really honest and made himself very vulnerable. It was a brave thing of him to do...”

Laura quickly recapped everything that happened during the final lecture for the man. When she finished, it was clear that from Derek’s body language that some of the things she said weighed heavy on his mind.

“How did it all turn out like this Laura?” he asked sombrely.

“Well I don’t have the answer to that, it was just a series of unfortunate events that ultimately resulted in the ways things are. It’s too late for us to go back and change what happened, or do things different but we just learn to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we made and try our best in the future.”

Derek recognised that his sister had a very good point, it was truly sad that things ended up the way they did but they could not go back, that was not how life worked. They had to find a way to cope and manage everything that had happened because holding onto it would only cause anger.

“How are things between you two?” Laura questioned.

“It’s been okay,” Derek replied. “We’ve been managing .Stiles’ decision to leave ended up putting a fast forward button on everything, so we talk and it’s not as tense. It’s not the same as before but I doubt it will ever be the like it was before. Like you said we can’t go back to what it was like and we just have to work with what we have.”

The impact of Stiles’ decision to leave had been a lot harder for everyone because he would have to leave as soon as possible. Columbia University wanted him to settle in quickly before the current head of the department leaves, so it had been a particularly rough week for Stiles.  

He had to get everything in order before leaving, while simultaneously corresponding with the varsity.

Added to that was the fact that he had insisted on lecturing from the Monday to Friday, so he was pretty exhausted when he got back in the evening. Even when they would both be tired, they still spoke about their days and sometimes even had friends over since Stiles was leaving on the Sunday morning.

“And you’ve made peace with that?”

“Stiles made a really difficult choice so being the friend I should’ve been all along allows me to make amends,” Derek replied. “I can see the decision is hard for him but he made up his mind so I just have to support him.”

“How’s his dad handling this?”

“He understands why Stiles is leaving,” Derek replied. “Stiles’ entire family understands. They are sad about him leaving but they trust his judgement. They love him and I can see that they only want what’s best for him. That said, it doesn’t mean that they hadn’t tried convincing him to stay.”

Stiles had been having that conversation with his dad in particular at least once a day.

“Have you?”

“Have I what?”

“Have you tried convincing him to stay?” Laura questioned.

“I feel like I lost my right to ask that of him with everything that had happened,” Derek replied. “After everything I put him through asking him to stay would be selfish. It does nothing except make things harder for him. I can’t offer him any reason to stay…”

“Well then at least show him that he has a reason to return.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“While things may not be in the best of places with the two of you,” she started, “at least show him you still care about your friendship so he won’t only have bad memories when he thinks of Beacon Hills. I could easily have chosen to stay out of town but all of you are here. I love visiting home with Jordan and the kids.”

Derek understood what his sister meant and he had to admit that she did have a point. His relationship with Stiles was friendly at the moment, but he could at least get them to be better friends before he leaves.

Every friendship hits a couple of speed bumps along the way; it’s not the speed bumps that matter but rather how the friends recover that establishes the true strength of the friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that.
> 
> I wanted you to see Stiles being all Professor-like. I do get that it does sound a bit preachy at bits but I was just exploring his world. Also it is important to discuss and create a discourse about some of these issues.
> 
> References:  
> 1\. Tom Hardy article: http://www.variety.com/2014/film/news/tom-hardy-wont-do-another-romantic-comedy-1201305218/  
> 2\. Queer Baiting- I have read over this enough for me to realise that it is definitely becoming a problem and I felt like I wanted to bring it in a bit. There are now numerous and tons of articles about shows like Teen Wolf, Supernatural, Hawaii 5-0 etc being guilty of this. Here is a link to a few articles that I used in preparation for this chapter: http://www.advocate.com/bisexuality/2014/07/17/fans-take-supernatural-task-queer-baiting ; http://tempestraven.wordpress.com/2013/10/20/teen-wolf-suffering-from-borderline-queerbaiting-because-of-sterek/ ; http://thegeekiary.com/baiting-the-fandom-that-feeds-you/4421 ; http://www.dailydot.com/geek/how-to-kill-your-fandom-sterek-queerbaiting/  
> 3\. The information regarding the 3.5% LGBT population came from here: http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/research/census-lgbt-demographics-studies/how-many-people-are-lesbian-gay-bisexual-and-transgender/  
> 4\. If you have any thoughts or comments about anything in this fic then let me know. If you think I am wrong or you disagree then don’t be scared to comment. I can concede when I make a mistake. I am only 21 (well turning 22 in a few days), I do NOT know everything.  
> 5\. This was more of a “filler” chapter, well I don’t like the word filler because it feels like I’m just unnecessarily dragging the story, but this was rather a transitional chapter. I am currently shifting into the next arc of the story so it’s important to include the transitions.  
> 6\. I would have showed the party but it added nothing to the story. It was just Stiles wandering around and one bit with Derek that I managed to shift to the next chapter.  
> 7\. This week might be a madhouse for me so I will try my best to update next week otherwise if not then definitely the week after. One of the next two chapters might be a Flashback. I am still deciding but yeah.
> 
> Find me: Trying to graduate.
> 
> Title: I Hate This Part Right Here – Pussycat Dolls  
> The tune for me is still a banger.


	20. All Good Things Come to an End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter.

“I thought that you would be sleeping in?”

“I was going to but I couldn’t,” Stiles replied, sounding tired. “I don’t think I actually slept at all...”

“Nervous?”

“Yeah,” Stiles replied. “My mind keeps wondering if I packed everything and if I have everything sorted.”

“I think that’s just a natural part of travelling.”

“True,” Stiles replied, stifling a yawn.

Stiles had been up for pretty much the entire night before; his mind swarming with thoughts about the move, his new teaching position, his family and if they were going to be alright. He had tried to calm his mind but nothing had helped.

He believed that he was doing the right thing. With everything having turned out the way it did, he needed time to figure some stuff out and reconnect with himself. Leaving Beacon Hills afforded him the opportunity to do that. It wasn’t exactly an easy decision for him to make either, but it was one that he needed to make.

He knew that a clean break was needed. If anything, the past week had been proof of that fact.

He and Derek had been on good terms with each other; they spoke and were polite towards one another. Things weren’t as awkward as before, but they were still somewhat stunted; they weren’t exactly having the most scintillating conversation but at least it was better than not talking at all.

It had been hard for Stiles. He tried burying his feelings and not paying close attention to them but occasionally it would get the better of him. He would be sitting alone with the man when suddenly he would have this feeling sitting in the pit of in his stomach.

Derek had been oblivious whenever Stiles would to go to bed early because Stiles kept using the excuse of being tired, when in actuality it was really just because he was trying to quell the feelings that occasionally cropped up.

It had not been a particularly easy week, but it was manageable.

Stiles did appreciate the fact that the man didn’t hassle him further about leaving. He was having enough of a hard time with that fact. He wasn’t just leaving behind his life in Beacon Hills, but rather everything that he had come to know over the course of his life.

He wouldn’t be completely lost in New York City because he had been there before, but he was moving there and that had its own unfamiliarity. It was going to be permanent and the implications of that made it a lot harder for Stiles than he anticipated.

Whenever he had been filled with doubts about his decision, it was usually then that he ended up calling his brother. However on one particular instance, he had unexpectedly ended up speaking to his father:

“Is it normal that I doubt my decision?” Stiles finally asked when his father pressed him on the real reason he was calling Scott. “On the one hand I feel like I’m doing the right thing but on the other I feel like I am potentially making the biggest mistake of my life right now...”

“I think that considering you are making a pretty huge life change,” his dad replied, “having a few doubts is only natural Stiles. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t, but you know why you are doing this. It’s not for some flimsy reason because you’re never one to do something on a whim. It’s because you feel that leaving Beacon Hills is going to benefit you more than staying would, right?”

“Yes,” Stiles replied.

“You have been put through a lot over these past few months, enduring more than a normal person would,” his dad said. “You’ve always been rational and you’ve never done anything reckless so why would you start now?  I trust your decision Stiles, and I know that you wouldn’t be going if you didn’t trust that you were doing what is right for you. Your doubts are just the nerves talking.”

Stiles recognised that his dad had a point, and in that moment he felt like his nerves and worries about everything had been temporarily alleviated. It was a huge undertaking to uproot his life for something entirely unknown but Stiles wasn’t just doing it on a whim.

The further he and Derek had been growing in recent weeks had been slowly nudging him towards taking up the offer from Columbia University; the Kate fall out had really been the tipping point where he realised that maybe going to the other side of the country wasn’t the worse thing in the world.

“When did you get so smart Dad?” Stiles teased.

“When you started slacking,” John Stilinski retorted.

“I never started slacking,” Stiles scoffed.

“Your 10th grade report card says otherwise Stiles,” John replied.

“Are you never going to let that go? Stiles laughed.

“I’m a parent,” John Stilinski replied. “We remember everything.”

Stiles had been surprised by his dad’s advice, even though he had no reason to be. He had just been so used to his dad trying to convince him to stay that he forgot how his dad often offered up amazing advice whenever he spoke to him about an issue he was facing.

“Thanks for the sage advice Dad,” he replied eventually.

“Stiles,” his dad said, “I may not want you to go for selfish reasons but you do have my support.”

“That means a lot Dad,” Stiles answered.

“I love you Stiles,” his father replied. “We all love you and we will all be there whenever you need. We only want you to be happy, and if this makes you happy then we’ll support you no matter what.”

Stiles could still had hear the “ _you know why you are doing this_ ” ringing in his head when he had ended the call with his father. It was ringing in his head because he knew precisely why he was leaving.

The motive was because he was in love with a man who could never love him back. He had found that once in a lifetime kind of love that ignited his heart and soul and that excited him every morning when he woke up in the arms of the man he loved. Now that relationship was nonexistent.

Unforeseen circumstances, various difficulties, secrets and mistakes had all played a part in the ending of that once in a lifetime love.

He had tried to keep it together and tried to get past it but his heart wouldn’t let him. Added was the chance that Derek could regain his memories, but all that had done was allow him to cling to the possibility of a miracle as if it had been undisputed fact. He had let his eternal optimism get in the way of his reality thereby giving him a reason to stay... but it didn’t matter anymore.

He had to accept that _his_ Derek wasn’t going to make a miraculous appearance. He had to move on and put it behind him otherwise he’d become stuck in a rut where he would have no clue of getting out. Stiles couldn’t handle seeing the reminder that Derek had become, knowing what he had lost out on. It would drive him crazy.

It had been all of that which gave him reason to leave.

Derek was trying to get on with his life too and yet everyone was constantly reminding him about what he lost. That was bound to have an effect on the man. He had been rebuilding his life on top of the mess that he had been left with and instead of being defeated, he had worked at it. He managed to find himself in a stable place, which was truly commendable.

He had climbed the mountain of his injury and made it to the top.

Stiles had sincerely tried his best to be there for the man, and help where he could but it was evident now that he was fine. Stiles had been there for Derek like he said he would, but it was time that he focused on himself. Going to New York was the first step towards that direction.

He was putting his needs and emotions first, and while it was hard, it did feel fulfilling.

“You want something to drink?” Derek asked returning him to the present.

“I would love to but I need to rush to the university and pick up some documents,” Stiles replied, “and then I’m coming home to finish packing my things before Scott picks me up.”

“I thought you had everything you needed from them?”

“There was something that the Head of The Department needed to sign off on,” Stiles answered, “and if I know anything about that man it is that he often leaves things to the last minute so now on the day that I leave I have to go to him.”

Derek watched as Stiles got up from his chair, about to go to his room and realised that his opportunity would be lost if didn’t speak up.

“Stiles,” Derek started, nervously fidgeting. “Would you mind if I take you to the airport instead?”

“What?” Stiles replied, caught off guard by the request.

“I know that things have not been easy and that I’ve been a crap friend recently, but I feel like this is one of the ways that I get to make it up to you before you go.”

 “Derek you don’t have to do that,” Stiles replied. “Scott said he didn’t mind taking me…”

“I feel responsible for you going,” Derek answered, “and if things hadn’t turned out the way they did then maybe you wouldn’t be going. Unfortunately I can’t change that, but doing this for you is the only way that I can think of to make it up to you.”

Stiles had been very surprised by what he heard the man say. It had caught him off guard, and Stiles was a bit apprehensive about it because he had legitimate reasons to decline the man’s offer. He didn’t have anything against the idea of Derek taking him, but if he did it meant spending more time together.

Stiles felt very conflicted.

 “Besides,” Derek continued, “It would save Scott the effort of having to come all the way here to pick you up and then only to go the airport.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“I was going to drive in anyway so it would not be a hassle.”

As he looked at the man, he realised that rejecting the man’s request would leave things uncomfortably for both of them, and that was the last thing he wanted. Stiles recognised that Derek was however being sincere and wanted to do it because if he didn’t he wouldn’t have offered otherwise.

 “Okay then,” Stiles agreed.

“Thanks,” Derek nodded.

“Okay,” Stiles. “I’ll see you in a few hours time.”

“Cool.”

Stiles left Derek alone in the kitchen, as he went to shower.

Derek had felt somewhat awkward about the request because he didn’t want to make things uncomfortable for the man on his last day, but he had to find a way to speak to Stiles before he left. 

 He would have done it this morning but the man had barely even slept and he still needed some time to get his thoughts together about what he was going to tell Stiles. After his chat with Laura on the Friday he had realised that he needed to show the man that he still cared about their friendship.  

Every friendship hits a couple of speed bumps along the way; he just hoped that they still had a friendship and that everything would out well in the end.

* * *

 

 

Laura _:    How’d it go?_

Derek _: I had to improvise._

Laura _:    How so?_

Derek _: Stiles had to go somewhere this morning and_

_I needed more time to figure out what_

_I wanted to say, so now I’m taking him to the airport._

Laura _:    You going to talk to him in the car?_

Derek: _Something like that, I haven’t thought it all out_.

Laura:    _Okay. Well make sure you go_

_through with it this time!!!_

Derek _: Yes Mom..._ (-__-)

Laura: _Call me mom again and you will regret it_!(X__X)

Derek: Haha.

Laura _:    Don’t forget to let me know how it goes?_

Derek: _Okay. I hope everyone is safe back home._

Laura _:    Jordan is currently in the beginning stages of his manflu,_

_and that is usually the semi-worst stage._

_-Sigh-_

Derek: _Haha. Good luck. Chat later._

Laura: _Bye._

Derek had just put his phone down after reading Laura’s last message when he saw Stiles walk out of the room with the last of the bags.

“Let me help you with that,” Derek replied.

“Thanks,” Stiles replied, closing the room door behind him.

“Do you have everything that you need?”

“I think so,” Stiles said.

“Okay,” Derek replied. “The other stuff I already moved into the car so it’s just this stuff.”

“Thanks,” Stiles nodded. “Uhm, I’ll be back in a couple weeks or so to collect the last of my things from the apartment and then we can move the apartment onto your name as well.”

“Okay,” Derek nodded.

Stiles looked at the apartment and started feeling nostalgic. He was going to miss the place.

It had initially been the place where he and Scott had moved into once they graduated out of their parents’ home; late nights working on assignments, parties which he barely remembered and times calling their mother because they had no food in the house.

It had all happened there.

When Scott moved out he had been faced with maybe moving out too, but he was fortunate that he and Derek had been dating for long enough where he could ask the man to move in. He had been so scared when he had asked Derek, but it turned out to be one of the best decisions he had ever made...at least before of all the recent drama had happened.

The apartment had been one of the many constants in his life throughout all the various changes he experienced.  It was a place of many laughs, tears, stories of mayhem and too many good times to remember. It held memories of emotional moments too but that was what made it so special to him.

It had been the place where he grew into the man he was today. Letting go of the place that held such significance to him had been hard but it had to happen eventually.

“Here is my set of keys,” Stiles said handing them over to Derek. “Take good care of this place.”

“I will,” Derek smiled.

Their hands grazed ever so slightly as they exchanged the keys.

Stiles and Derek both instantly felt the shock of static electricity as their hands came into contact.

They momentarily locked eyes with each other before breaking their gaze.

“We should get going,” Derek announced, clearing his throat.

“Yeah,” Stiles replied.

Stiles surveyed the apartment one last time, before he and Derek grabbed the last of the bags and made their way to the car. He could not believe that it had all come down to this, because he had never thought that he would have entertained the idea of leaving Beacon Hills never mind actually moving out of town.

Unfortunately all good things come to an end.

The car ride to the airport had been relatively peaceful and quiet along the way.

Derek had wasted no time to get them to their destination. Stiles had actually been surprised by how quickly Derek had driven, because it wasn’t like they had been in a rush.  They had budgeted for enough time so Derek didn’t need to drive as fast as he did.

Stiles had noticed that the man was particularly restless along the way, but he didn’t make too much of it because he was just as restless if not more so. Derek had on a few occasions started a talking to Stiles but they usually dwindle off not long after.

If Stiles didn’t know better, he would have assumed that the man had something on his chest that he wanted to voice, but for the rest of the ride they maintained the silence that lingered between them.

When they had made it to the airport, they drove around a few short minutes before Derek quickly found a parking spot outside which was situated close to the entrance that Stiles needed to be.

“That was a lot quicker than I expected.”

“Sorry,” Derek said.

“It’s all good,” Stiles nodded. “Thanks for the ride.”

Stiles was about to get out the car when Derek stopped him.

“Stiles, can you wait a second?”

“Uhm,” Stiles replied, sounding uncertain. “Sure.”

Stiles waited in silence for what felt like a long time before Derek finally spoke up.

“I am sorry Stiles,” Derek finally voiced.

Stiles had been surprised by what Derek had said. Of all the things he pictured the man saying, an apology was not it.

“I really sorry,” he continued, “for everything I have done that has hurt you. I never intended to hurt you with the Kate situation and clearly I have severely damaged our friendship. I am sorry for the pain you’ve endured from my obliviousness and ignorance.”

“I’ve been careless about your feelings and kept ignoring the fact that you loved me as much as you did because, it was easier for me. I chose the easy way out because I was too scared to deal with the ramifications of that and what it meant for me.”

“We clearly shared a closeness and it was that fact which unnerved me,” Derek replied. “Not only looking around the apartment and seeing the bond we shared, but also hearing from others that we had a unique relationship we had was something that I didn’t know how to handle tactfully. I know I should have told you this sooner but I am really truly sorry about everything.”

“I respect and understand your decision to leave because you are doing what’s best for you; I’m just sorry that leaving Beacon Hills and your life here behind is a part of that. I really hope that everything goes well for you in New York. I wish you nothing but the best Stiles. I just wanted to let you know that I still consider you a friend and I hope that you still consider me as one too.”

They were finally having the honest conversation that should have been had earlier in the week, and Stiles was glad about but, he was only sad that it had to be in the airport parking lot.

“Thank you,” Stiles smiled. “I appreciate you saying that. I want to apologise for making you feel like your recovery was being stunted by the constant reminder of what your life used to be like. You’ve made so much progress and I’m glad of that Derek. I really am.”

“Thanks.”

“I think we both realise how badly things turned out,” Stiles started, “but I do appreciate everything you said. I will be honest and say that while I am currently not in the best place to offer you friendship, I do still consider you a friend Derek. It would be stupid of me to offer you something that I am not ready for so I do hope that you do not take offense. It’s nothing against you; it’s just that I need some time.”

Derek appreciated Stiles’ honesty. It was a very important distinction he made between not being ready for a friendship with the man at the moment, but still not willing to give it up entirely. It wasn’t easy for Derek to hear, but he understood the significance of what the man said.

He was putting his emotional state first, instead of agreeing to something that would be considered as the “right thing”. Derek recognised in that moment that Stiles had taken a huge step for himself.

“I think that maybe once I’ve settled into life in New York then you could visit me and then we could build our friendship again?”

“Sure,” Derek replied.

Derek was glad that they were finally able to clear the air. It should have been done a while ago but better late than never. The fact that Stiles extended him an invitation to visit in New York was a very good sign that they did have a friendship. It would take work from both of them but clearly they were off to a promising start.

Derek was surprised when Stiles unbuckled his seat and offered him a hug.

He accepted it because it was a peace offering showing him that he was being sincere. Throughout the entire time that they had been together, they had never once hugged each other and if there was ever a time to hug, it had to be then.

Derek hugged Stiles, squeezing the man as gently as Stiles was hugging him.

However as he did so, he was alerted to an unexpected impending danger.

As Derek was hugging Stiles he spotted a speeding van that was about to collide with the car in a matter of seconds. There was no time to get out of the car, and before he could think, instinct had taken over as he tightened his grip around Stiles’ body and placed one of his hands on the room of the car to brace himself for impact.

Seconds later there was this violent collision which hit the car with such speed and force, it made the car flip over and soar through the air for a few seconds.

Those seconds felt like an eternity.

 Time had slowed down for Derek. He didn't know if they would make it our alive but in that moment he knew he had done the right thing that at least ensured them a _chance_ of surviving. He couldn’t tell which way was up as the car flipped through the air, because all he saw was flashes of blue and grey.

Derek didn't know what was happening because the last thing he remembered feeling was the tightening of his seatbelt and then being submerged into total darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kidding. It’s not the final chapter. I was just being cruel. Don’t hurt me.
> 
> 1\. The car crash though.  
> 2\. I hope you are all still enjoying the story.  
> 3\. What has made this story interesting for me, but also been part of my fear as I write this, is their changing voices. They have gone through a lot that I’ve had to change how I’ve written them as the story progressed but also still having to stay true to their character personalities. It has NOT been an easy thing for me since I am still learning but I’ve loved the experience.  
> 4\. After the last chapter felt a bit off for me I made sure that as soon as I started ‘losing’ their voices I reread the entire story or pieces I feel are relevant to a chapter so that while things might be different, you can still hear them. I tend to do this every so often because real-life preoccupies my mind so I have to just flip the switch in my brain to get back into story mode.  
> 5\. I promise that I'm not dragging out the story unnecessarily. This has been planned for 4 chapters so it's all part of the plan.
> 
> Find Me: listening to the new Tove Lo album. Do yourself a favour and go get it. It’s so good!
> 
> Title: All Good Things Come to an End – Nelly Furtado  
> The Nelly Furtado Loose album was utter perfection. She change genres from indie-folk into pop and boy did it pay off in spades because that album was pop perfection. Her subsequent music has been so good but Loose was amazeballs.


	21. Latch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback Time. I know you were expecting a follow up to the cliffhanger of the last chapter but that will be the next chapter. I hope you enjoy.

**_8 October 2011_ **

 

Derek had forgotten to take his suit when he left that morning so instead of just getting ready like he should have been doing that very moment, he had to make a detour after picking up Peter and go back to the apartment to get it.

He shouldn’t have been surprised because nothing was ever really smooth sailing when it came to being a Hale.  

Something was always bound to go wrong.

He had called Stiles before he arrived so that his boyfriend could have his suit waiting for him. It would be a quick handover; at least that was what he had hoped.

He ran up the stairs to their apartment because the elevators would have taken too long and knocked on the door. He was unable to use his own set of keys to unlock the apartment door because he had left them in the car.

 Derek was left awestruck when Stiles opened the door.

“How do ever get anything accomplished without my help?” Stiles smirked.

Derek just gazed at him. He was dressed in crisp white shirt, smart shoes, with a plain black tie and a pair of pants the fitted him perfectly. There was nothing spectacular about what he was wearing except for the fact that he was spectacular. Derek felt his mouth go dry because he was staring at perfection.

There was something mesmerising about the way that Stiles looked and he couldn’t help but stare at the man.

“What is it Derek?” Stiles asked somewhat alarmed by Derek’s expression.

Derek wasted no time in kissing his boyfriend.

Stiles was caught off guard by the sudden kiss, but he soon relaxed into it and enjoyed it. He felt the firm grasp of Derek’s hand in the small of his back and he reciprocated by running one of his hands through Derek’s hair.

They were momentarily lost in each other. Nothing mattered except for their lips moving together, their bodies pressed tightly against one another and the sound of their heavy breathing when they finally broke the kiss.

“Is there ever gonna be a time when you are going to be the first to break our kiss?” Stiles gasped, out of breath.

“I can’t help it,” Derek smiled. “It’s just what you do to me.”

They were suddenly interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their voice.

“Do you boys want me to go for a walk or something?” John Stilinski said.

“Sheriff,” Derek stammered, seemingly flustered.

“Hello Derek,” John Stilinski greeted. “So do you guys need me to go or ?”

“Dad,” Stiles chastised, “Stop being facetious.”

 “Just asking,” he shrugged innocently.

“Yeah right,” Stiles laughed.

“Why didn’t you tell me your dad was here?” Derek whispered, only loud enough for him to hear.

“It’s not like I had the time,” Stiles smiled, “and you knew he was picking me up for the wedding.”

“I’ve had other stuff on my mind,” Derek replied.

“I could tell,” Stiles grinned.

“It’s not my fault my boyfriend looks hot,” Derek countered.

“Sure, just blame your sexy boyfriend,” Stiles sighed.

“I can still hear you boys,” John Stilinski piped up.

“Block your ears dad,” Stiles replied.

Derek couldn’t help but smile at his boyfriend.

“So I would love to do nothing more than sex you right now on the kitchen counter,” Derek growled, “but I unfortunately that would make me exceptionally late. Can I please get my suit?”

Stiles couldn’t help but go slightly red at what his boyfriend had said as he unhooked the suit from where he placed it behind the door. He couldn’t hide the huge grin on his face he had as he handed over the suit to his boyfriend.

“Thank you Stiles,” Derek replied pecking his boyfriend on the lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Stiles grinned. “See you at the wedding.”

“Don’t miss me too much,” Derek winked.

“Likewise,” Stiles grinned.

They kissed for one last time before Derek dashed off to the wedding with his suit in hand.

“You enjoy making him nervous don’t you?” Stiles asked his dad once they were alone.

“Well as the father of the person he is dating and sheriff of our town,” his father smiled, “it is my responsibility to make your boyfriend nervous from time to time, especially since I’ve never known Derek to get nervous.”

“An abuse of Dad responsibilities I’d say,” Stiles laughed.

“You saw how much fun Chris had with Scott?” John replied. “It’s only fair for a father to be protective of their children and make their significant other’s sweat a little.”

“You remember the time Scott almost spilled an entire bottle of wine onto his lap because he had been so nervous?”

“I’d never seen him so nervous,” John replied. “Even when I took you boys to the gun range that one time, he handled it better than you did.”

“In my defense,” Stiles replied, “how was I supposed to know that I would practically go deaf from how loud it was?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone hit the floor so quickly,” his father laughed, “and that coming from a police officer has to be saying something.”

“Are you going to make me relive embarrassing moments or are we going to go pick up Scott and Melissa?” Stiles deadpanned.

“We _should_ get going,” his father replied looking at his watch.

“Alright then.”

Stiles quickly finished up and retrieved his suit’s blazer, and the wedding gifts that he and Derek had picked out for Jennifer and Peter. Technically one was actually a gift for their newborn son, and the other was a gift for them.

“Stiles,” his father started, when he returned with everything he needed. “I just wanted to say before we leave that I couldn’t be happier for you and Derek. As a parent all we ever want is for our children is to obtain a great education, be happy, and hope that they find someone who loves them as much as we do. I am glad that you have managed to accomplish all of that. I can tell that you are truly happy because I’ve never seen you be as carefree and so full of life.”

“It’s obvious not just to me but I’m sure to everyone else that you and Derek really have something special. Seeing you happy and living your life to the fullest extent has really made me so happy. I was worried in the start because I had never seen you react to someone in such a way but once I noticed how happy you were, all my worries vanished. I am really glad that you were able to find someone who loves you for all the special qualities that you possess.”

Stiles had been surprised by everything his dad had said, but hearing it had also come as a relief. He always valued and cherished his dad’s advice so to hear him say that, had meant everything to Stiles.

“Thanks Dad,” Stiles sincerely answered. “It means a lot to me to hear you say that.”  

“I just don’t want you to think that my giving Derek the occasional hard time means that I don’t approve because I do.”

Stiles walked over and hugged his father.

They didn’t hug as much as they used to when it was just the two of them, but they still would make an effort to hug one another. His dad had even taken to hugging his brother and Scott had been embarrassed by it in the start but soon he had even initiated the hugging.

“I love you Dad,” Stiles answered.

“I love you too Son,” John replied. “Now let’s go or we’ll never make it to that wedding on time.”

 

* * *

 

 

Stiles had to dry his eyes more than a few times throughout the ceremony.

It had been very lovely witnessing the entire thing. Stiles had been caught off guard by Peter’s emotional vows. He never knew that Peter had it in him. It wasn’t like he didn’t think that the man could do heart-warming but it’s just that...he didn’t _think_ that Peter Hale could do heart-warming.

But apparently love could make you do crazy things.

“My word,” Talia Hale commented, as she came to standstill besides Stiles. “Don’t you look gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” he blushed. “I was just about to say the same thing about you Talia. You look radiant.”

“Oh Stiles,” she smiled. “You know exactly the right thing to say to make a lady feel special.”

“It’s the truth,” he smiled.

“You are far too kind,” she smiled. “Are you doing okay out here?”

“I am doing well Talia,” he smiled. “The fresh air is doing me some good. Thank you for asking and yourself?”

“I am happy,” she replied. “My little brother got married today which, if I’m being honest, was something that I never thought would happen. Peter had so many walls up and he is not the easiest of people to love but he found love, and I couldn’t be happier for him.”

“I was just mulling over the ceremony and it was really lovely. I didn’t know that he could be so emotional.”

“You and me both,” Talia smiled, “but I think that Jennifer understands him in a way that few do and she is able to bring out the best of him. I am glad he has someone like her in his life.”

“Me too,” he answered.

“Where’s my son?” Talia asked. “I thought he would be with you.”

“He called to say that he was on his way, he just ran into some unexpected traffic,” Stiles answered.

“Do you want to come inside with me so long then?”

“I’m okay thanks,” Stiles nervously shifted.

“Okay then,” Talia smiled. “I will see you inside then.”

“See you,” he smiled.

Stiles was only waiting outside because everyone else was already seated and he wasn’t exactly thrilled to go to the bridal party table where he would know absolutely no one. He didn’t want to be that awkward person on his phone.

He never really struggled to make friends but he was feeling unusually nervous.

Not much time had passed until Derek arrived with Jennifer and Peter not far behind him.

“I thought you’d be inside already?”

 “I waited for you instead,” he pursed.

Stiles didn’t have to elaborate further for Derek to understand what he had meant. Derek could see that his boyfriend was nervous and he had waited for him so that he wouldn’t have to sit at alone surrounded by people who he barely knew.

“I think we should make our way in then before the groom and his bride enter.”

“Okay then.”

Derek grabbed a hold of Stiles hand as he led them to their table at the wedding reception.

They instantly felt like everyone’s eyes were suddenly directed towards them as they made their way to their table. Derek assumed because most of them had not expected to see a gay couple at a wedding but he blocked them out because no matter what anyone else thought it wasn’t important.

He was here to support his uncle and that was the only thing that mattered.

As soon as they settled down Peter and Jennifer entered, causing everyone to rise to their feet and start cheering for the newly wedded couple. They both looked extremely happy as they strolled in, grinning from ear to ear and both glowing.

Stiles always felt like seeing other couples in love and happy just lifted your mood. Weddings were just such festive occasions and he had been fortunate to have never experienced a bad one.

Stiles felt like the rest of the night flowed seamlessly from one point to another; from the speeches to the first dance, to the food and to the dancing, it all happened a lot quicker than he had anticipated.

 Everyone had started mingling with each other and having such a great time.

What had caught both Derek and Stiles by surprise was that they had ended up being the popular couple at the wedding, excluding the bride and groom of course.

“How long have you two been together?” one girl asked.

“About 10 months,” Stiles replied.

“O-M-G,” she replied. “That’s like the cutest thing ever! You are like thee cutest couple ever.”

“Thanks,” he replied, hoping that someone would come rescue him from his current company. 

“Would you love to dance?” his boyfriend asked, as if he had just read Stiles’ mind.

“You sure?” Stiles asked. “There’s a lot of people here.”

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Derek replied.

“No,” Stiles hastily replied. “I want to.”

He quickly gave the young lady whom he had been having a conversation with an apologetic look as Derek led him onto the dance floor.

“I’ve never done this before,” Stiles blushed, once they were on the dance floor.

“Me too,” Derek smiled.

“So I take it you’re nervous too,” Stiles smiled.

“Currently wetting my pants,” Derek laughed.

Both men had laughed nervously which had managed to make them feel less stressed and worried about whatever was happening around them as they started dancing.

Stiles recognised that for them to be dancing together was a huge achievement because Derek never did things like this, and so he couldn’t believe that he was finally getting the chance to dance with his boyfriend.

Soon enough, Stiles and Derek were swaying to the melodic sounds of the slow tempo music that poured from the speakers.

“You look like you needed out of that conversation with that girl,” Derek smirked.

“You saved me from being rude,” Stiles replied, seemingly a lot more relaxed. “When hearing “like”, “omg” or “thee cutest” for 5 minutes straight you tend to reach your limit after a while. I was 1 minute away from walking away from her.”

“You withstood that for way longer than what I would have,” Derek laughed. “Rather you than me.”

“Glad you are finding this funny,” Stiles sighed. “I seriously worry about the younger generation. They are losing out on so much and are solely fixed on what new gadget they can get their grubby little hands on.”

 “Well it’s not like we’re exactly exempt from being as technologically obsessed as they are,” Derek countered.

“The difference being it’s not the only thing in our lives,” Stiles replied. “We don’t let that stuff rule our lives. For most of the kids these days, it’s the only thing in their lives.”

“You do have a point,” Derek replied.

“Sorry,” Stiles replied. “I’m ranting.”

“It’s okay,” Derek smiled. “I love it when you rant because you get so flustered and there’s this ferocity that comes out of you, which you rarely let me see.”

“Really?” Stiles asked, caught off guard by the comment.

“Yes,” Derek smiled. “You’re not usually aware of it but you get so passionate and this mini-tiger comes out of you when you start ranting. It reminds me that there is more to you than meets the eye.”

“You are so lame to find something like that entertaining,” Stiles laughed.

“I’m not lame,” Derek retorted. “I’m just a man in love.”

Stiles couldn’t help but blush at what his boyfriend had said.

He momentarily broke their gaze, and he was surprised when he realised that everyone else had been watching the two of them dancing.

“Not to freak you out,” Stiles replied, returning his attention to Derek, “but about 90% of everyone here is watching us right now.”

“None of those people matter to me right now Stiles,” Derek answered. “Only you do.”

Derek used his left hand and gently titled Stiles’ head as he kissed the man.

Stiles felt the kiss send a shock throughout his entire body. It was a gentle kiss, which was different for them, but it was as memorable as every one of their passionate and fierce kisses. Stiles could feel the goosebumps begin to rise on his skin as their kiss persisted.

That moment was their little infinity. Nothing else outside of that moment mattered for Derek and Stiles other than the fact that they were kissing the person that they loved.

When Stiles reluctantly broke the kiss, he was on cloud nine and couldn’t help but stare lovingly at his boyfriend.

“That was amazing,” Stiles rasped, as he rested his forehead against Derek’s.

“Because you are amazing,” he whispered.

Once they returned from their little infinity, they were alerted to the fact that everyone was clapping and cheering. Once they remembered where they were, they were surprised to find that the reason why everyone was clapping and cheering was because of them.

“You’re gonna want to remember this moment,” Cora grinned, as she popped up from nowhere to take their picture.

Stiles quickly turned to face her, but Derek couldn’t help but stare at the man beside him.

He had found something with Stiles that he had never imagined existed. He had never anticipated that he would have found such a deep love with his best friend.

He was in love with Stiles and nothing could even come close to describing how he felt.

He leaned in to kiss the man on his cheek, and as he did so, a flash of light had gone off simultaneously.

“That was so cheeky of you,” Cora commented when she had finished taking their photo.

“Very,” Stiles grinned, looking at the man beside him.

“Oh wow,” Cora announced.

“What?” Stiles replied. “Did the picture turn out horrendously?”

“Anything but,” she replied. “I think it is pure perfection.”

Once Cora showed them the picture, both men couldn’t believe how well the picture had turned out.

“Wow,” Stiles finally said.

“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Derek replied.

“I need to go show everyone,” Cora announced as she dashed off, giddy to show the picture to everyone.

The two men were left standing on the dance floor, everyone having returned their focus back onto their own conversations and people, no longer lingering their gaze on the young men.

“You want to make out somewhere?” Stiles smirked.

“I’d thought you’d never ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I apologise for any errors. I am currently under heavy deadlines.
> 
> 1\. I loved the dancing bit.  
> 2\. I realise that it’s been a while since a flashback but don’t worry it does serve a purpose. I hope you enjoyed it. I do understand that it might feel like I’m taking you out of the story but I felt like a palate cleanser was needed.  
> 3\. The next few chapters are going to be interest and not the easiest... be warned.
> 
> Find me: trying to write a 4000 word essay due Monday. *sniff* 
> 
> Title: Latch – Sam Smith (acoustic)  
> I didn’t realise what a banger of tune the song was until this year. I only discovered Sam Smith this year and that lead me onto Disclosure’s stuff. The original dance version from the Disclosure brothers are amazing but acoustic version that Sam does is amazing too. I went with that version because it is more emotional. I usually try to not repeat the use of the same artist but I am so tired right now from being overworked and none of the other music I listened fit this chapter.


	22. The Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy. All errors are my own. Sorry for them.

“What do you think?” Talia smiled as she stared at Michael.

“It was very nice,” Michael grinned. “Everyone looks pretty! Uncle Derek and Uncle Stiles too!”

“They were the prettiest couple there I think,” she smiled.

“But Mommy and Daddy were the prettiest!”

“I meant besides your Mommy and Daddy,” she replied, “Uncle Derek and Uncle Stiles were the second prettiest.”

“Do you think that Uncle Stiles will play New York-New York again with me?”

“Unfortunately Uncle Stiles won’t be able to play with you,” she stated. “He will be moving to New York.”

“Isn’t it still too dangerous?” he asked, his eyes wide with shock.

“The Avengers made it safe so he will be fine,” she grinned, worry apparent on his face.

“Will we see him again?” Michael asked.

“Uncle Stiles did say that he will visit,” she answered, “and that he will miss you and everyone a lot.”

The children had been particularly sad when Stiles told them that he wouldn’t see them as often any more. Talia remember the look of sadness on their faces; and while the kids were sad about Stiles leaving, she thought that it was actually Stiles who looked sadder as he told them.

It was clear that he was trying his best to hold back the tears. 

“Is that really me in the video?” Michael suddenly exclaimed as he pointed at the screen.

“Yes,” she smiled, returning to the present. “You were so small.”

“Now I’m a big boy,” he smiled.

“You are a very big boy and you’ll only keep growing!”

“Will I be as big as Daddy one day?”

“If you keep eating your vegetables then you will be,” she replied.

“Then I don’t want to be like Daddy anymore,” he said.

“You are too smart for our own age,” she laughed as she started tickling him.

The sudden ringing of her phone interrupted their wedding video viewing.

“Hello?”

As Talia Hale received the news that her son had been in another accident, her stomach sank. When Stiles had initially told her the news of Derek’s accident she had the young man to lean on and keep her focused. Now that she heard that both men had been in an accident, she couldn’t help but involuntarily gasp at the news.

She wanted to know what exactly happened but all that was said was that she would have to go to the hospital to find out more.

 If she knew anything it was that that wasn’t ever really a good sign.

As soon as she put down the phone, instead of falling apart, she jumped into action and called the person most likely to know about whatever was happening. Melissa Stilinski was the one person who would know what exactly had happened to their children; however Talia was surprised when the person who picked up the phone wasn’t Melissa.

“Hello?”

“John is that you?”

“Talia?” he said. “I was just about to call you.”

“I heard what happened to the boys,” she said. “Is everything okay? I heard that they were in some kind of accident???”

“A driver of a van had a heart attack and lost control of the car,” he said. “He knocked into the boys who were still in the car. Scott took Melissa into the hospital I’m currently helping the officials on the scene and as soon as I can I will make it to the hospital. ”

“How are you even managing?”

“Because it’s what Stiles would want,” he said. “I have the answers that I need so that when my son wakes up, I will be able to tell him what happened.  I sorted out everything at work so when I go to be by his side I won’t be forced to leave until I want to.”

“I’m on my way there now,” she replied.

“I’ll see you there,” he said.

“Bye.”

She quickly ended the call and then turned her attention to everything that s _he_ needed to do before she made her way to the hospital. Talia tried maintaining positive thoughts because hopefully it would all be okay.

The last time something like this had happened it had unfortunately resulted in her son losing his memory of the last four years, but she was hopeful that this time it would turn out better. She would not entertain any negative thoughts.

“Cora,” Talia called.

“Yes Mom,” Cora replied, coming down the stairs.

“Derek and Stiles were in an accident and I’m on my way to the hospital now,” she said. “Would you mind looking after the kids while I’m gone?”

“Of course,” she replied, her voice full of concern.

“Ella is asleep and Michael will be fine once you put on The Avengers for him,” she said. “If Ella needs her bottle...”

“Mom,” Cora interrupted, “we’ll be fine. It won’t be first time looking after them, just call me as soon as you know anything okay?”

“Will do,” she said. “Ask Isaac is he could stay for the night because I’m not sure how long I’ll be at the hospital and I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Okay,” she replied. “Are you okay to drive?”

“I will be fine,” she smiled. “Right now Derek and Stiles’ well-being is the only thing that matters.”

“Drive safe.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too,” Cora said.

* * *

 

Derek woke up, sitting upright immediately.

“Sit back,” Melissa Stilinski said. “You’re in the hospital and you’re fine.”

Derek was relieved to see a familiar face around him.

“What’s going on? What happened?”

“You and Stiles were in a car accident,” she said. “A van knocked into your car at the airport.”

Derek felt it slowly coming back to him. He and Stiles had been sitting in the car when a van had suddenly hit them, sending their car flying through the air. He tried shielding them as best as he could but he didn’t know how successful he had been.

“Where’s Stiles? Is he okay?”

“His injuries are more severe than yours,” she said, “and they are currently operating on him at the moment.”

“I need to see where he is,” Derek said sitting up.

“Derek Hale,” Melissa sternly said, “you will sit down and let me finish placing your stitches. I am equally concerned about my son’s welfare as you are, and honestly I wish I could be in the operating room knowing what’s happening, but working on you is my current priority. You are my patient and your well-being is as important to me as Stiles’.”

“You _will_ let me do my job,” she continued. “If you resist then I will sedate you because if I don’t do these stitches properly then it can get infected and lead to other issues that neither of us would want.”

Derek could see the concern on her face and he knew that she was trying her best to keep it together. He could only imagine how hard it must be for her not to know what was happening with Stiles. He was already worried and he was just a friend.

He slowly sat back and let her do what she needed.

Derek wanted nothing more than to find out what had happened to Stiles but he trusted that if anyone knew anything about what was happening with Stiles, it would have to be her.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I have a killer headache and my body feels a little tender, but everything considered I feel fine.”

“You have a few cuts and scrapes on your body but you managed to escape relatively unscathed,” she said. “You knocked your head hard which caused you to need stitches but you will survive. As soon as I finish these sutures the doctor will ask you a few questions, and once he deems everything in order you will be discharged.”

“I’m not being admitted?”

“Luckily not,” she answered.

There was a moment of silence after that. Derek didn’t know what to say.

 It was a particularly difficult situation and he couldn’t help but feel guilty about everything that had happened. It seemed unfair that somehow he had managed to make it out relatively unharmed but yet Stiles was undergoing surgery.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment.

“Sorry for what?”

“For everything that happened,” Derek explained. “If I hadn’t wanted to talk to Stiles then we would have gotten out of the car and then none of this would have happened.”

“Derek,” she started, “you have nothing to be sorry for. From what the paramedics said, it could have turned out horrifically if you didn’t protect yourself and Stiles the way you did. Had Stiles been buckled in, he would have actually been killed.”

“You gave him a chance that he otherwise wouldn’t have had,” she explained. “So thank you...You have nothing to feel guilty about, because everything that happened was out of your control. You did the right thing so don’t beat yourself up about it okay?”

He nodded.

“Promise me Derek Hale,” she pressed. “I know how you and Stiles both get into your own heads sometimes and internalise things so promise me.”

“I promise,” he sighed.

“Good,” she smiled. “We’re all done too.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll just get the doctor and then soon you’ll be discharged,” she pursed. “I don’t have to remind you to stay put right?”

“I’ll be here.”

Melissa quickly left, and went to find a doctor that would need to check out Derek before he was discharged.  She quickly found one of the doctors and passed on all of Derek’s information before she went in search of Talia.

Before checking on Derek, one of her fellow nurses had informed her about someone named Talia wanting information about their boys. She had told the nurse to inform Talia that as soon as she had learned anything then Melissa would tell her.

“How are they doing?” Talia asked after she spotted Melissa coming towards her.

“Derek is good,” she smiled. “He should be discharged tonight if all goes well. Stiles is currently in surgery, so there’s nothing new yet.”

“How are you doing?” Talia asked, grasping Melissa’s hand.

“It’s rough,” she said, tearing up. “I just want to be there and help in any way I can but I can’t. I feel so helpless.”

“That is exactly how I felt,” Talia said. “As a parent all you want to do is protect your children from anything bad in the world, but the older they get the harder it is to do. Unfortunately we can’t do that.”

“Melissa,” Talia continued, “if there is anything that I know about Stiles it is that he is a fighter. No matter what happens, he will fight and come out on the other side. He _will_ be fine.”

Melissa appreciated everything that Talia was saying because it was coming from a mother who had been the situation before that Melissa currently found herself in.

Melissa wiped her tears away.

“Before Claudia died,” Melissa said, “she made me promise to take care of Stiles and John. I’ve loved Stiles like he was my own ever since then and it’s really hard when something like this happens, because your ability to take care of someone is no longer in your control.”

“Claudia would be happy with how things have turned out,” Talia added. “John has done an excellent job raising Stiles, and you’ve been a great support to them both. Right now, the important thing to have faith that everything will work itself out. I have no doubt in my mind that Stiles will be okay. He is one of the most lovable and strongest people that I know.”

“You are right,” Melissa smiled. “He is so strong and he will fight to make it out of surgery.”

Just then, the women were interrupted by the arrival of John, Scott and Allison who rushed over to them.

Melissa grasped a hold of her husband and son, pulling them into one big hug.

“How’s he doing?” John Stilinski asked.

“He is still in surgery,” she said. “As soon as he comes out then we’ll know something definitive.”

“And Derek?” Scott asked.

As if right on time, Derek came into the waiting area where everyone else was.

“I am here,” he stated.

Talia was initially startled by the sudden arrival of her son, but as soon as she saw him, she ran over and gave him a hug.

“Careful Mom,” he winced, “I’m still a little tender.”

“Sorry,” she smiled, her eyes filling with tears. “I am so happy that you made it out in one piece.”

“Me too,” he smiled.

Derek quickly then turned his attention to the Stilinski family looking on their reunion.

Derek was surprised when Stiles’ father came over and gave him a hug.

He thought that the man would have been angry with him, but he wasn’t. After his momentary confusion, Derek returned the hug, withstanding the slight jab of pain he felt as he did so. He and Stiles’ father had not had a lot of time to catch up with each other ever since his initial accident.

He had seen the man around on handful of occasions but they had been polite and the man had done nothing but treat him nicely.

“Thank you Derek,” John said. “Thank you for giving my son a fighting chance. I saw the crime scene and if you hadn’t protected him then he wouldn’t be alive at all so thank you.”

Derek nodded; not feeling particularly proud of himself but the fact that Stiles’ father, who he had immense respect for, had reacted in the way he did lifted his mood.

“I did the same thing that Stiles would’ve,” Derek answered.

As soon as he said it, he knew it to be true. Stiles would have protected him in the same way that he did, if not more so, because that was the type of person Stiles was. He protected his friends, and even those who weren’t.

“Anything new on his condition?”

They just shook their head.

Having been distracted Derek’s arrival, they spotted Dr Deaton making his way towards them.

“Melissa and John?” he started.

“How is he?”

“Stiles sustained a few internal injuries,” he started, “but we were able to repair all of the damage. He is currently in the Intensive Care Unit because the next few hours are critical for his recovery. We will monitor him but if he keeps on a steady recovery then he’ll be fine.”

“So are you saying that he will make a full recovery?” John says.

“If he keeps on recovering at a steady rate,” he said cautiously, “I see no reason why he shouldn’t make a full recovery.”

Derek had felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

He hadn’t known that he had been holding his breath until the doctor had finished speaking.

He was immensely relieved at the news of Stiles making a recovery. Stiles was clearly one heck of a fighter. Whenever things got tough, he didn’t give up or give in. He had managed to persist through everything that had happened with Derek even when he had no reason to.

The man had endured more than most.

“When can we see him?” John asked.

“Since he is in ICU,” Melissa said, “He will only be allowed one visitor at a time. Soon I’ll have to start work officially, so I’ll get to check up on him when I do my rounds.”

“Can I see him now?” John asked Dr Deaton.

“I don’t see why not.”

John Stilinski left with Dr Deaton to go see Stiles.

“Are you two going to be fine?” Melissa asked, indicating Scott and Allison.

“Yes Mom,” Scott replied. “I just want to see Stiles and then I’ll need to go because I have surgery early tomorrow morning.”

“We’ll probably be back tomorrow after the surgery,” Allison said.

Okay then,” she replied, kissing both of them of their foreheads. “I love you both.”

“I love you too Mom,” Scott replied.

They enveloped each other in a hug.

“I didn’t have anything to eat so I’m going to the cafeteria or vending machines,” Allison stated.

“I’ll come with you,” Scott replied.

After they left, it was just Talia, Melissa and Derek that were left standing around within the waiting room with a few other people.

“I hope that you are going home,” Melissa stated.

“I was actually going to stay at the hospital,” Derek answered.

“You need to go home and rest,” Melissa said. “They will keep him sedated until tomorrow so staying here is not going to help him or yourself because you won’t be able to see him, and you _need_ to rest your body.”

“Melissa is right,” Talia said. “You can stay with me for the night. I’m not letting you be alone.”

“I think that I need to go my home,” Derek replied. “I don’t think that I will be able to rest anywhere else.”

“You mean the apartment?” his mother clarified.

“Uh yes,” Derek replied. “I meant the apartment.”

Derek had felt momentarily odd.

The apartment had never really felt like home before so it was interesting to him that he had called the place home. It wasn’t hard to guess that after everything that had happened, he would consider the place to be home.

He had spent enough time there that considering everything that had happened he would naturally see that place like it had been a home to him. He had a lot of comforts there, and so it was easy to see why he had made the connection.

“Well then I’m staying with you tonight Derek,” his replied. “No further discussion.”

Derek was about to object but he realized that it would do nothing because his mother would ignore his objections.

“Okay then,” he sighed.

“Let’s go.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow to visit Stiles,” he said.

“I knew you would,” Melissa smiled. “See you then...but please get some rest Derek. I am not above admitting people for exhaustion and making sure that they sleep.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

* * *

 

Derek went ahead of his mother to the apartment while she parked the car in the building garage.

As soon as Derek closed the door behind him and he turned to face the apartment, he felt something different about it. It felt familiar...

He quickly brushed the fleeting sensation aside and strolled over to the coffee machine and switched it on.

Derek took a deep breath; his body too exhausted to be awake but his mind too hyped up for sleep.

It had been an extremely rough day. Things had taken a turn for the worst in the most unexpected way that.  Stiles was in hospital and there was nothing that he could do to help.

He slowly drifted through the apartment, wandering aimlessly as his mind was littered with thoughts. He found himself unexpectedly standing in front of all the pictures that Stiles had left up when he first came back to the apartment.

He grasped onto the one that had caught his eye the first time he had entered the apartment. The one he had an exact copy of in his office; the one where he was kissing Stiles on the cheek.

As he held onto the framed picture, he suddenly felt a brick sink into the pit of his stomach, which along with his headache caused him to experience vertigo.

 _Then_ he felt it hit him.

Like a car colliding with a wall, like he had been cliff-diving and he had just been submerged by the waters, like his entire world had finally made sense: suddenly it all came flooding back to him.

Their first kiss, their date, the wolf, the memories, the time Stiles asked him to move in, the first time they said I love you, the first time they had sex, the weddings, the serenading... the end of his relationship with Kate, the hurt and pain.

It all came rushing back to him with such force Derek buckled under the weight, crumbling the floor.

He felt like he was struggling to breathe, almost like he was having a panic attack...not _like_ he was because he was actually having a panic attack. With only the photo to hold onto he used it as his anchor, trying to focus on the significance the memory of it. He tried to not get lost in sudden sweep of memories and the only way he knew how to do that, was to anchor onto the memory of Stiles.

Derek didn’t know what it was but he began crying. He kept crying and crying and crying not knowing when it would stop.

Derek couldn’t move; he felt paralyzed.

  **He had remembered everything.**

He was in love with Stiles, and he didn’t just know it but he felt it - every smile, every touch, every kiss, every cuddle, every look and every “I love you” that had ever said. Every single memory had returned.

The good, the bad, the heartbreak and agony, it was _all_ back.

Derek had been lost in his own thoughts and everything that was happening inside him that he was surprised when he felt arms wrap around him and hold onto him.

Derek was still crying as his nostrils was filled with the aroma of roses. He recognized his mother without having to see her. Talia Hale had scooped her son into her arms and was cradling him. She made sure that she held onto her son as tight as she could so he could know that he was not alone.

“Derek?!”

“I remember,” he managed to croak. “I remember everything.”

“It’s okay,” Talia replied, rocking back and forth as she held onto her son.

“Stiles,” Derek choked.

“Shhh,” Talia whispered. “It’s okay. Take it easy. We’re just going to stay here for as long as you need okay. We don’t have to say anything or do anything, I’m just going to sit here and hold you. Okay?”

Derek didn’t respond. All he did was nod and breathe as his mother held him.

Time ticked by without a single word or sound to be heard except for Derek’s breathing and the sound of his tears hitting the ground that broke through the silence. It felt like everything else in the world had ceased to exist and for Derek that is exactly what had happened.

20:03

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Derek was breathing normally.

He felt like he was someone he remembered becoming; like the puzzle pieces of his life all fitted together.

He felt strong enough to sit up and when his mother realized what he was doing, she had relaxed her grip on him, but never fully letting go of her son.

Derek had long ago surpassed her in stature and build, but as she looked at him she saw someone who looked fragile and like he had just been put through hell.

As fragile as seemed, he still managed to move himself onto the couch.

Once she knew he was settled, she walked to the kitchen made him sugar water and quickly returned to give it to him.

“Drink this,” she said.

Derek took hold of the glass from his mother and gulped down the drink.

He immediately looked better once he finished drinking the sugar water, with his cheeks appearing more colour than they had a few minutes ago. He also looked less fragile.

“Thanks,” he replied.

“How do you feel?”

“Different,” he answered. “Like someone switched on the lights in a dark room.”

 “That makes sense,” she smiled.

Talia was a little in shock herself. She couldn’t believe that her son had just regained all his memories. It was what she had hoped would happen but after everything recently she had thought that possibility grew less and less likely.

She had begun making her peace with the fact that Derek would never regain his memories, and she would be okay with that because he would be okay but now that it had happened, she couldn’t believe it.

She couldn’t stop the tears as they started flowing.

“Mom? What’s wrong?” Derek asked, noticing that his mother was crying.

“Nothing,” she smiled. “My son just got his memories back. I can’t believe it...”

 The more she tried to stop the tears from flowing, the more they started coming.

Derek immediately hugged his mother; it was a hug that was filled with love and warmth.

They hugged for a few moments before she started pulling back, wiping away her tears.

“I am sorry,” she stated. “You’re the one who just got back his memories and here I am making it about me.”

“You aren’t Mom,” he replied. “You reaction to this is justified and you’re allowed to have your moment. You just spent 15 minutes with me on the floor, to spend a few moments with you as the realization of this sets in is the least I can do.”

He quickly leaned over and placed a kiss on his mother’s forehead.

“Even when I’m supposed to be looking after you,” she smiled. “You’re still taking care of me and showing concern for how I feel.”

“You’re my Mom,” he said. “I’ll always take care of you.”

“I will remember that the day you take me away to an old age home,” she quipped.

“Already building a case to emotionally blackmail me one day I see?” he laughed.

“It’s never too early to start.”

Derek couldn’t help but laugh, which in turn only made her laugh.

“It’s been a while since I heard that sound,” she said.

“It’s been a while since I’ve heard that sound too,” he replied.

“With everything that has happened, it’s understandable.”

“Yeah,” he stated.

Derek sat back into the couch, and as he did so he noticed something beside him. It was the framed photograph that he had been holding onto.

His anchor.

The longer he stared at it, the bigger his regret as the realization of the recent events sunk in.

Talia noticed her son grow sadder as he stared at the picture in his hands.

“Was that the memory that triggered it?”

He nodded.

“Michael and I were actually watching the wedding video today,” she said. “You both looked beautifully handsome.”

“How did I fuck everything up so badly Mom?”

“It’s not your fault Derek,” she started.

“Stiles is lying in hospital because of me,” he started. “The man who I love more than anything else is lying in the hospital because of my dumb mistakes... I feel like it’s my fault.”

“Derek, what happened to Stiles was out of your control,” she replied. “What happened to you was out of your control. You were doing the best you could to handle the difficult situation you had been both been put in.”

“I could have handled it better,” he argued. “I could have handled the Kate thing better and I should have been more respectful of Stiles’ feelings. He deserved better than how I treated him Mom.”

“There was no right way to handle anything Derek,” she retorted. “It’s easy to say what you could’ve and should’ve done better because retrospect is always 20/20 vision. Beating yourself up about something that you could not control is not fair on yourself. You’re only human.”

“It’s not fair that I made it out while Stiles is in ICU!” he bit back.

“You had no idea that you loved Stiles,” she reasoned, “or rather you had no recollection of the love that you had for Stiles. You can’t be in love with someone when you have no memory of ever loving them.”

“If I truly loved him,” he shouted, “then I would have accepted what he was saying and then found a way to make it work.”

“Derek you would’ve been forcing yourself to love someone,” she said, “and if there is anything life has taught me it is that you can’t force love. You would have not only ended up not hurting yourself but also hurting Stiles. You would have pushed each other further away.”

“But still!!” he exasperated.

“Listen to me Derek Hale,” she said. “If Stiles was here he would tell you to stop beating up yourself, and he would want you to know that you are not to blame you for what happened. Not everything bad that happens is your fault. Look at what happened today? A van randomly collided with your car and just like John had said, if you didn’t protect Stiles the way you did then he would have been dead.”

“I can’t promise that things will be perfect in the end,” she continued, “but I do know that you and Stiles will be okay once the dust settles. Stiles _will_ make a full recovery and you _will_ manage.”

Derek realized that his mother had a point but it didn’t stop him from feeling the way he did.

Stiles had been there for him through all rough times and had encouraged him to follow his dreams even when he had no clue what he was doing. Now that he had gained his memories back, he fully realized how aimlessly he had been living his life over the past few weeks.

He could see now how Stiles had filled his life with colour and how truly lucky he was to have someone in his life who had loved him as much as he did. Whenever things had been going rough, it was the fact that he Stiles loved him that often managed to put things in perspective.

Whenever he had been in a foul mood, Stiles would make him feel better and oftentimes he would do so without saying a word. Stiles would be there telling him that he loved him and then place a kiss to the man’s lips before giving Derek his space.

The man naturally embodied goodness.

“I think we need to get you back to the hospital,” Derek said. “I need to see him.”

“I agree,” Talia stated.

“You do?”

“It will also give Dr Deaton the chance to check you out,” she elaborated.

“I feel fine Mom,” Derek replied.

“Derek,” she replied. “You may be feeling fine, but we were on the floor doing nothing for 15 minutes when you got back your memory. That is huge deal, and we don’t know the extent of everything that has happened. Since we’re going to see Stiles, we can have the doctor check up on you too.”

“Okay,” he nodded, acknowledging her command. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter because this was a whopper. -sigh-
> 
> 1\. I have never experienced what it was like to have memories flood back and there isn’t too many examples online so I selected one that I felt authentic to the story and one that was emotionally taxing because Derek needed to experience it.  
> 2\. Derek got his memories back!  
> 3\. I tried to make Talia a very strong female character in this story because there are so little of them and throughout this fic I have been so worried on if I was achieving that or letting my deeply rooted patriarchy take over.   
> 4\. As I was writing this chapter there was something that Evangeline Lilly said at Comic-Con (thanks to Tumblr for bringing up on my dash) which struck me as amazing and had me thinking: She basically stated that writing strong female characters doesn’t mean writing them as men. I’m paraphrasing, so please correct me if I’m wrong, but she basically said that there is strength in female attributes such as compassion, tenderness and femininity. It is in acknowledging and celebrating these attributes and showing these attributes as being characterises of strength and not weakness which allows for strong female characters to get formed.  
> 5\. While I may be learning and discovering how to write female characters I do hope to one day be able to write strong female characters because there are too few of them that exist in stories.
> 
> Please review/comment/let me know your thoughts. I would love to hear from the women and maybe we can have a discussion growing. I feel like it’s a good time to bring up #HeforShe campaign that Emma Watson is shouldering and I think we need more campaigns like it. I feel like we need to progress on that front immensely where we can get to a stage in society where women can be seen as equal to men and have the power to do what they want without patriarchy telling them “No”.
> 
> Find me: Preparing for my final exams before I hopefully graduate with a triple major.
> 
> Title: The Reason - Hoobastank


	23. Fact of Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy.

“According to your lab results,” Dr Deaton explained, “you are fine. They show no abnormalities or any sign of brain damage.”

“So everything is fine?” Talia reiterated.

“One would expect for there to be some residual damage with a case like Derek’s,” Deaton replied, “but fortunately there is none. His reflexes are normal, and there is nothing out of the ordinary with his results and if anything I would say, barring your stitches and bruising of your ribs from the car crash, you are in good health.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” Talia smiled.

Derek was in equal disbelief over what Dr Deaton had said.

He found it hard to believe that after everything that had happened over the last couple of hours that he was “in good health”. Not even two hours ago was he lying curled up on the floor from the intense confusion of having his memories flood back.

He assumed that medically speaking it was possible that he was in good health, but he definitely knew that psychologically he was not _in good health_. He was feeling a multitude of emotions mixed with memories constantly popping up, bringing with them the nostalgia of a time that he had forgot about it.

Derek felt like he was going through the motions, lacking the ability to embody his personality.

 It had been difficult to stay present and not drift off, letting his mind wander down memory lane, but he realised that doing so would not accomplish much. His mind felt overwhelmed and if it had not been for the Monster energy drink that he had on the way to the hospital, he was sure that he would have been asleep.

Drinking the energy drink wasn’t actually the smartest of ideas but it had helped him commit to seeing Stiles.

 It had been rough couple of hours for Derek but he had managed.

“But how?” Derek asked, trying to remain engaged in what was being said.

“If I had to guess what had happened,” Deaton answered, “I would say that your car crash this morning had something to do with it.”

“What do you mean?” Talia pressed.

“Your chart here says you sustained a minor head injury and that you required stitches,” he explained. “So in my opinion, I think that your injury gave your brain a jolt, if we could call it that, and then when you saw something of value it triggered your memories to return.”

“So all I needed was to knock my head hard enough for my memories to come back?” Derek asked.

“Not exactly Derek,” Dr Deaton laughed. “Remember how I told you that the brain is complicated and that even the most skilled neurologists are sometimes stumped by the brain? Well this is one of those occasions where we can medically comprehend what happened, but explaining exactly how that happened will remain a mystery.”

“And from his first accident?” Talia asked. “I remember you stating that he had some swelling which had resulted in his initial memory loss? Could any of that come back?”

“Highly doubtful,” Deaton answered. “Derek has since then gone on to make a full recovery and his labs show nothing that indicates his first accident bearing any relevance or future implications. So it’s not a concern.”

“Thank goodness,” Talia sighed. “Thank you Dr Deaton.”

“I do think that,” Deaton continued, “it would be in Derek’s best interest if he stayed here for the night.”

“Why?” Derek asked suddenly tense.

“No no,” Deaton explained, “Sorry if my request gave you worry. It’s just that you’ve been through a rough couple of hours Derek and you clearly have not slept yet. I just want you to stay overnight and make sure you get the rest you need while having the comfort of being in a hospital so that if for some reason something requires my attention then I’ll be on hand.”

“How do you feel?” Talia asked her son.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “How do you feel?”

“I do think that it would help me breathe a little easier knowing that if something does happen then a doctor wouldn’t be too far away, and it’s only for a night...”

 “Okay then,” he nodded.

Derek wasn’t thrilled by the idea but he had to admit that he wasn’t exactly put off by the idea either. If anything it might even help him rest a little easy.

“Then it’s settled,” she replied, “looks like we’ll be staying the night Dr Deaton.”

“I’ll send a nurse to get you settled,” he nodded.

“Thank you.”

“Glad to be of service,” he smiled. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to be on my way.”

“How’s he doing?” Derek blurted out before he left.

“Pardon?”

“Stiles,” Derek asked. “How is he doing?”

Derek could see the momentary inner debate that Deaton had.

It was clear that the man was about to say the whole patient-confidentiality thing, but Derek was thankful when the man chose to answer him instead.

“Stiles is stable,” Deaton pursed. “We’re keeping a close eye on him and so far his recovery has been optimistic. We’ll continue to monitor him for the next couple of hours.”

“Can I see him?”

“I think that you first need to get some rest before you see Stiles,” Deaton replied.

“It will just be for a few minutes,” Derek asked.

“Sleep first,” Deaton sternly said.

Talia could sense that things were about to grow tenser if she didn’t step in.

“I’ll make sure that he will rest Dr Deaton.”

“Thank you,” he said. “And Derek, just a polite reminder, I’m not above having patients sedated if they are resistant to getting some rest.”

“Understood,” he nodded.

“I’ll come around in the morning to officially discharge you,” he said. “Sleep tight.”

Derek felt somewhat defeated but he knew that he would see Stiles tonight, regardless of what ever anyone else said.

 

* * *

 

Derek looked over at his mother, and made sure that she was asleep before he decided to get up from the hospital bed.

His mother had decided to sleep in the chair by his bedside, and had barely left his side for a minute ever since they had returned to the hospital. Derek didn’t mind because he understood that she was concerned with his wellbeing.

He checked his watch and it said 03:22, which meant that he had four hours worth of sleep since he fell asleep in his hospital bed. He had momentarily been worried about slipping into a coma but thankfully that didn’t happen.

When Derek got up from his bed, he had to admit that he had felt a lot better than he did earlier, and while he would have liked to sleep for longer, he had to see Stiles.

He quickly exited the bed, and escaped his room as quietly as possible.

Derek navigated his way through the hospital, avoiding nurses and any familiar faces as he made his way to the ICU ward. One of the perks for having been in the hospital for a while after his crash was that he now knew where everything in the hospital was, and in a time like this it was valuable time saving information.

It wasn’t long until he was in the ICU ward, searching for Stiles.

He slowly walked down the passage, keeping an eye out for anything that would lead him to Stiles.

Derek entered one of the rooms and was about to leave when he spotted John Stilinski asleep in a chair. His eyes then quickly drifted from the man in the chair to Stiles lying in the hospital bed.

When Derek spotted the man he loved, he couldn’t believe how Stiles looked.

Stiles had stitches on his right cheek with a few other cuts scrapes, and he had a cast on his right leg as he lay in the bed while being surrounded by a heart rate monitor and an IV bag.

Derek had not realised the extent of Stiles’ injuries and he felt his heart break with each growing moment as he stared at the man before him. Derek then realised how truly lucky he had been to escape with minor injuries compared to that of Stiles.

He felt like his legs had turned to cement that were weighing him down as he moved closer to Stiles.

While Stiles was covered with cuts and scrapes, Derek noticed that he also looked oddly peaceful as he was lying in the bed; but he assumed that that was mainly due to whatever they had sedated him with.

Derek felt himself overcome with emotion as he stood beside Stiles’ bed.

He gently grasped onto the man’s hand, holding it gingerly within his.

Derek couldn’t believe that he was holding Stiles’ hand. The feeling had alleviated a little of the tightness that he had felt in his chest, and all he wanted to do in that moment was never leave the man’s side.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” a voice interrupted.

Derek got such a fright he jumped back. He sighed once he realised who it had been that just gave him a fright.

“Sorry,” Melissa Stilinksi continued, “I didn’t mean to frighten you. It’s just that you shouldn’t be here...you should be in bed resting.”

“I had to see him for myself,” Derek replied.

“I shouldn’t be surprised to see you here,” she replied. “You’re just as stubborn as he is.”

“I can hear you,” John Stilinski groggily voiced.

“Aren’t you meant to be asleep,” Melissa asked staring at her husband, “and not eavesdropping on other people’s conversation?”

“What you going to do,” he smirked. “Call the police?”

“I’ll make my husband sleep on the couch for the next month if he isn’t careful,” she sassed.

The smirk from John’s face was quickly wiped away at his wife’s comment.

“...and besides _Sheriff_ ,” she continued, “I was referring to Stiles. Derek is just as stubborn as Stiles...”

“I actually somewhat surprised it took him so long,” John commented.

“Well everyone has not left me alone for a minute,” Derek answered, “so escaping was a lot harder than I anticipated.”

“It often is, just ask the criminals,” John joked.

Derek couldn’t help but feel his mouth form a small smile.

In the face of all the drama that had happened, they had somehow still found a way to smile; which sometimes was the exact thing that needed to be done.

The only thing that would have made the moment that much better was if Stiles was awake to smile with them and add some witty remark.

“Sorry I woke you up John,” Derek commented.

“It’s okay,” he replied. “My neck was actually starting to stiffen from the uncomfortable position I had found myself in.”

“You should be more careful,” Melissa added. “You know how grumpy you get whenever you strain something even in the slightest.”

“Never get old Derek,” John answered. “Everything aches.”

“I will remember that,” he smirked.

“I actually think that I need to stretch my legs while I’m up,” John said. “I’m sure you also wouldn’t mind having a private moment with Stiles.”

 Derek just nodded.

“I’ll be back to check on him in 5 minutes,” Melissa replied. “If you need me I’ll be outside at the nurses’ station.”

“Thanks,” he said.

They soon exited and left Derek alone with Stiles in the room.

Derek moved around to the other side of the bed, where he then pulled the chair closer to Stiles and sat down taking a hold of the man’s hand.

He sat there for a minute, doing nothing except for holding the hand of the man he loved.

“Stiles,” Derek began, “I don’t know if you can hear me or not but I’m going to say this anyway... _I love you_. When I lost my memory and I kept hurting you, you stayed by my side and put my well being above yours. I walked into our apartment tonight and everything that we had been through the past four years all came rushing back to me. I was scared and frightened but you were my anchor. Seeing your face on the photograph from the wedding opened the floodgates and while it was overwhelming, the only reason I’m not letting it get the better of me is because of you.”

“I have been trying to keep it together and, while it’s not been easy, I will do so far as long as you need because it’s my turn to make it up to you. You have had every single reason to walk away from me and I don’t blame you for wanting to go to New York when you found out about the Kate secret but please don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on _us_.”

Derek could nothing to stop the tears from spilling over and running down his cheek.

“I love you with every fibre of my being and realising all the pain I have put you through, makes my heart ache. I am sorry that you ended up here in the hospital because this was not how things were meant to be.  If had never gotten my memories back, and you would currently be on the other side of the country starting a life without me, I would have been happy knowing that you were safe.”

“I know that I could not have foreseen the van crashing into us, and that if you were here you’d say that it wasn’t my fault, but I can’t help but believe that I somehow played a part in this happening. I wish that I could help the way I feel, but can’t.”

“Stiles I promise that once you get better, I will make it up to you,” Derek pleaded “Please don’t leave me now...Now that I’ve finally made it back to you. _I need you_ to make it back to me. You were right; you still had faith that I would make it back even when I had no faith that I would ever get my memories back.”

“I hid my fear of being someone who had lost a few years of his memory with the excuse that you were holding me back, but you weren’t. You had helped me learn everything that I missed out and gone over memories that were even difficult for you to relive but you still endured, because you didn’t give up.”

“That fighting spirit is what you need to overcome this,” Derek said, tears freely falling down his face. “I will be here and I can promise that I won’t stop being here for whatever you need but please don’t give up fighting.”

Derek slowly moved from his seat, lightly stroking Stiles’ face before gently placing a kiss on Stiles’ lips.

It was a chaste kiss but one that sent a shiver running down his spine, and made him feel alive.

Derek suddenly felt like his heart jumped into his chest when Stiles’ machine started beeping. He stood up calling for help, which was already on its way, as suddenly the room was swarming with nurses.

Derek was pushed out of the way, as nurses were screaming over each other that, “He’s coding.”

Derek had watched enough medical dramas to know that was not a good thing.

He was forced into the passage feeling completely numb as Stiles fought for his life not even a few meters away from him. He tried to see what was happening but could see nothing.

As Derek waited outside, hoping that the man he loved survived, he couldn’t but wonder if he had been the cause of Stiles crashing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter. It was tense, and emotional.
> 
> 1\. That ending though...and kiss!!!  
> 2\. It’s the final countdown. As you can tell by the chapter index, we are approaching the end. It was hard for me to realise because I have loved writing this story and chatting with you guys but all good things come to an end. I don’t want to overstay my welcome so yeah.  
> 3\. I have a somewhat OCD thing about ending long form stories on a multiple of 10, so I will aim for Chapter 30 but if the story runs its course before then, then so it must be. I hope you will enjoy these last few chapters with me. If there is anything you want to happen or want to see then don’t be scared to let me know in the comments. Remember, it was your Laura-chatting-to-Derek suggestions that inspired me to write an earlier convo between them.
> 
> Find me: www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com or @thelionmutters on twitter where I tweet a whole lot of hot air.
> 
> Title: Fact of Life – Newton’s 2nd Law
> 
> Such a great track from the band. Also awesome band name – there is a cool story behind it relating to Newton’s 2nd Law but I digress. I think they are one of the only indie-rock bands in South Africa where the lead vocalist is a black man. The original lead singer had a voice on him though. Unfortunately something happened behind the scenes and now the band has a new lead singer, who also happens to be black. Not sure if that was accident or on purpose. They are about to realise a debut album so I hope their new stuff is good.


	24. No Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

When Stiles’ father asked Derek what had happened, all he could do was just stare at the man and say “I don’t know” as the tears started obscuring his vision. He couldn’t help but think that it was his fault that Stiles started crashing...that it was his proximity to the man that had caused him to almost die.

Derek realised that such a thought sounded irrational, but often in such situations there is no such thing as rationality, just seeing and feeling; and right now he felt like it was his fault.

“One minute Stiles was fine,” he eventually said, “but as soon as I...touched his hand, he started coding.”

 Derek felt guilty for not telling the man everything but he wasn’t in the mood to deal with everyone knowing that he had regained his memory. It would only take their focus away from Stiles, and right now Stiles’ health was the only thing that mattered.

Derek and John strolled aimlessly up and down the hospital hallway, waiting for someone to give them answers about Stiles’ condition. They couldn’t see anything from Stiles’ room window because the blinds had been drawn so they only had their own thoughts to figure out what was happening.

A few minutes had passed when Melissa Stilinski walked out of Stiles’ room with the rest of the staff, looking as haggard as what Derek and John felt. As soon as John Stilinski saw his wife, he went up to her hoping that she would give him the answers that he was looking for.

“He’s doing okay,” she answered, “ _for now_.”

“What happened?” John asked.

“It’s not clear but we’re running tests to find out what happened,” she answered.

“Can I go in and see him?”

“Yes,” she answered, “but only until my shift is over. The other nurses won’t allow you being in there.”

John Stilinski quickly went inside to see his son, leaving Derek and Melissa alone in the hallway.

“Is there anything I can do?” Derek enquired.

“Right now,” she replied, “I suggest you go home and sleep. Stiles will stay sedated for the rest of the night and there is nothing else that we can do now until we know the results of his tests. Derek, I understand how hard this must be for you because you feel like this is your fault, but I’m going to tell you the same thing I said earlier- this is **not** your fault. If you didn’t protect Stiles the way you did then he would have already been dead.”

“I promise that I will call you as soon as we know what exactly his condition is,” she continued. “Are you okay to drive back home? If not I don’t mind admitting you for the night then you can sleep in one of the rooms?”

“I am okay thanks,” he answered, not elaborating further.

They were interrupted when Melissa got called off to another patient’s room before he could say anything else to her. All Derek wanted to do was to wait outside Stiles’ room and make sure that the man he loved was going to be okay, but he realised that there was nothing he could do.

He reluctantly returned to his room, where he found his mother in the same position he had left her in.

For the rest of the night Derek found that for every twenty minutes he spent asleep, it would be followed by ten minutes of restless tossing and turning. He thought that given how tired he felt he would have been able to sleep for rest of the night but his concern for Stiles prohibited that from happening.

While the doctors and nurses were able to stabilise Stiles’ condition, he still feared that Stiles would start coding again.

He didn’t remember when but somewhere in the early hours of the morning, he finally managed to fall asleep and he only knew this because he felt his mother wake him up.

“Derek,” she answered. “It’s time to get up.”

“What?” he mumbled. “Is it Stiles?”

“Stiles is fine,” she answered automatically, “but it’s time to get up. Dr Deaton said he would be here in 10 minutes to discharge you. We need to get moving, Cora also needs to be on campus in two hours and she currently has Michael and Ella still with her. They still need someone to look after them until their parents get back.”

“Are Peter and Jennifer still on their anniversary getaway?” he groggily asked.

“Yes,” she replied.

“When do they get back?”

“Wednesday,” she answered, “but we can talk about this later.”

Just then Dr Deaton interrupted, politely knocking on the door before walking into the room.

“Nice to see you got some rest Derek,” he smiled. “How you feel?”

“Better,” he answered.

“That’s great,” the Dr answered.

“Ready to be discharged?”

“Gladly,” he replied.

The doctor quickly examined Derek before he signed off on the discharge papers.

“So we’re all set,” he said. “You’re free to go.”

“Thank you Dr Deaton,” Talia said. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for my son.”

“Well I’m glad that I could help,” he said. “I hope that from here on out everything goes well for you and your son.”

“Thanks,” she smiled.

“If you have no further questions,” he said, “then I’ll be on my way, please excuse me.”

“Dr Deaton,” Derek started, “is Stiles doing better after last night?”

“Stiles is stable,” he answered. “There was a minor complication last night but he is okay.”

“What do you mean by minor?” Talia asked.

“Stiles started coding last night,” Derek added before Deaton could respond.

“What? Is he doing okay? How do you know this?”

“I went to see Stiles last night,” he answered. “I was there when it happened.”

“How?” his mother exclaimed.

“I woke up in the middle of the night because I needed to make sure that he was okay but my presence only made things worse.”

“Do you know why he coded?” Talia asked, looking at Dr Deaton.

“Stiles’ health is deteriorating,” Dr Deaton explained. “It appears that the accident compromised his liver.”

“What do you mean ‘compromised his liver’?” Derek pressed.

 “Stiles suffers from a vascular liver disease,” the Dr tentatively answered, “which resulted in the clotting of the veins and arteries which takes blood to the liver and drain all toxins from it. Unfortunately it cause his heart some distress which lead to him going into cardiac arrest.”

 “At this stage Stiles’ best chance of survival is a transplant,” Deaton continued. “We have put him on the transplant list but that may take a while before Stiles gets close enough to the top of the list where he would be able to get a match.”

“A transplant?” Derek repeated in disbelief.

“Is there another way for him to get a new liver?” Talia enquired.

“An alternative route, and one that more often allows for patients survival, is to find a relative match. Everyone should be tested for a possible a match and then if one is found for Stiles’ blood type, we’d be able to perform the operation.”

“How urgently does he need one?”

“The sooner he gets a new liver,” Deaton said, “the better. It’s best to be proactive in such situations instead of reactive.”

“Will we be able to see him?” Derek asked.

“Stiles won’t be allowed any further visitors until he comes out of intensive care,” Deaton answered. “So I suggest you go home and get some rest until tomorrow.”

Derek nodded, not thrilled by the news but understanding the reality of the situation.

“Thank you for telling us all of that Dr Deaton,” Talia said. “We appreciate it immensely because we understand the professional risk you are taking.”

“I was once in a similar situation,” he volunteered. “My college girlfriend had to be hospitalised and I had no way of knowing what was going on at the time...It was torture not knowing how she was doing.”

“Did she recover?”

“She did,” he smiled, “and went on to become my wife until her unfortunate death from cancer three years ago. It’s one of the reasons why I moved to Beacon Hills...”

“I am sorry for your loss,” Talia pursed.

“Thank you,” he said. “It’s okay now.”

“I am glad to hear that,” she smiled.

Dr Deaton’s pager suddenly started beeping, “I really have to go, excuse me.”

Talia had a newfound respect for the Dr, as he had clearly been through a lot.

She recognised how fortunate they were to have had a doctor like him on Derek’s case, because it could have been another doctor who might have treated them with a lot less sympathy than Dr Deaton.

After Deaton felt, Talia realised that Derek had been extremely quiet ever since the Dr said that Stiles would not be allowed any visitors until tomorrow.  When she looked over at her son, she realised that he was absentminded, clearly thinking over something else.

She moved to sit beside him, bringing him out of his thoughts and into the present in the process.

“How are you doing?” his mother asked. “That is quite huge news to take in.”

“I am doing okay,” he answered. “I just hate that I can’t do anything.”

“I understand,” his mother smiled, taking a hold of his hand. “Derek, I can only imagine how you must be feeling with everything that has happened but everything will be okay. We will find a match for Stiles and then he will make a full recovery. We just got to keep faith that everything will work out the way it is meant to.”

She pressed a kiss to her son’s forehead, and wrapped her arms around him for a few minutes, embracing him in a hug.

“Do you want to be with me or must I take you home?”

“Would you mind taking me home?” he answered. “I think that I just need some time to myself.”

“Okay,” she nodded, “but I will be back later to check up on you.”

“Okay,” he smiled.

 

* * *

 

Derek had been asleep for a few hours in the only place he felt comfortable- their bedroom.

When his mother had dropped him off, he had lingered around the apartment and tidied up the place until he felt tired enough to sleep. Except when he laid on the bed in the other room, he felt uncomfortable and uneasy.

Eventually after being restless for a while, he decided to go to their bedroom.

The man had found himself feeling nervous as he entered the room, because it had been a long time since he had last stepped foot in it. Derek felt like he was being cuddle by Stiles’ scent that lingered throughout the room. 

He slowly stepped into the room, increasingly feeling at ease and like he belonged there.

After looking at everything, Derek couldn’t help but smile when he spotted the Polaroid of their first kiss by the mirror. He felt like he was transported back to another time as remembered the exact feelings he had in that moment.

He had been nervous but the shot of tequila he took helped steady his nervous before he started speaking with Stiles. Derek hadn’t been sure what he was going to do but all he knew in that moment was that he would kiss Stiles and let the man know how he felt.

He smirked when he remembered the butterflies in his stomach before the kiss and how Stiles had been so caught off guard that he just kept his lips still until Derek stopped. Derek’s smile on grew when he remembered Stiles asking “ _Why did you stop_?”before he then attacked the man’s lips.

Derek smile slowly grew sadder as he soon remembered everything that had happened over recent weeks and the fact that Stiles was in hospital. He then felt like a brick had sunk into his stomach, removing his moment of happiness.

He slowly returned the picture to where he found it, moved towards the bed and climbed into it.

He noticed how the Stiles’ scent lingered throughout the room but was most potent in the bed when he rested his head on the pillow. Without intending to, he inhaled deeply, feeling himself grow calmer.

Derek grabbed a hold of one of the pillows and wrapped his arms around it, where he quickly fell asleep not long after.

He had been asleep for a few hours when he was startled awake by his mother gently shaking him.

“Mom?” he croaked.

“You didn’t think I was going to leave you alone were you?” she smiled.

“I thought you going to be at home?” he answered slowly sitting up.

“I did but I came to check on you,” she replied.  “Cora convinced me that she and Isaac were managing with the kids. They are taking tomorrow and Wednesday off, spending time with the kids until Peter and Jennifer return on Wednesday. So that meant that I’m temporarily moving in...”

“You didn’t have to do that,” he started.

“Are we going to argue about this or can we fast forward to the part where I win this battle,” she said as she cocked her eyebrow. “I’m your mother and I want to be there for my son so suck it up.”

Derek guffawed at his mother, but he understood and appreciated her concern.

“How did you get in?”

“I took the spare key when we left last night,” she smiled, before continuing. “I had initially been a bit worried when I opened your room door and I didn’t see you in it, but I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised to find you asleep here.”

“I felt restless in the other bed and so I thought I would feel more comfortable in our room,” he answered, rubbing his eyes.

His mother smiled.

“Why are you smiling?”

“You called it “our _”_ room,” she replied. “I think that was the first time in a long time I’ve heard you say that instead of Stiles’ room.”

“It felt right,” he answered. “I have always just known it as _our_ room.”

“You looked so peaceful here that I couldn’t resist taking a picture,” she said, showing him her phone. “You look like a baby bear.”

“Please don’t say that ever again,” he chuckled. “And promise me you won’t share it with Cora or Laura cause then I’d never hear the end of it.”

 Talia Hale smirked at her son, not reply before changing the topic of conversation, “but anyhow I am hungry and I assume you are too so I’m going to make us something to eat okay?”

“Mom, promise me,” Derek pressed, not yet willing to let her go.

“Derek,” she sighed, rolling his eyes. “Go take a shower and freshen up then join my inside okay...”

Talia quickly left the room, giving Derek sometime to himself before he got up from the bed.

He quickly took a shower, his body still tender but feeling rejuvenated after it. He quickly opened the closet in the room but then he remembered that his clothes were in the other room.

He went to his room and quickly got changed, where afterwards he walked into the kitchen to help his mother.

“Mmm...” he said, “Smells great.”

“I’m making spaghetti,” she smiled. “Would you mind cutting the tomatoes and green pepper for me while I strain the spaghetti?”

“Sure thing,” he answered.

His mother had just rinsed the spaghetti when he had temporary been distracted and in his distraction he had accidently cut himself.

“Are you okay?” she asked, after he yelped.

“Yes,” he answered. “I just cut myself. I think we have a first aid kit inside, so I’ll just go get myself a band aid.”

“Okay then,” she said.

Derek quickly left his mother and went into _their_ bedroom, where he went to the closet to retrieve the first aid kit. He reached on the top shelf and removed the kit.

He sat down on the bed and quickly cleaned the wound before placing a band aid on it. When he was done, he closed the kit and returned it to the shelf he found it on.

As he did so, he noticed that there was something out of place.

He quickly retrieved the item and he was surprised by what he held in his hand.

Derek slowly moved towards the bed, needing to sit down.

Talia realised that Derek had been awfully quiet for some time and decided that she would go check up on her son.

“Derek?” she asked, spotting him sitting on the bed.

 “I found-” he started, unable to continue.

Instead Derek just opened his hand, allowing his mother to see the opened black box with white gold wedding band in it.

“Is that the engagement ring Stiles bought?” his mother asked. “Where did you find it?”

Derek was more surprised by his mother’s shock of him having found the box, instead of her being shocked that there was a little black box to start with. It was almost as if she knew about it.

“You don’t seem surprised,” Derek stated.

“Are you asking if I knew that Stiles was going to propose,” Talia stated, “then yes I do.”

“How?”

“The night of your car crash,” Talia answered. “You were running late and he had everything planned for your special night but unfortunately you got into a car crash and then your recovery and well being took precedence.”

“Were you ever going to tell me that Stiles was going to propose?”

“We wanted to but it never seemed like it was going to ever be a right time to tell you,” she said. “After everything that had happened I came to Stiles the night after and he said that we would wait on telling you until the right time but eventually there was no right time.”

“How long has he had it?”

“I don’t know,” she said.

Derek couldn’t help but let the tears roll down his cheek.

 “Mom,” Derek eventually started, “I don’t deserve him...”

“Don’t say that,” she said, wiping the tears from his cheek.

“Stiles deserves better than me,” he said. “I d _eserve_ someone like Kate.”

“You are only saying that because of recent events,” she said. “You and Stiles are perfect for each other.”

“I’m not,” he said. “I have always thought Stiles deserved better, but I couldn’t believe how fucking lucky I was that he chose me all those years ago. I couldn’t believe that he had chosen _me_ , and every day with him was blessing to me. I couldn’t believe my luck that I landed someone as spectacular and amazing as him. It was why I was going to propose that upcoming weekend of my accident.”

“What do you mean?”

“Stiles wasn’t the only one with an engagement ring,” he said.

Derek stood up from the bed and went into the closet where he searched for a particular shoe box.

Once he retrieved what he was looking for he returned to the bed with a red box in hand.

“Red?” his mother asked.

“It’s his favourite colour,” he answered. “I had even bought a red bowtie for him as a gift.”

His mother took a hold of the small red box, and opened to reveal a platinum wedding band inside.

“You both have similar tastes,” she commented. “I’m sure that Stiles would have loved it.”

“I can’t believe that he was going to propose that night,” he said. “I would have left work sooner if I had known.”

“Well unfortunately we can’t go back in time,” his mother pursed, returning the box. “We can only deal with the present.”

“Yeah,” he sighed.

After what happened with Kate, he wanted to be sure that the next time he got married it was permanent, and that only death would separate them. He had wanted to wait a while so that he would have no doubt in his mind before proposing to Stiles, especially after the disaster with Kate.

After four magical years with Stiles, he had realised that Stiles was the one and he had wanted to propose. Derek just hated that he had stupidly realised too late.

He was even going to have them relive their first date, and end the night with a picnic before he would surprise Stiles with the proposal but unfortunately his car crash had derailed all of that.

Derek was so frustrated at everything that had happened, because if everything had gone how it was supposed to then he would have been happily engaged planning the rest of their lives together.

“At least you get to see him tomorrow,” his mother said.

“Yes,” he said, before getting distracted by the odour of something burning. “Do you smell that?”

“Oh my! The Spaghetti!!!” his mother exclaimed, quickly exiting in hopes of rescuing their dinner while he remained in the room.

Then Derek suddenly had an epiphany.

He quickly pulled out his phone, found the hospital number and pressed call. His mother didn’t realise it but she had actually given him an idea. One he hoped would pay off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed.  
> 1\. Didn’t see that little surprise coming did you?  
> 2\. I know the chapter ended vaguely but it was intentional.  
> 3\. Language is weird. I was going to type plaster but then I realised in America they don’t use plaster and used band aid instead. Or that is what is reported.  
> 4\. I hope you’ve been enjoying the story. 
> 
> Find me: Listening and Loving Taylor Swift's 1989. 
> 
> Title: No Air – Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown.


	25. How to Save a Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All errors are my own. Sorry for them.

“Hi,” Derek said, knocking on Stiles’ hospital door, “hope I’m not interrupting?”

“Hi Derek,” John Stilinski greeted. “No you aren’t, come inside...”

“Thanks,” he said. “How is it going?”

“Okay I guess,” the man answered. “Stiles still hasn’t woken up and I assume you know about his condition?”

“Yes,” Derek replied. “He is suffering from a vascular liver disease if I’m not mistaken?”

“Well they call it that but it’s technically a disorder,” he said. “I had Melissa explain it to me after Dr Deaton told us.”

“The car crash resulted in his blood clotting around his liver preventing it from doing its job,” Derek replied. “I did some Googling to find out exactly what happened.”

“I started doing some myself,” John said, “but Melissa quickly cut me off saying that I would only get myself worked up.”

“Understandable,” Derek stated.

Derek knew exactly why Melissa had done that because when he had been looking up things, he also started fearing the worst because article after article stated how fatal things could turn out if they didn’t act fast enough.

He had stopped reading about Stiles’ condition not long after he realised that doing so was hurting him more than helping.

“Now,” John continued, “we’re just waiting for feedback on the tests Dr Deaton is running. Once we get those back then we’ll know where we stand.”

Derek quickly stole a glance at Stiles lying in his hospital bed.

He noticed that Stiles had more colour in him than the other night when Derek checked on him, and as peaceful as he looked, Derek couldn’t help but find the scene before him disturbing.

“It’s odd hey?” John said, having noticed how Derek was looking at Stiles.

“Pardon?”

“Seeing him so still,” John elaborated, “it’s difficult to see him not moving... As a kid he was never still, a large part of which had to do with his ADHD, but he was always so full of life. He used to lie in bed and would sometimes mumble incoherently...”

“Even in bed he still does it,” Derek smiled, reliving the times they cuddled in bed.

Stiles had always been full of personality, even when sleeping he would scrunch up his face and he the sound of his breathing was even very Stiles-esque, so Derek understood what John had meant when he said that see Stiles still was unnerving.

If Derek was being honest with himself, it was scarier than he wanted to admit.

He wanted the love of his life back who mumbled in his sleep, scrunched up his face and who slept comfortably within his arms.

They were still staring at the young man when they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“May I come in?”

“Certainly Doc,” John said.

“Thanks,” Dr Deaton said, before acknowledging Derek. “Morning Derek.”

“Morning Dr Deaton,” Derek nodded.

“We got the lab results back,” Dr Deaton started, “and I am sorry John but unfortunately you are not a match for Stiles... Neither are Melissa and Scott.”

John Stilinski felt his heart sunk as he was told the news that he didn’t have the correct blood type needed to save his son; and given what Melissa had told him, he would have been the most suitable candidate for Stiles.

“But am I not meant to have the same blood type as my son?”

“You do,” Dr Deaton explained, “but yours is O **+** Stiles is O **-** and only in extreme emergency cases do we substitute O **-** for O **+** ,but in Stiles’ case to do so would be more detrimental than helpful. In such cases we look for ideal matches, as it reduces the chances of organ rejection, and since Stiles is O **-** he is prohibited from receiving blood from any other blood group.”

“So his best option is the transplant list?”

“Typically that would be the case,” Dr Deaton tentatively answered while glancing at Derek, “but we have another avenue to try.”

“What do you mean?” John pressed.

“I think Dr Deaton means that I am a match,” Derek explained. “I can give Stiles a piece of my liver because I am an ideal match.”

“Is this true?”

“It is,” Deaton nodded. “Derek contacted the hospital last night and spoke to me; he said that he wanted to be tested as well. We looked at his chart and realised that he is a match with Stiles.”

“What?” John stammered. “What does this mean? Are they related?”

“Goodness no,” Deaton chuckled before he explained. “Typically 1 in 15 people have the O **-** blood type, and fortunately Derek turned out to be a match for Stiles.” 

Derek couldn’t believe the chances that he and Stiles would have the same blood type. It was pure serendipity that he had the blood type needed to help save Stiles’ life, but more than it being a happy coincedence, he felt like it was meant to be.

Maybe, in this way, he would be able to make up for all the bad that he unintentionally caused Stiles.

“We could run additional tests if you wanted,” Dr Deaton added, “but they will confirm what we already know...”

“How soon can we do the operation?” John asked.

“As soon as possible and convenient for Derek,” Deaton explained.

“I’m ready to do it today,” Derek eagerly said.

“I appreciate the enthusiasm,” Deaton answered, “but we will have to go over the details of the operation because it is major surgery and there are life threatening factors involved.”

“Also what about your company Derek?” John asked.

“They will be able to be okay without me,” Derek replied. “Erica has been running things over the past two days and Peter will be back tomorrow.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” John pressed.

“Stiles helped me through a lot and been there for me during a time when I was at my lowest,” Derek replied. “This will allow me to make it up to him.”

“Okay then,” John nodded.

“I’ll go get started on the paperwork,” Deaton said, “and I suggest you get everything sorted out in the mean time Derek. You’re gonna be here a while.”

“Thanks Dr Deaton,” Derek nodded, as the man left.

Derek and John Stilinski then returned their attention the man lying very still in the hospital bed.

“I really appreciate you doing this for my son Derek,” John replied.

“Stiles would have done this and given a kidney too if I needed it,” Derek answered.

“Derek,” John replied after a few minutes, “I recognise the risk you are taking for my son and I commend that. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but before I accept your offer to give a piece of your liver to my son, I want to make sure you are doing this for the right reasons.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t _have_ to do this,” John stated. “I don’t want you to feel like you are compelled to do this because of what Stiles would do if he was in your shoes. Stiles has always been a very loyal and giving person. He would go to extreme length to protect those he loves. It’s just who he is.”

“I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this,” John continued. “If you do this, it is because _you want_ to do this not because you feel like it’s something that you _ought_ to do.”

Derek had been caught off guard by the man’s remark.

He had no doubt in his mind that he was doing this because he wanted to. Stiles was the man that he loved wholeheartedly, and he would do anything to save the life of Stiles.

Stiles was the first person he saw when he got up in the mornings, he was the first person Derek wanted to tell when something significant happened at work, he was the only person who could make him smile when he was in a crap mood. Stiles had taken all of the dark parts within him and made them lighter.

Having not had Stiles on hand for any of that recently had made Derek realised how empty his life would be without the man. Without his memories he was willing to let the best thing that had ever slip away from him, and it would have been the dumbest thing he would have ever done.

But Derek did understand that from John’s perspective, looking at someone like Derek who he thought did not have his memories, it may appear that way like he was doing this act because he felt like it was “the right thing” to do and not because it was what he wanted. However, Derek knew better.

Stiles had always been there for him, and Derek wanted to be there for him now.  He would do anything for the person he loved.

 “I understand your concern,” Derek eventually said, “and I want to say thank you that you even are considering my wellbeing when Stiles needs you more. But I promise you Sheriff Stilinski that I am doing this because I _want_ to do this...Stiles is a remarkable person and I want to do anything I can to help.”

“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that,” John Stilinski sighed.

Derek nodded.

“I truly appreciate it Derek,” John replied, tears forming in his eyes. “ On behalf of me, my son and my whole family- Thank You.”

 

* * *

 

“Yes Erica,” Derek sighed, forced to stop packing his bag. “I do understand that this is the worst timing possible given that we have the Jockey campaign in development but you do understand that Stiles might die right?”

“Listen Derek,” she sighed. “I don’t mean to sound insensitive but you were finally getting back into the groove of how things used to be. I worry that you being out of commission for a month will only stunt your progress that you’ve made so far. I am just worried about the company.”

“Thanks for the concern,” he said, “but Peter gets back to work tomorrow and then he’ll be able to take over the Jockey campaign for me; or we could have Kira running lead on this?”

“Kira? Awkward Kira? Coming up with a campaign about a predominantly male underwear brand?” Erica laughed. “At least be serious about this...”

“She might surprise you,” Derek countered.

“Are you sure the car crash didn’t impact your brain function too?”

“Not this time around,” he smirked.

Erica was about to reply when they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“I just heard the news,” Peter Hale said, blazing into the apartment.

“Which part?” Erica asked. “The part where he was in an accident and Stiles is in the hospital? Or the part where he will be having an operation giving Stiles half of his liver so that he can survive thereby putting him out of commission for a month?”

“You’re doing what?”

“My sentiment exactly,” Erica said, as her phone started ringing. “This is Jockey calling, probably wanting to find out how things are going for the new campaign.”

Erica stepped to one side of the room, allowing Derek to talk to his uncle.

“Hello Peter,” Derek said. “Welcome back. How was the trip?”

“It was great thanks,” he answered. “The cell reception was non-existent which is why I only found out about everything that happened this morning so sorry for only getting in contact now.”

“It’s understandable,” he said. “How is Jennifer doing?”

“She is doing great,” Peter said, “thanks for asking but can we talk about the matter at hand? Is everything that Erica said true?”

“Yes,” he answered, “but there a legitimate reason for me doing this.”

“Well what is it?” Peter asked.

Derek was about to answer when Erica ended her phone call, and turned her attention towards them.

“I have to go back to **your** company that I have been running the past few days,” Erica sighed. “They need me on hand. Will you please speak some sense into your nephew Peter?”

“I’ll try,” Peter replied. “I can pop in later if you need me to?”

“I’ll call if it is a fire that you need to put out,” she said. “For now, we’ll be fine. Enjoy your last day off because with him being out of action for the next month, I assume we’ll be extremely busy for a while.”

Erica quickly turned to go, closing the door behind her and leaving Peter and Derek to themselves.

“I understand why you are doing this,” Peter said. “You feel like you owe Stiles after everything that he did for you.”

“No,” he said.

“No?” Peter questioned. “Then why?”

“Peter,” Derek started, “ _I remember_.”

“You remember what?”

“Everything,” he said. “I remember that I am in love with Stiles, I remember the time you told me about your manscaping incident, I remember being there in the hospital and holding Michael in my arms when he was born.... I remember everything.”

As Derek spoke he noticed the look of realisation set in for Peter.

“Holy shit,” Peter said, stunned by the news his nephew was telling him. “How did _that_ happen?”

“It’s a long story, but in summation I knocked my head,” Derek replied, pointing to the bandage with the stitches underneath it on his forehead, “and it did something cause when I got home and looked at the photo of Stiles and myself from your wedding it brought all the memories back.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay now,” Derek said. “When it happened it was rough but Stiles needs me so I am managing.”

Peter was totally caught off guard by the news that Derek had told him.

It was the last thing he had been expecting to hear from the man, he had been trying his best to get through all the messages this morning that Talia had left on his phone. He had thought that Derek and Stiles being in an accident would have been the biggest news that he would have heard that day but he had been wrong.

Peter noticed as he paid closer attention to the man before him. The way he carried himself was more self-assured and less uncertain, and his speech pattern was more familiar, and there was a look in his eyes that made him seem like he wasn’t so lost.

These were all slight nuances that weren’t immediately noticeable but if you paid close enough attention you could spot them.

“...but please promise me that you won’t tell anyone,” Derek continued. “Mom is the only other person to know, and I don’t want everyone to be concerned about me right now. Stiles is my only priority right now.”

“I understand completely,” Peter said, “but you are going to have to tell them eventually...”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it,” Derek answered.

“Why did you tell me though?”

“Because I wanted you to understand my reasoning for doing this,” he said. “I want you to know that if anything happens to me in surgery then the company is yours. I left Stiles and Mom some shares in the company but you will be majority shareholder of the company.”

“Derek, are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” he said, “I trust you Peter.  You are one of the closest people I have in my life.”

“I trust you too,” Peter answered. “Thank you for telling me.”

Derek nodded.

“How’s Stiles doing?” Peter asked.

“He is hanging in there,” Derek answered. “Stiles is a fighter so he’s managing but the quicker he gets a new liver the better.”

“How did this happen?”

Derek explained everything that had happened to his uncle, and by he finished the concern was apparent on Peter’s face.

“After everything thing that has happened,” Peter finally said, “I am impressed by how you are keeping it all together. It’s been a rough few days for you.”

“Thanks,” he said, “but I am doing okay. The person I love needs me so I can’t let him down.”

“When the surgery goes well,” Peter said, “and it will, then are you going to tell Stiles about you getting your memory back?”

“I plan to,” Derek said. “I wanted Stiles to be the first person I told but he hasn’t been awake yet. Hopefully when the surgery goes well and he wakes up, then as soon as I find the right time, I will tell him.”

“I am sure things are going to go well...” Peter said.

“Can I just say that it’s somewhat weird seeing you be so optimistic,” Derek commented.

“What?”

“Seeing you be so optimistic and concerned,” Derek said. “Are you even Peter Hale or did Jennifer swap you out with someone else on your getaway?”

“Well don’t get used to it,” Peter sassed, “It’s just my time with my wife lifted my spirits.”

“Clearly you need to go away more often,” Derek smirked.

“Funny,” he deadpanned.

Derek laughed, “Did Mom by any chance mention what time she would be here?”

“She said that she would be here in two hours time,” Peter said, looking at his watch, “or before then to check in on you before she took you to the hospital.”

“Well I better finish packing then,” Derek said.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Peter laughed. “I’ll come around to check on you at the hospital tomorrow evening okay?”

“Bye Peter,” Derek said.

“Bye Derek.”

 

* * *

 

“Do you have everything you need?”

“Yes Mom,” Derek sighed. “I packed everything before I left; you even looked in my bag when you thought I wasn’t looking. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Derek, I’m your mother,” she said. “Of course I’m going to worry about you.”

“Well then, you don’t have to worry so much,” he replied, giving his mother a hug. “It will be okay.”

Derek wasn’t sure if he was saying all of that for his mother’s benefit, his or both. He just knew that saying it helped quell a few of his anxieties that he was having.

They hugged each other for a few minutes before they were interrupted by the arrival of Dr Deaton.

“I see you are planning on making the hospital your permanent place of residence,” Deaton joked.

“It definitely appears that way,” Talia laughed.

“You have been settling in okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” Derek replied. “Thank you Dr Deaton.”

“Good,” he answered. “So I brought the paperwork you need to sign for the operation tomorrow, and brief you on the operation itself. Do you need a little more time before I start?”

“I am ready,” Derek said. “Mom?”

“I’m ready,” she replied, taking a deep breath.

“Great,” Deaton replied. “I will start by making a descending diagonal incision just beneath the right side of your ribcage...”

As Derek listened intently to Dr Deaton explain the surgery to them, he felt himself grow more relaxed and hopeful that everything would turned out okay.

The Doctor explained that since he was on Derek’s case first, he would be unable to perform Stiles’ surgery as they were happening simultaneously, but Stiles was in good hands as Dr Deaton specifically brought on another physician who he trusted onto the case.

“Sorry, but who’s that?” Derek asked.

“No it’s okay,” Deaton stated. “The physician operating on Stiles will be my sister.”

“Your sister?” Talia said.

“Yes,” he replied. “She specialises in General Surgery like myself, but she is at a hospital in Seattle. She is already on her way to Beacon Hills to perform Stiles’ surgery.”

“I hope this doesn’t sound rude,” Derek said, “but is she as skilled as you.”

“I understand your concern for Mr Stilinski,” Deaton answered, “but I promise that he will be in capable hands. I trust Dr Morrell with my life. She is more skilled than I am, so I have no doubt that Stiles will be perfectly okay.” 

“Derek,” his mother said, “Are you asking this question because she’s female or because of your concern for Stiles?”

“If Dr Morrell was male,” he explained, “I still would have asked the same question mom. I just want Stiles to be in the best hands.”

“Okay,” she replied. “I just wanted to understand where the question came from.”

“Now that I know that Stiles will be in perfect hands,” he said. “I can rest easier... no offense Dr Deaton.”

“None taken,” Deaton said. “I also gave Stiles’ father my word that I would check in on Stiles as soon as finished your surgery to update them.”

“How long will the time difference be between the liver being removed from Derek and being placed into Stiles?” Talia enquired.

“Stiles and Derek will be in adjoining operating rooms,” he said. “It will be under a few minutes as Stiles will have already been on the operating table by then.”

“Okay,” Talia nodded. “Is that everything that will happen?”

“Pretty much,” Deaton answered.

“Thank you so much for explaining everything Dr Deaton,” Talia said.

He nodded, “I have to be on my way, but a nurse will check on you in a few minutes and then you can hand over the signed documents to her.”

They quickly bid the doctor farewell leaving them alone in the room.

“It’s a lot to take in isn’t it,” his mother voiced, after a few minutes.

“It is,” Derek nodded, “but I just want Stiles to be okay.”

“I know we haven’t spoken about this,” his mother started, “but how have you been dealing with all of the feelings? One minute you weren’t in love with Stiles and the next you remembered every single thing to make you fall in love with the man.”

He had been thrown off guard by his mother’s comment, because he hadn’t thought about it in that way.

“Uhm,” he started, “With my memories back, it doesn’t feel like there was ever a time I didn’t love him. Even the time that I had lost my memories, as I think back on them now, I only see how beautiful he was during that time. I realised that I did love him, not in the way I do now, but the love was there because Stiles has always been a friend to me.”

“It’s like the memories were in black and white,” he explained, “but now that I’ve seen them in colour I can’t look at them in any other way.”

“You’ve always liked your metaphors,” his mother smirked.

“I got it from Stiles,” he grinned. “He often uses metaphors to describe things and it just makes me smile because his mind so imaginative and he thinks in a way that I find polarising. He adds colour to my life.”

“I love this,” Talia said, kissing her son on his forehead.

“What?”

“Hearing you sound like your usual self,” she said. “Stiles found a way that made you open up way more that what you ever would’ve. He takes all the best qualities you have, that you only show him, and somehow allow you to let other people see those qualities.”

“So you’re saying he’s like my translator?” Derek smiled.

“Kind of,” Talia laughed. “But I do understand things better now so thank you for telling me.”

They were interrupted when a male nurse came into the room.

“Ready to get settled?” the nurse asked.

“Yes,” Derek replied.

“I need to get home because I have to organise to list for Greenberg kid who is looking after the store for me,” his mother said.

“I’ll be in tomorrow okay?”

“I’m okay,” he said. “Would you mind asking Isaac to pop in at the apartment as often as he can?”

“Will do,” she said, kissing him on his head. “I love you.”

“I love you too Mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that.   
> 1\. I feel like I earned an honorary mini-medical degree doing the amount of research I did for this chapter. I used a lot of Google, and the Grey’s Anatomy episode 604 where Meredith’s father needs a liver transplant.  
> 2\. Erica! I felt like it was right time to introduce her. She was mentioned in an earlier chapter but it wasn’t right to introduce her till now.  
> 3\. I realised that I tell, or hint at you guys, a lot of what is going to happen before it happens. While it does remove a bit of the mystery from what’s coming next, I do try to keep it still exciting and fresh so I hope you don’t mind me doing that.   
> 4\. I love how Derek is handling all of this. It's isn't perfect but he is doing his best.
> 
> Find Me: Studying for my Film Studies and Gender Studies exams this week.
> 
> Title: How to Save a Life – The Fray  
> This song is a classic! I was going to the previous chapter but glad I used it for this one instead. There are some relevant feelings within the song that just felt so applicable. I also chose it for the obvious reason that everyone is trying to figure out how to save Stiles’ life.


	26. Make You Feel My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! So I managed to finish the chapter a day earlier than expected. Yay! Enjoy.  
> \- Btw, things won’t make sense in the middle but it will at the end.  
> \- Apologies for any and all errors.

“Starting to feel nervous yet?” Cora asked.

“Slightly,” Derek answered. “I would be lying if I said that life threatening surgery wasn’t scary. Wouldn’t mind just getting it over with already.”

“I feel the same way,” his mother commented.

“Oh don’t be such a big baby Derek,” Laura commented. “You try giving birth; then you’ll understand life threatening surgery.”

“Tell me about it,” Peter added. “The amount of times Jennifer threatened me while she was in labour was frightening.”

“I doubt that’s what Laura meant,” Cora commented.

“It’s okay,” Laura said. “I’ll show _Uncle_ Peter life threatening if he insists on being facetious.”

“Oh you know you love it,” he smirked.

“I’d love to smack you,” Laura mumbled only loud enough for Derek and Cora to hear.

“What was that?” Peter asked.

“Nothing,” Laura smiled.

“Of course it was,” Peter smiled pretentiously.

“If you two don’t stop,” Talia scolded, “I will throw you both out of this room.”

“It’s okay Mom,” Derek said. “It’s a great distraction actually.”

“Derek is going to be perfectly fine Talia,” Peter said. “You’re stressing the young man out with your constant worrying...”

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this,” Laura commented, “but I actually agree with Peter.  You’re stressing a lot.”

“I just don’t like it when my kids have to be the hospital.”

“Given what’s happened over the years with Dad, me, Laura and now Derek,” Cora added, “it is understandable Mom, but it will be okay. Just don’t worry too much.”

“Or you might grey sooner than you expected,” Laura smirked. “I think I see few sprouting already...”

“I think I see them too,” Derek playfully teased.

“Leave my grey hairs alone,” Talia replied. “If I were you I’d worry about my own Laura.”

“Where?” Laura replied, taking out a mirror from her handbag in warp speed.

Everyone couldn’t help but burst into laughter at Laura examining her head.

Derek could help but feel content with his family around him.  He was glad that they had made time to see him before his surgery that evening. It had been a needed distraction laughing, joking and spending time with his family.

Although Derek was spending time with his family, he couldn’t help but worry about Stiles.

He really hoped that the surgery would go well and that he would finally be able to speak to Stiles, and tell him about everything that had happened. He knew that it would not be easy, but at least then Stiles would _finally_ know that he had not endured all their recent hardships for nothing.

“I always love the sound of laughter in a hospital,” a lady announced as she entered into the room, bringing Derek out of his thoughts. “It always uplifts the mood.”

“Agreed,” Dr Deaton said, standing beside her. “I am truly sorry that I’m going to have to be the one to break up the party.”

“Is it time already?” Talia asked.

“It is,” he replied.

“We just came from Mr Stilinski’s room,” the woman added, “and they have started to prepare him for surgery.”

“Are you Dr Morrell?” Derek inquired.

“Yes I am; apologies for the lack of introduction,” she replied. “You must be Derek Hale. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

“You feeling nervous?” she asked.

“Slightly,” he answered.

“Well, you will be fine,” she smiled. “I have looked at both files and I have every belief that the surgeries will go well.”

“Before we start the surgery,” Dr Deaton voiced, “we wanted to ask if there were any lingering questions that you still had?”

“For how long exactly will Derek be in hospital?” Peter asked. “He mentioned something about a month and stuff online said something different.”

“Typically,” Dr Deaton replied. “Recovery will take 7-10 days... If there are complications or any other issues that we need to monitor then we will keep him here if longer.”

“That’s a relief,” Peter said. “So he won’t be away from work too long?”

“While Derek’s recovery may be a couple of weeks, we still recommend that he do nothing too physically strenuous or exhausting after such a massive surgery. Derek should take as much time needed before getting back to work,” Dr Morrell warned.

Peter realised in that moment that he had not asked the correct question, as everyone was side-eyeing him.

“How long will his surgery be?”Cora inquired. “I want to be here for him when he wakes up.”

“Approximately 6 – 8 hours,” Dr Deaton replied.

“...but by the time Derek comes out of surgery he will need his rest,” Dr Morrell replied. “So we’ll have to limit his visitors to two. The rest can see him tomorrow once he has had more time to rest.”

“Okay,” Cora replied.

“Any other questions?” Dr Deaton asked.

No one answered.

“Okay then,” Dr Morrell answered, “If you’ll excuse us, we have to go get ready.”

 “Dr Morrell,” Derek voiced, “please ensure Stiles comes out of this in one piece.”

“Will do my best,” she smiled, “but you have to do your part too okay?”

Derek nodded.

 “I’ll tell the nurse to give everyone 5 more minutes before he has to chase everyone out,” Deaton warned. “Enjoy the rest of your day everyone, Derek, I’ll be meeting you in the OR.”

He nodded again.

 “Understood,” Talia replied. “Thank you both.”

Once the doctors left, it was only the Hale family that remained in the room.

“Are you alive little brother?” Laura asked. “Got awfully quiet there...”

“I’m fine,” he lied.

“You know that it’s okay not to be fine,” she replied. “You have good intentions for doing this Derek and we don’t doubt it for a minute, but it is life threatening surgery so if you are worried then it’s perfectly acceptable. No one expect you to be calm and like it’s the most natural thing in the world...because it’s not.”

Derek had heard everything his sister said, and realised that she was right. He was not okay about this...and there was only one way that he was going to be.

Once Derek realised what he needed to do, he started formulating a plan for it.

“Thanks for the advice,” he answered finally. “It helps.”

“You have all of us here for support,” Cora added.

“We love you Derek,” his mother said, “and we know that you have a good heart. I may be worried, but it’s only because I’m an overprotective mother.  In my heart, I believe that it will all be okay.”

“Yes,” Peter added, “I agree with all that sappy stuff that they said.”

Derek couldn’t help but smile as Laura elbowed Peter in the ribs.

“I see all the happy Peter from your trip has been quickly washed away,” Derek grinned.

“If you had the day at work that I did,” he said, “you’d understand.”

Derek appreciated sharing such a trivial moment with them because if anything went wrong, he was glad that he got to experience it.

However, as soon as they had that familial moment, it was shortly disrupted by the arrival of the nurse.

“I am sorry but you unfortunately need to vacate his room now,” the man said.

Derek was thereafter given hugs, kisses and handshakes from his family as they started exiting out of his room.

“You know Mom is right,” Laura said, him and her alone.

“I know he said.”

“Everything will be okay Derek; I don’t doubt it for a minute,” she replied before she left.

Derek appreciated his sister’s words of wisdom because she often gave great advice, but he still couldn’t help but feel like needed to do that one thing that was plaguing him.

Derek waited 2 minutes, before he quickly climbed out of bed and a started making his way to where he needed to be.

 “He probably on his way up to surgery already,” he thought, but that didn’t deter him from wanting to see Stiles.

Derek quickly made his way towards Stiles’ room, and as he was about to enter the room, he almost collided with someone.

“Derek?!” Melissa Stilinski exclaimed. “What are you doing here?! You are supposed to be in your room!”

“I needed to see Stiles,” he said.

“You need to get back to your room,” she replied.

“Can I have moment with Stiles please?” Derek pleaded. “I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t need to see him.”

Derek could see her be conflicted about whether she should follow hospital procedure or allowing the bond that they have developed with one another, to win out.

“Okay...”she replied eventually, “but they should be here soon for him so you better be quick.”

Melissa quickly stepped aside and let Derek into Stiles’ room where he found the young man lying eerily still.

“Where’s his father?”

“Scott is currently keeping him company,” she replied.

Melissa watched him momentarily as he moved around within the room.

“I’ll leave you to it,” she smiled.

“Thank you,” he said.

She nodded.

As Derek moved to Stiles’ side, he could feel his heart beating loudly within his ears.

The last time he had been alone with the man, Stiles had started crashing. He knew that he wasn’t the reason for it, but that didn’t stop him from thinking that it was.

He settled down in the chair, eyeing Stiles’ hand as it rested neatly by his side.

Derek was scared to touch him, but he could only deny the strong pull for so long before he tentatively reached out for the man’s hand. He slowly inched his hand forward until he managed to hold Stiles’ hand within his own.

Derek sighed audibly; he assumed that it was a sigh of relief from the fact that the machines did not going off, but it could have also been from how he had unconsciously been holding his breath throughout the entire time he was reaching for Stiles’ hand.

“Stiles,” he started. “I know that I made a promise to you that I would be strong but I am scared. I am scared for the surgery, and I am scared that something might go wrong. If I’m being honest, I think my fear stems from the fact that you aren’t here.”

“It sounds crazy right?” he laughed at himself, “I’m scared to do a surgery that could save your life because you aren’t here to guide me through it.”

“You were the one who encouraged me to do something extremely risky,” Derek started, “when all I wanted to do was doing something safe. You talked me through my fears and you helped me realise what I truly wanted when I decided to start the company with Peter.”

“You guided me through my anxiety,” Derek continued, “and you manage to do so every time I started becoming anxious about something...and what made it even more special was that you could always tell I was anxious by the scowl I had on my face. I never had to tell you, _you just knew_.”

“You understand me in a way that still surprises me,” he said, “and right now I wish you were to tell me that it was going to be okay and that I had nothing to worry about. Everyone else keeps saying it, and I believe them for the most part, but a part of me still wishes for you to be there so I can hear you say it.”

“I think why I had to see you and tell you all of this is because I need you to make it back to me,” Derek concluded. “I need you to be okay so that I can be okay. I get that it sounds selfish but I don’t care because if it makes me a bad guy for loving you so much that I want to have you in my life then I can live with that.”

“ _I love you Stiles_ ,” Derek said, gently kissing the man’s hand.

Derek slowly got up, and stole a glance at the man before he exited.

As he did so, he noticed Melissa talking to two people who were presumably about to take Stiles up to the operating room for surgery. He realised that if they were here for Stiles then they would probably also be on their way to his room soon.

Derek quickly left and returned to his room.

As Derek waited in his room, he realised that he felt better after his talk with Stiles; he had gained resolute confidence in what he was doing and he no longer found himself scared. He had somehow gotten lost in the notion of life threatening surgery and not focused on the Stiles part of it...

He heard often heard of people saying that they would give their lives for the people they loved, but he wondered how often those individuals would do it if they were actually placed in such situations.

He knew that he loved Stiles enough to give his life for the man, and somehow he had found himself in a situation where he got to prove that.

Derek only had to wait a few more moments before he got to prove his love, because soon he was being wheeled away to the operating room.

He still had a ball of nerves situated firmly in his stomach, but he knew that it was expected to have some nervous given the situation. He slowed his breathing and tried his best to calm his mind as they slowly wheeled him into the operating room.

Derek enjoyed the last few moments of solitude that he had experienced, as they reminded him of the person he was doing it all for.

When Derek entered into the OR, he noticed a few of the nurses he had seen before in the hospital, and all the surgical equipment that they had set out for the operation. It was like something out of one those Grey Anatomy episodes that Cora always raved about.

Derek was soon lying on his back on the operating table, when Dr Deaton and another doctor entered into the operating room. As Derek was lying on table, he found himself occasionally glancing at the anaesthesiologist who was double checking his charts and ensuring he was ready to put Derek under.

“You ready Derek?” Dr Deaton asked when he walked into the room.

“Yes,” Derek replied confidently.

“Great,” Dr Deaton said. “Please start counting back from 10 for me.”

“ **10,** **9,** **8** **,** **7** **...** **”** he replied as everything faded to total darkness.

 

* * *

Derek was confused when he felt the cold damp ground beneath him.

He had no clue what was happening or how he had gotten there; when he eventually he started moving he surveyed his surroundings in the process.

Derek thought that he was in the woods of Beacon Hills as he took in his surroundings, but he couldn’t be sure because there were no significant landmarks to tell him if he was.

“Hello?” he shouted, his voice echoing into the distance.

He waited for anything to indicate that there would be someone around, but he heard nothing.

He slowly started moving forward, making his way through the woods. Derek wasn’t sure what he was looking for but he knew that there was something that he needed to find.

Soon before he realised it, he had started picking up the pace, eventually moving into a full out sprint. Derek thought that he would get tired, but he didn’t. He felt like he could run forever.

Derek eventually grew bored with running and he came to halt by a nearby stream.

As he knelt down to drink some water, he thought that he saw a wolf in the water’s reflection, but when immediately looked around his surroundings, he found no wolf in sight. Derek slowly went back to the stream once he knew he was alone.

When Derek was finished, he started running again, hoping that he would find some sign of whatever he was supposed to be looking for. Derek had been so distracted by this own train of thought, that he was almost propelled himself over a cliff.

He managed to stop himself in time before going over into the never ending black abyss that lingered at the end of the cliff.

“Damn...” he sighed, for the first time hearing the sound of his heart hammering in his ears.

Derek managed to regain his composure, and was about to take off again when he heard the sound a twig snap nearby. He typically wouldn’t have been able to hear it but given that there was no other sound to be heard, it made the snapping of the twig seem extremely loud. Derek immediately turned to the direction that the sound came from, and he was surprised when he noticed a black wolf sitting there, curiously watching him.

Derek’s first instinct was to grab something to defend himself, but he noticed that there was nothing aggressive or vicious about the wolf. He instead just stood completely still watching him.

Derek had noticed that there was something familiar about the wolf, like he had seen the creature before. He knew that he actually hadn’t but it still didn’t stop him from feeling like he’d seen the wild animal before. It then occurred to Derek that the wolf looked like the one on the key chain he had given to Stiles before they started dating.

Derek noticed that the fur of the wolf was black and that the creature’s eyes were piercingly blue. He slowly begun approaching the wolf, with his hand out for it to sniff. Derek came to a standstill when he was close enough to touch the wild animal, allowing the wolf to close the gap.

A small part of Derek feared that maybe he had misread the situation when the wolf started coming closer, but he was relieved when the wolf started licking his hand after it had sniffed it.

Derek gently caressed the silky fur of the animal when it suddenly perked its head up and took off without warning. Derek instinctively followed the creature hoping to catch up to it. He wasn’t as fast as the wolf to keep up but he wasn’t so slow that he lost sight of it either.

He finally caught up when a minute or so later when the animal came to standstill by a cave.

He assumed that there was something in the cave that the wolf wanted him to see, so he tentatively made his way towards the opening of the cave.

“Anyone in here?” he voiced, hearing no reply.

Derek continued to further explore the cave going deeper into it. He initially could not see where he was going but his eyes adapted to the dark, becoming like night vision goggles as he went deeper inside.

“I’m here to help,” he shouted into the cave.

He looked around the cave not seeing anything particular, until he stumbled over a few rocks that he had not seen. It was as he looked down that he noticed something out of place catch his eye.

He recognised it as shoe.

Derek slowly made his way towards the shoe, unsure of what he would find, and when he finally got close enough to see what it was, he rushed towards it.

“Stiles?!” he said. “Stiles, it’s me! Are you okay?”

Stiles had been lying unconsciously in the cave, until he scooped the man into his arms.

Derek tried to wake the man but it didn’t work. He felt for a pulse, or anything that would give him proof of life, and he was immensely relieved when he found one, albeit it a weak one.

Derek scooped the man into his arms and began carrying out of the cave.

“How can I wake him?” he asked the wolf when he came rushing out.

The wolf turned its head to its left side, perking up its left ear.

Derek listened for whatever he was supposed to hear, and when he heard it, he knew immediately where he was meant to take Stiles.

He firmly carried the man in his arms as he took off as fast as he could to the stream.

It was only a matter of seconds before he was at the stream, kneeling down to give Stiles some of the water from it.

“Stiles!” Derek repeated.  “Come on Stiles! Wake up!!”

Derek held his breath for a second hoping that the water from the stream would be enough to wake up the man.

He released a huge sigh of relief when Stiles regained consciousness.

“Derek?” Stiles asked. “What is going on? Where are we?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “How do you feel?”

“Fine,” Stiles answered, “just confused. Where are we doing in the woods?”

“I wish I had an answer to your question but I don’t...”

Just as Derek finished speaking, there was a sudden violent rumbling that started happening. It was like they had started experiencing an earthquake. Soon Derek and Stiles had to move because the trees around them started collapsing.

“What’s happening now?” Stiles asked.

“I really wish I knew,” he answered. “Right now, all I know is that if we stay here we are going to be crushed by trees.”

They soon spend off in an opposite direction from where all the rumbling noise was coming from.

Derek assumed that there was something coming at them given the direction that the trees were falling. As they were running, Derek soon realised that they were being chased towards the cliff that went off into the black abyss.

While he realised that the ultimate conclusion of what would happen was unpleasant, he was more worried about them not making it to the cliff in time because the trees around them were falling at such a fast speed.

The man managed to spot a collapsing tree that would have crushed them just in time, forcing him to tackle Stiles out of the way. They ended up rolling for a few times, becoming entangled with one another.

“Thank you,” Stiles said, gazing into the eyes of the man.

“It’s a pleasure,” Derek replied, staring back at the man.

They both stayed in that position, a little while longer than what was necessary before they started moving.

“Do you know what is causing all of this?” Stiles asked as they were running through the woods.

“No,” he answered.  “I might have an inkling of where it’s pushing us towards though.”

“Do I want to know?”

“Not particularly...”

They continued running, until they stop when they came into view of the cliff.

“This is going to sound crazy,” he replied, “but I think we’re going to have to jump off the cliff.”

“What?!?” he shouted.

“I told you it would sound crazy,” he replied.

“You said crazy,” Stiles shouted, “not psychopathically demented Derek!”

“I don’t think there is another way...”

“We have to try though,” Stiles protested.

“We don’t have the time Stiles!” Derek replied. “Besides don’t you think that there is something odd about the cliff?”

“The fact that it just goes off into a never ending black abyss?” Stiles shouted unimpressed. “I did notice that Derek, thank you for asking.”

“So I figure either we stand here,” Derek replied, looking at the falling trees, “and be crushed to death or take out chances leaping into a never ending abyss.”

“Please tell me which of those option sound appealing,” he harrumphed, “because none of those would sound remotely worthwhile to a normal person!!!”

“Stiles,” he said. “I need you to trust me!”

“That’s not trust,” he said. “Trust is earned, this is blinding faith.”

“Well I need you to have faith in me and the fact that I would not steer us wrong.”

Stiles felt very conflicted about what Derek was asking of him.

They had no time to come up with a proper alternative and he was asking him to do something that he had no clue would work out.

“It’s not so easy for me to go diving off a cliff Derek,” he replied.

“Then we’ll do it together,” Derek countered.

Derek grabbed a hold of Stiles hand; “On the count of three...”

“One..two..”

“Derek Stop!!” Stiles yelled, just before the got to the cliff. “I can’t.”

Derek had been pulled to a violent stop about a ruler’s length away from the edge of the cliff.

“Stiles look at me,” he said.

Stiles was looking everywhere except for at him.

“STILES.LOOK.AT.ME.”

Stiles lifted his gaze until he was staring in Derek’s face.

Derek grabbed a hold of the man’s chin, tilted it up and closed the space between them.

He kissed Stiles on the lips, ignoring everything else that was happening around them and only focusing on that moment.

Stiles could feel all the hair on his skin rise up, as the kiss sent a jolt through his body.

Soon Stiles relaxed into the kiss, and it was only a matter of time until he was passionately returning the kiss, moving his body closer to Derek’s so he could fully enjoy it. His senses were tingling and he was enjoying every single second of it.

Eventually when the broke apart for some much needed air, both men’s lips were swollen.

“I promise you Stiles,” Derek said sincerely, caressing the man’s cheek. “We will be okay, please just trust me...”

“Okay,” Stiles nodded. “But I don’t want to see it.”

“Hold onto me,” Derek said.

Stiles moved in front of Derek, facing the man and his back towards the endless abyss. It wasn’t the smartest move because he could still see the collapsing trees closing in on them, but he instead chose to focus on Derek’s face.

Derek stared directly into Stiles eyes, before he started kissing the man again.

Stiles eagerly returned the kiss, clearing his mind of anything else.

He was so encumbered by the kiss that he didn’t feel Derek pushing off the ground, sending them falling over the cliff and into the darkness.  Stiles didn’t know what was awaiting them but he didn’t care because not only did he feel safe in Derek’s arms, but he knew that he wouldn’t be alone.

* * *

“You know that ever since Claudia got sick, I’ve never liked hospitals,” John said, sitting by his son’s side. “I find it pretty ironic that I ended up with Melissa who actually works at a hospital.”

“I never liked hospitals too,” Talia Hale replied, sitting by Derek’s side. “With Derek’s father having passed away, I just never fully got over my uneasiness.”

“I’m sure that the birth of the grandchildren must have helped,” he said.

“It did,” she replied. “Witnessing them being born and becoming a grandparent has been such a gift.”

“I don’t know what that feels like yet,” John laughed. “I don’t know when Scott and Allison are planning on getting around to giving me grandchildren but I hope it’s soon because I’m not getting any younger.”

“I know that feeling well,” Talia laughed, “but thankfully Laura delivered.”

“Must have been a relief,” he said.

“It was, but still...by now I thought I would have had more.”

“I had imagined that by now,” John started, “Derek and Stiles would have started considering adopting or something. When they had gotten together, I had imagined that it was only going to be a matter of time before they announced that they were getting married. They had already moved so fast when they had decided to live with each other.”

“I am so relieved to have heard you say that,” Talia replied, “because that was exactly what I thought.  Whenever I would watch them, they had such a distinctive and intense pull between each other that you could tell they had found something special with each other.”

“I wonder what took them so long.”

“I think that Derek’s engagement with Kate was the reason they decided to wait,” she said. “He mistook passion for love in their relationship, so things were moving very quickly and when it all came crashing down, I think it affected him more than he let one.”

“Bad relationships often have a profound effect on your future relationships in ways you don’t even realise,” John voiced.

“Speaking from experience?” Talia questioned.

“Something like that,” he laughed.

“Did you know that Stiles was going to propose that night of Derek’s accident,” Talia inquired.

“When he had told me,” John replied. “I was so proud of him...”

“When he had asked for my permission, I was so caught surprised by the gesture,” she added. “Not because I wasn’t thrilled by it but because how old-fashioned and considerate Stiles was to have even ask.”

“He has this hybrid version of an old soul on him if that makes sense,” John replied.

“It does,” she answered, smiling at the man sitting across the room from her.

“It’s kinda heartbreaking when you realise how much they had gone through,” he voiced, “only to have ended up here.”

“Yeah,” she said. “These kids just can’t seem to catch a break.”

“I hope that from here on out everything gets better for them,” John replied. “They deserve it.”

“They certainly do,” Talia replied, as she stroked Derek’s head.

Neither of them said anything after that moment, choosing to let the silence instead take over.

They both instead stared lovingly at their children in the joint room that they would now share.

Minutes passed without them saying anything, until eventually Talia felt herself grow hungry.

“Would you like anything from the vending machine?”

“No thank you,” John replied.

“Okay then,” she replied. “Be back soon.”

“Take your time,” he said. “I’ll get Melissa to make an announcement over the intercoms if anything happens.”

Talia Hale left, leaving John Stilinski alone in the room to watch after their children.

John looked over his son, noticing that he was looking better than he had in recent days. The scars on his face from the car crash had already started healing. As John Stilinski was looking at Stiles, he wasn’t sure, but he thought that he noticed Stiles’ hand move.

He shrugged it off as his eyes playing tricks on him, but then when he saw it happen again, he knew that it did actually happened.

John Stilinski did the first thing he thought off, and he called his wife.

“Melissa!” he yelled.

“What is it?” she said when she rushed into the room.

“I thought I saw Stiles’ hand moved and then I thought that I was imagining it,” he rambled, “until it happened again.”

As Melissa was examining Stiles, she noticed that his eyes were slowly starting to open.

“Get the doctor,” she yelled out at the nurses’ station.

It didn’t take long until Dr Morrell bounded into the room, and by the time that she was present Stiles had managed to regain consciousness.

“Hello Stiles,” she replied. “I am Dr Morrell. You’re at Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital. Did you know how you got here?”

“Not exactly,” he groggily replied. “I was in the car with Derek when he suddenly gripped onto me and then the next thing I felt was this violent crash and nothing afterwards.”

“You were involved in a car crash,” she explained. “How are you feeling?”

“Well no wonder why I feel like I was hit by a bus,” he hazily answered.

“Technically it was a van,” his father added.

“Even better,” he joked, which made his parents smile.

“Glad you’re able to joke,” Dr Morrell said, “but seriously Stiles how do you feel?”

“Uhm...Groggy, tender and my throat’s a little dry but otherwise I feel okay,” he replied.

“Have some water,” she said, giving him a glass.

As Dr Morrell continued her questioning, Stiles had decided that he wanted to sit up, but as he did so he felt a pain that rippled across the entire right side of his abdomen.

“Ouch,” he yelped.

“Careful Stiles,” Melissa added. “You’ve just had liver transplant surgery.”

“What?!” he said. “Why?”

“There was a complication from the car accident,” she said. “Your blood started clotting around your liver and it compromised your liver’s ability to function. We tried using a blood thinner to stop the clotting but unfortunately by the time it worked, your liver had already sustained irreparable damage.”

“So I had to have a liver transplant?” he asked.

“Yes,” she replied.

“Wow,” he stated.

“I can imagine that this is a lot to take in,” she stated, “and I’m sure your family will explain it but you should take it easy. I will be back tomorrow morning to answer any questions that you may have, but from my preliminary inspection, everything appears to be fine.”

“We need to monitor his response to the transplant,” she said, turning her attention to Melissa, “So the next few hours will be critical for that.”

“Will do so Dr Morrell,” Melissa replied.

“Take it easy Stiles,” she said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Goodbye Dr Morrell,” he said.

After Dr Morrell left, Melissa had to leave to when her pager started beeping.

“I would love to stay but my other patients need me,” she said.

“Okay,” John replied. “Get back soon.”

“Will do,” she said. “Stiles, I am extremely happy to see you awake and I will be back as soon as I can. We will chat later okay?”

“I understand,” he smiled.

“Love you,” she said.

“Love you too,” he replied.

“And me?” John asked, all dejectedly.

“Of course I love you,” she said, kissing her husband on the lips before she left.

“Was that really necessary Dad?” Stiles replied, as he took another sip of his water.

“You can’t blame a man for loving his wife,” he replied.

“So cheesy,” Stiles groaned.

 John Stilinski could not stop grinning from ear to ear, as he stared at his son.

There had been many instances over the last few days when he had been very worried if his son would even survive but now all that worry had been alleviated by the fact that Stiles was awake and he was in better shape that what he had been in.

His son was a fighter; he just fought one hell of a battle for his life and won.

He could not help but start tearing up as the realisation set in that Stiles would be okay.

“Dad?” Stiles asked, when he noticed his dad crying. “Are you okay?”

“Uhm yeah,” he replied, wiping the tears away. “Just really happy to see you finally awake. You gave us all quite a few scares there...”

“Sorry Dad,” he replied.

“No don’t apologise,” he laughed. “I’m just being a silly old man...How are _you_ doing kiddo?”

“Clearly better than you are,” he joked, which made his father smile.

“I’ve missed this,” John answered.

“Missed what?” Stiles asked.

“Seeing this side of you,” he clarified. “With everything that happened recently you’ve barely had any reason to smile or joke, and when you would smile there would always be a little of sadness in your smile. It’s nice to see like this.”

“It has certainly been a difficult couple of months,” he answered, diverting his gaze from his father to his bed thread.

“Yeah,” his father replied, “but Stiles I want you to know something important. You have to make me promise that you won’t forget it okay?”

“What is it dad?”

“I love you kiddo,” he replied. “When I thought you were going to die, it kept plaguing me that the last time I spoke to my son I didn’t tell him that I love him. I would not have been able to handle you thinking that I didn’t love you and that you didn’t hear me say it.”

“We used to say it every day before you went to school after your mother died,” John continued, clearing the lump in his throat, “but as the years went by and you got older we started saying it less and less.”

“I just wanted you to know that I love you so much Stiles. As a parent we only want the best for our children, and for them to know that they are unconditionally loved,” his father finished, as tears freely ran down his face.

“I love you too Dad,” Stiles replied, “and you never to have worry about whether or not I know that because I do. I know we haven’t said it as much as what we should but I would never doubt your love for me.”

“I am relieved to hear you say that he said,” he grinned.

John got up gave his son a hug, and placed kiss on his son’s head.

“Is it odd that this reminds me of those times you used to read me bedtime stories,” Stiles laughed.

“It was such a simpler time,” he father replied. “You were a lot easier to protect back then.”

“You took up a lot less space on the bed then too,” Stiles reply.

“Are you saying that I, Sheriff John Stilinski, got fat?”

“Dad,” Stiles commented, “referring to yourself in third person does not make me take you more seriously.”

“Watch it Mr,” his father jested, “I could put you in lock up for a night.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Stiles taunted.

They couldn’t help but start laughing at that. Stiles had to stop as soon as he started because laughing only made his whole abdomen ache.

Stiles father moved back to the chair by his son’s side when someone came into the room.

“Is everything alright?” Talia Hale announced returning from her walk. “Because I saw Stiles’ doctor in the passage with...”

“Talia?” Stiles said in surprise.

“Stiles!!” she exclaimed excitedly, quickly rushing towards the young man to give him a hug. “Oh my god Stiles you’re awake!!”

“Ow,” he groaned slightly.

“Sorry,” she replied. “I am just so happy to see you awake! We’ve all been so worried about you.”

“Well I am fine now,” he smiled. “It is really lovely to see you.”

“It is so lovely to see you too,” she replied unable to stop herself from giving him another hug and kiss on the temple. “I missed you.”

“I was always here,” Stiles answered. “Are you only visiting me now?”

“Of course not,” she laughed, as Stiles teased.  “You know what I mean.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I was here for the surgery of course,” she replied.

“That’s great,” he replied. “Was Derek here as well?”

“I thought you knew,” she answered.

“What do you mean?” Stiles asked.

“Haven’t you noticed that there was someone else in the room?” his father asked. 

Stiles had been so overwhelmed by all of the news on his present situation, that he had barely taken the time to notice his surroundings.

He then noticed that there was another patient present in the room. He was unable to see who it was because all he could see was the lower half of the person’s body.

Stiles still felt a bit hazy from all the news that he was processing, so he wasn’t as quick as what he should have been when figuring out who was beside him.

Stiles found his heart pick up speed when Talia Hale slowly pulled back the divider to reveal Derek lying unconsciously next to him.

Stiles felt his heart sank as he saw Derek. He had heavy circles under his eyes, a bandage on his forehead and overall just looking exhausted. If anything was clear to Stiles, it was that the man had not gotten enough rest as what he should have.

“Is he okay?” Stiles asked, his voice thick with concern.

“He will be fine,” she smiled. “He is just sleeping from the medication. Dr Deaton said that the medication he’s on will make him drowsy so he will still be asleep for a few more hours.”

“What happened to him?”  Stiles asked. “Was it from the car crash?”

“No,” Talia replied. “Didn’t they tell you?”

“We hadn’t gotten around to it yet,” John replied.

“Tell me what?”

“Derek was the donor for the liver transplant,” she answered.

“He gave me half of his liver?” Stiles enquired in disbelief. “Why? I thought they would use some anonymous donor that I match with?”

“No,” John said. “Dr Deaton explained that the best way to get you a new liver would be to see for someone with an immediate connection for a match. I unfortunately wasn’t a match and neither were Scott and Melissa.”

“But they aren’t family by blood,” Stiles said.

“It’s not about DNA or relative blood,” Talia added, “just about someone who has the same blood type as you...and Derek managed to be a match, so he donated a portion of his liver.”

“Wow,” Stiles replied, glancing at the man. “That is huge...”

“Derek volunteered to help when he found out about it,” his father said. “It was huge decision because of all the dangers that comes with liver transplant surgery but it was one that he decided to do because he wanted to.”

“You have been such an invaluable person to Derek,” Talia added, “so obviously he felt it was also his way to make up for everything.”

“I can’t believe it he would do that for me,” Stiles answered.

“Well you would have done the same thing too,” his father said. “Even Derek knew that. He said you would have thrown in a kidney too if you could.”

Stiles heard all that they were telling him, and while he believed them, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more to Derek’s decision. Maybe he was just reading too much into from everything that had happened.

Stiles realised that Derek and his father had been right because if the situation was reversed or any other one of the people he cared for was in such a predicament then he would have done anything within his power to help. Though, it didn’t make what Derek did any less amazing.

The man had given half his liver to Stiles because he had needed it to survive; it was a lot to comprehend.

Stiles was still taking in the latest development, when they were interrupted by the return of his stepmother.

“Are you okay Stiles?” she questioned.

“Yes,” he replied. “Just taking everything that has happened recently...it’s a lot.”

“Well, take it easy,” she said using her nurse voice. “You need some rest...and that means that while we are all ecstatic by the news of you making it out of surgery alright, we really need to give you some time to recuperate.”

“Can’t we have a few more minutes?”John asked.

“I would love to but Stiles really needs to get some sleep love,” Melissa replied apologetically.

“Okay then,” he sighed.

“Do you need something to help you sleep or will you be fine Stiles?” she asked.

“I wouldn’t mind taking something to help me sleep,” he replied.

“Okay,” she answered. “John and Talia, I think we should give Stiles and Derek some peace and quiet for a while then we can come back later.”

“Rest easy kiddo,” his father replied. “Love you.”

“Thanks Dad,” he said. “Love you too.”

“I am really happy to see you awake Stiles,” Talia replied. “Get some sleep.”

“Will do,” he smiled.

After they left, Melissa took out a bottle and a syringe where she then transferred the contents from the bottle into his IV bag. It didn’t take long for Stiles to start feeling the effects of the sedative.

“When I told Scott the news that you woke up,” she smiled, “he wanted to come over immediately.”

“Of course he would,” Stiles laughed.

“I managed to convince him to give you some time to rest,” his stepmother smiled, “before the masses swarmed over you.”

“Thank you,” he replied, feeling himself grow sleepy. “I really appreciate it.”

“I will see you in a few hours time,” she replied. “If you wake up and need anything, I’ll be just outside at the nurses’ station okay?”

“Thanks Melissa,” he replied.

“Love you kiddo.”

“Love you too.”

As Melissa closed the door, Stiles felt the sedative work faster.

 Stiles quickly glanced at Derek, noticing how beautiful the man looked as he was sleeping peacefully beside him. It had reminded him of many times when he would sometimes get up in the middle of the night to work, and Derek would be sleeping peacefully.

Stiles couldn’t help but smile at the memory, but as soon as he did so, he stopped himself.

He had been planning to leave the country a few days before because of his love for the man, allowing himself to reminisce was not only counterintuitive, but also just made him realise all the heartache he had experienced over the last few months, and that was not what he wanted to think of as he fell asleep.

Stiles instead diverted his gaze from the man, and slowly nestled himself further into his bed.

It wasn’t long then when the sedative fully kicked in, carrying him off into deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I feel like it would have been an injustice not to have Derek’s family with him in the start, and also to not have him see Stiles before the surgery.  
> 2\. I love the short story in the middle because it’s so cute. I tried something a little different with it and I know some might not like it, but it was like a hat tip to canon. I also wanted it to be metaphorical of how with Derek going into surgery and then he found Stiles and then he brings Stiles back with him out. Hope you liked the tiny nods to Under the Dome and Penny Dreadful.  
> 3\. I loved writing the chat between Talia and John. It was so nice to write.  
> 4\. Stiles is awake and healthy yay!!  
> 5\. The father/son feels!  
> 6\. Hope you are enjoying my story. I am not exactly reinventing the wheel here so I know that I could be doing better, plot and writing wise, but thank you for sticking it out with me. You’ve made the past few months extremely enjoyable.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts on the mini-story and the chapter in general. I LOVE hearing your comments because it reminds me that there are actually people out there and I am not writing out into a void. I apologise if this sounds clingy and needy but that comes with the territory of being a writer. Haha.
> 
> PS – Happy NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) though I would assume it’s international but I digress. To everyone taking part good luck and happy writing! I would love to take part but unfortunately I am writing exams and I’m working on finishing this fic but to everyone else. Write to your heart’s content. You can register at http://nanowrimo.org/ 
> 
> Find Me: Enjoying my few days before, hopefully, my final exam as a University of Cape Town Undergraduate. 
> 
> Title: Make You Feel My Love - Adele- Original Bob Dylan  
> This is a Bob Dylan song that Adele does such a superb cover of in my books. Music is just amazing....Please go give it a listen if you have never heard of this song!


	27. Torn Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Apologies for all errors.

When Derek awoke, he didn’t know where he was.

It took him a moment for the realisation of what had happened to set in, and when it did, he remembered why he was in the hospital. Along with that, his unbridled worry about Stiles came flooding back.

Derek turned his head from, side to side, taking in his surroundings. He tried sitting up but as soon as he did, he felt a sudden stab of pain across the right side of his abdomen.  He soundlessly groaned, stopping his fast movement and then taking a moment before he slowly continued.

He slowly settled into a comfortable position, and when he did, he finally realised that his mother was nowhere to be seen.

 He was surprised that his mother wasn’t by his side, but he wasn’t particularly alarmed either. He figured that she was either somewhere in the hospital or she went home to change quickly.

Derek’s gaze slowly drifted out of his room window, looking out over Beacon Hills.

He could tell that it was morning as the sun was rising over the town, but it was still early enough that everyone was only just waking up. He started remembering how sometimes he and Stiles would take a few minutes to appreciate those early mornings that most people often ignored. There is an inexplicable beauty about watching everyone wake up and starting their day.

He felt a smile pull at the corner of his lips at the memory, but then the smile faded as he realised he had no information on Stiles.

Derek hoped that the surgery had turned out successful because then it all would be okay, and that Stiles would make a full recovery. He didn’t even allow himself to think of the alternative for a second because that would be asking for trouble. Derek wondered how long he’d have to wait until someone came to the room so he could find out about Stiles.

As Derek waited, he realised that he was thirsty.

After he spotted an empty glass and a jug nearby, he had to extend his body further to pour himself a glass of water.  He hadn’t realised how thirsty he actually was until he had started drinking the water. He quickly refilled his glass for a second and third time until he had felt like he quenched his thirst.

 As he was downing his third glass, he noticed slight movement at the corner of his left eye.

In the room, there had been a divider that was pulled back enough for you to see on the other side if you were sitting up far enough. If you’re just lying down, or sitting back, you would not be able to see anything, but as he was drinking his water he had managed to catch a glimpse of movement he would not have otherwise.

Derek turned his head to catch a better look at what caught his eye, and as he did so, he felt himself overcome with emotion. It was Stiles, who was still asleep, in the hospital bed next to his. What had caught his eye was Stiles moving in his sleep.

For most people that would be something inconsequential, but to Derek it made all the difference in the world.

Derek could not believe how happy he was to have seen such small but significant movement happen from the man. Stiles had been deadly still when he was still unconscious, but this was him asleep.

Derek immediately tried his best to get out of bed and move closer to Stiles. It took him a few minutes to manage such a simple feat, and while he was feeling extremely tender and fragile, he would have gladly paid that price tenfold for Stiles.

Derek eventually made it to Stiles’ bedside after moving at a snail’s pace, and when he sat down in the chair by Stiles’ side, he could not have been happier.

Derek did not say anything out of fear from disturbing Stiles’ sleep but he was content to sit there.

His contentment didn’t last long because he soon found himself absentmindedly stroking Stiles’ cheek. He was lost in the splendour of the moment knowing that Stiles had survived the surgery and that the man he was in love with, was okay.

Derek noticed that the man was restless, and he was scrunching his face.

From past experience, he knew that Stiles only did that when he was having a bad dream or he was worried about something. Stiles soon became still and relaxed as Derek was gently stroking his cheek. It even looked like he was nudging his face closer to Derek’s hand at one point.

Stiles had unintentionally moved his face so close to Derek’s hand that he woke himself up from his sleep because of the movement.

Derek had moved his hand away in time so that when Stiles regained consciousness, he was unaware about what had woken him.

“Derek?”

“Hey Stiles,” the man replied.

“What are you doing?” Stiles asked, still half asleep. “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”

“I had to see for myself if you were awake,” Derek answered.

“I’m awake now,” Stiles answered, rubbing his eyes.

“I can tell,” Derek smiled, noticing the slight sarcasm in Stiles’ voice.

Derek found himself at a loss for words after that.

Actually, he knew what he wanted to say, he just didn’t have any clue to get it out so he let the silence linger between them instead.

The silence grew when neither man volunteered up anything, though it was clear their minds were both full of words ready to spew out. There was only the sound of machines, their breathing, and birds chirping outside that to broke their silence.

“Thank you,” Stiles started when the silence grew too uncomfortable. “Thank you for saving my life.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said. “I was only the donor. I am just glad that you are doing okay Stiles.”

“Still,” he started, “I appreciate it Derek, you saved my life and I will forever be grateful to you for that Derek.”

“You’ve been there for me through everything over the past few months,” Derek replied, “and you’ve always been a good friend to me Stiles so I was just glad that I could repay that debt in some way.”

“Thank you for saying that,” Stiles said, “even you didn’t have to.”

“It’s true,” Derek said, “you have been a very good friend to me Stiles, even though I didn’t always deserve it.”

“Well it’s all good now; you more than made up for it with the liver,” Stiles joked.

Derek found himself grinning at that.

 “...but seriously,” Stiles continued after a moment, “I am really glad you did it, even though you didn’t have to Derek. I understand how risky the surgery was and I’m just so grateful that you did it.”

Derek nodded at that, and he was willing to leave it at that, but he found himself unexpectedly speaking up.

“But I did,” Derek whispered, before realising that he had anything.

“What?”

“I did have to do it,” he said more audibly.

“What do you mean?”

Derek had opened his mouth and was about tell Stiles everything.

He was about to say that of course he had to do it because he didn’t want the man he loved to die. Of course he had to do it because he wanted more than anything for Stiles to be okay and safe. Of course he had to do because he would do anything for the man.

He would not leave something like that to chance when he had the capabilities of helping to save the life of the man who had been his rock in times of trouble, the man who had endured so much and stood by his side through the good and bad.  The man who was selfless, caring, compassionate, was funny and endearing, and who made Derek want to be a better man.

Not giving a piece of his liver to save the life of the person who made Derek’s life better was not even an option. He _had_ to do it because if he had not, he would not have been able to handle the thought of losing Stiles from his life...permanently.

Derek was about to tell Stiles all of that, but just as he started to open his mouth, they were interrupted.

“Derek?! Why are you out of bed?!” Melissa Stilinski exclaimed as she rushed into the room once she saw Derek out of bed.

He didn’t answer her because her tone of voice was rhetorical.

“You could rip open your stitches Derek!” she chastised. “You just had major surgery; you’re supposed to be resting in bed.”

“Sorry,” he said, retracting into himself a little.

Melissa Stilinksi helped the man back into bed, getting him settled in.

“I’m really glad you’re awake,” Melissa said, “but I want you to be careful Derek because I doubt you’d want to be in the hospital longer than you need to be right?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Great,” she smiled. “So we have a deal that you’ll be careful and take it easy?”

He nodded.

“I’m glad that we understand each other,” she smirked before changing the topic. “What are both of you boys doing up so early?”

“We just woke up,” Stiles said. “Why are you here so early?”

“I thought I would check up on you both,” Melissa replied. “How are you both feeling?”

“A bit tender,” Stiles replied, “but otherwise I’m fine.”

“Good to hear that,” she said. “Derek?”

“Good,” he said.

“Okay,” she said. “I know that today will be a busy day for you both as the doctors are coming around as well as your friends and family. I will try to make sure they do not overwhelm you, but in the mean time you should get some sleep okay?”

They both nodded.

Derek found himself glancing at Stiles occasionally when Melissa wasn’t focusing on him, and he noticed how the man had nestled himself back into his bed.

So much had happened over the past few months that had torn them apart from where they were and what they had. Stiles was not the same person he had been months before, he had changed and Derek couldn’t help but wonder if that change had made him more closed off because of how the man had been hurt.

He knew that he had changed to because ever since getting his memory back he had been struggling to reconcile the person he knew himself to be, versus that of the man he had become over the last few months.

They were so far removed from how things were meant to be that he wondered if it was ever a possibility of getting back to that place. Derek knew how he felt about the man and he wanted Stiles to know that because the man thought that Derek did not care for him when in fact he did.

Derek did not know what would be ahead of them, but he knew that Stiles meant everything to him.

Derek slowly leaned back into his bed, thoughts still swirling around his head as he found himself falling asleep.

Melissa continued to check their charts and their vitals, scribbling down notes as she did so. Eventually by the time that she exited their room, Melissa could tell that both men were fast asleep. 

* * *

“What are you are reading that has you so engrossed?” John Stalinski asked when he came into his son’s hospital room.

“I had to check my emails,” Stiles said. “I had no clue what has happened with the Columbia University thing so I wanted to see if they had tried to get in contact with me.”

“I thought Lydia had been taking care of that?” his father said.

“She did,” Stiles said, “but she told me that they would send me an email about the position.”

“And of course you couldn’t wait,” his dad smiled.  “Did you find anything yet?”

“Nothing ye-wait a minute...”

“What?”

“I found it,” Stiles said, suddenly looking very nervous.

“What does it say?” his father enquired.

Stiles didn’t answer his father because he was reading the email from Columbia University as quickly as possible. He would have been lying if he said that he wasn’t worried about the contents of the email, because even he could tell that his pulse was racing.

The machine by his bed even noted the increase in heart rate.

“Well?” his father pressed.

“They still want me,” he swallowed. “It says that they are willing to wait for me to recover and that position as head of the department is still mine if I want it: _It would be a failure on our part if we did not try our best in luring such a talented scholar as yourself to our illustrious university_.”

“That’s huge,” his father commented.

“Yeah,” he sighed, still taking in the news.

“So are you still going to take them up on it?”

“I don’t know Dad,” he replied, inhaling deeply.

“Listen Stiles,” his father started. “You know that I will support you in whatever decision you make, but I just have something to say.”

“I’m listening...”

“Don’t you think the crash was a sign that you should stay? You know I don’t believe in that stuff but if there ever was a sign that you should stay then surely that car crash was it?”

“I understand what you’re saying Dad,” Stiles replied, “but if anything, I think that if the crash was a sign, then maybe it was one saying that I can’t stay in Beacon Hills anymore.”

“So you’re still leaning towards?”

“I not sure Dad,” Stiles replied. “I’m just saying that I still have to weigh up my options; even if I do go, there has been nothing in particular that has changed in order for me to consider staying. I promise that as soon as I make up my mind you’ll be the first to know.”

“That’s all I ask,” John replied. “I’m not oblivious to how big of step this is for your career, but I just feel like you, and everyone else who loves you, just had the scare of our lives with this accident. I just want you to be happy and healthy Stiles.”

Stiles could tell how hard it was for his father to not outright express that leaving was not the right decision.

Stiles knew that his father would not say anything untoward both because he didn’t want to bad mouth Stiles’ decision, and he did not want to make his son feel bad for wanting something that he didn’t agree with.

 Stiles understood it, and if his father didn’t have someone like Melissa in his life then he never would have even considered the position at Columbia University in the first place, never mind accepting it.

His father naturally didn’t want to lose his son to the other side of the country, especially after just getting him back from a nearly fatal car accident. Any parent would want to have their child close and somewhere where they could keep a watchful eye over them.

Even when your child becomes their own person with their own life, they never stop being your child. A parent will always want to protect their child.

“Okay Dad,” Stiles replied, ending that particular conversation. “I understand.”

 “Otherwise, how are you feeling kiddo?” Stiles’ father asked, changing the topic. “You had a pretty busy day.”

“You’re telling me,” he smiled.

“Did you enjoy having everyone around you today?”

“It was great,” he smiled. “Tiring but fun. Scott was particularly happy.”

“Well your brother was worried about you,” John replied. “He visited when he got get away from the vet, and he called every day.”

“I missed him too,” Stiles smiled. “From the sounds of it work is particularly fun for him given the new interns that he and Isaac are training.”

“Isaac is not particularly impressed with the interns,” his father laughed.

“I’m sure,” Stiles smiled. “It was nice though having everyone around; I think I speak for myself and Derek saying that it was nice.”

“Speaking off, how are things between the two of you?” John asked.

“I’m not sure,” Stiles told his dad. “We haven’t had enough one on one time for me to know how we are, but we seem to be fine.”

Stiles father leaned back to take a peek at the man, and seeing his back as the front side of his body was facing the wall.

“He must have been very tired from the day because he’s asleep,” his father said.

“I can feel myself slipping too,” Stiles found himself involuntarily yawning, as the busy day he had finally took a toll on him.

“Is that my queue to leave?” his father quipped.

“Oh no, sorry dad,” Stiles apologised. “I didn’t mean to let you think that I wanted you to go.”

“It’s okay Stiles,” John Stalinski laughed. “You do need some rest so I’m going to go and spend some time in the cafeteria.”

“When last did you get a proper night’s rest?”  Stiles asked.

“Last night,” his father lied.

“You were in the hospital last night,” Stiles replied, “and according to Melissa you’ve hardly left my side.”

“Because I wanted to make sure that my son is okay,” John replied.

“You still need some proper rest,” Stiles admonished. “Please promise me you’re going to go home and sleep?”

“I’m going to be fine Stiles,” his father argued.

“Dad, you work yourself to the bone as is,” he sighed. “You finally took time off so please use it to rest. I promise that nothing bad will happen. I will be asleep for most of the night and then only wake up tomorrow morning.”

“Stiles I am-”

“If you stay,” Stiles scolded, “then I will make sure that you won’t be allowed to see me until you get at least 8 hours of sleep at home.”

“You’re not going to let this go are you?”

“No.”

“I forget how stubborn you can be sometimes,” John sighed.

“Well I clearly got my stubbornness from someone in this room, and I doubt that it’s Derek,” Stiles answered, with a raised eyebrow.

“Fine,” he father said, defeated. “I will go home and get some rest, but I will be here first thing in the morning.”

“That’s fine,” Stiles grinned. “Just know that I will ask Melissa if you got any sleep or not.”

John Stalinski just shook his head.

“I will see you in morning,” John replied, kissing his son’s head before leaving. “Love you Stiles.”

“Love you too Dad,” he said.

Stiles watched as his father left, closing the room door behind him.

He felt bad for sending his father away, but he knew that he was doing it for the right reasons. The man does not get as much sleep as what he should. Being the sheriff of Beacon Hills keeps him extremely busy so he often pulls all-nighters.

Stiles knew that while his father would momentarily be upset with him, he would feel better in the morning, which would make him okay with kicking the man out of his room.

Stiles just started to put away the iPad when he heard someone pouring water.

“So how much of that did you hear?” Stiles asked.

“Some of it,” Derek lied.

“I didn’t come off as too aggressive or something right?”

“You were fine Stiles,” Derek replied. “You sounded like a concerned son. Your father knows that you are only concerned about his well-being.”

“He forgets that he can’t do everything and that he needs to rest,” Stiles commented.

“My dad used to be the same,” Derek said.

Stiles heard something in Derek’s voice as he said that, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. He knew a lot about Derek’s father, but he knew that the man would volunteer the information when he was ready. Instead Stiles decided not to linger on the subject.

“So what are you doing up?” Stiles asked. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Something like that,” Derek replied.

There was silence after that. Stiles could tell that Derek wasn’t up for any conversation but he there was something that he wanted to ask the man.

“Can I ask you something,” Stiles asked after a moment. “It’s been bugging me the whole day today.”

“What is it?”

“What did you mean earlier Derek?” Stiles asked. “When you said that you _had_ to do the surgery?”

Derek wanted nothing more than to tell Stiles he got his memory back ever since he woke up, and now he finally had the chance.

Derek would have gladly told the man that the reason he did the surgery was because he was in love with Stiles and because he wanted nothing more than for the man he loved to be okay, but that was all before he had overheard the conversation between Stiles and his father.

If Derek told the Stiles everything then he knew that he would be influencing Stiles’ decision to take up the position at Columbia University or not. 

Derek understood that Stiles being offered an amazing opportunity at a prestigious university was something that Stiles had always dreamed of; it has been something that the man wanted to happen.  He was willing to wait until the time was right at the university in Beacon Hills but now that such a chance came years before he expected it, even Derek knew how significant such an opportunity was for Stiles.

Ever since his accident, Stiles had sacrificed so much and he had even let Derek go, but somehow the version of Derek that he had been in love with had made it back to him. It had been hard on Stiles but he did committed one of the biggest acts of love and bravery. Now it was Derek’s turn to make that sacrifice. He believed in a saying, **“If you love someone set them free, and if they come back it’s meant to be.”**

He would have to be there for Stiles and support him; give him the space to do what was necessary for him without influence. As much as he believed in his heart that they were meant to be together, time would tell whether he would be right.

If he revealed everything to Stiles, then he wouldn’t be able to stop wondering if by doing so he would be placing the man in a position where he would feel compelled to commit to something that he may no longer be interested in.  Derek did not want to be the roadblock in the way of Stiles taking up the opportunity of a lifetime.

Derek slowly inhaled.

Instead of telling Stiles what he was going to, he decided to tell him something else; still the truth, but a different truth.

“Because it was my fault,” Derek sighed, “If I didn’t stop when we were in the car, then none of this would have happened. I am sorry for putting you in here Stiles.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Stiles answered. “It was a freak accident Derek. How were you to know that a van would knock into us?”

“I couldn’t but...”

“It was not your fault,” Stiles cut-off. “Don’t blame yourself for something that you had no control over Derek. I don’t blame you. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control, and this was one of those times.”

Derek couldn’t see Stiles because of the divider, but he could hear a hint of sadness in the man’s voice.

“Promise me you won’t blame yourself,” Stiles continued.

Derek kept quiet for a moment before answering the man.

“I promise,” Derek said.

“Great,” Stiles said. “Now I am really in need of some sleep, so I will see you in the morning. Sleep tight Derek.”

“You too Stiles.”

Derek sat there in the silence for a few moments, before drinking some water. He reached over to his hospital drawer and pulled out the object that he was looking for. When he retrieved the item, he toyed with it for a while before he finally opened it.

He slowly opened the red box, and saw the engagement ring that he bought for Stiles staring at him.

Derek kept staring at the ring, his heart aching with each moment that he was staring at it.

He and Stiles should’ve been planning their wedding by now, but unfortunately that dream seemed to slipping further and further away from reality. It had been torn away from them.

Derek didn’t realise he was crying, until a teardrop dropped onto the ring.

He quickly wiped his tears, closed the box and placed it away, trying his best to ignore his own thoughts and feelings. He hoped that sleep claim him soon because the sooner he fell asleep, the sooner the heartache he felt would dissipate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I am really sorry for the delay everyone.  
> Admin:  
> 1\. So as you can tell by the chapters I have removed the number of chapters and that is only because I underestimated how many chapters I would need to write to finish off the story. Nothing has changed plot wise, it’s just that I had to stick to 30 Chapters then I would be harming the story because ultimately it would have a conclusion that won’t fit properly. I want this story to end properly and not like it was rushed.  
> 2\. Sorry for the delay, I was finishing up exams, helping with an autism study (which was fun), and catching up on Season 4 of Teen Wolf which made miss Season 2 of Teen Wolf where we had Stiles and Derek scenes with meaning. Also I’m still confused how *spoiler alert* Lydia’s grandmother got to have her own list and factor into the deadpool, and how Derek dying was him “evolving”; also how did it make sense for Danny to miss a whole season and especially not make an appearance at Lacrosse training and games when he was then training in the off season (Season 3b)? And really? The major twist was that Peter came up with the deadpool but he didn’t even know it? Yikes. Plot holes so big you could drive trucks through them, but I digress. Loved Malia as a character, just not with Stiles, her and Kira would have been great. Loved the black gay kid (so cute and funny) he was awesome. Hope the dude playing Brett also comes back because he is sexy! While I may have my qualms with the show, loyal to Teen Wolf I shall remain.
> 
> 3\. I was going to show Stiles and Derek being around their friends and family but then I realised that it was not going to add anything new. It was going to slow down the story and me coming with things that have no significant impact in propelling the story forward.  
> 4\. Derek, Derek, Derek...these two poor souls.  
> 5\. Don’t feel free to comment. I love hearing your thoughts.
> 
> Find me: Enjoying my holidays, or more like my unemployment.
> 
> Title: Torn Apart – Bastille  
> I have broken my own rule of not using repeat artists for the third time now, but honestly I could not resist. Lol. So I really like this song from the new Mixtape/EPs will be releasing on December 8th. I did not like the Bad Blood (this came out 2 months back) but props to the band for experimenting with their sound. It’s something more bands seem to be doing. The Neighbourhood included too. 
> 
> “And it hurts like hell  
> To be torn apart,  
> And it hurts like hell  
> To be thrown around.  
> We were born to be together  
> Torn apart, Torn apart...”


	28. Teenage Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback Time! I hope you guys enjoy it. Apologies for the Errors.

**_ 3 January 2011 _ **

 

“Stiles!” Scott groaned, “Calm down. You’re overanalysing this, and if you keep at it, I’m going to kill you.”

“It’s not like you’re the one going on date with Derek-Frikken-Hale,” Stiles sighed. “Maybe I should just say I got sick?”

“Please make him stop, I won’t be held accountable for what I do if he continues,” Scott said to Allison.

“He’s your brother Scott,” Allison chastised.

“He may be my brother,” Scott replied, “but that does not diminish the urge I have to kill him.”

“Can we please focus on me for a second! I think I feel a panic attack coming on? That’s a good excuse right?” he spewed.

“Stiles,” Allison replied, taking hold of Stiles. “Breathe. Inhale and then exhale.”

Stiles mimicked Allison’s actions.

“Slower,” she added. “Slow deep breaths.”

Stiles tried his best and eventually he could feel that he felt calmer than he did a minute ago.

“Feel better?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he breathed, “somewhat.”

“Good,” she smiled. “What exactly has you falling to pieces?”

“Derek,” Stiles replied. “What if he doesn’t like me and I screw this up?”

“You do know that he kissed you?”

“Yes,” Stiles said. “But what if he realises it was a mistake?”

“Stiles,” Allison began, “I seriously doubt that will happen.  Does Derek seem like the impulsive type to you? He wouldn’t do something unless he really wanted to. He wouldn’t have made out with you for as long as he did on New Years and he wouldn’t have asked you out if he did not want to go out with you.”

Stiles just nodded.  He was about to rebut what she said but a knock on the apartment door interrupted him.

Stiles checked his watch, and saw that it was 18:50. Derek had arrived 10 minutes earlier that what he expected for their date. Allison hinted at him to go open the door and as he took a step closer to the door. It felt like time had especially slowed down, Stiles even felt like his mouth had gone dry and he wasn’t sure if he was still breathing.

Stiles eventually got to the door, took a steadying breath and then opened it. He was taken aback when he saw his date standing on the other side of the door, looking extremely dashing in his smart-casual attire. He wore tight fitting jeans, black shoes and a crisp white shirt that he paired with a formal grey jacket instead of his usual leather black. Stiles didn’t mean to inhale sharply at the sight of the man before him but he couldn’t help it.

Added with the sight of Derek’s gorgeous grin, he knew how delectable and dreamy the man looked.

“Hi,” Derek greeted, the smile on his face reaching his eyes.

“Hel-lo,” Stiles choked out.

The two men just stared at one another after that, neither saying anything except taking in the view of their date.

Stiles was surprised when Derek suddenly took a step forward and had his lips pressed against his. Derek was about to pull back, worried that he done something he shouldn’t have, when Stiles suddenly attacked the man’s lips.

They quickly got swept up into their kiss, forgetting about the rest of the world and only focusing on each other. Stiles was the first to break their kiss, because he could feel his chest begin to ache from the lack of oxygen.

“I’m sorry,” Derek whispered, as they stood in the doorway. “I couldn’t resist. I’ve been thinking about doing that ever since the other night and when I saw you I had this sudden desire to kiss you.”

“Thank you for doing that,” Stiles whispered in return, “I didn’t realise how much I needed it until you did it. I was kinda losing my cool before you got here.”

“Good thing I got here when I did then?”

“You can say that again,” Stiles grinned.

They were reminded that they were not alone when they heard someone clear their throat. They quickly straightened themselves and then went on pretending like they weren’t just making out a few seconds ago.

“Scott, Allison,” Derek greeted once inside.

“Hi Derek,” they smirked. “How are you doing?”

“Good thanks,” he nodded. “Yourselves?”

“We’re doing well,” Scott replied.

“No complaints,” Allison smiled.

“Great,” Derek answered.

There was this awkward formal atmosphere lingering in the air, which Stiles found was quite enjoyable to witness.

“You’re a few minutes earlier than I expected,” Stiles smiled.

“I hope that wasn’t a problem,” Derek replied.

“Certainly not,” Stiles replied, adding on “after that kiss” in his head.

“So shouldn’t you both be on your way,” Allison smiled.

“Uh, yeah,” Stiles muttered.

“Well good night Scott and Allison,” Derek said very formally.

“Good night... Derek,” Scott replied awkwardly.

“Bye guys,” Stiles said, closing the door behind them.

Stiles felt like his mind had started his internal body clock signifying the start of their date, as soon as he had closed the apartment door. He was nervous, and he tried his best to think about their evening ahead, but that was easier said than done.

They had both been so nervous that when they were driving towards their restaurant, the car ride was extremely quiet. The sound of the radio was the only thing that could be heard for the entire ride.

Derek and Stiles would steal glances at each other and smile to themselves, but otherwise they did not say a single word. If it wasn’t apparent that they were nervous before, it was now apparent to both of them.

When they finally arrived at their restaurant, Stiles was surprised by the place because it was particularly high class. Derek gave his car keys to the valet and led the way into the restaurant.

“How did you get a reservation here?” Stiles gaped. “My dad had to wait two months before finally getting a reservation for him and Melissa on their anniversary.”

“The manager is a family friend,” Derek smiled.

“Such are the perks of being a Hale,” Stiles commented.

Derek just cocked his eyebrow at that.

“Hello Derek,” the hostess greeted, as she welcomed them. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen you here.”

“Well I’ve been very busy lately,” he said.

“I’m just glad that you remember where we are,” she flirted. “I was beginning to miss you.”

“I’ll never forget about you,” Derek replied politely.

“Glad to hear that,” she winked.

Stiles couldn’t help but cough loudly, to notify her of his presence.

“Excuse my manners,” she smiled, “I am Malia and you are?”

“Stiles,” he smiled humourlessly. “I’m Derek’s date.”

“Oh,” she smiled, trying to hide her surprise.

“Would you mind showing us to our table please Malia,” Derek answered, not bothering to hide his grin.

“Certainly,” she replied, her fake smile firmly in place.

She led them to their table in the corner where they had a view of everyone. It was the best space in the restaurant actually.

Derek pulled out Stiles’ seat so that the man could sit down.

Stiles appreciated the gesture, because it was very gentlemanly of him, but he had to admit to himself that there was a level of awkwardness that lingered as Derek did it.

Malia left them alone with their menus and returned back to her post.

“Sorry about that,” Stiles apologised.

“Don’t apologise,” Derek said. “I should have spoken up sooner, but I did not want to be impolite. I’m glad you did.”

“Me too,” Stiles grinned. “The look on her face was priceless.”

Stiles soon turned his attention to his menu, and as soon as he did, he nearly had a heart attack.

He could not believe the prices of the meals on the menu, and some of which he did not even know how to pronounce. He was on a student budget so there was no way that he would’ve been able to afford the prices.

Stiles quickly browsed for the cheapest thing on the menu, and he found it on the starters section. He had just enough money on him to pay for his meal, excluding drinks.

When the waiter came around to take down their orders, Stiles ordered his starter and when he asked for a glass of water, he made it explicitly clear that he meant tap water.

“Is that all you’re having,” Derek asked. “You sure you don’t want something else?”

“No no no, I stupidly ate before coming here,” Stiles lied.

“Okay then,” Derek replied, giving his order to the waiter.

The waiter soon left, leaving the two of them to make conversation.

“So,” Stiles started. “How’s things going?”

“Good,” Derek replied. “You?”

“Great,” Stiles nervously replied. “Couldn’t be better. Excellent. Magnificent even.”

“Great,” Derek replied.

“Great,” Stiles repeated.

“You looking forward to starting university again?”

“Uh,” Stiles answered. “Not really. Just the same old, same old.”

“Okay,” Derek replied.

“And you,” Stiles asked. “Clearly Italy was great for your skin because you have a great tan. Anything else you enjoyed while there?”

“The food was amazing,” Derek replied. “And the scenery was wonderful but otherwise it was all good.”

“Good,” Stiles replied.

They soon settled into silence after that, occasionally making comments but about within a minute they would be back to awkward silence.

Stiles’ attention drifted to the rest of the people within the restaurant, and he couldn’t help but feel underdressed. He was dressed in jeans and a buttoned up shirt, and his favourite red hoodie with formal shoes but he still felt underdressed.

Eventually their food and drinks arrived, even throughout eating their meals they were reduced to moments of conversation that quickly faded into awkward silences.

Stiles couldn’t help but stare at his phone, halfway through their meal, and he realised that they had been only an hour into their date. It did not take a rocket science to figure out that there date was going badly. It wasn’t horrific but it wasn’t anything spectacular either.

Stiles couldn’t help but worry that they had put their entire friendship at risk for nothing. He felt like each passing moment of silence was slowly shutting their door on whatever they had going for them.

They had never had moments of silence between each other before, but now on a date it was like the added dynamic had stunted them and now they were left to handle the consequences of their actions; something they thought that they had to build a relationship on, was only a momentary flash in the pan of chemistry.

By the time the bill arrived, Stiles couldn’t help but feel relieved.

As soon as he recognised the emotion, he felt guilty for feeling relief, and he immediately stopped.

Stiles started opening his wallet, having already worked out the price of his meal, and put the money on the table.

“And that?” Derek asked.

“I am paying for my portion of the bill,” Stiles replied.

“I asked you out on the date Stiles,” Derek said. “I thought you knew I was going to be paying for our date.”

“I couldn’t let you do that,” Stiles commented. “Especially now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” Stiles answered. “Just let me pay for my part of bill please Derek.”

“No,” Derek said, paying for the bill and handing it to the waiter.

“Okay then,” Stiles said, placing his money back into his wallet.

They remained very still after that, walking towards the valet service. There was a queue so they just stood there, patiently waiting in silence. Stiles found himself shifting his weight from one leg to another, a habit he had whenever he was waiting or bored.

It wasn’t difficult to notice the stark difference in couples who had a good date, and those who did not. Derek and Stiles definitely fell into the latter group.

Stiles couldn’t help but notice that in the queue, most of other couple was standing close to each other while he and Derek could not even be bother to look at it each other. Their body language spoke volumes, never mind the chilly atmosphere.

Stiles couldn’t help but chuckle at their situation.

“What was that?” Derek asked.

“Nothing,” Stiles smirked.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” he laughed.

“Okay then,” Derek said, letting it go.

Stiles tried to stifle his laughter but it only grew. Soon, Derek caught on and found his smile growing too, except he didn’t know why.

Soon they were both laughing, as they were standing in the queue.

“What was **_that_**?” Stiles asked, unable to stop himself.

“You mean the date?” Derek laughed.

“Yes,” Stiles laughed disbelievingly, “that was soo bad.”

“Thank God,” Derek smiled. “I thought it was just me.”

“It was like we were some people that had just met 10 minutes before,” Stiles chuckled. “That was so awkward.”

“I had no clue what was going on,” Derek replied.

“I was starting to panic there for a second,” Stiles said, “wondering if we didn’t just make the biggest mistake ever by risking our friendship.”

“I started wondering the same thing.”

“Why was that so uncomfortable?”

“I think it’s because we put pressure on ourselves,” Derek said. “And maybe when I kissed you at the start of the night it added more pressure to our night?”

“You know what,” Stiles grinned, “I agree. I blame you and you’re stupid attractiveness because if you were just a normal guy then this would have gone off without a hitch.”

“The same can be said you and your Stiles-ness,” Derek retorted.

“That is not even a word,” Stiles said.

“Exactly,” Derek said. “There is no word I could use to describe how attractive, funny, smart and sometimes even how spastic you are.”

“Perfect is good word,” Stiles remarked. “I’m basically perfect.”

“Will you even be able to fit that ego of yours into the car?” Derek jested. “Cause your ego suddenly just skyrocketed...”

“I’ll be fine,” Stiles laughed.

They couldn’t stop smiling at each other, as they were waiting for the valet to bring their car.

Just then Stiles stomach suddenly gave a loud roar.

“Was that you?”

“Uhm no,” he lied, until his stomach rumbled again.

“You realise this could have been avoided if you had just ordered a proper meal,” Derek laughed.

“Yeah yeah,” Stiles sighed.

“Do you wanna go grab a burger?” Derek grinned.

“Yes!” Stiles near shouted, causing people to look at him. “I am starving!!!”

“Why didn’t you eat at the restaurant?”

“How was I supposed to know that you were going to pay the bill?” Stiles argued. “If I had known then I would have acted like it was a buffet.”

“You’re such a chop,” Derek smiled at Stiles.

“I’m a chop you like,” Stiles winked.

“Yes, you are,” Derek leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Stiles’ lips.

Stiles couldn’t stop himself from blushing underneath’s Derek’s gaze.

They didn’t have to wait much longer after that before they were on their way to the best burger joint in town. Making a deal to take things slow and not to put pressure on themselves, they found themselves feel more relaxed with each other.

When they pulled the car into the parking lot, Derek had barely put switched the car off when Stiles was already out of the car.

“Can I have two double down crunch burgers,” Stiles started. “One with pickles, one without and fries with both and two extra large cokes please...”

“Sure thing,” the teller replied.

“Derek aren’t you going to order?” Stiles asked.

“Uh,” Derek stammered. “It sounded like you ordered for the both of us...”

“It’s like you don’t even know me,” Stiles deadpanned.

“Can I just get extra large fries with a medium sized coke please,” Derek grinned.

“Just that?” Stiles judged.

“Some of us ate at the restaurant we were just at,” Derek commented.

Stiles just laughed at him.

Once they got their meals, they quickly found a booth near a window in the fast food joint.

Derek and Stiles both realised that they had not stopped smiling ever since they had left that stuffy restaurant. They were both feeling more like themselves and that they were able to enjoy themselves on the date.

Derek found himself grinning at Stiles’ reaction to his first bite of his burger.

“Enjoying that burger a little too much Stiles?”

Whatever Stiles’ reply was, it was lost in a mouth full of food. Derek wanted to allow Stiles the enjoyment of his meal in peace, but he soon found the man turning his attention toward him.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Stiles started, after guzzling down half his coke. “How did your feelings for me start?”

“We’re diving right into this then,” Derek smiled.

“I don’t mean to pry, I just want to know.”

“Talk about less pressure,” Derek replied.

“I’m sorry,” Stiles apologised, “You don’t have to answer that.”

“I’m okay Stiles,” he smiled. “To answer you, it was when I realised that you always made me smile, and that you were one of the first people I always wanted to talk to. If it was about something silly or not even important I wanted to message you about it. The fact that you managed to find me a place to live in also gave me time to get to know you better and then with the whole trip to Italy, Laura wanted me to play the field and mess around.”

“It wasn’t until she mentioned how the people I would start speaking to reminded her of you, and that I kept bringing up your name to total strangers was when she made me aware of it.”

“So Laura made you realise that you had feelings for me?”

“Would it be wrong if I said yes,” he answered, going red. “I would have realised my feelings for you ...eventually, she just got me there sooner.”

“Remind me to give her a hug,” Stiles commented, stuffing fries in his mouth.

Derek grinned, happy that Stiles wasn’t offended, “You?”

“Huh?” Stiles muttered, with his mouth full.

“What made you want to take a chance on me?” Derek asked, in a very measured manner.

“I figured, any guy willing to date me must be crazy,” Stiles replied after swallowing, “so what’s the harm in getting to spend some time with a crazy person. At least I get to do my charity work that way...”

“Should I just leave you here?” Derek asked feigning being offended.

“Seriously though,” Stiles said. “I have always had feelings for you, but I never thought I stood a chance. You are caring and you have a softer side to you that you don’t often let people see. You’re funnier than what most people realise, and that you are sexy as hell, oh my shit, and your abs...I could totally use those abs as a grater, totally drool worthy.”

“Thanks.”

“...but,” Stiles continued, “mostly it’s your soul and spirit. You are compassionate and I’ve seen you go to great lengths to make other people happy even though it might come at your own expense. Your work ethic is very inspiring too,” Stiles ended. “You keep surprising me, and I like that about you.”

Derek just stared at Stiles, not feeling the need to say anything.

“What is it?” Stiles asked. “Do I have something in my teeth?”

 “No,” Derek grinned.

“Then what is it?”

“You are so beautiful and you don’t even realise it.”

Stiles couldn’t help but blush at that, he felt very flustered by Derek’s attention. He was nervously glancing at the man before diverting his attention. It was then that Stiles noticed the pamphlet for the fast food restaurant.

He couldn’t help but be reminded of a memorable English lecture that he’d been in.

“You know I learned something interesting in my English lecture,” Stiles started rambling after he felt himself go red, hoping to get the attention away from him. “You see the pamphlet?”

“Yeah,” Derek replied, unsure of where this was going.

“Now you know how they say,” Stiles explained, “‘ _Tastes so good, you’ll involuntarily say, I love you_ ’.”

Derek nodded.

 “Now I discovered that saying ‘I love you’ is actually problematic,” he elaborated, “Because you are actually undercutting the meaning of it.”

“How so?” Derek smiled, aware of what Stiles was doing.

“The subject of the sentence, I, becomes greater than the object of the sentence, you. You are doing something onto someone. The whole purpose of saying “I love you” is because you deem the object of your affection to be very important but grammatically you become of greater significance by being the subject.”

Stiles wondered what he was doing because he was rambling on about “I love you” on the first date with Derek, a guy he had known for years and hoped that their friendship would turn into a proper relationship. He was so worried that he was scaring the man of, but he found his himself breathe a sigh of relief when the man replied.

“So technically it should be ‘You love I’?”

“Well I’m not entirely sure,” Stiles smiled. “It does work grammatically but then meaning of it changes into saying that the person loves you instead of you loving the person.”

“Would adding a comma help?” Derek asked.

“I think it’s in the delivery,” Stiles said after a moment. “So instead it becomes ‘You _,_ love I’.”

“That’s actually very interesting,” Derek answered sincerely.

Derek never thought that he would have been speaking about grammar on a first date, never mind actually enjoying it, but yet he was really enjoying himself and it was all because of Stiles.

They knew so much about each other but it was only once they let go of the pressure they had put on themselves, and let go of the idea of doing things that they thought they should, it was then that they became relaxed and comfortable with each other.

They had been so worried about the romance dynamic that they forgot about the friendship dynamic that they were building on.

Derek had felt that they had finally had the date that they were supposed to, and it could not have been going any better.

“I thought the same thing,” Stiles grinned, looking at Derek.

Derek found himself reaching across the table to touch Stiles’ hand.

Stiles found himself interlocking their hands for a moment before looking into Derek’s eyes.

He could not believe how lucky he was, because he was on a date with a man who cared about him and did not want to just get into his pants. He had realised in that moment that he had found something special.

“You wanna get out of here?” Stiles suddenly asked.

“Where are we going?” Derek asked curiously.

“I don’t know and I don’t care,” Stiles grinned. “As long as it’s with you...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. The quick update was to make up for the two week hiatus.  
> 1\. It felt right to have this flashback here. There’s a bit of a time jump between the previous chapter and the next so this is like a bridge. I think there might be one last flashback chapter left, but I’m not sure.  
> 2\. How adorable were Derek and Stiles though? I loved writing this. It was a lot of fun. I tried to keep it natural, along with silences and awkwardness because it has certainly happened to me. Also Stiles random rambling felt appropriate.  
> 3\. The “I Love You” being technically grammatically incorrect was actually something that I learned at university in my first year. I may have messed up explaining it as I can’t remember the exact order it’s supposed to be in but I do remember that “I Love You” is grammatically incorrect because of the subject carrying more weight than the object of the sentence.  
> 4\. It’s kind of ironic that I commented on grammar when I seriously lack the capability of being grammatically correct. I always felt like grammar in writing is an extension of personality. The excessive use of adjectives and adverbs is from my personality where I over-articulate and over-describe things.  
> 5\. Feel free to comment.
> 
> Find me: www.thelionmutters.tumblr.com
> 
> Title: Teenage Dream – Katy Perry  
> This tune I just such a classic, you can’t help but smile whenever you hear it. Sure radio stations (and Glee) might have killed it with overplaying it, but it’s still such a sweet song. 
> 
> “You make me feel like I’m living a Teenage Dream  
> The way you turn me on,  
> I can’t sleep  
> Let’s run away and don’t ever look back,  
> Don’t ever look back.”


	29. No Light, No Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> : This was fun to write. Your comments inspired me in this chapter. Thanks for the constructive criticism and comments. Apologies for any and all errors.

_“Derek, I can’t do this anymore,” he whispered, breaking through the silence._

_“What?”_

_“I can’t do this anymore,” he said louder._

_“What do you mean Stiles?”_

_“I have constantly been trying my best to make it easy for you,” Stiles started, “putting my feelings and emotions on a shelf so that this whole process could be easier for you. Your wellbeing became so important that it came at my own detriment. This can’t go on...I can’t anymore.”_

**_***_ **

_“Derek,” Stiles retorted, “we have been through so much together. I am not going to lie to you and say that it wasn’t going to be difficult but I would have gotten past it. We would always try to be honest with each other; we both agreed that honesty was important to our friendship.”_

**_***_ **

_“You’re moving to New York?”_

_“Yes,” Stiles answered._

_“Don’t you think it’s a bit excessive?” Derek gasped. “I know we said some really difficult things to hear-”_

_“Derek,” Stiles interrupted, “It is not just about the argument. There is nothing here for me anymore... I have no reason to stay in Beacon Hills... I need to do what’s best for me and leaving Beacon Hills is what’s best.”_

 

Derek shot up, the sound of his breathing hammering against the walls of his room.

It had been the same fragments of arguments and conversation that he’d been reliving over and over ever since he had chosen not to tell Stiles about regaining his memory.

He had been going back and forth between telling Stiles, feeling very conflicted about everything.  It was a lot harder these days knowing what the right to do was ever since the accident; losing his memories and then discovering how he had acted when he regained his memory had had an unexpected affect on him. 

Derek felt a lot less self-assured that what he used to be. He had never known himself to be insecure but having had his identity temporary altered in the way that he had, made him realise that he was going to have to overcome his recently discovered insecurities.

Derek hated being indecisive about his current decision but it was the ramifications of the situation that kept messing with his mind.   

Stiles deserved to know. Derek had no doubt that Stiles deserved to know about his memory situation, and he felt like a liar for not telling the man. He hated that he was betraying Stiles. They had always been honest, and now he was keeping a secret from him.

Derek hadn’t realised how guilty he would feel about it, but he did. And to make matters worse was that Stiles was growing more perceptive to the fact that that something was off. He hadn’t said anything but since leaving the hospital Derek would catch the man giving him the occasional odd glance.

He had seen the look enough times throughout their relationship to know that Stiles could tell that something was up.

He had such guilt that he would build up the nerve to tell Stiles everything, but then every time he got close to telling Stiles bits of sentences from arguments would pop up and then stop him.  

_“...putting my feelings and emotions on a shelf so that this whole process could be easier for you. Your wellbeing became so important that it came at my own detriment...”_

In those moments he would wonder if he was doing the right thing, and whether it was for his benefit and or for Stiles’. It was the other side of the problems that was ultimately the reason why he is keeping secret.

Derek couldn’t help but wonder if he would be stopping Stiles from achieving something great.

Stiles was exceptional at his job, you could see his passion at work every time he got to lecture his class. The amount of time Stiles had spent researching and reading up on things that he thought the students would find engaging was impressive. He was fully committed to his work.

It was really no surprise that Columbia University wanted him.

Besides his impressive lecturing style was the fact that Stiles was also a very talented writer. It was something that Stiles had kept so private that he only revealed it to Derek after they had been dating for a year. The opportunity of being head of the English department at a prestigious university like Columbia would give credit to Stiles and allow him exposure for his writing.

Derek had read up about the previous holders of the position, and at some point every single one of Stiles’ predecessors became published authors; Stiles would benefit immensely from the opportunity in a way that he would not necessary be able to if he remained in Beacon Hills.

Added was bonus of Stiles running an entire English department the way that he wanted. He’d be able to collaborate with other likeminded people and create a department that was not scared of change or innovation.

His most regular complaint was the lack of ingenuity at the university in Beacon Hills. It had been an uphill battle to get his programme up and running, and it wasn’t until the issue became a regular talking point at the Student Representative Council that the English department finally had done something about it.

Beacon Hills was very small fish in the ocean of academics. Going to Columbia would afford him opportunities that Beacon Hills might not.

The man had sacrificed so much for him, and he could not handle stopping Stiles from achieving a career goal, especially after how badly he had hurt the man.  He might have hurt him unintentionally, but he still felt responsible.

 He felt guilty because Stiles deserved more, Stiles deserved better. He did not want to be the roadblock to something that Stiles always wanted.  Stiles deserved all the success and happiness in the world, even if he wasn’t a part of that success and happiness.

He loved the man enough to free him and let him explore better opportunities.

Derek found himself unable to fall back asleep, with the recent recurrent dream still very fresh in his mind. He knew that he needed to clear his mind and think about something else otherwise he would drive himself insane.

He instead got up and decided to go for an early morning walk.

Derek hoped that the morning breeze would give him a reprieve from his thoughts about stiles. He doubted it would, but that did not make him hope any less.

* * *

Derek had just got back from the office, after spending three hours there, and was about to research a client that they had an upcoming campaign for when he heard the door open.

“Hello?” he yelled out.

He got no reply.

“Hello?” he repeated.

Derek became alert when he received no reply, grabbing a nearby baseball bat that always stood in the corner as he slowly made his way towards the front door.

He was nearby the front door when he spotted the intruder, relaxing the bat he had in his hands.

“What?” the intruder said. “You were going to attack your own sister with a baseball bat?”

“Well when she lets me think that she is an intruder then sure I would,” he replied. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I would visit,” Laura Hale smiled. “Am I not allowed to visit my family?”

“Of course,” he replied.

“So are you going to welcome me home or are you just going to stare at me?”

“Nice to see you Laura,” Derek replied giving his sister a hug.

“Likewise Derek,” she said returning the hug.

“How are you doing?”

“Okay Thanks,” he said. “You? How are Jordan and the kids?”

“They are good,” she smiled, “No complaints. They said I should send my love, and the kids want to know that they hope you’re boo-boo heals quickly.”

“Tell them that I miss them and I’m recovering nicely,” Derek said leading the way to the kitchen.

“I will do,” she smiled.

“Do you want anything to eat or drink?”

“I wouldn’t mind some tea,” she replied. “I had something to eat on the way over.”

“Okay,” he said.

“What’s with the mess?” she said indicating the stack of papers on the table.

“Research,” he said.

“For?”

“An upcoming campaign,” he replied.

“What?” she exclaimed. “Aren’t you supposed to be resting?”

“I am,” he said. “I’m only spending a few hours at work, four at most.”

When had been discharged from the hospital, he was instructed to be off work for another two weeks but Derek was soon going stir crazy and started working after three days. It wasn’t anything too exerting but it also kept him preoccupied. It was a welcomed distraction from his current Stiles situation.

“I’m gonna kill Peter,” she replied, shaking her head. “You’re supposed to be resting. You know what happened to Dad.”

“Yes Laura I know,” he replied. “I wouldn’t take on more than I could handle.”

“Promise me Derek,” she said.

“I promise.”

“Good,” she said, as he placed down the tea. “Where’s mom?”

“She is busy with an antique collector at the store,” he replied. “She was studying up on a few of the items in the store because of some high class collector discovered she had something that he had been looking for and so if all goes well then mom’s store could get tons of exposure.”

“Well that’s good,” Laura replied.

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s given her something to do other than stress over me.”

“I can only imagine how exhausting that must be,” Laura smirked.

“She has been extra attentive to me,” he replied.

“Rather you than I,” she said. “Is it as bad as the time Cora landed in the emergency room?”

“Thankfully not as bad...” he laughed. “Mom gave us both the silent treatment for days. She’d be fussing over Cora without saying a word.”

They settled into a silence after that, what Derek had said lingering in the air.

It took Laura and Derek a moment to realise the implication of what Derek had said.

Cora’s accident had been during the time when Derek had lost his memory; there was no way Derek would have known about it if he didn’t have his memory back. Laura would’ve passed over it as him giving her a generic answer but it wasn’t until she noticed the look on his face.

Laura would have not given his remark a second thought if it hadn’t been for the look on her brother’s face.

“You remember?” she uttered, half question, half comment.

Derek could hear his heart beating in his ears. He nodded.

“You remember?” she repeated incredulously. “Since when?”

“Since Stiles and I landed in the hospital,” he answered slowly.

Derek knew well enough that he was about to enter into a tense situation with Laura.

He had just accidentally revealed huge news, and he was going to have to be cautious how he proceeded.

“That’s been just over two weeks?” she said.  “You’ve known about this for two weeks and said nothing?!”

“Stiles had just landed in the hospital because of the accident,” he replied. “I wasn’t going to say anything to take the attention away from him.”

“Derek,” she said. “This is huge news! You have been keeping the fact that you regained your memory a secret for weeks. ”

“It wasn’t like I wanted to do it Laura,” he said. “I was going to tell everyone after I had told Stiles but then I couldn’t...”

“You haven’t told Stiles yet?” she screeched.

“I was going to,” he repeated.

“But?”

“Something came up,” he said.

“Derek,” she seethed, “you better stop being vague or so help me I am going to punch you through the face.”

“I overheard Stiles tell his father about Columbia University still wanting him,” he answered.

“And?” she said. “That can’t be the only reason for not telling him?”

“Laura,” he started, “the position at Columbia University has been Stiles dream. It is his dream job. I don’t want to stand in the way of that. Stiles has sacrificed so much, and he after how badly I ended up hurting him, I wouldn’t be able to handle stopping him from going to Columbia.”

“Derek, yes you hurt Stiles,” she sighed, “but never intentionally. Carrying around past mistakes like a noose around your neck helps no one, especially not yourself. We’ve all made mistakes and no one is perfect, the important thing is that you learn from your mistakes, and the thing that is bugging me in this that apparently you haven’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s like you’re making the same mistake again,” she scolded. “This is like the same thing that happened with Kate, except in that situation Stiles found out about it from the bitch instead of the person that he should have- You.”

“It’s not the same thing,” he said.

“How?” she replied. “You kept the Kate thing from Stiles to protect him and now you’re keeping the memory miracle from Stiles to protect him. You see the common thread?”

“It’s different this time,” he said.

“Why?”

“ _Because I remember everything_ ,” he stated simply.

There was something polarising about the way Derek had said it.

It wasn’t as dramatic as when he told his mother that he remembered anything, or as sudden as when he told Peter.

“I remember how much I love him,” he continued. “I remember how on our first date I knew that he was special, I remember everything about how he makes me laugh, smile and causes goosebumps on my skin. I remember feeling that I would never find anyone better than him ever when we were dancing at Peter’s wedding, and I remembered how I spent months looking for the perfect ring for Stiles for when I proposed because he is epitome of perfection to me, and I needed something pretty damn perfect to show him that.”

“You were gonna propose?” she interrupted.

“I still have the ring,” he said, “and as much as I remember the good stuff. I remember the bad too.”

“I remember the look on his face when we argued about the Kate thing, and how I will never forget the look of heartbreak on Stiles face the next morning when he came back. I remember every single detail of how badly I had hurt him and I know that I never want to put him through that ever again. I love him with every fibre of my being, and I know that I want him to do amazing things in life, even if that means him doing it without me. I love him enough to let him go.”

“I have been keeping the fact that I have regained my memories hidden from Stiles because I don’t want him to feel obligated to stay, and like he has no choice in it,” Derek answered. “Stiles is the type of person who would do something like that, and want him to make a decision for him and not anyone else.”

“But you’re already taking his decision away from him?”

“No,” he defended.

“That is exactly what you are doing,” she argued. “How is Stiles supposed to make the best decision for him when he doesn’t even know the full story? You have both been through so much together.  I just don't understand how you would just let him walk away from you.”

“Because,” Derek started, “he deserves better...”

“Isn’t that for him to decide?” she rebutted. “You both have known each for long and have endured so much, and you’re acting like all of that meant nothing to Stiles. He has suffered so much because he thought his _partner_ didn’t want him anymore. He tried to get over it but then the Kate thing happened and he realised that his _friend_ didn’t care enough to be honest with him, and it _broke_ him. I don’t know how Stiles will react to this but you need to tell him.”

“All I know is that he must still have feelings for you because he was willing to leave a town that he had called home his entire life, to go across the country, so that in time he would get over you. He is still here, and in my opinion that means that there is still a chance for both of you but only if you stop being so stupid. You have to talk it out with Stiles. Derek I know you really love him and you’re trying to do the thing that you think is noble by letting him go because you got it in your head that he can do better. What if he doesn’t want better? What if, he wants you with all your flaws and imperfections? Love is not about finding someone perfect, it’s about finding someone perfect for you.”

“I love what I have with Jordan, he is perfect for me,” she continued. “I have made my fare share of mistakes in our relationship and so has he. No one is infallible and it is in those moments when you really show your love for someone. Not when it is all good and things are going well, it is in the hard times and the difficult time that you are supposed to show your love. It’s easy loving someone in the good times, but the challenge comes in by loving them during the bad. I know you would do that because you were going to propose. You both have been experiencing one fucking bad time after another recently but if there was ever a time to show Stiles how much you loved him, it is now. ”

“You need to be honest with Stiles and tell him the truth,” she said. “I get that you feel guilty about what happened but if you let Stiles go with him thinking that he has no reason to stay then you will be making the biggest mistake of your life.”

“He needs to know the truth,” she concluded. “You said that you love him, you need to prove it by making yourself vulnerable and telling him the truth. He needs to hear the truth from you Derek.”

Derek felt every single word his sister had said hit him like a punch to the gut.

He had nothing to argue against anymore because she was completely right. His reasoning for not telling Stiles about he felt and him regaining his memory, had now felt...hollow in light of what Laura had to say.

He was about to make an even bigger mistake if it wasn’t for Laura; it might have already been too late to make things right, but he knew that while Stiles was still in town he had to try.

As nervous and as he was to talk to Stiles, he would have to do it because he needed to be honest with Stiles. He did love Stiles, and part of being in love with someone was being honest with them even when that honesty could cause damage.

He needed to tell Stiles the truth, because the man had every right to know it. Derek had to walk the walk. He had to show that he loves Stiles and not just talk about it.

Maybe even in doing so he’d feel more like the man he used to be instead of the person the accident had made him into.

Derek glanced at his sister who was visibly hyped up on adrenaline from their heated argument.

“You’re doing this right?” she asked after a moment. “You’re telling him?”

He nodded.

“Stiles deserves the truth,” Derek said. “As difficult as it may be, I need to be honest with him. You helped me see that I love him too much not to be honest with him.”

“That’s a relief,” she sighed. “I thought I was going to have to beat you up and drag you to his place.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” he joked. “I’ve seen enough of the hospital for a lifetime.”

“Good,” she smirked, nudging him in the ribs.

“Why am I so blind when it comes to this?” he said seriously. “I should have told Stiles regardless...”

“Because you’re in love,” she said. “You cannot be rational when you’re in love, because love is not rational. When you love someone your judgement becomes clouded and the decisions you make are done with them in mind. You want to do things for them that will make things easier on them, not harder. It’s why it’s important to have someone to talk to on the outside because they see things in a way that you don’t.”

“Listen,” she continued, “it won’t be all easy from here on out but I just want what’s best for my little brother. Life and love is messy enough, you don’t need to self-sabotage yourself okay? Stop getting in your own head too much.”

He nodded.

“Now give your sister a hug,” she smiled.

He moved closer, and enveloped her in a hug.

“Thank you,” he said. “Talking to you helped.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she smiled. “Whenever you need me, I’m just a phone call away.”

Derek felt better about the situation with Stiles then he had in the past two weeks and he knew that he needed to make it right, and more than that, he needed to make it right today. He had waited long enough.

 It was time that he told Stiles the truth, no matter the outcome. 

* * *

 

“How are things going at the clinic?”

“Going well,” Scott answered. “The interns are cool. Of course Isaac is not impressed, he is more annoyed than anything.”

“Few things impress Isaac,” Stiles replied.

“This one intern, Liam, is very impressive because he picks up stuff very quickly but naturally Isaac is reluctant to give the guy his due.”

“Well you can only deny someone being good for so long,” Stiles laughed. “I think given enough time he’ll win Isaac over.”

“I hope so,” Scott laughed.

“Otherwise,” Stiles asked, “everything else okay?”

“Sure,” Scott replied, “Uhm...Actually not.”

“Why?” Stiles asked, his concern apparent.

“Have you figured out what we’re getting your dad for his birthday?”

“I already know what I’m getting him,” Stiles laughed, visually relaxing, “I don’t know what you mean by ‘we’?”

“Stiles you know how I struggle to get gifts,” Scott argued. “And I was thinking that since it’s his 50th we could get him something special together.”

“Well we have two more weeks to decide,” Stiles replied.

“So will you help me?”

“Yes,” Stiles sighed. “What you would do without me? I wonder how Allison copes...poor woman.”

Stiles suddenly felt the impact of pillow that Scott launched at him.

“Shut up,” Scott retorted. “At least I have someone....”

Scott’s smile had quickly vanished when he realised what he had said, and spotted the look on Stiles’ face.

“I am so sorry Stiles,” he hastily apologised. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s fine,” Stiles deflected. “I know you didn’t mean it badly.”

“You sure,” Scott continued. “I just wasn’t thinking and so I said something hastily.”

“It’s fine Scott,” Stiles shrugged. “I can take a joke you know...”

“Again I am sorry,” his brother apologised.

“It’s all good,” Stiles smiled. “Do you want a glass of water? I’m feeling thirsty.”

“Uhm, sure,” Scott said.

Stiles moved from the sofa to the kitchen, went directly to the refrigerator and retrieved the huge jug of water that the kept in the fridge. Scott was distracted by something on the TV so he was unaware the Stiles had bypassed the cabinet with the glasses in it and was moving towards him. Stiles then removed the lid before dumping the entire jug of water on Scott.

 It had all happened so fast that by the time Scott had realised what was happening he had already had three-quarters of the water poured all over him.

“Now we’re perfect,” Stiles grinned. “You dumbass...”

“I admit,” Scott spluttered as the water was running down his face, “that I did deserve that.”

“Of course you did,” Stiles grinned. “I can’t believe you said that.”

“Me too,” Scott said.

“You should glad that it was just water and nothing else,” Stiles said.

“I really am sorry Stiles,” his brother sincerely said.

“I know,” Stiles answered. “And it’s all good now, I got my revenge.”

“Clearly,” Scott laughed, taking stock of how drenched he was. “I’m going to change quickly.”

“You do that,” Stiles smiled. “I’ll make us something to eat.”

Scott went into the guest the bedroom that he been staying in for the past week ever since Stiles had been discharged from the hospital.

Stiles appreciated having his brother with him because it felt like they were back to the years of them living together while studying. When Stiles got out of the hospital would have been fine living by himself but his father had decided that either Scott stay with him or he move back to the house.

Stiles initially would have stayed with his father but Derek had made the argument that since it had been Stiles’ place first, and was still in his name, it was only fair that he get to be at the apartment. Derek had then moved in with his mother.

Stiles had not anticipated how hard it would hit him that Derek was no longer living in their place.

It was temporary, but it still had affected Stiles. The man had been reluctant to change anything in the apartment, and he wasn’t sure that it was a good thing or not. It was difficult for him but he was keeping it together.

He had been trying his best to manage his feelings and it was not easy. He knew that he was still in love with the man, and he was trying his best to nurse his broken heart but he wasn’t even sure that he wanted to get over it.

Stiles realised how lame it was that he didn’t want to get over a broken heart, but the heartache he felt was proof of how much love had been in their relationship. He feared that if he got over that heartbreak then their relationship would have not meant as much, and that the love that they had would have officially been over.

As he came out of his daze, refocusing his eyes and spotting the photo from Peter’s wedding, he realised that he had a tear running down his cheek.

Stiles quickly wiped the tear away and preoccupied his mind. He cleaned up the excess water from the sofa and then went into the kitchen to make food for his brother and himself.

Scott came out of his room a few minutes later, preoccupied by his phone.

“I didn’t damage your phone did I?” Stiles suddenly panicked.

“No,” Scott replied. “I had left it in the room to recharge.”

“Okay,” Stiles sighed. “I was going to make us something to eat but I am in the mood for pizza instead. Sounds like a plan?”

“I would love to stay but I just got a text from Allison asking I could come over,” Scott replied. “I don’t mean to bail on you my brother but my wife needs me.”

“Oh okay,” Stiles replied. “Of course you have to go.”

“I could stay if you really need me,” Scott stated.

“And have you wife be mad at me that I’m kidnapping her husband?” Stiles answered. “No thanks, you wife scares me and she is literally badass enough to kill me so you better go.”

“Thanks,” Scott grinned excitedly. “She is pretty spectacular hey?”

“Yes,” Stiles laughed, “I really don’t know how you landed her.”

“I wonder that too sometimes...”

Stiles could see the pure adoration and love on Scott’s face. He loved Allison and it was clear as day on his face.

“...anyway,” he continued. “I’ll be back later but I still want leftover pizza so you better leave me some.”

“I don’t know hey,” Stiles teased. “I may just attempt to break your record of eating two whole pizzas by myself.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Scott gaped.

“Don’t underestimate me McCall,” Stiles replied. “Remember the last time that happened?”

“Well will not speak of Chilli-Gate-2009 ever again,” Scott said.

“Yeah,” Stiles laughed. “I’m still sure the chilli burn of defeat still hurts hey...”

“I’m going to go now,” Scott answered, shaking his head at his brother taunting him. “Have fun by yourself.”

“I will,” Stiles laughed.

“Seriously though,” Scott said making his way to the door. “If you need anything then call me okay?”

“I’ll be fine Scott,” Stiles grinned. “You don’t have to worry about me. Our dad does that enough for the both of us...”

“True,” Scott said. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Stiles said closing the door.

Stiles had just finished calling the pizza delivery services when he heard a knock on the door.

He noticed that the spares keys were still hanging from the rail so he assumed that it was Scott who had come back for them.

“I’m impressed,” Stiles said opening the door. “It only took you a few minutes to realise you left-”

“Hi Stiles,” Derek greeted.

“Derek,” Stiles swallowed, feeling his heart pick up speed.

“Do you mind I come inside?” he asked. “I have something I need to tell you and it can’t wait...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter.   
> 1\. As you can tell by ending they are about to have the talk. The next chapter will pick up at that spot. I have not written it yet so it won’t be posted quickly but it should be with the next 7 days.  
> 2\. Thanks to BlondeFairy85 for your comment on Chapter 27, it was insightful and it actually helped me come up with bits for this chapter. Again I must say that is why I love comments because reading other people’s perspectives can illuminate things for me in a way that I may oblivious to. This story was actually a one shot if you remember, and it wasn’t until someone said “Here is untapped potential and I would love to know more” that I was inspired to continue this story. So thank you to that commenter. Sure some may see it like I don’t have a handle on the story but to that I say is that the story is going how I always pictured it. Sure we took a few detours on the like the hospital thing but it added a dynamic to the story which enriched these characters. And If I was pandering to the readers, I wouldn’t have included the flashbacks. But anyway, I just wanted to know that I appreciate and consider your comments because I understand that you took time to write them when you could have just closed the tab.  
> 3\. “You cannot be rational when you’re in love, because love is not rational” I love this line. It’s one of my favourites from this chapter and there are many). I realise that sound self involved like I’m praising myself, and I apologise, it’s just that there are so many truths in here that I have pulled from my personal life from my own past relationship, but more so from my friends because I am always the third party to give advice and I love it. This particular line came from a discussion I had with my best friend’s girlfriend a few years back. I had not had my first relationship then, and I asked. “How can you be rational when it comes to dating someone? That is one of my worries when I get into a relationship.” And she said that, “You cannot be rational, it’s just not how love or dating works because you develop feelings for someone and those feelings impact how you think.” To this day, I remember all of this from memory because what she said just stuck with me, or it may be my selective serial killer memory as I call it, but either way she was right. I am not a 100% sure but I’m also sure some iteration of that line was said by a famous dead person. In retrospect it sounds familiar...oh well.
> 
> Title: No Light, No Light – Florence and the Machine
> 
> Flo and the machine are just perfection. The staccato tone that she has to her voice is not everyone’s cup of tea but I love it. Florence and The Machine are amazing. The voice on her is amazing. The note she holds on Cosmic Love is magnificent and the music is just so great. Heavy in Your Arms is another favourite of mine.


	30. I Can't Make You Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy. Derek does most of the talking here. It might be unsual for some but to me, it made perfect sense as to why.

Derek felt his phone vibrate.

Laura _: I just wanted to wish you well._

_I can only imagine how you must be feeling._

Derek _: I don’t even know._

Laura _: Having any second thoughts?_

Derek: _No. Just really nervous I think._

Laura: _Well that’s understandable. Take a deep breath._

_I can’t promise that it will all be well,_

_but just know I’ll be here afterward._

Derek: _Thanks._

Laura _: We can hang out then if you want?_

Derek _:  I’ll definitely take you up on that._

Laura: _Great. I love you little brother._ <3

Derek: _Thanks Laura. You too._

 

Derek felt his palms grow sweatier than they already were, and the knots in his stomach tightened with each passing moment.

Derek took a deep breath, like Laura instructed, and then he took another because the first wasn’t enough, before he got out of the car and made his way towards the apartment.

With every step he took, he felt his legs grow heavier as he got closer to Stiles.

Derek finally got to the apartment, where he stood at the door for a minute before he finally knocked on it. He heard Stiles’ voice mumble behind the door, but he couldn’t be sure what he had said because all Derek could hear was the sound of his own heart beating in his ears.

When Stiles opened the door, Derek immediately noticed how beautiful the man was.

He realised in that moment that he had grown no less impervious to the man’s beauty. Stiles had just answered the door like it was no big thing and in doing so he had let his guard down. Derek noticed the fleeting carefree expression that Stiles had shown, and it was lovely; it was ultimately Stiles’ unguarded nature which had caught Derek’s attention. 

“Hi Stiles,” Derek greeted.

“Derek,” Stiles swallowed, feeling his pulse pick up speed.

“Do you mind I come inside?” he asked. “I have something I need to tell you and it can’t wait...”

“Is everything okay?” Stiles asked, noticing the look on Derek’s face.

“Uh, yeah,” he replied. “It’s nothing bad... or it might be.”

“Okay,” Stiles replied, his voice sounding unsure.

“Everything will make sense after I explain,” he replied.

“In that case,” Stiles said, stepping aside, “come inside then.”

“Thanks,” Derek replied walking inside.

Derek couldn’t help but feel like he had returned home; there was something about the place that had made him feel very comfortable. All the memories of love, laughter and joy that had been experienced in the space surrounded him.

When he turned around to regard Stiles, he was standing in the lounge of the apartment.

“Sorry for just barging in,” Derek apologised once Stiles had closed the door.

“It’s okay, I know you wouldn’t have come all this way if it wasn’t important,” Stiles said, the brace on his leg making him walk slower.

“How’s the leg?” Derek asked.

“Oh this,” Stiles said, looking down at his right leg. “It’s fine, I’m glad the cast is off but I have to wear the brace for a few more days still. It makes moving a little difficult but for the most part I’m moving normally.”

“Good,” Derek replied, leaving a hint of awkwardness.

“Uh,” Stiles uttered. “Do you want something to eat or drink?”

“I wouldn’t mind some water if you don’t mind,” he said.

Stiles retrieved a glass of water and handed it to him.

“I’m sorry there’s no ice water, it got spilled,” he stated, smiling absently. “It was Scott’s fault.”

“This will be fine thanks,” he said. “Where is Scott?”

“He had to leave,” Stiles replied, “Allison needed him. You just missed him actually.”

“Okay,” he said. “Cool.”

There was a moment of silence after Derek had spoke, and it had started stretching with both of them looking at each other but not saying anything.

Derek knew what he was doing; he had been making small talk, delaying the inevitable. He knew he was going to do it; he was just delaying the inevitable moment because then everything would change. He had no clue if things would change for the better or worst but he knew that things would change regardless.

He also understood that no matter what he was about to say, he was doing the right thing. Laura had made him aware of that, but that did not alleviate the stress he had over doing it.

“So you wanted to talk to me,” Stiles finally asked when the silence became unbearable.

“Uhm yeah,” Derek started, “Stiles, I have something important to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“Would you mind sitting down,” Derek asked.

“Oh...sure.”

Stiles moved to the sofa, sitting down.

Derek opened his mouth but no words were coming out. He closed his mouth and tried again but still nothing came out.

He took a big gulp of water, hoping it would help.

“Derek, what is it?” asked Stiles, seemingly worried.

 Derek didn't know what was happening, he knew what he was supposed to be saying but he was getting choked up. He stopped himself and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. As he did so he spotted something out of the corner of his eye.

Derek walked over and took hold of the photo that he had been his anchor when he had remembered everything. He grasped it and held the framed photo tightly in his hands. He took a deep breath and realised that if he was going to get through what he had to do, he would have to take his time and go slow.

He would have to start with the simplest truth.

“I love you,” he finally said.

“What?” Stiles said.

“I love you.”

“Derek what did you just say?”

“ _I am in love with you Stiles_.”

Stiles couldn’t believe what he had heard. He almost didn’t if it not been for the fact that he saw Derek’s lips move as the man repeated himself for a second and third time. Stiles had no clue what was happening and he was not entirely sure where this was going, but if one thing was certain, he was certainly captivated and intrigued.

Derek moved to sit down on the table in front of Stiles as the man sat on the couch.

“I am in love with you,” Derek repeated, glancing from the photo to Stiles, “and I know this because _I remember everything.._. I got my memory back.”

Derek feared that Stiles had stopped breathing, and if it hadn’t been for Stiles’ chest visibly moving he would have thought that Stiles had indeed stopped.

Derek waited for some type of reaction from the man, but it was clear that Stiles was in shock, and that he was still taking everything in, so he continued talking.

“All the moments of love that you and I shared, like this day,” he continued, showing Stiles the photo in his hand. “I remember how nervous we both were as we were dancing together. You had been enduring a tedious conversation with one girl and when I interrupted, you were so surprised that I was asking you to dance.”

“You started ranting about her as we were dancing together, which I loved because it brought out your ferocious side,” Derek smiled at the memory, “and then you got flustered because I complimented you.”

“Everyone was staring at us as we were dancing but none of that mattered,” he said. “I was dancing with the most beautiful man the room. I wanted to kiss you so badly, and then when I did, it was...amazing. That moment was our little infinity-You and me together without a worry in the world. I could have stayed like that with you forever.”

Derek had felt so nervous while talking that he had taken to staring at the photo in his hands, reliving the memory as he spoke about it. He chanced a glance at Stiles, and saw that the man was staring at the picture too, reflecting on how he felt on the day too.

“I remember all the moments when we intimately touched each other,” he stated. “I loved how every intimate caress of your skin brought you pleasure, leaving behind goosebumps, but more so how you were the only person who could make my skin feel like it was on fire, and leave me wanting more.”

“The very first Monday after I had moved in and you welcome me home with nothing but a smile on your face, standing completely naked before me. I couldn’t help but be speechless because all I could think was how devastatingly handsome you were. I think the first words out of my mouth were: ‘I love you’,” Derek elaborated, as he felt his pants tighten at the memory.

Stiles was listening intently to Derek, recalling his brazenness at welcoming Derek home by being completely naked. He couldn’t help but feel his own pants tighten as he remembered how hot and sexy it was when they had had started making love seconds later.

Stiles hoped that he wasn’t blushing because he was feeling himself go red.

“All the moments that we laughed and cried together,” Derek continued, “which are too many to mention, but I remember each and every single one of them with clarity.”

Derek felt like he had been slowly placing all the evidence before Stiles, like a lawyer before a judge and jury, pleading his case to show the man he loved that he had regained his memory.

“I am happily and fully in love with you. You are often the reason why I smile or laugh every day. You make my heart race whenever we kiss; turning something as important as breathing into something inconsequential all because I’m with you- you fill my lungs with love, and every time I kiss you I become intoxicated. You don’t take offence when I become quiet and when I don’t speak up because you understand that that is how I process things. “I Love You”, is a phrase that is used so regularly, and yet it is the thing that I repeatedly want to say most. Instead I am going to say: You, Stiles, love _I_. You taught me that on our very first date and to this day I remember it because that day was the day I knew my life would change for the better, all because of **you**.”

The tears had started falling down Derek’s face as he had been speaking because he was experiencing all of the feelings and memories that he was speaking of.  He had been steadily making himself vulnerable and revealing his heart to the only person he could ever fully trust with it. Derek was unable able to do that with any other person, even Laura, but this was Stiles. Stiles mattered the most and he didn’t have to fill some role with Stiles. Derek could be flawed and vulnerable instead of stoic and unaffected.

He had been surprised by his ability to continue speaking steadily even as the tears had started, but he knew that he was able to speak about how he felt all because of Stiles.

Derek reached into his pocket, and pulled out the object within it.

Derek felt himself grow brave and reached out to grasp Stiles’ hand, looking up at the man he loved and seeing his tears on his face too. He hadn’t realised how sweaty his hands had been until he had touched Stiles.

Derek slowly turned Stiles’ hand so that the man’s palm was facing upwards as he placed the red box in it. Derek could see the shock and realisation set in on Stiles’ face when the man realised what had been placed in his hand.

“Is that a...” Stiles said as his breath momentarily hitched.

“Yes,” Derek said. “I was going to propose the weekend of my accident.”

The tears that had just stopped on Stiles face had started rolling again.

His hand felt heavy with the red box in it, and it hadn’t been for Derek’s hand holding his, Stiles was certain that he would have dropped the box. He could do nothing except stare that the box.

Stiles felt like a brick had sunk into his stomach.

“For all the moments that we have been fortunate to share together,” said Derek as he stared directly at Stiles. “It is all of this and many of the others things you do that make me love you as deeply as I do...”

 “ _BUT_ ,” Derek emphasised, “my feelings for you aside, I understand the difficulty our current situation presents us with. Things are so complicated because of everything that has happened over the past few months and now you also have a decision about Columbia University.”

“I was going to tell you everything before now,” Derek said. “I was going to tell you the truth at the hospital but then I heard about Columbia University still wanting you and I stopped myself from telling you because of I know that the position at Columbia University is something that you’ve always wanted.”

“It’s your dream job,” Derek stated, “and I know that it was something you wanted to happen. I didn’t tell you about my memory sooner because I didn’t want to stand in the way of that. You sacrificed so much, and he after how badly I ended up hurting you, I wouldn’t be okay with being a hindrance to you going to Columbia.”

Derek absentmindedly was stroking the back of Stiles’ hand as he spoke. He took a breath and steadied himself before he continued.

“Laura helped me realise that I had to tell you the truth,” he continued. “Not telling you would be unfair to you because you deserve to know the truth. I would have inadvertently been affecting your decision to go because you would not have known everything before making a decision that is best for you.”

“It would be presumptuous of me to assume that everything would be all amazing just because I got my memory back, and we would go on as if nothing happens, but doing so would be an injustice to what you have been put through. I am just telling you all of this because you have a very important decision to make, and you need to have all the facts before you do.”

“I remember the argument we had the night you found out about Kate,” Derek recalled, “and that night you reminded me that we have been through so much together, and that in our friendship we had always try to be honest with each other. We both agreed that honesty was important to our friendship.”

“You were right,” Derek said. “I was blinded by my feelings to protect you that I didn’t want to interfere with you taking a job that you have dreamed off but then I would have not been honest with you. I want you to make the best decision for you, and if that is going off to New York then I will support you Stiles.”

“You have to do what is best for you,” Derek concluded, “whatever that may be.”

Stiles had felt like he was experiencing some weird déjà vu, and like he was back in the hospital cafeteria telling Derek how he felt except this time around the roles were reversed.

Stiles had no clue how he felt because he had just been told something that he had believed to have been impossible. Derek had feelings for him, and he had gotten back his memory. It had been something that Stiles had dreamed of for the past few months.

He knew that he was in love with the man, but he had been so focused on getting over those feelings that now hearing Derek’s confession had just jumbled up everything. The man had even revealed to him the fact that he was going to propose.

It was a lot to take in for Stiles.

Now that it happened, especially given the added wrinkle of the offer from Columbia University, it had presented Stiles with a situation he hadn’t expected. His mind had been resolved to going and he was only waiting for when he had recovered fully before he went but now... he wasn’t so sure.

He had no clue what he was going to do, and he was surprised by himself. He had thought that when Derek would have his memories back it would have been easier to start over again and pick up where they left off, but it wasn’t.

Derek had changed because of his accident, and Stiles had changed because of how the outcome of that accident had effect him. They had both gone through so much and Stiles had also almost died recently. Everything that had happened had to them had an unpredictable and unexpected on them both.  Stiles had no clue what would happen next but he knew that he had a huge decision that he had to make.

 Stiles looked at Derek, and then down at the hand that Derek held, with the red box still firmly in his hand.

Derek noticed Stiles’ eyes moving from him to their joined hands, and he slowly released their hands once he realised what he had been doing.

Stiles thought he was about to drop it, but he found himself hold on tightly onto the red box.

“I’m sorry,” Derek said.

He quickly downed the rest of his water, wishing it had been something stronger.

“It’s okay,” Stiles swallowed, his mouth feeling dry.   

“I didn’t mean to spring that all on you,” Derek said, rubbing his neck.

“It’s okay Derek,” Stiles said, looking at the red box. “There was no easy way to do that. I know from experience.”

Derek immediately remembered the time in the hospital that Stiles was likely referring to.

“Thanks,” Derek pursed.

No one said anything after that; the silence lingered, settling on them.

Both men glanced at each other, the box in Stiles’ hand and back at each other; having many thoughts going through their minds but unsure what to say to each other.

“I uhm,” Derek started, uncertain of himself. “I’m going to go. Give you some time...”

“Are you sure?”

“Uhm no,” Derek smiled, “but we both need to take a break to get out wits together.”

Stiles could tell that Derek had not thought about the moment after telling him everything because he appeared somewhat lost. If Stiles was being honest, he felt equally as lost and dazed as what Derek seemed.

“Okay then,” Stiles said.

Derek started making his way to the door, still clutching the photo in his hand.

“I think this belongs here,” Derek said handing over the photo.

“You can hold onto it if you want,” Stiles said.

“I have one in my office,” Derek said.

“I forgot about that one,” Stiles smiled.

“Yeah,” Derek said, saying something for the sake of saying something.

Their hands momentary touching as he handed over the framed photo. Stiles looked down at the photograph, seeing the tear stains still on it, slowly drying up.

Derek was about to go when he regarded Stiles for the last time.

“Stiles,” Derek said momentarily seriously, “take your time figuring things out, and when you do you can let me know. I want you to think about everything but you have to do what’s best for you so please promise me that you will.”

“I promise,” Stiles said. “And the ring?”

“Hold onto it for the time being,” Derek said. “It’s a symbol of my love so I want you to hold onto it. You will know what to do with it when the moment comes.”

Derek took a moment, contemplating whether he was going to do what he wanted or not.

He quickly decided, and then committed.

Derek slowly leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on Stiles’ cheek. He let the kiss linger for a second before he pulled away.

“Good bye Stiles,” Derek smiled.

“Good bye Derek,” Stiles said returning the smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. *deep breathe*  
> 2\. I hope you enjoyed that.  
> 3\. I have settled on the chapter numbers. May be one over or under.  
> 4\. I don’t have much else to say after that. Well I do, but I feel like this chapter just allowed you to know me better.
> 
> Title: I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bon Iver – Original Bonnie Raitt
> 
> This song is pure perfection. I only discovered of Bon Iver after they won a Grammy causing an upset in the Best New Artist category a few years back. So then I decided to Youtube some stuff, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I love “Lost in the Woods” which was remixed by Kanye West into “Lost in the World” and then the lead singer Justin Vernon actually performed it with Kanye together at the Coachella music festival and the live performance was a blast. I love the original and the remix. But the song for this Chapter just stuck out for me so I was glad that I got to use it. Such a tune.


	31. Only Exception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any and all errors.

The first night after everything had happened Stiles had spent of night twisting and turning- unable to sleep. He’d manage to sleep for bit when suddenly he’d be wide awake again with thoughts of Derek and Columbia University plaguing him.

That night Stiles ended up sitting in bed just staring at the red box, which he had been scared to open, fearing something would jump out at him. He knew he was being unreasonable and that none of that nonsense would happen but he was still reluctant to open the red box.

He had been in shock then came of the feelings of feeling confusion, pangs of happiness, sadness and frustration when he thought over the situation he was in.

He couldn’t help but think of how he had been rooted to the spot seconds after Derek left, staring at the red box in his hands.  Everything that Derek had said began falling into place for him as he stood there; like pieces of a puzzle he jigsaw puzzle he had finally been able to figure out.

Derek loved him...not just loved but was in love with him.

When Stiles had come out of his daze, he had impulsively chased after the man, only to be stopped by the cold evening air when he got outside; forced to think about what had happened. It was then that he had realised that Derek had been right about him needing time to figure things out.

Stiles hadn’t realised it but, as soon as his mind started processing everything he had started realising that he had a big pit of doubt sitting in his stomach.

Derek had bared his soul to Stiles, in a way that Stiles had never witnessed before.  The Derek he had dated had always been honest about his feelings with Stiles, it was why they had had such a strong foundation in their relationship because they had been open and communicated with one another.

The ways things had developed over the past few months had left Stiles with doubt that going forward about what was awaiting him with Derek. Derek had become secretive and closed off and become someone Stiles never remembered him being.

Stiles knew that Derek loved him, and he didn’t doubt it but he felt very conflicted, because his mind kept asking, “What if that Derek was really how he would be from now onwards?”

Added, was the offer from Columbia University in New York as well... his dream job.

Stiles would have given up the job a moment’s thought, if it wasn’t for his worry and doubts about their stability. They had experiences car crashes, near deaths, betrayals, festering secrets and a relationship that gone from perfect to shattered in one day.

It had been an emotional rollercoaster that had been exhausting and draining and Stiles didn’t know if he could endure any longer. He had thought that their love would have survived but nothing in life was certain.

The second night, as if thinking about it for the entire day had not been his enough. His subconscious had decided to get involved too. Stiles would have dreams about Derek, but whatever happened in the dreams he would forget except that Derek had been in them. He had found that most infuriating.

It’s one thing having a dream about Derek, it’s another not knowing what the hell was going on in them. He would have let the issue go but it had started happening when he had been napping and on twice third night after Derek’s confession.

“I’ve been having weird dreams lately,” Stiles said to Lydia on the third day over coffee, “and the frustrating thing I can’t remember a single one of them.”

“Has it been one dream over and over?”

“I’m not sure,” Stiles said. “I think it’s one dream but they I can’t seem to remember what’s happening in it. I just end up waking from them feeling sad and one time I was crying but I don’t know why.”

“They must be very vivid and realistic then,” Lydia replied, “to have caused such a potent reaction.”

“Yeah,” Stiles sighed.

“Other than a weird dream, has everything been okay? Something seems up with you?”

“Yeah,” Stiles nodded. “I’m fine, and is there? I didn’t notice.”

“Really? Nothing interesting happened while I’ve been away?”

“Nothing really,” Stiles lied.

“Really?” she glared. “Not even one tiny thing?”

“Nope,” he lied.

Stiles hadn’t told anyone what had happened because he had wanted time to figure things out for himself without everyone else knowing what had happened. Stiles wanted to come to the decision on his terms and without influence.

He had been keeping everything to himself, having decided that everyone will find out the necessary information after he has spoken to Derek; which after his current state of confusion could be in 2022.

Stiles had not spoken to or seen Derek during the entire time, not that it had made any difference because he had been thinking about the man every day. Lydia had invited him out but he had declined and told her that it was because he knew that he would likely end up drinking a lot and he wasn’t ready to test out his new liver to such an extent yet.

It was a weak excuse, but he didn’t want to tell her that he wasn’t in the mood for people and that his mind would be occupied with other thoughts; it would only make her more hard-pressed to find out what was bothering him.

Stiles was readying himself to turn in on the fourth night, but before he did, he found himself drawn towards the photo that Derek had used when he had spoken to Stiles.

So much had changed from the day the photo had been taken.

Stiles quickly placed down the photo when he heard a knock on the door.

He went towards the door was surprised to see Scott and Derek standing there. More specifically, Derek holding onto Scott.

“Derek?” Stiles muttered. “What are you doing here?”

“Scott ended up unintentionally getting drunk at Lydia’s party,” he smiled, carrying the man in and placing him down on the sofa.

“What?” Stiles smiled. “How did that happen? He’s usually more responsible about such things.”

“He did the same thing you did actually,” Derek smiled. “He thought he was drinking cold drink but it was laced with vodka.”

“I forgot to warn him that he wouldn’t be able to taste anything for a while after going to the dentist,” Stiles replied.

“We realised what was happening too late,” Derek answered. “They wanted to call you but I offered to drive him home instead.”

“Thank you for doing that Derek,” Stiles replied. “Allison is visiting her grandparents for the weekend and she had asked Lydia to make sure that Scott had some time out with friends...looks like it was quite the time.”

“Well no harm no foul,” Derek replied. “Though, I have to admit that my reasons for doing this weren’t entirely selfless...”

There was a small pause after Derek had finished speaking before he continued tentatively, “How have you been doing?”

“I’m good,” he pursed, before adding. “Well given everything I’m good.”

 “Good,” Derek nodded. “I was worried that something was wrong when I didn’t see you tonight.”

“I just wasn’t in the partying mood,” Stiles replied.

“I understand,” Derek replied. “I wasn’t in the mood either until Cora dragged me along.”

“Typical Cora,” Stiles smiled.

“Yeah,” Derek smiled, shifting slightly.

They stared into each other’s eyes a moment after that, seeing so much in each other’s eyes.

“Well I,” Derek uttered after a moment, “gotta be on my way.”

“You okay to get home?” Stiles asked.

“Isaac was following me in his car and he’s dropping me at home,” Derek replied.

“Good,” Stiles said.

Derek turned to go for the door, but stopped just as he opened the door, unable to stop himself from saying something.

“Whatever happens with us,” Derek said turning to Stiles, “it will all be okay in the end. You have the fighting spirit in you Stiles to survive anything. You’ll be okay.”

Stiles looked up at Derek, seeing the sadness in the man’s eyes.

Stiles felt a slight stinging in his eyes. He just nodded at the man, unable to find his voice.

There was something about Derek’s words that lingered in Stiles’ head.

He had heard it somewhere before but he couldn’t figure out where, and it was bugging him.

He bid Derek farewell, and decided to leave Scott on the couch as he went to bed.

Stiles entered his room, and opened his drawer where the two boxes, red and black, each with a ring in them sat beside each other. In what had become a ritual, he took out both rings and placed them beside each other as he stared at the boxes.

Stiles, feeling himself brave enough, took a hold of the small red box, and opened to reveal a ring inside it with a note. Stiles slowly opened the note, and smiled when he read its contents; “It took me a while but I found the platinum wedding band you wanted.”

 He couldn’t believe what he saw, it was the ring he had one day flippantly described to Derek when they were trying to outdo each other in outrageous things they wanted. Stiles had actually forgotten about the conversation.

Stiles took a ragged breath, then tried swallowing to clear the lump that had formed in the back of his throat.

Eventually when he stopped staring at the ring, he then opened the small black box, revealing the white gold wedding band in it; the ring that was meant to belong to Derek. Both rings symbolising the lifelong commitment the men were ready to make to one another before things had gone pear shaped.

He sighed heavily before he closed the boxes, placing the dresser before he climbed into bed.

Stiles spent five minutes staring the boxes on the dresser before he finally drifted off into a dream.

_Stiles knew exactly where he was._

_He was in hospital, lying in a bed, unable to open his eyes or do anything, except listen._

_Found himself oddly calm about his current situation, somehow his mind telling him not to be afraid._

_Stiles had been listening to the sounds of machines when he heard the sound of a door creaked._

_He had tried to figure out who it was who had entered his room but he couldn’t tell who it was._

_A few moments had passed when a voice suddenly said, “You’re not supposed to be here.”_

_Stiles understood that the voice was talking to whoever had entered the room and not to him. Stiles knew who the voice was because he would be able to pick it up anywhere; it was that of his stepmother’s._

_“Sorry,” Melissa Stilinksi continued, “I didn’t mean to frighten you. It’s just that you shouldn’t be here...you should be in bed resting.”_

_“I had to see him for myself,” the voice of Derek replied._

_“I shouldn’t be surprised to see you here,” she replied. “You’re just as stubborn as he is.”_

_Stiles wondered who the “he” was that Melissa referring to, but he didn’t have to wonder long._

_“I can hear you,” John Stilinski groggily voiced._

_Stiles heard as the three people interacted with one another, united in their worry over the man lying in the bed but still trying to keep things light hearted.  Stiles admired that in the face of all the drama they had somehow still found a way to smile; which sometimes was the exact thing that needed to be done._

_He could also hear the melancholy in their voices. Stiles found the moments of their interaction heart-warming because he got to witness how much others truly cared for him._

_However soon enough Stiles was unable to hear the any of the voices._

_He thought he had been alone until he heard the sound of someone pulling the chair closer to the bed and sitting down to take hold of his hand. Stiles was surprised that he could feel the touch, he didn’t know that he had been able to feel in his state. Once he got over his shock of the touch, he came to appreciate the human contact._

_Stiles wasn’t sure how much time had passed until he heard Derek’s voice speak up._

_“Stiles,” Derek began, “I don’t know if you can hear me or not but I’m going to say this anyway... I love you. ”_

_Stiles found himself surprised by the confession, he certainly believed himself to be dreaming because there was no way that Derek would ever have told him that he loved him, not after what had happened between them._

_“When I lost my memory,” Derek continued, “and I kept hurting you, you stayed by my side and put my well being above yours. I walked into our apartment tonight and everything that we had been through the past four years all came rushing back to me. I was scared and frightened but you were my anchor. Seeing your face on the photograph from the wedding opened the floodgates and while it was overwhelming, the only reason I’m not letting it get the better of me is because of you.”_

_Stiles could not do anything except listen, and as he did so, he was disbelief. Did Derek just tell him that he had remembered everything??? Stiles wanted to react and give the man some sign that he was okay but he was immobile. Stiles still couldn’t believe what he was hearing but still he paid attention._

_“I have been trying to keep it together and, while it’s not been easy, I will do so far as long as you need because it’s my turn to make it up to you. You have had every single reason to walk away from me and I don’t blame you for wanting to go to New York when you found out about the Kate secret but please don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on us.”_

_Stiles heard the pain and sadness in Derek’s voice, and he had never heard such rawness before._

_“I love you with every fibre of my being and realising all the pain I have put you through, makes my heart ache. I am sorry that you ended up here in the hospital because this was not how things were meant to be.  If had never gotten my memories back, and you would currently be on the other side of the country starting a life without me, I would have been happy knowing that you were safe.”_

_Sties felt the sincerity and apologetic tone in the man’s voice; it left Stiles feeling overcome with emotion. Everything that he had wanted to hear for the longest time was finally being said. He wanted to tell Derek that he loved him with every fibre of his being too._

_“I know that I could not have foreseen the van crashing into us, and that if you were here you’d say that it wasn’t my fault, but I can’t help but believe that I somehow played a part in this happening. I wish that I could help the way I feel, but can’t.”_

_He wanted to tell the man that it wasn’t his fault that he was in hospital. How was he supposed to stop a van? He had even tried to protect Stiles, by gripping onto him. If anything Stiles was grateful for what the man had done._

_“Stiles I promise that once you get better, I will make it up to you,” Derek pleaded “Please don’t leave me now...Now that I’ve finally made it back to you. I need you to make it back to me. You were right; you still had faith that I would make it back even when I had no faith that I would ever get my memories back.”_

_Stiles couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Derek needed him. Stiles had always felt like in their relationship that he had been the one who had needed Derek, but now to hear the man say that he needed him. He had the urge to comfort the man and tell him, that it was okay._

_“I hid my fear of being someone who had lost a few years of his memory with the excuse that you were holding me back, but you weren’t. You had helped me learn everything that I missed out and gone over memories that were even difficult for you to relive but you still endured, because you didn’t give up.”_

_“That fighting spirit is what you need to overcome this,” Derek said, tears freely falling down his face. “I will be here and I can promise that I won’t stop being here for whatever you need but please don’t give up fighting.”_

_Stiles knew that he had to make it back, he loved Derek and now he knew that Derek loved him. He had to make it back. He loved the man with everything within him. It had been why he had been so heartbroken when everything had fallen apart, but now he had every reason to fight. He had someone who cared about him in a way that he had never experienced before._

_Their love was a love that crawled into your skin, and never left your bones. It was a love that painted everything Stiles saw, flavoured everything he tasted and coloured everything he touched._

_There was finally a way to rescue their love and now he would try his damndest to save it. Just when he had given up and thought that there was no hope for them, he had now learned that they could still be together._

_Stiles had found his reason to fight and he would try his best...because Derek loved him, and there was nothing else that mattered in that moment._

_Stiles felt a finger stroke the skin on his face before he felt a gentle placed kiss on his lips._

_It was a chaste kiss but one that sent a shiver running down his spine. Stiles could feel the love in the kiss and it went down his entire body all the way to the tip of his toes. Stiles wanted nothing more than to return the kiss._

_He tried to sum up every inch of his willpower and get his body to move, even screaming at it to react. He managed to conjure every bit of his determination and moved his lips a millimetre. As soon as he did he felt something was wrong as he started crashing._

Stiles shot up in bed, tears running down his face.

He had finally remembered the dream that he had been repeatedly having and he couldn’t believe it. He realised then that what Derek had said had earlier sounded so familiar to him because he had been hearing it every time for the past few nights.

Stiles understood why it had been such an emotional dream for because it in fact wasn’t a dream. Lydia had been right when she said that the reason why he must have reacted the way he did was because it seemed so vivid and realistic. It all made sense because it was real.

He never remembered when it happened, but he knew that it had to be the night Derek got his memory back. Stiles wanted to confirm what he had already known was the truth, and the only way to do that was to phone the one person who most likely had the answer to his question.

“Stiles?” the voice asked. “Is everything okay? It’s 2 in the morning.”

“Sorry,” he apologised. “I just have an important question and need it to be answered.”

“It couldn’t wait till the morning?”

“It couldn’t,” he said.

“Good thing I am awake then,” Melissa Stilinksi replied. “What is this important question?”

“Was there ever a time when Derek came into my hospital room?”

“You’ll have to be a bit more specific Stiles?” she said.

“It was the same night that he was in the hospital as me? I was still unconscious from the accident? You and my father were in the room?”

Stiles kept speaking, unsure how to phrase his question without alarming his step mother.

“The only thing that came to mind was when Derek wanted to see you in the morning after your crash,” she replied. “He snuck out of his room to see you. I accidentally gave him a fright... but otherwise nothing else comes to mind.”

As soon as Melissa had said that the Stiles knew that what he had seen was in fact real.

“Thank you her said,” he replied. “Thank you so _so_ much.”

“Uh okay,” she said. “Stiles are you sure that you’re okay?”

“I’m perfect,” he said. “I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing.”

“Okay then,” she replied, confusion clear in her voice. “Love you kiddo.”

“Love you too Melissa,” Stiles replied ending the call.

Stiles couldn’t believe it.

He would wake up from his dreams, sometimes not knowing why he was crying, but now he knew why. He had experienced the first moment where _his_ Derek had returned to him and told him that he had loved him.

The man who had spoken to Stiles in the room was the Derek he had fallen in love with.

Stiles had to ask himself in that moment, why had he been stalling. He was overcomplicating the matter because a few doubts that he had, but everybody has doubts about a relationship because it’s only natural. He loved Derek, and Derek loved him.

The offer in New York had been the something that he’d been willing to leave his home town for but when he thought about it, he realised that it all came down to a very important question: **Was he going to let the only person he has ever truly loved walk away from him?**

Stiles had been looking things from a different perspective but now he had new insight. Stiles knew the answer to that question, and he knew that he was going to have to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> 1\. I felt that it would have been ingenuous to have Stiles and Derek make up too quickly because then he would have been ignoring the challenges that he had faced over the past few months. Stiles had endured a lot and for him and Derek to have made up quickly would have been disrespectful to him. As impulsive as Stiles can be, he is also thinker. I think he walks the line between those two traits because no person is very really one thing. We all have our moments of impulsive behaviour and our time of thinking things through. This was one of them for him, and so I had to give him time question himself and his feeling and the situation before he realised what really mattered to him.  
> 2\. The dreams thing occurred to me when my I remembered how my best friend said that he had woken up one morning with tears streaming down his face and he had no clue why he had been crying because he couldn’t remember the dreams. I gave him a hug to make him feel better. I really felt like there was something so genuine about Derek’s initially confession to Stiles and I initially wrote it having in mind that Stiles would manage to recall it so that was why I had it go back to that moment. Derek in his second confession to Stiles while vulnerable was still stopping Stiles from seeing how much he needs Stiles. Derek needs Stiles but he hasn’t said those words. To Stiles the man does love him but it seems like it’s a love he can eventually overcome.  
> 3\. I realise that my writing can be very saccharine and cheesy at times but that has been the hopeless romantic in me coming out.
> 
> Feel free to leave comments/kudos/thoughts.
> 
> Title: Only Exception - Paramore
> 
> This song just speaks to the soul. I’ve never been in love but I can relate to the fears and emotions the song describes. Hayley Williams is really talented. I was a bit worried about the band when it was almost ended but glad that things worked out in the end.


	32. Say You Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Concluding Chapter.   
> Apologies for all errors; there might be more than usual because of the chapter length.

“How are you feeling?” Laura asked.

“Nervous,” Derek answered.

“Why?” she asked. “It’s not like you didn’t see him last night.”

“I don’t know,” Derek said, “I just feel nervous.”

“Relax Derek,” Laura said. “It will be fine.”

“I hope so.”

Derek had been a bit anxious the entire day, because of having woken up that morning with a pit in his stomach.

He had the same feeling the day his father had died and the day of his accident. He knew that something big would happen that day, but he didn’t know if it would be good or bad. Going from past experiences, he was more inclined to believe that it was something bad.

Then when his mother told him that she had invited Stiles over for dinner and he had accepted, it only made him realise that he had been right to feel anxious.

Derek took a sip of his drink, feeling the burn of the alcohol as it went down his throat.

He had managed to distract himself for the most part but often he would feel himself become uneasy when he realised that the time he would see Stiles was creeping closer.

He was relieved when the rest of his family arrived because it gave him something to focus on.

He had been successful until Laura had brought it up.

 “How have you been managing?” she asked, after a moment.

“I’ve been trying to think of anything else actually,” he sighed. “Not getting as much sleep but otherwise I’ve been okay.”

Trying not to think about Stiles over the last few days had been futile because the man was never far from his thoughts.

He even wanted to kiss the man the night before but he knew that would have been overstepping.

“I can only imagine how hard this whole thing has been hard on you both,” she said, sipping her wine. “How was he when you saw him last night?”

Seeing the man the night before had made his heart beat faster, had him feeling nervous the entire time, and he wanted nothing more than to hold the man in his arms but he couldn’t do that.

He searched the man’s face for some type of clue as to what he was thinking but he found nothing to give him any indication as to the man’s decision.

“He looked conflicted,” Derek said, “but he is hanging in there. You know Stiles; he was still able to smile, even though it was a sad one.”

“Remind me to give him a tight hug when he gets here,” she said.

As if her very words had summoned the man, they heard the sound of the loud door bell.

“Our guest has arrived,” Laura commented. “You ready?”

Derek nodded.

Derek hung back, taking a deep breath, before he and Laura made their way inside. He and Laura had been the only ones outside, catching up with one another while everyone else was already in the house.

Derek entered the kitchen, and made his way through the house hearing the sounds of everyone greeting their guest.

When Derek walked in, he noticed as Laura had just ended hugging Stiles.

“I’ve missed you,” his sister said.

“Sorry for not keeping in touch,” he said apologetically.

“It’s okay,” she smiled, “I’m just happy to see you.”

“I’m happy too,” Stiles replied.

It was then that Stiles noticed Derek standing a little ways off to the side.

“Hi,” Derek started.

“Hey,” Stiles replied awkwardly.

“I’m glad you could make it,” Derek said.

“Thanks,” he smiled, shifting slightly.

Everyone else had been standing around, silently watching their interaction.

Stiles felt like he was some wild animal at the zoo being looked at by strangers.

“I hope you’re hungry,” Talia Hale said after a moment. “I made your favourite: chicken pie.”

“I’m starving,” Stiles smiled.

“Well then let’s get settled at the dining table and we can get started,” she said to everyone.

Stiles followed Talia and everyone else as they settled around the dining room table. They started sitting around the huge table, everyone had paired up while Talia sat at the head of the table. Stiles and Derek ended up sitting next to one another.

As the night progressed the two men would go on to say very little to each other.

The conversation at dinner was stirring and constantly flowing but Stiles and Derek would often find themselves engaged in conversations with different people, never each other. The Hale family dinners always had everyone moving around the table at some point to talk to one another, refilling glasses with wine or getting beer but still the night continued with Stiles and Derek never really speaking to each other.

Once dinner had ended, they all moved into the backyard area where dessert was served while everyone was either around the fire or relatively close by playing games.

For the first bit of the night Derek had thought that Stiles was just nervous to be around him but, he soon came to notice that it seemed like that the man was actively avoiding him. Whenever someone would excuse themselves, Stiles wouldn’t be far behind to do the same.

The rest of the night passed by uneventfully with everything soon blending into one for Derek; until Stiles announced that he had to leave.

“Already?” Talia said.

“Yes,” he said apologetically. “I have something that needs my attention back at home.”

“Okay then,” Talia replied. “Let me walk you out.”

Stiles bid everyone a good night, and after making the round was standing by the door. Derek followed as everyone drifted along to send Stiles off.

“Thank you or a lovely evening,” Stiles said. “I had a lovely time.”

“It was a pleasure,” Talia grinned. “You are always welcome Stiles.”

“That’s very kind of you to say,” he smiled.

“It’s true,” she said. “Don’t be scarce.”

“I won’t be,” he said. “Goodbye everyone.”

“Bye Stiles,” they all greeted.

Derek couldn’t help but watch the man was everyone else greeted him.

He could tell that Stiles felt awkward, and he had a sad look in his eyes as if had been the last time that he would see them. Derek couldn’t stop but wonder if the man had already made his decision, and that the dinner was his way of saying goodbye to them all.

Derek had been so lost in watching the man that he had almost missed when Stiles addressed him.

“Derek,” Stiles asked suddenly, “would you mind walking me to my car?”

“Uhm sure,” he replied, caught off guard by the man’s request.

Derek followed Stiles outside to his car, noticing the serious expression on Stiles’ face as he did so.

Derek had been a bit surprised by Stiles addressing him directly, because it had felt like Stiles had been trying to not be alone with Derek.

“I’ve made my decision,” Stiles said blankly.

“Oh,” Derek said, “okay.”

“Yeah,” Stiles pursed. “Would you meet by the apartment in 30 minutes or so? I don’t want to tell you my decision like this.”

“Uh sure,” Derek replied.

Derek felt his heart sank, the look on Stiles’ face had not given him any clue to what the decision that the man had reached, but it no less made him fear for the worst. Throughout the entire night, the hollow feeling in his stomach had been lurking around and now he knew why he had woken up with the feeling.

“Cool,” Stiles said. “See you in a bit.”

“Bye,” Derek smiled.

“Bye.”

Derek watched as Stiles pulled out of the driveway and rode away.

He slowly made his way back into the house, where it was clear that everyone had been watching their exchange.

“So what did he say?” Laura asked, bluntly.

“He wants me to meet him at the apartment in half-an-hour,” Derek said.

“Did he say why?” his mother asked.

 “He’s made his decision and he didn’t want to tell me like this,” Derek said.

“Oh,” Laura said.

Derek could see it on their faces that they also weren’t entirely optimistic about how things would turn out, especially after the way tonight had gone.

“You okay?” his mother asked.

“I’ll be fine mom,” he said. “I’ll help you clear up inside and then change before I go.”

Talia was about to object but she knew that Derek needed something to do to pass the time so she agreed.

“Okay,” she nodded.

As Talia watched her son, it was clear to her that Derek was nervous and given everything that had had transpired, he had every reason to be. He had told Stiles the truth and put his heart on the line; that was all he could do. It had been something that she had never seen him do before. She knew that if things turned out badly Derek would be okay in time, but it didn’t make her worry less about his wellbeing.

Whatever happened tonight between Stiles and Derek, she knew that nothing would be same from then onwards.

* * *

  
The drive to the apartment had been very nerve wracking for Derek.

He and Stiles had both gone through so much together and now it all came down to one moment.

Derek drove to the apartment in complete silence. His sister had offered to drive him but he opted to have some alone time before he spoke to Stiles; it had been why he had been sitting in the car by himself for 5 minutes. He didn’t know what awaited him but he assumed that it was nothing good, going by the signs that he had seen throughout the day.

Derek soon climbed out of the car and made his way to the apartment. He immediately felt himself transported back to the night when he told Stiles the truth. Feeling the same way that he did that afternoon.

When Derek got to the apartment door, he was surprised by the sign on it:

“ _Derek -_ _Go to the rooftop. Stiles.”_

Derek was confused by the sign, and if his name hadn’t had been on the sign then he might have doubted that it was meant for him.

Derek took the elevator to the top floor and then found the door that lead to the roof.

When he made it to the top, he initially didn’t see Stiles until he had turned the corner off a wall.

“Stiles?”

“Hey,” Stiles said.

“What are we doing up here?”

“I just wanted you to see the view with me...”

Derek couldn’t stop from thinking that Stiles had drifted off as he was about to say “ _for the last time_ ”.

“It is pretty amazing,” Derek said staring out ahead of him.

The two of them stood there for a while, no one feeling pressured or obligated to fill the silence; just wanting to appreciate the moment together.

Derek had been so lost in the moment that he had barely heard Stiles.

“I remember how we used to sneak up here in the mornings and at night, then just sit here and watch everyone,” he said. “Felt like it does now, very serene.”

Derek pictured it as Stiles was reflecting over the moment, how they would stand close together with Derek’s bigger frame covering Stiles as he held the man in his arms; using their body heat to help warm them up from the morning chill. Just standing still sometimes with a cup of coffee and just watch everyone else wake up.

“Things were easier back then,” he said.

It wasn’t just easier... it was perfect; which made the reality of what Stiles was about to say all the more heartbreaking.

Derek noticed then that Stiles started angling his body towards him, which made him do the same. Derek suddenly felt his pulse increase exponentially once he noticed that Stiles was holding a red box in his hand.

 It wasn’t just any red box, but rather the one Derek had left for Stiles on the night he told Stiles the truth; it was the engagement ring he bought.

Stiles took a moment, looking at the item, and then inhaling deeply as if he was preparing himself for something.

“I need to give this back to you,” he finally said.

Derek had unconsciously been holding his breath, like Stiles had been holding his fate in his hands, and now he was finally discovering the outcome.

Derek had heard what Stiles had said with a delayed reaction. He heard but he didn’t immediately understand. It took him a few seconds to comprehend the meaning of what Stiles said, and when he did, he felt his heart sink.

 Derek wanted to reply, but he couldn’t find his voice to say anything.

Stiles took step closer, opening Derek’s hand, and looking down at the box as he put the item in it. As he felt the weight of the box in his hands, Derek did not react, or more truthfully could not react because he felt like he was in shock.

Derek thought that Stiles was about to close his hand on the box, but instead the man then tilted his head up to look directly into Derek’s eyes.

“I need to give this back to you,” he repeated, “because I want **you** to put this ring on my hand.”

Derek was confused by what Stiles was saying.

It took him a moment to replay the words in his head, allowing the meaning of the words to sink in.

Stiles couldn’t help but smile as he watched Derek’s expression shift from stillness to confusion.

“You didn’t think I was going to turn down such damn impressive ring did you?” Stiles teased.

“Good thing I spent months looking for it then,” Derek joked, coming out of his stupor, “because all that time clearly paid off.”

Stiles laughed, unable to contain the tears.

“You have no idea how good it feels to know that I made you laugh,” Derek grinned, stroking Stiles’ cheek.

Stiles found himself closing his eyes and leaning into the touch.

It was such a simple gesture, but one that had more significance than what it appeared; Stiles leaning in was his way of accepting Derek’s touch. It showed him that Stiles wanted to be with him.

“Is this really happening?” Derek said, still in disbelief.

“Yes,” Stiles said.

Derek slowly titled his head forward, moving it closer to Stiles’ lips.

He covered 50% of the space between them, allowing Stiles to meet him halfway, slowly closing the gap until their lips met.

 Derek had gingerly taken hold of Stiles’ face as they kissed, his hands placed gently on the man’s neck.

He could feel as they both relaxed into the kiss and let their instincts take over, and as they did so, Derek felt the pit in his stomach be replaced by butterflies.

With each passing second, their love which that had been reduced to the light of a matchstick grew into that of a forest fire; consuming every inch of their skin. Derek was gently moved one hand to the small of Stiles’ back as the man passionately returned the kiss, moving his body closer to Derek’s so he could fully enjoy it.

It had been a kiss that reminded Derek of their first kiss, but only better.

He didn’t have to withhold himself, to stop himself from kissing the man because the man he loved was in his arms. His senses were tingling and every nerve endings in his body felt alive as he enjoyed every second of their kiss.

Eventually when they broke apart for some much needed air, both men’s lips were puffy.

“I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time,” Derek heaved.

“Likewise,” Stiles gasped.

“I still can’t believe that I get to do this for the rest of our lives,” Derek said.

“I can’t believe I get to experience that for the rest of my life,” Stiles grinned. “Who needs New York when you have Derek Hale?”

With just a few words Derek had been reminded of the reality of their situation.

Derek had been swept up in the moment, focusing only how good it felt to be with Stiles and have the man that he loved close to him. He had been so concerned about what had happened that he had forgotten about the result that Stiles’ decision would have on everything else... until Stiles had mentioned New York.

 “Stiles,” Derek said seriously, “Are you sure this is what you want? Columbia University is offering you your dream job...I don’t want you to throw away your dream job for me.”

“I’m not throwing anything away,” Stiles answered humourlessly. “The life I want, the career I want it won’t mean anything without you in it.  You see me in a way that no has ever before and when you look at me with such love and passion sometimes that it unravels me. You mean everything to me Derek. I’ve made my decision - _I love you..._ I choose you.”

“Stiles,” he started, “love doesn’t mean giving something up for the other person. It means to achieve something and I don’t want you to give up an important life plan just for me.”

“So what you saying?” Stiles asked, his voice thick. “That we should just go our own way?”

“No,” Derek said, taking a hold of Stiles’ face, “I’m not saying that.”

“So then what are you saying?”

“What if we both go to New York?” Derek said, as the thought suddenly occurred to him.

“What?” Stiles repeated, as if he hadn’t heard the man.

“I could work in New York,” Derek said.

“Your company is here,” Stiles said, “a company that you’ve started on your own and poured all your extremely hard work into in order to make it successful. I can’t just let you give up on that...”

“I wouldn’t be giving it up,” Derek answered. “We’ve constantly been getting offers from companies based in New York City and Peter has proven that he can manage the company on his own on this side so we should at least consider this.”

“Are you sure?” he said “What about everything that happened? Can you handle the stress of starting up all over again?”

“I remember everything I’ve learned over the years,” he said, “and I’m sure Peter and Erica will welcome the idea so they wouldn’t mind helping out if need be.”

Stiles could see that Derek was being serious, and the more he let the thought sink in, the more he became excited about doing it.

“So we’re doing this?” Stiles asked disbelievingly.

“I guess we are,” he smiled.

“We’re moving to New York?”

“We’re moving to New York,” Derek nodded.

Stiles couldn’t believe what had just happened.

 When he had accepted his decision that he wouldn’t be going to New York, he wasn’t as saddened by the news because of the fact that he would have Derek. He knew that other opportunities would present themselves later in life, but knowing that he got have the dream job and the husband, was the icing on the cake.

Derek had been surprised when he had blurted out the suggestion, but it made sense.

He and Peter  were practically stepping on one another’s feet because he was just managing accounts that Peter didn’t and when he wasn’t doing that then he spent most of his time checking the finances or sitting in on brainstorming sessions and meetings.

They had regularly gotten queries about expanding their company to the East Coast but they didn’t want to rush anything or join up with someone who could damage their brand. Going to New York with Stiles would be beneficial for them both; Derek was surprised that it took him so long to think of the idea actually.

“Wow,” Stiles said. “I can’t believe you’re doing all of this for me.”

“I’m doing it for us,” Derek corrected.

“Have I recently told you how much I love you?” Stiles said after a moment.

“No actually... ” Derek laughed. “You gave me one of the biggest scares of my life tonight at dinner instead. I nearly thought that I lost you forever...”

“Sorry,” Stiles apologised. “I know that was cruel, but will it make you feel better if I told you that I was thinking of you the entire time. I wanted to lace our fingers together at the dinner table, feel your thumb gently stroking the back of my neck, kissing you in front of everyone and run my hand up your thigh. If I had to be left alone with you I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself to giving in to how much I wanted you.”

“Hearing you say that,” he stated, “made everything worthwhile. I would gladly relive that dinner if it means that I get to have you for the rest of my life...”

As if Derek was reminded its existence, he became aware of the red box in his hand.

He realised that while the element of surprise had been removed from the equation, he still had to propose properly because it would be a story that they would not only tell others but also tell their future children about one day.

“...which is why,” he continued, moving down onto one knee, “it would be the greatest achievement of my life if you made me the happiest man alive by becoming my husband. I can’t promise that it will be easy; there will be some rough patches ahead but I know that nothing will compare to the difficulty we had to face over these past months. I promise that I will be here to support you no matter what challenges may lay ahead, I promise to uplift you whenever you may be down, and to cherish every moment that I have with you Stiles. Will you marry me?”

Stiles had always imagined what this moment would be like, and while he had thought the moment would have happened sooner and under better conditions, he was just glad that it was finally happening.

He felt happier than he had been in months. He couldn’t believe that all the heartbreak and pain they both had endured turned out to be worthwhile. Things had turned out better than he could have expected; everything was how it was meant to be.

 Stiles couldn’t help but beam from ear to ear as he stared at the love of his life.

“Stiles,” Derek said after a moment, “I uhm...need you to actually say something.”

“Sorry,” Stiles laughed. “I thought I said yes.”

“So it’s a yes?”

“Of course,” he laughed.

Derek couldn’t help but grin as he slipped the platinum band around Stiles left ring finger.

Derek quickly stood up, lifting Stiles up as he kissed the man.

As they continued to kiss, they soon felt themselves get caught in the drizzle that was descending from the clouds. They deepened their kiss as they drizzling continued falling upon them, oblivious to the rest of the world.

Derek eventually placed Stiles back down on his feet, breaking their kiss before he rested his head against Stiles’.

“I love you Stiles,” Derek said, the words feeling natural on his lips.

“I love you too Derek,” Stiles said.

He then gently kissed the man on the bridge of his nose, before holding him tightly.

“It’s drizzling,” Derek noted. “We should get inside soon.”

“Uhm yeah,” Stiles stuttered, suddenly remembering something, “but...”

“But what?”

“Wait here for 5 minutes then follow me down the fire escape okay?” Stiles replied.

“Okay,” Derek replied, being intrigued by Stiles behaviour. “Can I ask why?”

“There was more to me meeting you up here than just the view,” Stiles winked.

Derek was intrigued by Stiles’ behaviour because he knew that the man must have had something up his sleeve.

Derek watched as Stiles went down the fire escape and entered into their apartment through the window in the lounge. The five minutes that Derek had to wait felt like twenty to him.

Eventually when his five minute waiting period had been up, Derek slowly climbed onto the fire escape and descended down to their apartment. Derek carefully climbed into the apartment, closing the window behind him to stop the rain from coming in.

When he finally turned around to take in their apartment, he couldn’t believe what he saw.

The entire apartment was illuminated by candle light only.

Derek was reminded of one winter’s night when they had power to the building had gone out and they had decided to make a romantic evening of it. It had actually tuned out to be a very special night.

Derek looked down and noticed that he was standing on the welcome mat which Stiles had moved from the door, and then he saw the trail of rose petals which created a path for him to follow.

Derek slowly removed his leather jacket and placed in on the sofa as he started following the rose petals.

As he continued walking the path he noticed how Stiles had moved all the photos around, creating him a memory lane. Seeing all the photographs he passed along the way remind him of all the moments they had shared together.

Derek could feel his heart beating loudly as the followed the path.

With each step, he grew anxious and nervous to see what awaited him at the end.

When Derek finally entered the bedroom, the treasure at the end of the path, he saw the only man he had ever loved standing with his hands behind his back.

The room had candles in them too, and music playing softly in the background.

“You went through a lot of work to get this all done,” Derek said once he was inside the room.

“I had a little help,” Stiles smirked.

Stiles took a hold of Derek’s left hand and slowly bended one knee, revealing a small black box in his right hand.

“I know that we’re already engaged,” Stiles grinned, “but I’ve always had this idea that even if my future spouse had proposed first, it would still have been something that I wanted to do. So I thought that it would be very romantic to not just tell you how I love you but really show you how much I love you.”

“Derek Hale, we have been through a lot together. We have a lot of great moments together, and recently we had to endure a lot of terrible moments. We almost didn’t make it there for bit, which was really really scary.”

“I can’t find the words to tell you how I feel right now,” he said. “When I thought I had lost you forever it broke me, and I couldn’t cope with seeing you every day without being reminded of that. As drastic as it seemed, moving across the country was what I saw as my only option to get over you.”

“Now,” he continued, “I’m still moving across the country but instead of going alone, I will have the best person by my side that I could ever ask for. You are the only person` who has ever really seen me as more than just the awkward and sarcastic guy I was when we met. Being with you over the past few years has allowed me to grow while I can still be awkward and sarcastic nearly all the time, I feel like I’ve grown into the man I was meant to be.”

“No words describe how happy I am knowing that I have you in my life,” Stiles said. “Every morning that I will have with you beside me has me grateful because I will have someone who loves me unconditionally and who cares so much for me that he gave me half his liver to save my life.”

“If these past few months had taught me anything it is that we fight for each other and we anchor one another whenever the other gets lost. I agree that there will be challenges ahead but as I see it, we’ve already overcome the worst of it. Will you be my anchor for the times that I can’t anchor myself, will you do me the pleasure of joining our lives for rest of lives...Will you marry me Derek Hale?” 

Derek bent down to kiss the man on his lips, even deepening their kiss for a bit before lifting Stiles up.

Derek stared at Stiles, looking directly into the man’s eyes.

“Yes,” he said.

Stiles slipped the white gold band around Derek’s hand before he felt Derek pull him closer and continue their kiss. What both men had thought would be just a kiss slowly progressed into something more.

Derek slowly started kissing Stiles’ jaw line and kissing nearly every inch of the way to his neck, while his hands slipped underneath Stiles’ shirt to the bare skin present there.

Stiles and Derek could both feel their arousal grow as they continued to embrace one another.

Stiles had forgotten what it had felt like to have someone caress his body, relishing the experience. He soon felt goosebumps rise on his skin as Derek continued to kiss his skin.

Stiles instinctively felt his way underneath Derek’s shirt, feeling the muscles underneath his grasp.

Stiles couldn’t help but groan when he felt Derek gently suck on his neck.

“Fuck,” Stiles rasped. “I’ve missed that.”

“I’ve missed doing that,” Derek whispered, his lips moving across Stiles skin. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too,” Stiles said, bring Derek’s lips back to his mouth.

He gently nibbled at the man’s bottom lip, before he pushed his tongue into Derek’s mouth.

 Stiles started kissing his way down the man’s neck, unable to stop himself from pulling off Derek’s shirt in the process. He stopped, momentarily distracted by the scar from the surgery.

“It looks just like mine,” Stiles remarked.

Derek watched as Stiles moved his hands towards the scar. Derek couldn’t help but wince when Stiles skin had come into contact with him.

“Did I hurt you?” Stiles asked as his eyes suddenly filled with alarm.

“No,” Derek laughed. “Your hands are just cold.”

“Sorry,” he grinned, visibly relieved.

“It’s okay,” Derek smiled.

“I still can’t believe you did this for me,” Stiles answered.

“I would do anything to protect you,” Derek said.

 Stiles then removed his shirt, and showed off his scars from the surgeries he had.

“These are like our battle scars,” Stiles smiled. “Like no matter what, we will always be connected.”

“And there is no else in the entire world who I would rather be connected to,” Derek answered.

“I love you,” Stiles said.

“I love you too,” Derek said.

“Interesting,” Stiles remarked teasingly.

“Interesting?”

“Yes,” Stiles grinned.

“Why interesting?” Derek questioned, with amusement.

“But now you get to show me how just much,” Stiles winked.

Stiles had barely finished speaking before Derek reclaimed the man’s lips, pressing their naked torsos together as he did so.

The Hale man gripped his fiancée firmly, letting his hands drift down to grope Stiles’ irresistible ass, allowing their skin to skin contact to heighten their sensations.

They quickly lost most of their clothes as Derek directed Stiles to the bed, slowly lying the man down on the bed.

He lowered himself slowly on top of Stiles, snaking his way down to the young man’s abdomen before kissing his lips again.

It didn’t take long until both of their bodies were grinding against each other.

Stiles felt his pulse pick up as their bodies moved against each other, it felt so good that he couldn’t help but let out a groan at the sensation.

Derek was soon back kissing Stiles’ skin, covering his nipple while playfully licking and teasing the sensitive area. Stiles loved every second of attention his body was receiving from Stiles’ mouth.

When Derek felt something press up against his leg, he looked down he saw Stiles’ member straining against his underwear. He quickly navigated his way to between the man’s legs.

He first licked the head of Stiles erection through his underwear, watching how the single act made Stiles tremble. He soon removed the underwear and gave Stiles’ shaft his full attention, moving up and down with a steady pace.

Pleasing the man he loved caused him pleasure; Derek loved how whenever he would do this, Stiles moaned and groaned freely.

Stiles enjoyed the sensations Derek made him feel, but he to pull his fiancée off him, otherwise everything would end prematurely.

He quickly kissed the man, before he flipped them around, causing Derek to lie down on the bed.

Stiles returned the favour, unable to resist himself. He leisurely stroked Derek’s member, placing his mouth on the man’s bulbous head, working in tandem his hand as pleasured Derek. Derek couldn’t believe how amazing it felt, he couldn’t help but grip onto the sheets as Stiles continued moving up and down his member.

“Damn...I’m gonna come soon if you don’t stop,” Derek gasped, “and I really don’t want that to happen because I want to be inside you when you come.”

“That sounds hot,” Stiles rasped.

Derek pulled Stiles onto his lap, draping the man’s legs over his so he could stroke their erections together; the sensation of their erections moving against each other sent a tingling all over their bodies.

“Shit,” Stiles groaned into Derek’s mouth. “That feels so good.”

Derek could only groan in response.

“I’m not gonna last much longer if this continues,” Stiles heaved. “Fuck.”

“That’s what I intend to do,” Derek said before kissing the man.

Using one arm, Derek flipped them around so that Stiles was lying on his back with him in between the man’s legs. He lifted Stiles’ legs, thereby giving him full access to the man’s waiting hole.

He took one of his fingers and put it into Stiles’ mouth, then did the same with another before he gingerly inserted both into the man’s ass. 

He worked Stiles’ hole over until the man was writhing on the bed.

“Mmm...” Stiles moaned. “Fuck... me...ah... already...”

“I understand,” Derek smiled.

What had started out as slow and gentle lovemaking, soon turned into passionate and dirty lovemaking.

“Where’s the condom?” Derek asked.

“Do we need a condom?” Stiles asked, soberly. “Did you and -”

“No,” he stated.

“Then no condom...” Stiles settled.

“You sure?”

“Yes,” he rasped. “I want my fiancée to fuck me, and to do it now.”

Derek slowly placed his member at Stiles’ entrance, slowly applying more force as he entered the man.

“Damn,” Stiles writhed. “I forgot how good this felt.”

Derek slowly entered man, not meeting much resistance until they fit perfectly together.

Derek slowly lowered himself until Stiles was looking directly at him.

 “That feels so good,” Stiles moaned, gripping the sheets.

“Stiles,” Derek said slowly, “look at me.”

Stiles looked up at the man, and when he did he felt like he could see into the man’s soul.

Stiles could see how Derek was exposing his soul to the man, and it was something he found amazing. In that moment, he had never felt more were connected and in love with Derek.

They were both bearing their souls and bodies with each other in such an intimate way that there was nowhere to hide; there flaws and imperfections were on display and it felt liberating.

 “I love you,” Derek said.

“I love you,” Stiles replied.

Derek started thrusting forward gently, kissing Stiles as he did so. Stiles felt the movement reverberate throughout his entire body, causing his pulse to pick up speed.

Soon Derek was thrusting with a steady pace.

When Stiles ordered Derek to go deeper, he complied, when he told the man to go harder, he went harder, and when he told the man to go faster, he did. Stiles enjoyed every single sensation he felt, the heat radiating off Derek and the power he used with each thrust, sending chills throughout his body.

 It was exhilarating; Stiles’ member was throbbing and was the hardest it had ever been.

“I don’t want you to stop,” Stiles groaned as he felt the man repeatedly hit his prostate.

Stiles looked at the man above him and saw the pleasure that he was feeling reflect back at him.

Seeing the man that he loved in such euphoria was all that Stiles needed to drive him over both the edge

“I’m coming,” Stiles yelled.

Stiles shot his load with such force, that it hit his chin and erupted all over his chest and stomach.

Derek found the sight of Stiles coming overwhelming, leading the man to orgasm with just as much intensity.

Stiles could see stars around his vision as he tried to stabilise his vision.

“Uh...” Stiles muttered. “That was...”

“Yeah,” Derek gulped.

“I missed our sex,” Stiles laughed.

“Yes,” Derek agreed.

The men stayed in place for a minute longer before they got up, and went into the bathroom. As they quickly showered, their hands and lips never left each other’s bodies for long.

“What was going through your mind?” Stiles asked, holding onto Derek as the water ran down their naked bodies.

“When I asked you to look at me?” he asked earnestly.

“Yeah,” he nodded, kissing the man’s shoulder.

“I wanted you to see how much I love you,” he answered. “I just wanted to be connected with you in that moment; to show you that I understand how lucky I am to have you. I never want to lose you ever again.”

“You won’t...”

They quickly exited the shower and climbed into bed, exhaustion hitting them like a brick.

After months of sleeping alone, he finally had Derek back at his side to curl up to. Stiles loved the feeling of Derek’s chest behind his back. He loved how secure he felt in Derek’s arms. It was the first place he woke up, and the last place he went to bed.

 “I’ve missed this,” Stiles mumbled sleepily.

“Me too,” Derek replied, drowsily kissing Stiles’ neck, “there is no greater feeling that having you in my arms, knowing that you are always near my heart.”

“How long been waiting to use that line,” Stiles teased. “You’ve been extra talkative and poetic lately.”

“You bring it out in me,” he smirked. “Side effect of dating an English lecturer.”

“Yeah,” Stiles rumbled. “Blame the one with an English degree here...”

Derek had been ready to dose off when Stiles spoke up.

“Speaking of,” Stiles said seriously, “there has been something bothering me and your answer to this determines whether I stay here or leave you Derek.”

“What is it,” Derek said extremely worried.

“Can we please make the pact never ever to say the phrase “You love I” ever again?” Stiles said, it being clear that he was smiling. “It was so cheesy and bad.”

“It sounded better in my head,” Derek couldn’t help smile as he replied, “but I agree. If it means that I get to share the rest of my life with you then I will never use the cheesy phrase ever again.”

“What a relief,” Stiles teased. “You had me worried there for a second.”

Derek smiled, feeling happy that he would be experiencing such moments for the rest of his life.

“Sleep tight Stiles.”

“For the first time in months,” Stiles answered, “I actually think I might.”

“Good,” Derek answered.“We need our rest for tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“Who else do you think is going to have to explain to everyone that we’re getting married?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This was a whopper to write but I hoped you enjoyed it.  
> 2\. I must say I never saw the idea of Derek going to New York appealing but when I thought about it, it made sense and then I got excited about it and once that happened I was on board, so thank you commentators for that.  
> 3\. The bit that Derek said about how love is not about giving something up for someone came from when I was watching a K-Drama (Korean Drama) called It’s Okay, That’s Love which I highly recommend because it’s funny and deals with mental illness in a way that American series tonally can’t. Though if you don’t like subtitles then you’d probably not like it.  
> 4\. Gripe: Penis is still such an unsexy word -sigh- Also “come” is actually how the word was originally spelt before “cum” came to mean the same thing. I stuck to the original because I had used it in the earlier chapters. I almost didn’t want to include the sex scene at the end, but the pros for having one outweighed the cons. It felt like I was short-changing you guys.  
> 5\. I have to say that the most difficult thing about this story in its entirety was writing three versions of Derek. I didn’t always handle it perfectly but in retrospect I feel like it was really informative and helped me as a writer to make mistakes along the way. I enjoyed it.  
> 6\. I hope that the ending was what you wanted. I have a bit of an epilogue written but I want to leave the option of it to you. The title of the story is The Vanishing Proposal so I thought it was appropriate to have their proposals happen in this chapter but if you want a wedding then I can write it. The epilogue would be their wedding day so yeah. I even have a song for it but only if you want it.  
> 7\. Thanks to everyone who gave kudos, it feels awesome to know that people liked the story.  
> 8\. I’m graduating soon too!! (yay) so thanks for those who were with me in the last semester of my university career.  
> Title: Say You Love Me – Jessie Ware  
> I like this song and found it so charming, there is a part in the song that just encapsulates Stiles and Derek for me, “Want to feel burning flames when you say my name. Want to feel passion flow into my bones, like blood through my veins.” I love it because that is exactly the type of love they have.


	33. A Thousand Years – Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Final Chapter: Epilogue.  
> Apologies for all errors. I'm sure there are a few I missed.

Derek was awoken by the sound of laughter in the room.

“Don’t you think he looks so sweet?”  a female voice asked.

“Are we staring at the same person,” a male voice replied. “Never in a million years would I utter the words ‘cute’ and ‘Derek Hale’ in the same sentence...”

“Oh come on Scott you have to admit that he looks cute?” Lydia said.

“Well he looks grumpy cat cute,” Scott stated. “Does that count?”

“How is a grumpy cat cute?” Allison asked.

“They are adorable with their grumpiness,” Scott explained, “which is exactly how I see Derek, so there is a particular cuteness that he possesses.”

“Wait a moment,” Allison replied. “Oh my god, I can see it.”

They all couldn’t help but burst into laughter then.

“You realise you aren’t being subtle,” Derek interrupted with his eyes still closed.

The laughter ended immediately once he had started talking.

Derek could feel the laugher vibrate from Stiles body, signifying that he was awake too, but he still pretended to be asleep.

“Uh,” Scott started. “We’ll leave.”

“Good idea,” Derek said, not opening his eyes.

“We won’t be too far though,” Lydia said. “We have a schedule to stick to if we’re getting you down the aisle in time. I’ll give you five more minutes then the next time you will be seeing your fiancée will be when you’re getting married.”

“Okay,” Derek answered.

Getting to spend the previous night with Stiles had been a lengthy debate which he and the man thankfully won. Lydia and almost everyone else was stressing how it’s tradition to be apart from each other the night before the wedding.

He and Stiles managed to convince Lydia how since there was no traditional way for gay men to get married, it was up to them to come up with their own traditions and so it was perfectly okay for them to spend the last night together before they got married.

They had been very tempted to break their no sex rule.

They did grind against each other for a while last night until they had hard problems which they alleviated by using their hands, but otherwise they had stuck to their no sex for a month before the wedding.

It wasn’t as hard as what they had anticipated; they had both been extremely busy with work that they would be so tired when they came home. They had ended up spending the two hours before they went to bed cuddling on the sofa of their New York apartment.

“How you feeling?”

“I’m not nervous yet,” Stiles said, nestling closer into Derek’s arms. “You?”

“I’m just excited that I officially get to call you my husband,” he said, kissing Stiles neck.

“No cold feet?” Stiles questioned, the smile in his voice clear.

“None what-so-ever,” he said. “Yours?”

“Feel how warm my feet are,” Stiles said placing his on Derek’s.

“Good,” Derek smiled.

“The past 6 months flew by,” he said. “If it wasn’t for Lydia I am sure that we wouldn’t have managed to get it all sorted.”

“I’ve never doubted her capabilities,” Derek answered.

“I’m glad to hear you say that,” she interrupted standing at the door, “because it makes separating you that much easier.”

“You promised 5 more minutes,” Stiles argued.

“I gave you six,” she retorted. “So enough whining, you have to get to your father’s house this morning and Derek has to go home.”

“Why?” they both replied.

“You will understand when you get to your parents but come on,” she hastened.

Stiles and Derek were confused as to what exactly was going on because they had seen both their parents the night before at the rehearsal dinner and none of them had given any indication to the fact that they would be seeing them in the morning.

“I’ll quickly grab a shower,” Derek said, “and then I’ll have something to eat before I leave.”

“How about I join you in the shower?” Stiles smirked, facing his fiancée.

“None of that will be happening,” Lydia cut across, “otherwise you’ll never make it to all the things you’re supposed to today.”

“Party-pooper,” Stiles sighed.

“You’ll thank me later when you’re hitched,” she retorted.

“Yeah yeah,” Stiles groaned.

Derek rose from bed, about to kiss Derek when Lydia had stopped them. Stiles was about to complain but then she reminded him that the next time they kissed then they would be married.

Stiles rose from bed and went inside to have something to eat, meeting Scott and Allison in the kitchen.

“Where did you guys get all of this?” he gaped, staring at the mountain of food before him.

“It was courtesy of my mother,” Lydia said.

“As if it wasn’t kind enough of her to do the wedding cake for free,” he said.

“We just wanted to make sure that you got something to eat so you don’t pass out when you’re standing in front of Derek.”

“Doesn’t that only happen to brides?” Stiles countered.

“Knowing your luck,” Lydia replied, “you’re bound to be the first groom that it would happen to.”

 “She does have a point,” Scott agreed with his mouth fool.

“Wow thanks for the support Scotty,” Stiles said, shaking his head at his brother, “AND of course you’d be digging in already.”

“What?” Scott said. “It’s amazing food.”

“Yeah,” he said, “just don’t overdo it. I don’t need my best man running to the bathroom halfway through the ceremony to have a bathroom emergency.”

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Allison suddenly announced running to the bathroom.

“See like that,” Stiles commented.

“Is she okay?” Lydia commented.

“She’s fine,” Scott said. “Just a stomach bug. I’ll go check on her.”

Scott quickly followed after Allison, leaving Stiles and Lydia alone.

“How are you feeling?”

“Nervous,” Stiles honestly answered.

“That is understandable,” she said.

“I almost had a panic attack on the morning of my wedding,” she said.

“How did I not know about this?” Stiles said.

“Because I didn’t tell anyone,” she smiled. “I felt a bit overwhelmed because it was all the small things and months of stressing that finally got to me. Jackson managed to talk me through my moment of insanity and after that I was okay.”

“I remembered that he couldn’t be found at one point,” Stiles commented.

“Because he was talking to his emotional bride,” Lydia hedged.

Just as Lydia finished, they were interrupted by the arrival of Derek looking extremely handsome in his casual attire. Stiles couldn’t help but be turned on by the sight of the man who would become his husband, looking like he stepped from the pages of a fashion campaign.

“Why don’t you just model for Armani already?”Lydia commented. “You would fit their look perfectly.”

“They did ask him actually,” Stiles commented feeling proud of his husband.

“What?” she exclaimed. “Please tell me you said yes.”

“He said that it would be inappropriate given how it’s his company managing their ad campaign,” Stiles stated.

“That’s such crap,” Lydia said.

“I know,” Stiles sighed.

“You both realise that I’m standing right here,” Derek smirked.

“Seriously though,” Lydia said. “I really think you should consider it Derek.”

“Thanks,” he said, “but yeah...”

“Jackson’s done quite a few campaigns for them,” Lydia persisted, “and he says that it’s one of his favourite brands to work for. Just imagine how fun it would be.”

“Yes,” Stiles said. “Also it will give me reason to brag to my colleagues that I’m married to a hot male supermodel.”

Derek just smiled at them as he shook his head, “You’ll win them over eventually Stiles; you don’t need a supermodel husband for that.”

“Are you still struggling to connect with everyone in your department at Columbia?” Lydia asked.

“It’s been okay,” he said. “I’ve won over a few people but there are still others who are giving me the cold shoulder. Like the fact that I took so long before eventually showing up was not something that they took to kindly.”

“He’s been doing well though,” Derek said. “He had a rough time in the start but he’s been doing well. I’m proud of him.”

Stiles couldn’t help but smile at that, feeling himself go slightly red, “I’m proud of you too.”

They were about to kiss before Lydia interrupted them again.

“As sweet as all this lovey-dovey stuff is,” she said. “Derek I think you need to leave because otherwise you two might end up doing it in front of me before you even get down the aisle today.”

“Wouldn’t you like to see that,” Stiles winked.

Lydia just rolled her eyes.

“Be safe Stiles,” he laughed. “I’ll meet you at the aisle.”

“I’ll be the one in the black bowtie,” he winked.

“Right back at you,” he smiled.

“Bye.”

Derek nodded before he exited the apartment. Stiles was still staring at the door when Lydia interrupted his thoughts.

“You better eat up,” Lydia warned. “You also have to get to your father.”

“Yes ma’am,” he nodded.

“I’ll go check up on what is taking Allison and Scott so long.”

Stiles couldn’t believe that it was finally happening. He and Derek were finally getting married after nearly 5 years of being together. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to marry the one person who he had met who made him the happiest he had ever been.

6 months ago everything could have gone horribly wrong but thankfully it didn’t, he had the dream job he wanted with the most perfect partner who he was about to marry in front of all the people who mattered most to him.

He was having the best day of his life.

* * *

 

“Dad?” Stiles said when he got into the house. “You here?”

“In the kitchen,” his father answered.

Stiles walked through his childhood home, remembering all the experiences and memories that had made him into the person that he was; all the times of sneaking into the house, all the times his father had taught him what it meant to be a man and all the times his mother spent with him before she got sick.

Also, not forgetting his entire schooling experiences which had the greatest impact on him. He had been lucky to have had Scott by his side throughout everything.

It had been all of those moments that had helped formed the person that he was.

And apparently, he wasn’t the only one who had been reflective about growing up because his father was perched over scrapbooks filled with tons of stuff from his childhood.

“Where did you find all of that?” Stiles asked laughing at the picture.

“Oh you know,” John Stalinski said, “I’m just being sentimental. It’s not every day your son gets married.”

“When was that?” Stiles asked noticing the picture his father had.

“This was your 10th birthday,” he smiled. “You and Scott became very obsessed with dressing up as rappers and you had to have your gangster rap theme party.”

“We look pretty badass I must say,” he smiled.

“You two were inseparable,” his father laughed. “I think you two were destined to be there for each other. You two were just kindred souls. Melissa and I knew that we would have our hands full with you two.”

“We did get into a lot of trouble when we were younger,” Stiles laughed.

“You’re telling me,” his father smiled.

Stiles couldn’t resist paging through the books with all the pictures; smiling, laughing and occasionally cringing at all the memories and experiences that had been documented throughout his life.

He stopped when he came across one that he had seen many times before.

“You look just like her,” his father said when he saw the photo Stiles was looking at.

Stiles couldn’t help but touch his mother’s face as he looked at the picture.

It was from the day that his mother and his father had gotten married. His father had a very thick moustache or pornstache as Stiles had often teased him, while his mother looked absolutely stunning.

“Do you mind if I keep this?” Stiles asked. “I don’t have a picture of you and mom together in the apartment in New York.”

“Sure,” his father smiled.

“Thanks Dad,” Stiles smiled. “Do you have somewhere for me to put the photograph into?”

“Actually yes,” his said.

“Thanks,” Stiles said taking the envelope from his father.

He had opened the envelope to put the photograph in it, but stopped once he realised what he held in his hands.

“Is this-”

“Yes,” his father said.

“I thought the last one was for my 18th?” he questioned looking up at his dad.

“She gave me one to keep that you couldn’t know about until you got married,” his father said. “She didn’t want you to feel pressured. She didn’t want you to feel like you _had_ to get married just to read her letter. This was the last one she wrote before she passed away.”

Stiles couldn’t believe what he held in his hands.

It was the last thing his mother had ever left for him. When they had eventually gotten often the diagnosis of his mother’s condition, she started writing letters to them and his mother had written him a letter for ever birthday until his 18th. He thought that the letter he got then was the last that she had wrote, but apparently not.

“I’ll give you a few minutes to read it,” his father said leaving him alone.

Stiles didn’t answer his father because he had been in such shock.

 

**_To My Dearest Stiles:_ **

**_If you are reading this letter, then it means that today, you are getting married._ **

**_I hope that whoever the lucky one is who stole your heart realises what a compassionate, considerate and caring soul you are. You have always wore your heart on your sleeve and while I worry about the future heartache and emotional rollercoaster you will endure, I know that you are a fighter and you will be okay in the end._ **

**_I hope that the person you have chosen to marry is worthy of your love, is considerate of your feelings and is willing to go the extra mile for you._ **

**_I instructed your father not to tell you about this letter because I didn’t want you to feel pressured and that getting married was important. I wanted it to happen naturally for you to find someone and not settle._ **

**_If there is one piece of advice that I want to share it’s that, no relationship is ever easy. There will be tough times, there will be times when you will want to quit and there will be times when things will feel overwhelming, but all I can say is that I know you will endure. Be honest but thoughtful, and don’t take a single moment for granted. Love passionately and without restraint._ **

**_I wish that I could be there in person to share this special occasion with you, but know that while I may not be there physically, I will be there in spirit._ **

**_I gave your father another gift to give to you, which I hope that he hasn’t lost because we all know that sometimes your father can have the memory of a sieve when it comes to non-police related work._ **

**_I love you so much my amazing son. I wish you all of the best for you and your spouse._ **

**_Mom._ **

**_PS- I hope he/she is really lovely._ **

 

Stiles couldn’t help but smile through the tears as he read the last letter his mother had ever written. He absently ran his hands over the indents her tears had made on the page, feeling the paper crinkle further under the indents of his tears that found their way onto the paper.

Reading the letter that his mother had left him was something that had made him extremely happy. It was exactly how she had said, she wasn’t there physically but she was there in spirit and her letter was proof of that.

He couldn’t help but smile at how perceptive his mother had always been, so he wasn’t so surprised that she sensed something before he had even knew it, given her postscript.

He spotted the tattoo of her initials on his wrist and smiled to himself. When he had gotten it, it was a physical representation of her promise that she would always be with him; like he was always carrying her around with him.

After having read the letter, he felt that it had been an affirmation of that fact and that actually she had just given him her blessing.

“You doing okay?” a voice asked.

“Yeah,” he sniffed. “Thank you for this Dad.”

“It’s all from your mother,” his father smiled. “Which before I forget, she also gave you this...”

 Stiles watched as his father a necklace in front of him. It looked exactly like the one his mother had with a minor change to it.

“This belonged to her,” his father explained, “and she wanted you to have it. She told me to add the locket to it when I gave it to you.”

Stiles took hold of the item, and stared at it. He had seen his mother wear it numerous times before and he had actually wondered where it had disappeared to after her death.

He opened the locket and saw a picture of his mother in one half, and the other was empty.

“Why isn’t your picture in the other half?” Stiles questioned.

“I had put her picture in one half because I knew you wouldn’t mind,” his father said. “The other half is for Derek.”

“You know,” Stiles pursed, “I wish she was here today.”

“Me too,” his father nodded. “Me too.”

“Can we you go put flowers by her grave?”

“Do we have time?” his father asked. “Lydia has a very strict schedule for today.”

“Screw the schedule,” he grinned.

“Then sure,” his father smiled. “We can pick up flowers on the way.”

* * *

 

Stiles could feel his heart pounding.

It was time.

 He and Derek were about to get married, which was something that he had wanted for the longest time.

His kept wiping his clammy palms on his pants for the entire car ride to the venue. He could feel how damp his pants were begging to get when he and Scott had pulled up to the venue.

“How are you feeling?” his brother asked.

“Nervous,” Stiles smiled. “My pants practically have wet spots. You?”

“I keep checking my pocket to make sure the ring hasn’t magically disappeared,” Scott smiled.

“They better not,” Stiles laughed, feeling slightly better.

“They are safe and sound,” he smiled.

“Good,” Stiles said.

“I’m really happy for you Stiles,” Scott said after a moment. “It took us a while to get here but I’m glad everything worked out for you.”

“Thanks Scott,” he smiled, hugging his brother. “It means a lot.”

They stayed like that for a while, just sharing their love for each other.

“We should do this more often,” Scott commented.

“Well seeing as I live on the other side of the country,” Stiles said. “That may be a little difficult.”

“You know what I mean,” Scott sighed.

They both got such a fright when there was sudden knock on the window, “This wedding is not going to happen by itself.”

“I know,” Stiles said.

“You’re already late,” Lydia chastised. “Everybody else is inside.”

“Well at least now it’s more like a traditional wedding,” Stiles said.

“Don’t sass me Stiles,” she warned.

“We’ll be there now.”

Scott and Stiles slowly climbed out of the car and made their way towards the building.

 Stiles could feel how sweaty his palms were as he walked towards the building.

They quickly rounded the corner when Stiles spotted the man he was about to marry standing there with his nieces and nephew at the exit leading outside.

Stiles couldn’t believe how handsome Derek looked. The man was in his tailored black suit, highlighting all of his best physical features such as his forearms and ass. Along with a bowtie that they had both decided to wear.

Derek had a purple handkerchief sticking out of his left breast pocket while Stiles’ was white. 

His shoes gave his already towering stature further distinction, and the whole image combined made Stiles’ mouth go dry.

Stiles couldn’t believe that he was going to marry the man of his dreams.

 “You had me worried there for a second,” Derek said when they finally reached him.

“I couldn’t make this entirely easy for you,” Stiles grinned.

“You okay?” he asked. “Scott told me you went to your mother’s grave today.”

“It was a bit emotional,” he answered truthfully, “but honestly it was lovely. She left me something special.”

Stiles held out the locket from around his neck.

“That’s really special,” he said sincerely.

“It is,” he said.

The two men just stood there for a while staring at each other.

Derek couldn’t take his eyes off of Stiles, the past 6 months with the man had been everything he had hoped for and more. When everything had started feeling overwhelming, he would always feel better after speaking to Stiles. The man had been there for him and supported him for whatever he needed.

Derek had been worried that no one would show up for the launch party for their East Coast division but he had been proven wrong, and the whole night was major success.

None of it would have mattered if Stiles wasn’t by his side.

“You guys ready?” Lydia interrupted. “Everyone is seated and the kids are excited so it’s just the happy couple we’re waiting for.”

“We’re ready,” Derek smiled.

Lydia quickly disappeared, letting the kids lead the way as they threw out flower petals down the aisle.

Stiles quickly glanced at his fiancée before they started walking outside.

Stiles couldn’t believe how lucky they were to have such lovely weather when it had been forecast for heavy rains. The sun was shining, and the shrubbery looked especially green as they walked outside.

They quickly neared where everyone was seated, passing family members and friends along their way down the aisle. Stiles saw his father and stepmother, Danny and Ethan, Allison, Jackson and Lydia’s mother all surrounded by friends from his university days.

They also passed Derek’s friends from work, Erica, Kira before coming across his family near the front with Jennifer, Cora, Laura and Jordan who were sitting helping the kids settle in before they passed Derek’s mother Talia.

It didn’t take them long until they reached Isaac, Scott and Peter who stood waiting for them. They had decided that they would only have one person standing up beside them. It had been a no brainer for Stiles to make Scott his best man, and Derek had to choose between Peter and Laura but she had politely declined his offer.

Stiles had been a bit worried about who would officiate the wedding but he was pleasantly surprised when he had discovered that Isaac of all people was able to conduct the ceremony.

It had made it special for them that all the people who meant so much to them were able to share in such a special day.

“We are gathered her to celebrate the overdue union of two people who means a lot to all of us here today...” Isaac started.

Stiles could barely believe that it was finally happening.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Derek was staring at him and holding onto his hands then he might have thought that he was imagining the entire thing.

Stiles had been so focused on Derek that so much of what Isaac had said had been a blur until he realised that they were approaching the part where they would recite their vows.

“Derek,” Isaac said, pulling Stiles from his thoughts, “please repeat after me.”

Stiles made sure to memorise every detail of every movement Derek’s face made and every second of emotions that he felt as he watched the man repeat what Isaac was saying.

“I, Derek, take you, Stiles, to be my lawfully wedded spouse. I promise to love, comfort and cherish you in sickness and in heath, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, forsaking all others for as long as we both shall live.”

Once Derek had finished reciting his vows, it was Stiles’ turn.

“I, Stiles, take you, Derek, to be my lawfully wedded spouse. I promise to love, comfort and cherish you in sickness and in heath, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, forsaking all others for as long as we both shall live.”

“Before we conclude with the ceremony,” Isaac said, “Derek and Stiles both agreed that they wanted their wedding to be traditional with a twist. And that is especially clear seeing as how we’re all dressed in white while the grooms are dressed in black suits.”

“I think we got the better end of the deal because I can only imagine how hot you two must be in those black suits,” Isaac laughed before continuing. “But in honouring their wishes, they will now say their own personal vows to each other. Derek, you can go ahead.”

“There is this expression,” Derek started, gazing into Stiles soul, “that says nothing worthwhile in life is ever easy, and I have come to realise how true that is. You are the most precious and important thing in my life, and going through the challenges we have, has shown me how extraordinarily lucky I am to have someone like you in my life. You’ve help me be a better person.”

“Stiles,” Derek continued the tears running down his face, “if the past year has shown me anything it is that no relationship is ever easy. I wish that we didn't have to experience all the hardships we did because it wasn't easy on either of us but as I stand here now before you I can say that I am glad that we did.”

“We have had to endure more than most,” he said, “and the fact that we are still standing here making this commitment to one another proves that no matter what obstacle may lie ahead, nothing will ever be insurmountable. I love you Stiles, and no words can ever describe how happy I feel knowing that I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Stiles could do nothing to stop the tears streaming down his face, as everything that Derek had said touched his heart. He was forced to utilise his handkerchief and collect himself for a moment before he had to continue.

“If the past year has taught me anything,” Stiles started, exhaling deeply, “it’s that we’re stronger than we think we are. There were times when all I wanted to do was curl into the foetal position and just stay in bed.”

“I think my father and Scott can attest for the fact that I did that once or twice,” he smiled, making everyone laugh, “but it’s only been after we got past everything that I realised everyone of us is stronger than we think we are.”

“I thought that I would have to move across the country to get away from the heartache of losing you but these past few months have shown me how I can have my cake and eat it too.”

`“Derek,” Stiles grinned, “you make me the happiest I have ever been in my entire life and after a particularly nasty day when everything has gone wrong, coming home to you and seeing you with the pizza you bought, because we don’t have time to cook, and the glass of wine awaiting me just lets me know how lucky I am to have someone like you in my life.”

“When you kiss me, you make me feel like I can live without the need to breathe, when you hold me in your arms you, you make me forget about the rest of the world and when we expose our souls to one another, you show me that I am lucky to be with someone who cares about me so much.”

“The fact that I get to have you live out the rest of my life with you,” he concluded, “makes me extremely happy, and if I’m being really honest, worry about your mental state to have fallen in love with me.”

By the time Stiles had finished, there was not a single dry eye present; everyone had laughed and cried their way through his vows.

“If there is anyone,” Isaac said, clearing his throat after the laughter stopped, “who objects to this union, please speak now or forever hold your peace.”

The only sound that could be heard was the overwhelming silence in response to Isaac’s question.

“Then by the power vested in me by the state of California,” he finished, “it gives me the greatest pleasure to now pronounce you, Mr and Mr Hale-Stalinski.”

* * *

 

“Lead the way _husband_ ,” Stiles grinned.

“After you,” Derek replied as they walked into the reception venue.

They were heartily welcomed with cheers as they stepped into the reception venue.

Stiles and Derek were left amazed as they took in how stunning everything looked.

The venue had a large dance floor in the middle, with all the tables for the guests surrounding the dance floor, facing towards the main table where everyone was already seated except for him and Derek.

The chandeliers illuminated everything in sight. Stiles didn’t know where to look because it all looked so pretty and the fact that everyone was dressed in shades of white just made everything appear more ethereal.

“This is amazing,” Stiles commented.

“Yes,” Derek agreed.

“If I knew that weddings were such fun,” Stiles said, “I would’ve gotten married every day.”

Derek just rolled his eyes at Stiles.

“What?” Stiles smirked.

“Nothing,” Derek smiled. “I just love you.”

“I love you too.”

Derek and Stiles slowly drifted towards where they were to be seated, greeting friends along the way.  They lost count of how many people they shook hands with and hugged before they finally sat down.

Both men were pleasantly surprised when Danny took over the roles of MC for the reception. They had not realised how charming and natural the man was as he took on the role of opening up the night. He easily got everyone relaxed with a few jokes, and started the night of on a good note.

“So before we get to dig into the dinner,” the Danny continued, “we’ll be hearing from the best men who I am sure are eager to share some embarrassing stories. We’ll start off with Scott McCall...”

People applauded as Scott rose from his seat, taking the microphone that Danny had handed over to him.

“Everyone here knows that Stiles lacks what we call an a social filter,” Scott started, “and while that has landed him in hot water in many occasions, more so throughout our schooling career, it has gone on to become one of his biggest asset. Whenever you speak to him you know that you are getting nothing less than the truth and that quality is why so many of us trust him, because we know that there is nothing but sincerity in his demeanour.”

“It is also why he is such a successful lecturer because he communicates with such an openness and honesty that captivates whoever listens to him. While this has all been good, I must of course bring out the embarrassing stories.”

“Watch it McCall,” Stiles piped up.

“I don’t think these will be particularly embarrassing because Stiles was never one to become embarrassed but since he has grown up from the young sarcastic and spastic person he used to be, I at least would like to believe that these stories may make him a little uncomfortable.”

“I’d like to think of this as my revenge for Chilli-Gate-2009,” Scott said. “The specifics of which will never be discussed and which Stiles is forbidden from speaking of due to a confidentiality agreement so don’t bother asking him.”

Stiles mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key, much to everyone’s amusement.

“One particular embarrassing moment of Stiles that stands out for comes from the courtesy of our father,” Scott smiled. “It was one evening many moons ago in the Stalinski household when a younger John Stalinski was watching the NFL when a pubescent Stiles came rushing into the room all panicky, lacking the ability to speak.”

“John Stalinski thought that his son was choking and was at the ready to launch into the Heimlich manoeuvre when the following words came out of his son’s mouth: _Dad, I think there is something wrong with my penis, I was taking a pee and my penis is bigger than it was the last time_.”

“John Stalinski had no choice but to have to have _the talk_ , something which I can attest to this day has had scarring effects on both men...but of course it happened after the football match.”

Derek was lovingly looking at his husband as he heard a story that he had never heard before and quickly gave Stiles a peck on the lips. Stiles expertly rose and took a bow as everyone applauded Scott’s story.

 “In another moment,” Scott continued, “that would become to be known as pulling a Stiles, was in our high school years. We were both committed to lacrosse, and I say committed because we weren’t really that good.  We were regular features on the bench and we both knew that was where we excelled at lacrosse, however in one of the weirdest games yet everyone started getting injured and we ended up having to play.”

“As players started coming off the field, our Coach was clearly becoming antsy because in the back of his mind he knew that he would have to rely on his two worst players eventually, though if we were in his position, we would have been worried too.”

Stiles nodded in agreement.

“Anyway,” Scott continued after taking a sip of his water, “eventually Coach came up to us and interrupted our intense conversation that was not actually about the game because we weren’t even aware of what was happening on the field.”

“It was Stiles’ turn to play, so the coach came up to us and turns to Stiles as he said “Put on your helmet, you’re in for Greenberg,” in one of the rarest moments when I’ve witnessed Stiles be speechless he just gaped at Coach Finstock. Eventually once Stiles realises what the coach said, he immediately goes “What?! What happened to Greenberg?” Coach then says, “He sucks, you suck slightly less.”

“Not anymore I don’t,” Stiles quipped.

“I’m know you suck more Stiles,” Scott replied, “and obviously you’re happier than you’ve ever been so sucking must be agreeing with you.”

“Damn right it is,” he winked, causing his father to choke on his drink.

“You realise your dad heard that?” Derek whispered to Stiles.

“Oh Shit...” he swallowed, which made his husband laugh.

“Anyway,” Scott continued, “now back to the story. So then Stiles says “I’m playing?! On the field? With the team?!” to which Coach then says, “Yes, unless you’d rather play with yourself?” Without even thinking Stiles replies: “I already did that today. Twice.”

I have never laughed so hard in my life than in that moment. Our coach just walked away without a word leaving Stiles utterly lost until I told him to get his ass on the field. I can gladly say that he played a spectacularly bad game of lacrosse but it was still his best game yet.

“Such moments have gone on to become some of my most cherished,” Scott said. “All of which I have to thank for having someone like Stiles in my life. I can say that I am very proud of what he has accomplished so far in his life, and I am so fortunate that I get to call him my brother.

 “I won’t lie; as much as I love Stiles, for the longest time I thought that he might end up alone because his openness would scare so many people off but then imagine our surprise when one fateful New Years Eve we see our beloved Stiles, playing tonsil hockey with the emotional vault that is Derek Hale no less.”

As Scott spoke, the photograph o f Stiles and Derek engaging in serious lip action appeared on an overhead that no one knew had been setup.

“Talk about a plot twist,” he joked, causing everyone to laugh. “To say that we were all flabbergasted by this development would be an understatement, and to be honest I was worried because this was something that could go horribly wrong but thankfully they proved that I had no reason to worry.”

“Stiles and Derek have gone on to become a couple that not only I and Allison admire but many other too. I am so happy that finally get to celebrate this wonderful day because for a time there towards the end, we were very scared that this day might never happen.”

“To Mr and Mr Hale-Stalinski,” Scott toasted, “you have endured more than what most couples face in a lifetime and yet here you are, more in love than the day you first met. I wish you nothing but the absolute best and a lifetime full of happiness. Congratulations.”

The hall erupted into cheers and applause as the sound of clinking glasses filled the air in salute of the newlyweds. Danny then came after Scott had finished and introduced Peter as the next best man.

“I have nothing that can top that impeccable first speech by Scott so I won’t attempt to do that,” Peter smiled. “I know you are all starving too, as am I, so I’ll keep this as succinct as possible.”

“That’s a first,” Laura voiced.

Peter just continued as if he hadn’t heard her comment.

“When we, the Hales, first heard of the fact that Derek started dating someone like Stiles we were taken aback because Stiles had been so present throughout our life and he was always that smart mouthed kid who could talk your ear off for hours. To reiterate Scott’s point, any qualms or worries we had were quickly squashed when they proved that not only they could work as couple, but that they actually thrived as one; they suited each other perfectly.”

 “Stiles and Derek,” he continued, “went on to show that everyone had no reason to worry. They were exactly what the other needed. From an outsider’s perspective, you tend to be perceptive of things that other might be unaware of, and I think that an example of that is how Stiles has become so grounded throughout their entire relationship and Derek had opened up in a way that we always hoped he would.”

“I can say that they have made each other better, and it is truly inspiring to see,” Peter concluded. “I wish you many love filled years ahead and that you only go from strength to strength. To Derek and Stiles.”

Everyone raised their glasses and toasted the happy couple.

By the time the speeches were done, they were all starving and it didn’t take much long after that until they were all eagerly digging into the dinner.

Glasses were refilled, the bartender barely got a second to breathe as everyone bombarded him and an endless array of pictures were taken as people came strolling up to the happy couple to wish them well and catch up.

After dinner, Stiles and Derek were speaking to their family members around their table when Lydia interrupted.

“Stiles,” Lydia smiled, “will come with me quickly. I have something that urgently needs your attention.

“Is everything okay?’ Derek asked.

“Yes,” she smiled. “I just have to borrow Stiles quickly.”

“I can come with?” Derek offered.

“It’s fine love,” Stiles said, rising quickly. “Excuse me.”

Derek was left alone in the company of their wedding party while his husband went off and disappeared somewhere.

10 minutes had passed, and Stiles had not yet returned when there was an announcement from the DJ.

“It’s time for the happy couple to have their first dance,” the DJ said.

“Where is Stiles?” Allison asked Derek.

“I don’t know...”

Derek slowly got up and made his way towards the dance floor, looking out for Stiles. Derek was not the type to panic but he was extremely worried, because he was meant to dance in front of people, and he was not a dancer. Adding further stress was that they had gotten a dance instructor to teach them a routine that there were going to perform but now, Stiles was missing.

Everyone was looking expectedly at Derek, but he just gave them an “I-don’t-know-where-he-is” look. He was about to tell them that he had no clue where his husband had vanished to, when the man’s voice came out of the speakers.

“Don’t worry Derek,” Stiles’ voice said. “I haven’t bailed on you; I’m not that easy to get rid of.”

Derek looked around, hoping that he could see the man, but he couldn’t.

He finally spotted his husband when he was making his way out of the crowd with a microphone attached to his jacket. It was the same one that he lectured with at the university where his hands were free so he could gesticulate.

“I wanted to find away,” he said as he walked towards Derek, “to show you exactly how much I love you, and as terrified as I am about singing, it seemed like the only appropriate way do so.”

Derek was hypnotised by his husband and he couldn’t hide his interest in what the man had planned with a raised eyebrow.

“And instead of just having our first dance,” he smiled. “I’ll be singing the song as we dance along to it.”

Everyone clapped at that.

“Thank you for the support everyone,” Stiles nervously laughed, “but rather keep your fingers crossed that we get through this unscathed as we have not prepared for this at all.”

Everyone stilled as the music started playing over the speakers. Stiles and Derek never liked being the centre of attention but on a day like to today, they were actually enjoying it. Having everyone’s eyes on them as they were about to have their first dance was nerve-wracking but the just tried to block out everything else around them.

“You ready,” Stiles mouthed.

Derek nodded.

In rehearsal, they had planned for enough time to get onto the dance floor and timed it to when the first words were sung they’d start their waltz, now, it was all down to following Stiles and keeping in time.

To say that something could easily go wrong was putting it mildly, but thankfully it didn’t.

“ _Heart beats fast_ ,” Stiles sang, his baritone tone apparent, as they begun dancing:

“ _Colours and promises,_

_How_ _to be brave,_

_How_ _can I love when I'm afraid to fall_

_But watching you stand alone_

_All of my doubt_

_Suddenly goes away somehow_

_One step closer_

_I have died every day_

_Waiting for you_

_Darlin' don't be afraid_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more_

_Time stands still_

_Beauty in all she is_

_I will be brave_

_I will not let anything_

_Take away_

_What's standing in front of me_

_Every breath,_

_Every hour has come to this_

_One step closer_

 

The entire first verse and second verse of their dance had been Stiles trying to calm his breath, singing in key and watch as Derek tried to keep time. It was clear that as everything was happening Derek’s lips were going “1, 2, 3” repeatedly as they moved to the sound of the music.

That part of the dance had been relatively simple because they were moving around the floor using the same steps, the difficult part still awaited them.

_I have died every day_

_Waiting for you_

_Darlin' don't be afraid_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more_

_And all along I believed_

_I would find you_

_Time has brought_

_Your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more_

 

It was at this part that things got complicated.

Stiles was turned out in such a way that they ended up with a small margin of distance between them. They slowly took a few steps closer to each other.

Stiles then realised that he had no clue what dance step came next, which had almost caused him to panic. Derek had managed to be okay and because he had found his way through the dance even though Stiles was singing, but Stiles was still nervous and could barely focus on what lyrics came next never mind the steps that had awaited him.

They had rehearsed the dance so many times that he was sure he was performing it on muscle memory but they had made changes to the next bit days prior so when the time came to figure out what step came next, Stiles was lost.

He slowly looked at Derek who was standing front of him, and as he did that he felt a sense of calm wash over him.

It had only been an instant but as soon as opened his mouth to sing, he knew that Derek was there for him. He didn’t have to worry because Derek took his hands into his and when he sang the next word, Stiles knew exactly what steps came next.

_One step closer_

_One step closer_

_I have died every day_

_Waiting for you_

_Darlin' don't be afraid,_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more_

_And all along I believed_

_I would find you_

_Time has brought_

_Your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a_

_Thousand years_

_I'll love you for a_

_Thousand more...”_

Stiles could do nothing but gaze at Derek as the music slowly faded off.

The room was spinning, his heart was thudding and he was out of breath but he knew that in the arms of the person he loved he would be safe. They had anchored each other, their dance had been proof of that and he could not have been happier. Everything else had not mattered, only each other.

Derek slowly raised his hands up to his husband and cupped them as they started kissing, nothing else matter but the feel of Derek’s lips against his and the sounds of their heavy breaths passing between their mouths.

When Derek extended the kiss, darting his tongue into Stiles’ mouth, they both couldn’t control the groan that escaped from them.

Thankfully someone had been wise enough to switch off his microphone, so no else heard it. Also most of the other sounds were hard to hear because there was such a loud volume of cheers and applause happening around them.

Stiles felt Derek’s body pressed up against his, and he wanted to give his hands free rein to explore the man’s toned muscular body, but he was brought back to the reality of their situation too soon when a voice that was not his own came over the speakers.

“Talk about a magnificent first dance everybody,” the Danny said, causing the room to erupt in further cheers. “Clearly part two of their dance will be continuing later behind closed doors. Right Gentleman?”

Stiles gave Danny a knowing smirk, after he and Derek had broke their kiss, before answering the man, “I have no clue what you’re talking about Danny.”

“Suuure Stiles,” his friend grinned.

The rest of the night passed by with a lot of dancing, drinking and food; Stiles and Derek were both on a high and they knew that that day had turned out to be one of the best days of their lives. It had excelled beyond their expectations.

The newlyweds were sitting comfortably beside each other while the party started dwindling down.

“I forgot to ask,” Stiles said when they were watching everyone, “what’s with the purple handkerchief?”

“I wondered if you noticed earlier,” Derek smiled. “My mom gave it to me for today, it belonged to my dad.”

“So we both had keepsakes of our late parents,” he smiled. “It just makes this day that much special doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “It does.”

“Today was everything I wanted it to be and more,” Stiles said after a moment.

“Me too,” Derek smiled as his kissed Stiles on the temple.

“I doubt this day can get better,” Stiles said.

“I’m about to prove you wrong,” Scott announced.

“Sheesh,” Stiles said. “You just popped out of nowhere.”

“I’m a ninja like that,” Scott winked.

“Whatever you chop,” Stiles groaned. “I’m seriously interested in hearing how the hell you’re going to make this perfect day, even better. I seriously doubt you can.”

“What if I told you,” Scott started, “you’re going to be an Uncle?”

“Yeah right,” Stiles scoffed.

Stiles thought that his brother was just messing with him, but it wasn’t until he noticed the wide smirk on his brother’s face that he knew Scott wasn’t lying to him.

“No shit,” Stiles exclaimed. “You’re being serious? I’m going be an Uncle?”

“Yes,” Scott grinned. “Allison is pregnant. It’s why she ran to the bathroom this morning and being drinking juice the entire night.”

“That’s amazing!!!” Stiles grinned. “I’m so happy for you Scott!”

“Congrats Scott,” Derek smiled.

“I stand corrected,” Stiles smiled. “This day just got better.” 

* * *

 

**_7 Years Later_ **

 

“Dad,” Victoria said. “I want the new iPhone!”

“Victoria,” Stiles added, “You just got a new phone 6 months ago, if you want the new iPhone you’re going to have to save up for it. Think of something else you want for Christmas.”

“I want the new Batman toy!!” Daniel voiced.

“That I can do,” he smiled.

“But it comes with the Batmobile and Batcraft too,” he added.

“Of course it does,” Stiles laughed, like he should have expected that.

“How about tickets to the 5 SOS concert?” Victoria said.

“5 S.O.S?”

 “5 Seconds of Summer,” she said as if it was the most obvious thing in world.

“I’ll speak to your daddy about it,” Stiles said.

“Speak to me about what?” Derek said walking into the kitchen.

“Victoria’s Christmas present,” he said. “Hey.”

“Hello,” Derek said giving his husband an extra long kiss on the lips.

“Eww,” Daniel laughed.

“We really don’t need to see that Dads,” Victoria groaned.

“Yeah yeah,” Stiles smiled at his children. “How was your day?”

“Rough,” Derek answered, “but now that I’m home, much better.”

Just as Derek gave Stiles another kiss, their eldest son Leo walked in with his cousin Shaun, and Leo’s friend Tyler.

“Did you even go to work today Daddy?” Leo asked. “Because I swear when I left for school for this morning you were still kissing Dad.”

“Watch it Mr,” Derek warned playfully. “Otherwise you won’t the new lacrosse gear you were eyeing yesterday.”

“That’s a low blow,” Leo replied.

“I’ll show you low blow,” Derek smiled.

Derek quickly caught his 14 year old son and picked him up, playfully fighting with him.

“Boys,” Stiles bellowed. “Its supper time, can we please break down the house another time.”

“Sorry Dad,” Leo laughed. “But it’s daddy’s fault.”

Derek ruffled his son’s head before he finally let him go.

“Nice to see you joining us for supper Tyler again,” Stiles grinned, welcoming his son’s best friend.

“Thanks for the invite Mr Stiles,” he said.

“Pleasure,” Stiles smiled. “What time are your parents expecting you home tonight?”

“Before 9,” he answered.

“Okay,” Stiles said. “Mr Hale will get you home before then.”

“Thank you,” Tyler said.

“Shaun,” Derek started, “how’s your little sister doing?”

“Jessica is good,” Shaun smiled. “Currently going through a Troye Sivan phase which is soo annoying but she is good.”

“Well at least she’s outgrown her Dora the Explorer phase,” Stiles commented. “We’ve been trying to prevent Daniel from going through that.”

“And the Ben 10 phase too,” Derek added.

“That must be difficult,” Shaun smiled.

“Not really,” Stiles whispered. “You just distract them with other cartoons.”

“That’s genius,” he laughed. “I’m going to use that one day.”

“You do that,” Derek laughed.

“Everybody ready for supper?” Stiles asked.

“Yes,” he got in reply.

“We have 4 pizzas which you little monsters can devour, while your dad and I are having Mexican...No offence Tyler,” he joked.

“It’s okay,” he laughed. “My dad refers to your family as the global Brandy Bunch.”

Derek couldn’t help choke on his drink as the young boy had said that.

Both men were slightly perplexed what one subject had to do with the other but they let the young boy continue.

“Leo from South Africa, Victoria from China and then your own son Daniel,” Tyler explained. “It’s like the global Brady Bunch.”

Tyler had explained it so easily that Stiles suspected that Tyler must have heard his father repeat it many times before.

“I don’t understand what he means cause I’ve never heard of the Brady Bunch though,” he concluded.

“Thank you Tyler,” Stiles laughed. “You just made my night.”

Tyler just smiled as he started digging into his slices of pizza.

Stiles quickly shot his husband a knowing smirk, because it had been a comment that Laura herself had made it on many occasion.

He recognised that the young man had a point. They had decided on wanting three children and unexpectedly they had ended up with their lovely kids faster than they had anticipated.

They adopted Leo from South Africa three years ago when the young boy was 11, after experiencing some of the poverty within the country when Stiles went there on a work trip. They had adopted Victoria from China after hearing about the overpopulation situation in China, and with Daniel they had decided that they wanted to try the surrogate route and somehow everything had worked out easily the first time around.

After having heard about the stories of how many kids were in the foster system and without parents, Scott and Allison had decided to adopt Shaun from the US. It wasn’t all easy going, Leo had attitude problems and Shaun had ended up being arrested once for shoplifting, but after they had showed the kids that they weren’t going to give up on them, it became easier.

 Stiles could see exactly how they were like a global Brady Bunch, personally, he always saw his family as their own version of the Addams family but the Brady Bunch wasn’t bad either.

“Guys,” Stiles continued, “don’t forget that your father will need you to be ready when he gets back from work tomorrow afternoon. I want you to look presentable because lots of photos are going to be taken at the book launch.”

“Okay,” Leo answered.

“Will we need to be prepared for anything?” Victoria asked.

“How so?” Derek asked.

“Like if they’ll ask us about the book,” she answered.

“I don’t know,” Stiles answered glancing at Derek. “They’ll have a general Q and A section but that will most likely be directed at me. I don’t think so but they might.”

“That’ll be cool,” Leo said.

“What?” Stiles gasped. “Did you just say that it’ll be ‘cool’?”

“Yes Dad,” he groaned. “I did _in fact_ read the book.”

“You did?” Derek asked.

“Yes,” he said. “I liked it.”

“Me too,” Shaun said. “It was nice to see the story of how you and Uncle Derek came together...sorta.”

“Why couldn’t you and Mr Hale be in the story?” Tyler voiced.

“You read it too?”

“No,” Tyler blushed. “Leo told me about it and that the story is about how you got married but that the characters were all made up by you.”

“Well,” he shifted, “it allowed me to make changes so that everyone could relate to the story.”

“I still think it should have been you and Daddy in the story,” Victoria said, returning to her pizza.

Stiles was a bit taken aback by the support from his family. He knew that they supported him but to not only hear but witness their interest in something he had initially been very scared to do in the start, had made everything worthwhile.

He couldn’t believe that he almost didn’t do but, but he was glad that Derek encouraged him to do it. It had all turned out to be a perfect ending.

“Will I finally be able to hear the title now?” Derek asked.

“Yes Dad! Please!” Daniel added. “What’s the name of the book?”

Stiles playfully eyed everyone around the table, “Are you sure you want to know it?”

Derek nodded.

Stiles climbed up and retrieved a book from his bag wrapped in brown paper; he returned to the table and gave it to Derek. Derek opened the brown cover over the book to reveal the cover.

The cover had the title on the top with Stiles’ name underneath it while the cover picture was that of an open engagement box with the ring missing. Derek couldn’t help but smirk at the cover.

“What it’s called Daddy?” Victoria asked eagerly.

Derek looked at his husband and smiled, before he turned his attention to their family.

“ _The Vanishing Proposal_...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All good things come to an end, and we have unfortunately reached our end. I want to thank everyone who commented on this story because you helped me craft this story.
> 
> 1\. Sorry for the Delay, I graduated with a triple major to get my Bachelor of Arts Degree. At The University of Cape Town. Super proud of myself. It’s all on my tumblr: www.thelionmutters.tumblr/post/106043683804/my-graduation-yay-me-graduated-with-a#_=_  
> 2\. All the music for this story, and the songs that I have used as inspiration can be found on my tumblr: http://thelionmutters.tumblr.com/post/106325836964/songs-for-the-vanishing-proposal  
> 3\. I understand that everyone wearing white to a wedding is very impractical but I always thought it would look so nice to have the entire wedding party dressed in white/cream with an accessory in their favourite colour and that way on a hot summer day everyone is cooler but it also looks nice...but again it’s kinda impractical.  
> 4\. The moment that Scott speaks of in his best man speech about Stiles telling his father about his penis was actually something that I did. This probably TMI so be warned but, AI was 11 and just ended up blurting out to my mother that my penis had gotten bigger without fully understand that it was all a part of puberty. I knew my body would change, I just naively forgot that it meant my penis would grow too.  
> 5\. I will next be finishing of my other Teen Wolf/Orphan Black Sterek fic and then maybe start a Shameless Mickian story or Grimm Burknard fic after that. I still have to edit my own novel and maybe post that online somewhere but yeah...not sure yet.  
> 6\. I would love to be a novelist but in South Africa that is not entirely realistic so I’ll be continuing with writing in my spare time. My type of writing is not exactly viable for local readership but I’m okay with that.  
> 7\. I was rewatching episodes of Teen Wolf and I just have to say that plot issues aside, cannon Stiles and Derek, especially Season 1 and 2, were amazing. You can’t fake that type of chemistry that Dylan and Tyler has. Dylan’s improvisation just made things funnier. I hope that in the new season we get back our Sterek scenes.
> 
> Title: A Thousand Years – Christina Perry
> 
> This song is amazing...


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